Stalemate problem with all my dates and matches, solutions?

[sangheilios]

Ok bro. Do it your way. You asked for help, I gave you the game. If she does not accept or counter offer, she is not interested. Nothing you do will change it.

And this is the simple truth and answer to all of this lol. What the f do you guys having going on in your lives where you'd invest time and energy into women that really aren't interested.

 

[SW15]

Seems suboptimal and I will explain why:
- If she is on the fence and replies "I can't. Sorry" you are done. Deleting her number makes zero sense, just shows you are butthurt and emotionally affected.

You're likely doing this from a distance and she has no idea that you're deleting her number.

If you would have at first figured out her schedule (days she is free) and then offered to meet in one of those days you would statistically increase odds of a meetup without being boxed in and without being seen as needy. You are not playing chess by just deleting her number and giving up. The chances are she would be in a different mood two weeks down the line and feel differently if you reengage. She is a maybe girl that a skilled seducer could potentially (although not guaranteed) convert to a yes girl.

The main problem with your argument here is that you ignore masculine-feminine polarity, which most women are attuned to and seek inside interactions with men. They expect men to lead the interaction. You are not leading the interaction in a way she tends to find attractive.

 

[JusSayin]

The biggest reason why forums like this and these pick up scam artists have following is because of men chasing women that aren't really interested. You and every other man would be better off completely moving on from these women instead of wasting your time with this ****.

If I did what you said I would statistically leave too much "maybe" ***** on the table and reduce my chances of ****ing Stacies.
I already had experience like this, met a girl from cold approach, 8/10 and young, Stacy type. We messaged a bit and she was non-responsive. I took a break and instead of deleting her number, reengaged her and got her on a date, then ****ed her on second date and then she started becoming clingy and I ****ed things up.
If I had just "deleted her number", I would have never had the opportunity to create a LTR with a Stacy. I was persistant and over time she started messaging me more often.
This was the "game" element. Girls mood change like weather. One day she is pissed off and doesn't want to talk with anyone and another day she is eating your dik. We can't be too uptight and butthurt when they don't respond.
Another one I had deleted number and then she reenganged and we had a LTR, because she splitup with her ex and I was backup plan.

If she keeps rejecting your advances over and over or explictly says you not to contact her, then yeah, don't waste time, but there is a lot of wiggle room actually and people who are dogmatic absolutists and claim "game doesn't exist!" just conveniently ignore this.

Game can be as tiny a nuance as calling her in the evenings and organizing dates at 8pm instead of lunch. One increases odds of a lay better than other. Game is about finding most optimal approach.

And this is the simple truth and answer to all of this lol. What the f do you guys having going on in your lives where you'd invest time and energy into women that really aren't interested.

Because practice shows that there is a percentage of cases where you can get a girl who was cold for a while later.

If game doesn't exist, why does this forum even exist lol

 

[JusSayin]

The main problem with your argument here is that you ignore masculine-feminine polarity, which most women are attuned to and seek inside interactions with men. They expect men to lead the interaction. You are not leading the interaction in a way she tends to find attractive.

Okay, fair. Then how about this:
"Send me days on which youre free and we'll organize a meet"
More masculine and direct command, yet still employing strategy where you find her availability first.
She might say "I can't this week, exams" and then you agree to reengage in a week or two and it might actually work vs just getting butthurt she rejected your offer and didn't offer a counter one. Maybe she forgot? Maybe she was studying for test, maybe she was drunk?
Have to be tactical imo.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Okay, fair. Then how about this:
"Send me days on which youre free and we'll organize a meet"

No. You are asking her to do unnecessary work. The easier you make it for people, the more likely it is for you to get what you want. Women do not want to do the planning. She just wants to pick her outfit and show up.

 

[SW15]

"Send me days on which youre free and we'll organize a meet"

Still no. Still too passive. You might be able to get away with that if the woman is higher interest, but normal range interest women won't respond well to that.

Agree with @EyeBRollin above. You need to make things as easy as possible for her. Women have abundance and if you're not making it as easy as possible for her, someone else will do that for her.

 

[JusSayin]

Still no. Still too passive. You might be able to get away with that if the woman is higher interest, but normal range interest women won't respond well to that.

Okay, well this is advice from AMS and other "puas", so idk.
You have a point that women want directness and dominance, but busy women ARE busy and you have to fit in their schedule. Especially if you are not a " yes", but a "maybe". Often girls are out of city visiting their parents in the country-side.

I guess we would need to use two approaches and compare which one comes out statistically when it comes to conversions.

I have actually experienced WORSE results when I try to be direct and immediately give her time and day. She usually had something to do then.

Then when I asked her for availability, we could tentatively figure out a good day to meet.

Another way to go would be to screen like this:
"Hey x, what's up this evening?" or "You feeling adventerous tonight?"
This way you don't offer directly at risk of being blown out, but feel her availability out first.
In Tinder this is better, because they will always never offer to reschedule, but they will still agree to a date if it fits within their schedule, so that way it carriers better odds of conversion at least on Tinder

 

[CornbreadFed]

No such thing as game.

"Chemistry" is just some term used to describe the degree of mutual attraction you have towards one another. An example of having "chemistry" is when you are both highly attracted to one another, have a lot in common, vibing, etc. A lack of "chemistry" could be where maybe there was some initial physical attraction but there's no real personal compatibility or maybe something where you have a mannerism she finds annoying. That's how I look at this variable.

Personality is a trait that you really can't change and is a part of you as an individual. Trying to change or alter your personality is not a good idea, most people will unwittingly pick up on this and feel something is "off". I feel personality ties in with "chemistry" where some people basically vibe well with others or maybe instead clash. This is something you can even link with your interactions with everyone in general and not just with opposite sex interactions. I really shouldn't need to elaborate on this, literally every single person who socializes to some extent knows exactly what I'm talking about.

I think we agree, but my definition of game isn't really "game" lol. My point is that even if you meet a girl that has high interest in you, you still have to compete against other men for her, so just picking the woman with the highest interest isn't a good strategy. I am sure you have had a complete open hail mary pass thrown at you by a woman and you still dropped the ball lol. Furthermore, what if the women giving you the highest interest are women that you aren't attracted to...fatties and such lol.

 

[JusSayin]

I think we agree, but my definition of game isn't really "game" lol. My point is that even if you meet a girl that has high interest in you, you still have to compete against other men for her, so just picking the woman with the highest interest isn't a good strategy. I am sure you have had a complete open hail mary pass thrown at you by a woman and you still dropped the ball lol. Furthermore, what if the women giving you the highest interest are women that you aren't attracted to...fatties and such lol.

My experience as well. High interest girls are always lame. Settling for a mediocre girl or fatty would be laziness and cowardice in a way. Better struggle harder and play the game trying to secure someone at least a point above your level. People generally date across, but there is leeway. If you are 7/10 you will never get 10/10, but with good game you can secure 8/10 maybe even 8.5/10

 

[sangheilios]

I think we agree, but my definition of game isn't really "game" lol. My point is that even if you meet a girl that has high interest in you, you still have to compete against other men for her, so just picking the woman with the highest interest isn't a good strategy. I am sure you have had a complete open hail mary pass thrown at you by a woman and you still dropped the ball lol. Furthermore, what if the women giving you the highest interest are women that you aren't attracted to...fatties and such lol.

What I'm really trying to get at is this. The vast majority of men's frustrating experiences in the dating market are overwhelmingly due to them interacting with women that are not all that interested in them. When a woman is highly interested, everything lines up very naturally and you'd have to screw up really bad for it to fall through the cracks. However, the issue most men have is that the MAJORITY of their interactions with the opposite sex are going to be with women that were luke warm at best. I personally just do not have the time or energy to try to convert a woman like this into being interested, you and other men shouldn't either. The OP here is basically trying to decipher what went wrong when the simple answer was at some point they decided they just weren't interested.

As for the fatties lol. I personally don't even see how something like that is even relevant, why would you even be going on a date with a woman that you weren't interested in? I'm not sure if this is a thing or not, definitely not something I would do.

Again, I think the biggest issue is that men are just not meeting women that have actual interest in them. To add to this, the variable you are repeating here should seriously be considered, which is you competing against other man that she also may have interest in. Again, this isn't purely do to looks and you need to factor in other things like personal compatibility, aka "chemistry", and things along those lines.

The dating market is substantially tougher and more competitive than it was for previous generations of men. People in the past dated and ultimately settled with others that were roughly like them.

 

[sangheilios]

If I did what you said I would statistically leave too much "maybe" ***** on the table and reduce my chances of ****ing Stacies.
I already had experience like this, met a girl from cold approach, 8/10 and young, Stacy type. We messaged a bit and she was non-responsive. I took a break and instead of deleting her number, reengaged her and got her on a date, then ****ed her on second date and then she started becoming clingy and I ****ed things up.
If I had just "deleted her number", I would have never had the opportunity to create a LTR with a Stacy. I was persistant and over time she started messaging me more often.
This was the "game" element. Girls mood change like weather. One day she is pissed off and doesn't want to talk with anyone and another day she is eating your dik. We can't be too uptight and butthurt when they don't respond.
Another one I had deleted number and then she reenganged and we had a LTR, because she splitup with her ex and I was backup plan.

If she keeps rejecting your advances over and over or explictly says you not to contact her, then yeah, don't waste time, but there is a lot of wiggle room actually and people who are dogmatic absolutists and claim "game doesn't exist!" just conveniently ignore this.

Game can be as tiny a nuance as calling her in the evenings and organizing dates at 8pm instead of lunch. One increases odds of a lay better than other. Game is about finding most optimal approach.


Because practice shows that there is a percentage of cases where you can get a girl who was cold for a while later.

If game doesn't exist, why does this forum even exist lol

Ok, and if you were to do the numbers what would you say your success rate with this strategy was? I guarantee you that it was very low.

 

[JusSayin]

What I'm really trying to get at is this. The vast majority of men's frustrating experiences in the dating market are overwhelmingly due to them interacting with women that are not all that interested in them. When a woman is highly interested, everything lines up very naturally and you'd have to screw up really bad for it to fall through the cracks. However, the issue most men have is that the MAJORITY of their interactions with the opposite sex are going to be with women that were luke warm at best. I personally just do not have the time or energy to try to convert a woman like this into being interested, you and other men shouldn't either. The OP here is basically trying to decipher what went wrong when the simple answer was at some point they decided they just weren't interested.

As for the fatties lol. I personally don't even see how something like that is even relevant, why would you even be going on a date with a woman that you weren't interested in? I'm not sure if this is a thing or not, definitely not something I would do.

Again, I think the biggest issue is that men are just not meeting women that have actual interest in them. To add to this, the variable you are repeating here should seriously be considered, which is you competing against other man that she also may have interest in. Again, this isn't purely do to looks and you need to factor in other things like personal compatibility, aka "chemistry", and things along those lines.

The dating market is substantially tougher and more competitive than it was for previous generations of men. People in the past dated and ultimately settled with others that were roughly like them.

Because if we follow your strategy we would have to wait for months and once in a blue moon find a match. If we try to convert lukewarm girls to hot ones we can invaluable skill of social acuity and also increase the amount of women and frequency of sex we are having. It's just a logical thing to do. This forum is called "Don Juan" discussion. Don Juan doesn't go only for surefire girls, he has charm that can attract "maybe" girls. Going for "yes" girls literally requires no skill, so what's the point even discussing it?

 

[JusSayin]

Ok, and if you were to do the numbers what would you say your success rate with this strategy was? I guarantee you that it was very low.

About 1-2 lays per 10 dates. About, let me see... idk, hard to say, I don't have enough data honestly.

 

[JusSayin]

other things like personal compatibility, aka "chemistry", and things along those lines.

Chemistry is personality and communication, so thats game pretty much. Specific actions either increase or decrease chemistry.

 

[SW15]

About 1-2 lays per 10 dates.

That's not a terrible date to bang ratio. Getting laid with 1-2 women for every 10 you go on 1 date with is a ratio better than some men.

 

[JusSayin]

That's not a terrible date to bang ratio. Getting laid with 1-2 women for every 10 you go on 1 date with is a ratio better than some men.

I didn't know that's considered ok. Seems like awful waste of time to spend 9 dates only to bang one girl. If I could bang 20-30% of girls I date, that would be a good stat imo. Also, of course if 1 out of 10 is a Stacy that's worth like 5 average girls.

 

[sangheilios]

Because if we follow your strategy we would have to wait for months and once in a blue moon find a match. If we try to convert lukewarm girls to hot ones we can invaluable skill of social acuity and also increase the amount of women and frequency of sex we are having. It's just a logical thing to do. This forum is called "Don Juan" discussion. Don Juan doesn't go only for surefire girls, he has charm that can attract "maybe" girls. Going for "yes" girls literally requires no skill, so what's the point even discussing it?

If your goal is to waste a ton of your own time and energy go for it. I can't imagine expending these two valuable resources, which I'll never get back, on some woman(en) that have no real interest in me and in reality are probably not all that great either. Men that do well for themselves in the dating market are able to recognize what they themselves bring to the table, what they are looking for with the opposite sex and the types of women he should be going for, how to find/obtain them, etc.

 

[JusSayin]

If your goal is to waste a ton of your own time and energy go for it. I can't imagine expending these two valuable resources, which I'll never get back, on some woman(en) that have no real interest in me and in reality are probably not all that great either. Men that do well for themselves in the dating market are able to recognize what they themselves bring to the table, what they are looking for with the opposite sex and the types of women he should be going for, how to find/obtain them, etc.

My goal is not to waste a ton of time.
My goal is to invest time to acquire the skill of seduction.
If you operate under assumption that there is no such thing, then why even spend time on a forum literally titled SoSuave "Don Juan Discussion"?

 

[sangheilios]

About 1-2 lays per 10 dates. About, let me see... idk, hard to say, I don't have enough data honestly.

So hear me out.

Women don't go on dates with men that they have 0 interest in, ok. So these women you are getting out on dates have at least some degree of interest, even if it's slight. I'm going to disregard women that are going out on a date with you out of boredom, this is a thing that I've seen but we'll pretend this isn't that case.

These women that ultimately ended up going beyond first dates may not have "cracked" due to your persistence and could have done so for other reasons. Maybe the guy higher on her list of priorities moved on from her. Maybe she had a lot of stuff going on with her life at the time and found herself available.

You are looking way too deeply into this. There is nothing wrong with sending out a text down the road. In fact, it's such an effortless thing to do it's honestly not a bad idea to try.

 

[sangheilios]

My goal is not to waste a ton of time.
My goal is to invest time to acquire the skill of seduction.
If you operate under assumption that there is no such thing, then why even spend time on a forum literally titled SoSuave "Don Juan Discussion"?

Man, you are taking this way too deeply lol. You realize guys like Don Juan and Casanova, Romeo, Jack from Titanic, etc. lol are all just fictional type characters. None of that is how the real world works lol.

If you keep reading this PUA nonsense you are going to come across as a phoney and other people, including women, are going to pick up on it. You probably also may start taking this too seriously and develop some really bad habits or mindsets that will not serve you well in life.