Most men have options other than the swipe apps. Men that claim to have no other options are lazy and/or fall for the illusion of convenience lie of swipe apps*. I'm 40 years old. I don't need a swipe app to meet women.
Why don't I need a swipe app?
I live in one of the biggest cities/metro areas in the USA. I live in a part of that city where younger, never married women tend to live. I utilize a combination of venues for approaching women. I am mainly a day game guy and have mainly been a day game guy since reading Roosh's "Day Bang" soon after its September 2011 publication. When I read "Day Bang", I was already in my late 20s and 30 was coming soon. I had been doing night game for many years at that point in life.
Think about me in the last 5 years, as a 35+ guy. Most men who are 35-40 years old are mindlessly swiping on apps. They are vagina beggars who are going to end up settling for the most mediocre woman they meet from using a swipe app or sending DMs on Instagram who will tolerate them. I'm not that guy.
I can approach women in the real world wherever I go. Even if I didn't approach women in non-bar venues, I could go to bars multiple nights a week and approach women in bars. I could go to pool parties if I wanted to do that**.
This shows me that your inner game is off as well. My sense is that you don't have healthy lifestyle habits that are crucial parts of being able to game. I do not watch porn, masturbate, I have an exercise routine, and I avoid processed foods as much as possible. If you avoid porn and masturbation, you are going to be so horny and more aggressive in general. This is good. This will give you the motivation to start interactions with women.
In part due to my lifestyle habits, I can walk outdoors on a walking path, see a woman where I have an opportunity to deliver a good opener, open her, and have some sort of conversation with her. The conversation can go nowhere, but I can be a late 30s/early 40s guy opening 22-24 year olds. This has happened. I don't even have a top tier male physique. Most people would say I'm a 6.5-7 in looks. I'm 5'10" so I'm below the magical 6'0" threshold that women in the United States desire.
Too many men are sedating themselves with some combination of porn, masturbation, video games, marijuana, and excessive alcohol consumption.
Tell me why cold approach won't work for you.
Cold approach is not an easy path. A lot of women use earbuds/headphones to deter approaches in the gym and outdoors. Indoor masking ruined indoor retail game for at least 2 years, but indoor retail game started to open up again in the 2nd half of 2022. Indoor retail game has been back for a year now, which is good. The majority of people are in some sort of relationship at any given time so there are times you'll be doing approaches on women with boyfriends and possibly even husbands if you aren't careful and don't do ring checks with a quick hand glance before approaching***. Most women with boyfriends will be disinterested in your approach. If you have social skills, you'll notice the disinterest, the conversation will go nowhere, and you won't even ask her out. You'll never know if she has a boyfriend and that will be annoying. Occasionally, you'll ask out and she'll claim to have a boyfriend. I recommend using a boyfriend destroyer line (Google them) in most of those situations because a lot of times either the boyfriend is fake or the relationship is mediocre-subpar and the woman is willing to monkey branch to you if you show enough value. Delivering a boyfriend destroyer line is a demonstration of value.
Cold approach is very time consuming. Read the
@Jesse Pinkman approach thread below for an example of how time consuming it may be. If you're starting a cold approach journey with 0 options right now, you'll probably looking at doing an approach session multiple days a week in order to start arranging some dates. If that's too overwhelming, you could use the Roosh method of one approach per day. In May 2013, former PUA Roosh wrote an article promoting the idea that it was wise for seducers to do at least one daily approach (see below). If you don't want to do dedicated approach sessions, you could do something like a one approach every day tactic.
So I thought that since I am going out and approaching so much, why not post a field report thread. Yeah, it is a little over 3 AM and I am posting this but whatever. Hate to post a new thread every time I go out and do approaches so I will just keep bumping this one (until mods make an official...
www.sosuave.net
You also say that social circle game won't work for you. Why is that? I have never had a social circle capable of introducing me to women for dates, so I have had to rely on other methods as well. This has mostly been the result of childhood and early adulthood relocations. Even though I've been in my current city for a while, I've never been able to get into the good social circles in my city.
My city is a transplant heavy city. A good portion of the transplants are married couples with families who settle in the suburbs. That won't affect most singles unless you feel like hunting for bored married women, which isn't easy to do.
Because social circles tend to be weaker, people aren't closed off in my city. Stranger approaches are usually at least cordial and there isn't any hostility to outsiders, unlike some other areas of the USA. The rootless nature of a lot of transplanted adults in my city leads to a lot of app-based dating, which puts men in a more difficult position. The better play is to approach strangers and join in on whatever in-person events that you can attend.
The weak social circles do contribute to my city's pretentious reputation. Because a lot of people are meeting strangers, there are no consequences for bad behavior. When there's no attachment, women can be as superficial as they please.
Getting into one of the social circles with my city's natives with strong roots isn't that easy to do. Most transplanted adults to my city won't get into those or they will be on the fringes of them. Some of those people have been my co-workers at various jobs over the years but not people I spent much time with during leisure time periods in my life.
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* The illusion of convenience for swipe apps is easy to follow. It feels a lot easier to sit at home and swipe as compared to showering, get dressed, possibly driving somewhere, and going out into the real world for 1-3 hours and trying to approach people. It can be deflating to go to a walking path in a major city for 2 hours and see 0 viable approach or making a few approaches and get zero numbers/arrange 0 dates.
** - Commercialized pool parties tend to be sausage fests. It's the worst aspects of night game during the day. Also, you're going to want to have a top tier physique to succeed at pool parties with the terrible ratios. See thread below.
After using the Search function here, I realize that there hasn't been a lot of discussion about getting laid as a result of going to pool parties. The lay doesn't have to happen on the same day as the pool party, but at some time after meeting a woman at a pool party. Let me be more specific...
www.sosuave.net
*** -- When I do indoor retail game approaching, I tend to look at women's hands briefly in order to avoid approaching a married woman. This has saved me from doing many approaches over time. I do most of my approaches in areas of my city with a high concentration of unmarried women. However, while my primary mall for approaching is near an area where mostly unmarried women live, there are plenty of married women who visit this mall.
