Still a loser at 38

[anonymous12345]

It’s spectacular, I still can’t approach — when it counts — at an age of 38. I’ve read all the central books on game, done over a thousand approaches during one year, read plenty of SS, got a great network IRL of casanovas, and got above average SMV (beyond these game skills), but still chicken out when it counts. Has anyone managed to crawl out of a situation similar to mine?

When the girl/situation is really good, I chicken out. It’s a wimp. It’s that simple.

 

[SW15]

You say that you've done 1,000 approaches in one year. That is approaching. Why do you claim you can't approach?

 

[Serenity]

You say that you've done 1,000 approaches in one year. That is approaching. Why do you claim you can't approach?

He can't when it counts, in other words when he's actually attracted to the woman he wants to approach. I'm guessing the 1000 approaches were women he weren't attracted to.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

OP have you considered a cheap flight to Amsterdam for the escorts?

 

[Kotaix]

It’s spectacular, I still can’t approach — when it counts — at an age of 38. I’ve read all the central books on game, done over a thousand approaches during one year, read plenty of SS, got a great network IRL of casanovas, and got above average SMV (beyond these game skills), but still chicken out when it counts. Has anyone managed to crawl out of a situation similar to mine?

When the girl/situation is really good, I chicken out. It’s a wimp. It’s that simple.

You are defining yourself as a loser, therefore you are a loser.

You'll never be good enough as long as you continue to think that you somehow need to earn your right to approach a hot woman. As long as she gives you a sign of interest, what the hell do you have to lose?

Confidence is NOT earned, it's projected.

 

[anonymous12345]

Reasons:

• Some internalised "you're not allowed"/"that's not for you" bs from childhood
• I make up tons of excuses in the moment, "it won't work, it never does"
• Spontaneous, bypassing shyness/timidness
• The curse of a lefty
• Other bs excuses, and known them all for a long time

I don't care about my life, that's the only solution, what bothers me now is unsolved problems.

 

[anonymous12345]

You say that you've done 1,000 approaches in one year. That is approaching. Why do you claim you can't approach?

Yes, to some degree approaches at least (some) are done, though few closes of various kind.

He can't when it counts, in other words when he's actually attracted to the woman he wants to approach. I'm guessing the 1000 approaches were women he weren't attracted to.

Indeed. When I feel very attracted or I read that the situation is promising, then I fold.

OP have you considered a cheap flight to Amsterdam for the escorts?

Not my cup of tea for various reasons. Who knows, maybe is one day.

 

[tksniper]

It’s spectacular, I still can’t approach — when it counts — at an age of 38. I’ve read all the central books on game, done over a thousand approaches during one year, read plenty of SS, got a great network IRL of casanovas, and got above average SMV (beyond these game skills), but still chicken out when it counts. Has anyone managed to crawl out of a situation similar to mine?

When the girl/situation is really good, I chicken out. It’s a wimp. It’s that simple.

I work in sales and get rejected everyday so I have no qualms about women rejecting me. Your fight or flight response is too reactive.

The only way you can get over it is to desensitize yourself. No amount of self help or ebooks can help you.

Practice making eye contact with every woman you are attracted to. Then practice saying hi or good morning. Then when you are desensitized to that, start asking general questions.

And eventually start asking PERSONAL questions.

This is when you truely escalate with women as a man. You asking personal questions = women know you’re interested from a mile away. You don’t have to be super obvious. In fact, 99% of flirting is subtle.

Start small. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

 

[TheManMasenko]

Stop complaining you fkn loser! You NEVER made a post on how to improve just moan moan and fkn moan!

The vag age is here!

 

[Learning Curve]

We are in the century of 2023.

Everything is competitive.

Assuming that your looks, life, money is in point you should have gotten some results based on your "1,000" approaches that you state that you have done.

My senses are telling me you are doing the same things even after reading countless of books.

Better post an example of an approach to get some insights on these forums on how to improve.

 

[BoomToTheMoonAlice]

Go to the Philippines, if you're half decent, they'll approach you.

 

[MatureDJ]

It’s spectacular, I still can’t approach — when it counts — at an age of 38. I’ve read all the central books on game, done over a thousand approaches during one year, read plenty of SS, got a great network IRL of casanovas, and got above average SMV (beyond these game skills), but still chicken out when it counts. Has anyone managed to crawl out of a situation similar to mine?

When the girl/situation is really good, I chicken out. It’s a wimp. It’s that simple.

What do you mean by "higher than average SMV"? Are you tall? Have Chaddish facial features? Having a good career is pretty much only attractive to single mommies.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Boils down to one simple question

Would you rather be a loser or risk some temporary humiliation ?

Approaching random beautiful women is nerve wracking , it's nerve wracking for everyone

I HATE the build up , but once ive done the approach I ALWAYS feel 100x better in myself and ALWAYS learn something I can take to the next one even if it didn't go that well

I've had a couple of interactions with a girl in my gym , I like her

The next time I see her I know I have to look her in the eyes and ask her out , this is me putting my balls on the line and risking being humiliated

Even if she blows me out I can say to myself I did everything I could

to me this is better than being a man with no balls , plus it will make a good story in my diary that I can look back on and laugh at

 

[Gamisch]

Yes op

Nobody fecking cares. You can die today and perhaps in a few weeks they'll clean You up because your rotting corpse is smelling so bad. In 3rd world countries they just leave you as food for the stray dogs.

Welcome in the life of a man.

You are 38 . That means,if you let this depression get the best of you you have very few years of "prime" left.

You either man the F up or you resign right now. I am your age, i REFUSED to give up...I am in the best shape ever, i got a new job(completely new skill ), quit smoking and drinking and drugs and redefined my looks/image/wardrobe/style .

______________________________________
Yes I'm a azzhole and yes I am insensitive.

Here's the thing:
1. Women are batshyte crazy..thats one.
2. IF and WHEN you do meet one who for whatever vague reason likes your sorry azz, you better ne the BEST VERSION OF YOURSELF. This time you're moaning and crying should be spend on making progress. Period.

Stop being pathetic, because no one cares. Men be like mewwh, women be like YUK!!

Chalk it up and get oVer yourself.

If you want women become a MAN MAN, become a super hero /villian, become this strong dude that doesn't play around.

At some point SOME crazy azz bytch will be curious about you and either approach you, or appreciate your approach.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Maybe you should go hang with Beck?

 

[Gamisch]

You should be way tougher on yourself.

Nobody should be as though on you as rge man in the mirror.

Women have zero sympathy for losers. Men moan about the 10% for a reason. Let alone positioning /believing you belong at the bottom.

I know a few incels who reason like this. Nobody really cares about them tho..

 

[Dr.Suave]

When the girl/situation is really good, I chicken out. It’s a wimp.

Bro, I say this with love: Stop being a little b1tch. Time to be a man.

 

[Supreme Solar Wolf]

OP: how tall r u? That could be ur problem.

 

[sangheilios]

He can't when it counts, in other words when he's actually attracted to the woman he wants to approach. I'm guessing the 1000 approaches were women he weren't attracted to.

The reality is that most men did NOT just randomly approach women that they found attractive and turn such an interaction into a number that lead to a date, let alone a relationship. The vast majority of men typically meet women by having some sort of proximity with them. This could be things like going to the same college together or even sharing the same class(es). It could be working at the same place, going to the same gym regularly, etc. It also could be something like where you have a social circle where you cross paths with one another or where you are set up on a date with one another. Aside from online dating, this is how most men are meeting women.

Very few men are going out and randomly approaching women that are complete strangers AND actually having it lead to a real number, let alone a date. I start imagining these PUA videos you see on youtube where they go approach some woman at the mall and she is instantly into the conversation lol. People take **** like that way too seriously and fail to recognize that most of what they are seeing there is just acting and not real lol. Stuff this like this for sure happens, but it's not all that common or the norm. This is why men that have a life where they are isolated from opposite sex interactions struggle in the dating market. Their only options are OLD sites/apps and random approaches like this, both of which have incredibly low rates of success.