Women and empathy

CaptFinnBad

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 14, 2021
Messages
319
Reaction score
209
Age
40
Just like to here your thoughts on women and empathy.

Obviously women have empathy but I think is might be slightly different to how a man has empathy.

I might be wrong on this assumption but it come across to me is the women's ability to empathise is about how it makes them feel.

For example.... The come across a bird with a broken wing. The can show empathy, diligently and selflessly nurse it back to health. This feels good to them.

But I think without this emotion women find it hard to have empathy. Especially showing empathy to someone they have hurt or caused pain too, as to show empathy in this situation makes them feel bad, because they must perceive they have done something wrong.

So they are unable to empathise in this regard. To show empathy means accountability and this is something I rarely see from women.

Not true accountability anyways. You will hear statements like "I'm terrible mum, because of this or this", these statements are always exaggerated to enlist a response from the listener and to provide reasons she's not /stroke her ego.

This relates a lot to dating for obvious reasons.
 

CaptFinnBad

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 14, 2021
Messages
319
Reaction score
209
Age
40
Also how do you fellas stay sane whenever confronted with this?
 

Pierce Manhammer

Moderator
Joined
Jun 2, 2021
Messages
5,028
Reaction score
6,032
Location
PRC
Women generally struggle to manage when intense negative emotions like extreme anger, rage, fear, despair, or depression repeatedly consume a man. In fact, anything a woman perceives as weakness. They may want to support their man, but the extended manifestation of such emotions is difficult to endure. This unrelenting emotional turmoil erodes attraction, raises concerns about the relationship's stability, and could subconsciously push women to seek other potential partners.

This might be partly due to women's preference for more covert forms of communication, which involve subtlety and nuance rather than overt displays of intense emotion. Men's raw, unfiltered expressions of feelings may appear intimidating or overwhelming, leading to unease and discomfort.

I've mentioned that women want to say their guy is emotionally "in tune," that he's "done the work," and is a great communicator. They really don't care if you have as long as they can say you have. You might get to display some faux sensitivity once or twice a year, like being sad your friend's dog died or that you need her support when you’re going through something stressful at work. That's it, guys! Don't fall for the false advertising.

Therefore, a woman witnessing a male persistently battling such emotional distress will likely start considering a replacement expeditiously.

When men discuss or try to navigate dating, mating, or relationship problems, women often find it difficult to provide a supportive platform. They are more likely to interpret a man sharing these issues as redundant whining or a sign of bitterness. Some may attribute it to poor judgment, resulting in dismissive responses such as "You've made your bed, now lie in it" or "Buck up, nobody wants to hear you groan about it." This is why you need to keep it tight, and close to the belt.

Never talk about past relationships in detail - ever - ever - ever, there lie dragons. If you pursue a relationship with the woman you might let her pry a little here and there but still be coy, women love a mystery.
 
Last edited:

Westminster

Senior Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2023
Messages
283
Reaction score
334
Age
58
Women generally struggle to manage when intense negative emotions like extreme anger, rage, fear, despair, or depression repeatedly consume a man. In fact, anything a woman perceives as weakness. They may want to support their man, but the extended manifestation of such emotions is difficult to endure. This unrelenting emotional turmoil erodes attraction, raises concerns about the relationship's stability, and could subconsciously push women to seek other potential partners.

This might be partly due to women's preference for more covert forms of communication, which involve subtlety and nuance rather than overt displays of intense emotion. Men's raw, unfiltered expressions of feelings may appear intimidating or overwhelming, leading to unease and discomfort.

I've mentioned that women want to say their guy is emotionally "in tune," that he's "done the work," and is a great communicator. They really don't. You get to display some faux sensitivity once or twice a year, like being sad his friend's dog died or that he needs his woman's support when he's going through something stressful at work. That's it, guys! Don't fall for the false advertising.

Therefore, a woman witnessing a male persistently battling such emotional distress will likely start considering a replacement expeditiously.

When men discuss or try to navigate dating, mating, or relationship problems, women often find it difficult to provide a supportive platform. They are more likely to interpret a man sharing these issues as redundant whining or a sign of bitterness. Some may attribute it to poor judgment, resulting in dismissive responses such as "You've made your bed, now lie in it" or "Buck up, nobody wants to hear you groan about it."
Nailed it :up:

Women go on about wanting a man who's in touch with their emotions and say that men shouldn't bottle it up, etc. But, it's bull**** because, in my experience, that's not the case at all. Usually, they see you as weak if you show you're vulnerable or not coping.

You're much better being the strong silent type and keeping your troubles to yourself.
 

Pierce Manhammer

Moderator
Joined
Jun 2, 2021
Messages
5,028
Reaction score
6,032
Location
PRC
Yep, it sucks. Even more enlightened women cannot handle it, they may want to like truly get the logic, but they simply so very rarely have a good handle on their emotional state.

It’s why often they’ll say “I don’t know what the hell I was thinking!”, exactly they weren’t thinking they were reacting emotionally.

It’s like the wife that says “he never talks! We don’t have an even exchange!” for years. Then suddenly dude grabs his testicles and starts to recover his manhood and starts talking - she then wants him to shut up.
 

CaptFinnBad

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 14, 2021
Messages
319
Reaction score
209
Age
40
Women generally struggle to manage when intense negative emotions like extreme anger, rage, fear, despair, or depression repeatedly consume a man. In fact, anything a woman perceives as weakness. They may want to support their man, but the extended manifestation of such emotions is difficult to endure. This unrelenting emotional turmoil erodes attraction, raises concerns about the relationship's stability, and could subconsciously push women to seek other potential partners.

This might be partly due to women's preference for more covert forms of communication, which involve subtlety and nuance rather than overt displays of intense emotion. Men's raw, unfiltered expressions of feelings may appear intimidating or overwhelming, leading to unease and discomfort.

I've mentioned that women want to say their guy is emotionally "in tune," that he's "done the work," and is a great communicator. They really don't care if you have as long as they can say you have. You might get to display some faux sensitivity once or twice a year, like being sad your friend's dog died or that you need her support when you’re going through something stressful at work. That's it, guys! Don't fall for the false advertising.

Therefore, a woman witnessing a male persistently battling such emotional distress will likely start considering a replacement expeditiously.

When men discuss or try to navigate dating, mating, or relationship problems, women often find it difficult to provide a supportive platform. They are more likely to interpret a man sharing these issues as redundant whining or a sign of bitterness. Some may attribute it to poor judgment, resulting in dismissive responses such as "You've made your bed, now lie in it" or "Buck up, nobody wants to hear you groan about it." This is why you need to keep it tight, and close to the belt.

Never talk about past relationships in detail - ever - ever - ever, there lie dragons. If you pursue a relationship with the woman you might let her pry a little here and there but still be coy, women love a mystery.

I've definitely fallen into the trap of the false advertising. Going through genuinely rough patches where I have reached out to women I've been in a relationship with.

I never got the support I craved. It's just had an overwhelming effect on them. It's definitely a mistake to think you can depend on a women to be supportive through any mental struggles you may find yourself in.

On the flip side, things deaths in the family, things like that I've been supported through . It's never been for a long period of time (and a long period of support was unneeded).

I do suspect though if I had been affected for a long time it would have negatively impacted the relationship.


Haha i just remembered what an ex said to me :lol:. I once went to get my eyes checked (because of head aches and dizziness).

They found pressure behind my eyes and rushed me to hospital. Lots of tests on my eyes, talks about lumber punctures, brain scans e.t.c.

So yeah, things like brain tumors, cancer, death e.t.c. were on my mind that day.

My ex words on the whirlwind of the day I was having "perhaps you should consider going back home so you can be around your family as they will be able to take care of you ".

My family were 400 miles away! I was getting told this literally less than 24 hours into it! Nothing confirmed, No idea what road was Infront of me.

Anyways a few more tests later and speaking with a neurologist I was sent home with a clean bill of health and the all clear.

That's the day she died in my eyes.
 
Last edited:

Pierce Manhammer

Moderator
Joined
Jun 2, 2021
Messages
5,028
Reaction score
6,032
Location
PRC
Damn dude that’s harsh AF. They are Machiavellian as all get out. Sunshine friends. To be honest most men do it too.

Ever have say a group of “buds” you all are in the same relative career level earning ok and you hang out for months and maybe years. Suddenly something happens and say you lose your job or a health issue or some such. 8/10 of those guys will fade tf out. When the chips are down, that’s when the truth outs.

But chicks definitely take the cake on this.
 
Last edited:

CaptFinnBad

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 14, 2021
Messages
319
Reaction score
209
Age
40
Damn dude that’s harsh AF. They are Machiavellian as all get out. Sunshine friends. To be honest most men do it too.

Ever have say a group of “buds” you all are in the same relative career level earning ok and you hang out for months and maybe years. Suddenly something happens and say you lose your job or a health issue or some such. 8/10 of those guys will fade tf out. When the chips are down, that’s when the truth outs.



But chicks definitely take the cake on this.

I don't know about guys. I have a group of friends I've known since childhood. Been through thick and thin together.

They are my go to for support.

My experience of this is a little different.
 

Pierce Manhammer

Moderator
Joined
Jun 2, 2021
Messages
5,028
Reaction score
6,032
Location
PRC
I don't know about guys. I have a group of friends I've known since childhood. Been through thick and thin together.

They are my go to for support.

My experience of this is a little different.
I certainly have a couple of ride-or-die male friends, the guys that'll bail you out at 3 am on Saturday morning, no questions asked.
 

MtmVaott

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jul 2, 2022
Messages
323
Reaction score
115
Nailed it :up:

Women go on about wanting a man who's in touch with their emotions and say that men shouldn't bottle it up, etc. But, it's bull**** because, in my experience, that's not the case at all. Usually, they see you as weak if you show you're vulnerable or not coping.

You're much better being the strong silent type and keeping your troubles to yourself.
They see you as a tool if they realize you're coping. They'll go along as long as they get their needs met, but they won't have the highest respect for you.
When you 'get in touch with your emotions by going to woman to get mental support', you get a big negative feedback from her that says: 'Wrong address, b1tch!'.
Also, stoicism has to do with the personality trait of 'neuroticism', the opposite is 'emotional stability'. Being in touch with your emotions is great, because you'll get information from it. But this advice from women (and for women, not men) is to share with other women, feel relieved, and then do nothing. I think this is where so many men get stuck. You need to follow up with your goals (which are pointed out by emotions).
 

The Duke

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 4, 2008
Messages
5,592
Reaction score
8,474
A few weeks ago Someone shared a good video explaining how women interpret things differently and dont show/feel empathy like we do. It was a psychologist that had a YouTube channel and the case he shared was about his girlfriend. I will try and find it.
 

Westminster

Senior Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2023
Messages
283
Reaction score
334
Age
58
I've definitely fallen into the trap of the false advertising. Going through genuinely rough patches where I have reached out to women I've been in a relationship with.

I never got the support I craved. It's just had an overwhelming effect on them. It's definitely a mistake to think you can depend on a women to be supportive through any mental struggles you may find yourself in.

On the flip side, things deaths in the family, things like that I've been supported through . It's never been for a long period of time (and a long period of support was unneeded).

I do suspect though if I had been affected for a long time it would have negatively impacted the relationship.


Haha i just remembered what an ex said to me :lol:. I once went to get my eyes checked (because of head aches and dizziness).

They found pressure behind my eyes and rushed me to hospital. Lots of tests on my eyes, talks about lumber punctures, brain scans e.t.c.

So yeah, things like brain tumors, cancer, death e.t.c. were on my mind that day.

My ex words on the whirlwind of the day I was having "perhaps you should consider going back home so you can be around your family as they will be able to take care of you ".

My family were 400 miles away! I was getting told this literally less than 24 hours into it! Nothing confirmed, No idea what road was Infront of me.

Anyways a few more tests later and speaking with a neurologist I was sent home with a clean bill of health and the all clear.

That's the day she died in my eyes.
What a nasty ***** she must have been.
 

alvinkels

Don Juan
Joined
Nov 19, 2022
Messages
120
Reaction score
95
The lastvparalll
[QUOTE=".

When men discuss or try to na
Never talk about past relationships in detail - ever - ever - ever, there lie dragons. If you pursue a relationship with the woman you might let her pry a little here and there but still be coy, women love a mystery.
[/QUOTE]
This got me... I have fallen victim several times the fun thing I did it with plates not my woman. I guess that's why we have survived all these years the other girls they barely last a year.

Never share your past relationships with a girl.

A friend told to just say " it wasn't anything serious" and let it slide.
 

CaptFinnBad

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 14, 2021
Messages
319
Reaction score
209
Age
40
A few weeks ago Someone shared a good video explaining how women interpret things differently and dont show/feel empathy like we do. It was a psychologist that had a YouTube channel and the case he shared was about his girlfriend. I will try and find it.
Wouldn't mind seeing that video
 

Pierce Manhammer

Moderator
Joined
Jun 2, 2021
Messages
5,028
Reaction score
6,032
Location
PRC
Again they have empathy for an animal or a kid or even a plant. For men? Hahahaha omg are you for real?
 

Fruitbat

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 3, 2013
Messages
3,424
Reaction score
2,462
Women’s empathy is for their children. Don’t expect any, or sympathy for that matter.

I’ve gone through deaths of close ones with about 3 women and all 3 were superficially sympathetic but nowhere near as much as I would be.

A classic example of this is when you’re ill. It’s a running joke in the UK that women think men suffer from “man flu” - which is a joke about men over exaggerating their illness.

I have thought about this a lot as all the Women I know have weaker sick records and generally make more of it than the men I know. I always assumed as the insightful poster above said on a slightly different theme that they feel uneasy their protector is out of action and they use their chief weapon - nagging and complaining, to spur him to action.

There is a plus side to this if you think deeply. How much bulk**** have I told myself to take the easy route? I can’t do this with my wife. She will call me out on it and sometimes she’s right. Annoyingly , I don’t ever get 5 mins to feel sorry for myself, I will get nothing in the way of empathy. Long run she’s pushing you to be better, you want to worry when she’s not interested in what you’re doing and not nagging.
 

FlexpertHamilton

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 10, 2020
Messages
2,702
Reaction score
3,127
Location
US
In my experience most women have literally zero empathy, though I have dated a few women who were very nurturing and understanding, they're definitely anomolies though.

I went on a date with some girl last year who said I looked like I had a dark cloud looming over me, then 5 minutes later straight up invited me to her place to fvck.

In general you need to be Stoic and not show any signs of weakness. Being "vulnerable" isn't necessarily weak, you don't want to come off as a wounded animal (ie pity), rather a man who is simply facing adversity. It's especially effective if you don't reveal much information and keep it as a mystery, certainly if it's deeply personal you shouldn't tell them a damn thing about what's truly bothering you.
 
Last edited:

Millard Fillmore

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 9, 2023
Messages
847
Reaction score
816
I don't expect empathy from women. It's just not something I need a woman for.

A lot of men bytch about women's lack thereof but perhaps women are built a little stronger than men in this regard. They're certainly more practical. There's no need to be seeking empathy from a chick, either suck it up or find a man or clergy or something.
 
Top