Work affair 45 vs 26 years old

[Mazer]

Problems ahead.
You're married with a family
She's a coworker
She has a boyfriend
She is weird.

I don't understand why you put yourself in such a ****ty situation, it smells bad.

Exactly. He is even getting laid.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Great feedback bro.

I clarify since the beginning I acted enjoyable, not arrogant.

Yes, I have had work girlfriends and with different approaches and outcomes, but in this specific case, that is the exact situation, after work hours, I don't get any text or reply at all, everything is paused until next day at office. Really sucks, I'm not a toy.

Regarding the options in the future, also agree, this girl is dancing around, I don't get the reason of why she acts like you said, if she is in a somehow new/shallow relationship with her average bf, that is not enough to even haver sexually satisfied (because she is looking for me), why she has such a behavior instead of looking for such options in the present, since there they are, and on the contrary, she prefers to keep the same situation, jeopardizing a potential better relationship if I send her away.

From my end, the sooner the better because I have to determine if I have to make some room for her in my daily schedule/life and if it's worthy, before my family arrives to live with me.

Also, waiting for her to split up seems like having the leftovers of her bf.

When I go ghost, first is a battle for power, she ignores me (in private) acts cool (in public), and if I keep ignoring her, after some hours she makes a small talk comment, and eventually she tells me not to be mad at her, without even realizing or acknowledging why I treat her like that, she wants to return to the usual communication with me, which she tries to control by the way.

I don't think that I have acted on ego nor self confidence lately, since I had a rough time that I 'm barely starting to leave behind.

Thanks bro

I think this girl has a daddy fantasy

 

[Alpha Demon]

I think this girl has a daddy fantasy

Ouch!

 

[Hal9000]

If you sex her up then what? You give up the rest of your life? She gets you fired the first time you make her mad? There is only downside just to get a piece of young strange.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

If you sex her up then what? You give up the rest of your life? She gets you fired the first time you make her mad? There is only downside just to get a piece of young strange.

OP just moved to a beach town and summer is coming. Get an escort and then hit the beach, forget about the work girl. Being in a bad place mentally can cloud your thinking. There's still time to play before the fam arrives.

 

[Alpha Demon]

If you sex her up then what? You give up the rest of your life? She gets you fired the first time you make her mad? There is only downside just to get a piece of young strange.

In principle I thought that if I really liked her I could manage to have her as a lover, I have done that some times in the past and it has worked for me for some months and even years, it's not just sex, it also has an important emotional element that makes it a great experience that I definitive love.

The idea was to taste the things while I'm living alone, and that's why I have not been more patient like I have been in the past, I want to seize the time.

 

[Alpha Demon]

OP just moved to a beach town and summer is coming. Get an escort and then hit the beach, forget about the work girl. Being in a bad place mentally can cloud your thinking. There's still time to play before the fam arrives.

I definitely like the way you think!
However I still have this little demon talking to my ear, making this forbidden and hard to reach fruit, very sweet and juicy.

 

[Alpha Demon]

A quick update.
Your thoughts are very welcome...
Last week I decreased substantially the text communications, and this girl asked me about it,
I told her that this was an issue that can not be discussed in a chat, it had to be in person (I planned on escalating or ghosting).
She told me we could see each other on Monday (Yesterday), she texted me on Saturday about an event, and stopped writing, I left her like that...

Yesterday I was cool but distant, I went to say hello (lately I say hello with she standing up, giving me a big hug, boobs pressed against my chest, my hands in her waist and a direct and paused kiss on her cheek), but I avoided chatting more than necessary.

She texted me and I replied cold and short, and she stopped writing.
I went for lunch with my boss and when I returned I Texted, are we meeting today?

She told me, Have you bought my ticket for the show?
I said, No, I don't buy relationships (she has never asked me to buy or get anything)

She wrote (joking) ok, well were not seeing us today and stoped writing...
after five minutes I texted, that's bull****

She replied lol you don't want to make jokes...

That is the last communication we had.

Today we didn't say hello, and after kind of looking at me a couple of times to check if I looked back (which I didn't) she started avoiding me and avoid crossing looks with me.
Zero coolness (she usually is or fake it), even a couple of times we were face to face she looked down or away, trying to avoid me but also trying to avoid looking upset in public.

After work we both left at the same time, and we parked next each other, she rushed to her car, and I just said hello and bye and called her by her name, without looking at me she only said bye, but she looked really pissed/upset.

I don't quite get it, she kind of ditched me, I ignored her but not dramatically, simply no special hello or special treatment, acting as cool as I could around. I'm the one who should act (and I'm) pissed, and she is the one who really was mad, avoiding looking at me (almost hiding) in public, even when she is usually "Ms coolness, nothing upsets me".
Any thoughts?

 

[BillyPilgrim]

A quick update.
Your thoughts are very welcome...
Last week I decreased substantially the text communications, and this girl asked me about it,
I told her that this was an issue that can not be discussed in a chat, it had to be in person (I planned on escalating or ghosting).
She told me we could see each other on Monday (Yesterday), she texted me on Saturday about an event, and stopped writing, I left her like that...

Yesterday I was cool but distant, I went to say hello (lately I say hello with she standing up, giving me a big hug, boobs pressed against my chest, my hands in her waist and a direct and paused kiss on her cheek), but I avoided chatting more than necessary.

She texted me and I replied cold and short, and she stopped writing.
I went for lunch with my boss and when I returned I Texted, are we meeting today?

She told me, Have you bought my ticket for the show?
I said, No, I don't buy relationships (she has never asked me to buy or get anything)

She wrote (joking) ok, well were not seeing us today and stoped writing...
after five minutes I texted, that's bull****

She replied lol you don't want to make jokes...

That is the last communication we had.

Today we didn't say hello, and after kind of looking at me a couple of times to check if I looked back (which I didn't) she started avoiding me and avoid crossing looks with me.
Zero coolness (she usually is or fake it), even a couple of times we were face to face she looked down or away, trying to avoid me but also trying to avoid looking upset in public.

After work we both left at the same time, and we parked next each other, she rushed to her car, and I just said hello and bye and called her by her name, without looking at me she only said bye, but she looked really pissed/upset.

I don't quite get it, she kind of ditched me, I ignored her but not dramatically, simply no special hello or special treatment, acting as cool as I could around. I'm the one who should act (and I'm) pissed, and she is the one who really was mad, avoiding looking at me (almost hiding) in public, even when she is usually "Ms coolness, nothing upsets me".
Any thoughts?

She's entitled af and spoiled by the attention you've given her which hasn't resulted in sex

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Where in the country are you OP? Which beach town...

 

[BillyPilgrim]

You like this song OP? Snazzy little tune. It's better to look out for #1 than #2. Remember to look out for #1.

 

[Fruitbat]

She wanted the attention and to know she could have you.

she’s got it and is now disinterested.

echo What everyone else said about the risks. She’s trash for a start.

 

[Alpha Demon]

I admit I have some emotions for her (besides sex attraction), otherwise I wouldn't be writing right now.

What to expect next?

This week I was thinking to ask a below the average girl (not pretty) at work to join me in a friendly manner (just that) to have some quick lunch at some food truck nearby. I bet "my friend" would be really mad to be "replaced" in attention by another girl, mainly when she is not a hot girl, since I would be treating them in similar manners.

Besides having her pissed, I can't predict what's coming next.

 

[xavier_2000]

Bro.... The writing is on the wall lol

Invite her over to your place and smash.

Skip the formalities. Just be straight up.

She's not looking for a boyfriend. And if you're looking for a wife or "girlfriend" that's not happening.

Like dude where the hell is your backbone rn... You're letting her dictate the rules still

"Whatever you say" "Okay matriarch" "Yes I'll take that"

I'm judging you hard rn cause you're married man. Stop playing with people's heart like that. You're running from the hard truths right now

In my culture you can have 4 wives. And the way it works is the honesty that you have 4 wives. Girls are cool with sharing you or knowing you smash other girls lol. They hate the dishonesty and lies.

Honesty. Respect. Trust. If any of them are gone there is no relationship.

 

[xavier_2000]

This week I was thinking to ask a below the average girl (not pretty) at work to join me in a friendly manner (just that) to have some quick lunch at some food truck nearby. I bet "my friend" would be really mad to be "replaced" in attention by another girl, mainly when she is not a hot girl, since I would be treating them in similar manners.

Besides having her pissed, I can't predict what's coming next.

... you're 45?

Im done lmao.

 

[Ricky]

Bro.... The writing is on the wall lol

Invite her over to your place and smash.

Skip the formalities. Just be straight up.

She's not looking for a boyfriend. And if you're looking for a wife or "girlfriend" that's not happening.

Like dude where the hell is your backbone rn... You're letting her dictate the rules still

"Whatever you say" "Okay matriarch" "Yes I'll take that"

I'm judging you hard rn cause you're married man. Stop playing with people's heart like that. You're running from the hard truths right now

In my culture you can have 4 wives. And the way it works is the honesty that you have 4 wives. Girls are cool with sharing you or knowing you smash other girls lol. They hate the dishonesty and lies.

Honesty. Respect. Trust. If any of them are gone there is no relationship.

What culture is this.. i need to convert

 

[xavier_2000]

What culture is this.. i need to convert

East African,

My grandad had like 6 wives but 2 died

But tbh man. Girls are cool with sharing a guy.

Monogamy is just a social programming wired into you. It's unnatural for men.

For ex... A girl will never give a threesome to one guy, but will offer it immediately as a "benefit" to attract and keep a Celebrity.

In history Kings had concubines lol. Harems. It was very natural thing to happen.

Only peasant dudes had the one wife rule cause they couldn't provide nor have the status.

 

[xavier_2000]

Reason why lying is ugly as hell is...

1. Because it implies you're a liar
2. You don't have the balls to speak your truth
3. You're scared to lose her

She's not mad you cheated... She's profoundly hurt that she fell for a loser who's a pretender, dishonest, and needy.

It's like the anime...

You went from:


To this:

 

[Alpha Demon]

Bro.... The writing is on the wall lol

Invite her over to your place and smash.

Skip the formalities. Just be straight up.

She's not looking for a boyfriend. And if you're looking for a wife or "girlfriend" that's not happening.

Like dude where the hell is your backbone rn... You're letting her dictate the rules still

"Whatever you say" "Okay matriarch" "Yes I'll take that"

I'm judging you hard rn cause you're married man. Stop playing with people's heart like that. You're running from the hard truths right now

In my culture you can have 4 wives. And the way it works is the honesty that you have 4 wives. Girls are cool with sharing you or knowing you smash other girls lol. They hate the dishonesty and lies.

Honesty. Respect. Trust. If any of them are gone there is no relationship.

She knows I'm married.

 

[Alpha Demon]

What culture is this.. i need to convert

You have the benefits, but also the obligations...