Here’s a summary of what I ended up doing.
I said, remember you told me we were both learning and growing in this relationship, I could use your help. So she goes yes I do and she’s not tense which is good. I say look, I feel like R’s interaction felt excessive the other night but I am so fresh to this what do you think? And she started putting the pieces together herself under that line of questioning.
She said he is like that with everyone but in hindsight it was excessive and she can’t imagine anyone else acting that way, and what an embarrassment it also was to his girl. Asked if I think she was out of line and I was like, I’m not going to tell you what to do, how did you feel it went? And she said well if the shoe was on the other foot she really would not have appreciated it. She said you know I wish in the moment you would have pointed it out to me. And I said you know, honestly I wasn’t going to tell you how to live, however in the past I would have not taken that situation well but I have kids I need to consider now and I thought it made sense to say less until I cooled down, and it was fathers day so I didn’t want to bring it up that morning on the drive back. She was like I appreciated that I saw you put your arm around him at the fire pit.
She said moving forward if a situation exists again she will end it, and if it doesn’t end on the other parties side after she asks,then I have every right to do what I have to do. So I said I agree, the only reason for violence would be in defense and I’m always there if she needs me.
So I am happy with the way I handled it, kept my cool and I think I got her to put it together herself which is always how you want to pursuade someone. And if not, we’ll than that’s that. I said my peace. But I’m happy with it.I like her and I think we both are figuring it out and that works forme.
