17 year old waitress in a bar.

Styr

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 10, 2012
Messages
107
Reaction score
26
Age
40
Location
Estonia
Background: There is a bar/restaurant I frequent, and most of the waiting staff know by heart what I want when I go there.

I went to the bar today with a woman (relatively decent looking in her mid 30s) whom I did not know besides being "friends" on Facebook. It was not a date, but rather an attempt by her to introduce me to a multi level marketing thing. I guessed as much before I agreed to the meeting, but agreed to met her anyway, just to get some social practice, if nothing else. Indeed, she admitted she had a scheme to sell me, but politely abandoned the idea when I told her I would not be interested in any schemes, honest or otherwise. After that we both had a fun time talking over a cup of coffee.

The waitress who attended to our table was very flirty - I had seen her a few times before, and the previous time a few days ago, she was again open and friendly, with a borderline flirty smile and eye contact, and reminded me that she had seen me before.

As we were talking and drinking our coffees, the waitress again showed up and asked for my name (and hers), and I got hers as well (matched with the name on the receipt) :p. She then asked if she should call me formally or informally (the word "you" in some languages can distinguish between being adressed in a formal or informal way). She then asked if we are locals or foreigners (which was a strange question to ask, as we all spoke in our native languages), but the woman I was with reacted that she had been also living in Italy for a while, so I followed suit and told her that I had been living in Sweden for a few years. The girl then told us that she herself is 17 years old, that it is her first job and she is studying in Spain and is working as a waitress only until her school starts again. The woman then started behaving as a wingman of sorts, increasing my social proof. The girl then also asked for what we are doing (for work/living), implying that she was impressed the way I am always dressed, and with my ability (free time and resources) that I can frequent the bar almost every day, and that she had talked about me with her colleagues. Then some customers showed up at her counter and she told us that she should go and attend them, but it seemed as if she preferred to stay talking with us instead, and she said she will be back.

I also asked the waitress if she had taken a instruction on how to make the coffee herself (I had teased her on that the previous time), and she told me that she is about to receive the instruction/course right after she finishes serving us. She also told me when she will be working the next time, and when she gave us our receipts, she had written "until the next time, (and my name) :) ".

This all seems like an open invitation to ask her on a date, etc. But, I am 39 myself (albeit some people say I look 5-10 years younger), and she is just 17. What would you do in this situation? I obviously like the girl, and she has shown more grown up behavior than I have seen i some girls in their mid 20s and 30s. But the age difference, and especially that she is still 17, is a bit worrying... though I am pretty sure she will turn 18 soon. :D

Or is she just friendly? Because I tend to tip on the higher side.
 
Last edited:

Styr

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 10, 2012
Messages
107
Reaction score
26
Age
40
Location
Estonia
I’ve been preying on young waitresses, clerks, baristas… for decades. Young women don’t really have a filter so it’s pretty easy to read them. Assuming 17 is legal where you are. A 22 year age gap is not a big deal. If 17 isn’t legal where you are. Consider deleting your post.
The legal age where I am living is 16, so that is not an issue.
 

The Duke

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 4, 2008
Messages
5,610
Reaction score
8,518
Sounds too good to be true. Maybe it's a setup.
 

Hamurabimbi

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 4, 2018
Messages
3,695
Reaction score
3,159
Location
California
Sounds too good to be true. Maybe it's a setup.
OP. Do teens flirt with you on occasion? If not. Maybe some suspicion is warranted. Though. Unicorns exist.
As am example. For me getting approached happens often enough that it arouses no suspicion. However, as I illustrated in another thread, getting approached & asked to watch porn is pretty darn unusual. So. I was suspicious. The past is often the best predictor of the future.
 

Styr

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 10, 2012
Messages
107
Reaction score
26
Age
40
Location
Estonia
OP. Do teens flirt with you on occasion? If not. Maybe some suspicion is warranted. Though. Unicorns exist.
As am example. For me getting approached happens often enough that it arouses no suspicion. However, as I illustrated in another thread, getting approached & asked to watch porn is pretty darn unusual. So. I was suspicious. The past is often the best predictor of the future.
I do on occasion get the attention of girls in their early 20s (21, 22, 23, etc), and have even seen interest from at least one 17 year old (though often it is hard to tell how old they really are). If I would go outside more in the evenings and actively approach more girls, then I would most likely even more attention. I did a bit more approaching last summer, but sadly I did not escalate with most of the girls who initially showed interest and were even touchy-feely. On one occasion a girl (19-20 years old) literally jumped on me at a party in a bar. She left soon after, because she caught me off guard and I had no idea how to properly react. :D

Sounds too good to be true. Maybe it's a setup.
What kind of a setup?
 

Dr.Suave

Moderator
Joined
Mar 6, 2017
Messages
3,824
Reaction score
4,140
Go for it, bro!
 

Styr

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 10, 2012
Messages
107
Reaction score
26
Age
40
Location
Estonia
So I just saw the girl in the bar. She brought me my coffee, I asked her number, she said no (seemed to be flattered, though/obviously).

Well, some things are not meant to be. At least not today. :p
 

AmsterdamAssassin

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 4, 2023
Messages
6,642
Reaction score
5,754
What, you didn't understand the 17-year old girl was only flirting with you to diss the 30-year old woman you were with?
 

Styr

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 10, 2012
Messages
107
Reaction score
26
Age
40
Location
Estonia
What, you didn't understand the 17-year old girl was only flirting with you to diss the 30-year old woman you were with?
I guess I should bring more 30 year old women then. :D
 

manfrombelow

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 28, 2021
Messages
1,738
Reaction score
2,228
Age
35
Normally I'd leave the waitresses alone (other than some back and forth harmless bantering with them), because at the end of the day, they're there to make money, and it's their job to "wave and smile" to people.

And this waitress is 17 years old? Come one man, leave her the fvck alone, her SMV is at the highest so it's too much work anyway.
 

Styr

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 10, 2012
Messages
107
Reaction score
26
Age
40
Location
Estonia
Normally I'd leave the waitresses alone (other than some back and forth harmless bantering with them), because at the end of the day, they're there to make money, and it's their job to "wave and smile" to people.

And this waitress is 17 years old? Come one man, leave her the fvck alone, her SMV is at the highest so it's too much work anyway.
Well, no harm asking? I just raised my skill of asking a waitresses number, if nothing else. And no, I am not a desperate nice guy (at least I hope so) who is going to harass her. I respect the no, and she can see it. And she would most likely be flattered, which is also good.

As for the peak SMV, I believe it is around 35-40 for men, so I do not (logically) see any issues. But yes, a girl a few years older is likely less work, you are right about that.
 

AmsterdamAssassin

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 4, 2023
Messages
6,642
Reaction score
5,754
I guess I should bring more 30 year old women then. :D
Actually, yes. The presence of women who feel comfortable around you heightens your social proof. And engenders competition among women.
 

Dr.Suave

Moderator
Joined
Mar 6, 2017
Messages
3,824
Reaction score
4,140
So I just saw the girl in the bar. She brought me my coffee, I asked her number, she said no (seemed to be flattered, though/obviously).
While getting rejected is not ideal, its way better than spending the rest of your life wondering "What if?". You did your part. Keep it up (no pun intended)
 

FlexpertHamilton

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 10, 2020
Messages
2,720
Reaction score
3,153
Location
US
Actually, yes. The presence of women who feel comfortable around you heightens your social proof. And engenders competition among women.
Very much so. Social proof is huge, and I suspect it might even be more important with younger women.
 

I_have_BDE

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 2, 2023
Messages
539
Reaction score
242
Age
40
Normally I'd leave the waitresses alone (other than some back and forth harmless bantering with them), because at the end of the day, they're there to make money, and it's their job to "wave and smile" to people.

And this waitress is 17 years old? Come one man, leave her the fvck alone, her SMV is at the highest so it's too much work anyway.
If it's legal, why not? The downside is if she decides to turn on you she could cry RAPE and that. Young women like this will make stuff up out of spite and BOOM you're in jail. Maturity factor gotta remember too.
 

AmsterdamAssassin

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 4, 2023
Messages
6,642
Reaction score
5,754
Social proof is huge, and I suspect it might even be more important with younger women.
Yes, because younger women rely much more on the judgment of their BFFs.
 

Knight of Roses

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Apr 17, 2018
Messages
296
Reaction score
273
Age
38
If 17 is legal where you live, then go for it bro. Worst she can do is reject you.
 

AmsterdamAssassin

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 4, 2023
Messages
6,642
Reaction score
5,754
If 17 is legal where you live, then go for it bro. Worst she can do is reject you.
Actually, the worst thing would be (false) sexual harassment accusations.
 
Top