Thrill of the hunt or LTR? There is an option C

[parabellum]

Test drive a couple of girls, choose the one you think will be best for having a family, have one or two kids (biological purpose check), if you care then invest on raising them and giving them a chance to be better people than you are, and that’s it. Move on from your partner (plan accordingly), stay in touch with kids, if you want to repeat then repeat, or just focus on yourself.

It is interesting that this option doesn’t get a great rep. Not to say this is a new thing, it’s been going on forever I’m sure. But the fact of preparing for this outcome from the beginning is what I’m focusing on.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Test drive a couple of girls, choose the one you think will be best for having a family, have one or two kids (biological purpose check), if you care then invest on raising them and giving them a chance to be better people than you are, and that’s it. Move on from your partner (plan accordingly), stay in touch with kids, if you want to repeat then repeat, or just focus on yourself.

It is interesting that this option doesn’t get a great rep. Not to say this is a new thing, it’s been going on forever I’m sure. But the fact of preparing for this outcome from the beginning is what I’m focusing on.

Gee, maybe because it's not ideal for the kids?

 

[MatureDJ]

Test drive a couple of girls, choose the one you think will be best for having a family, have one or two kids (biological purpose check), if you care then invest on raising them and giving them a chance to be better people than you are, and that’s it. Move on from your partner (plan accordingly), stay in touch with kids, if you want to repeat then repeat, or just focus on yourself.

It is interesting that this option doesn’t get a great rep. Not to say this is a new thing, it’s been going on forever I’m sure. But the fact of preparing for this outcome from the beginning is what I’m focusing on.

This is a logical fallacy - you presume there is the easy ability to go on "test drives" in the first place.

 

[RazorRambo24]

This is horrible advice. Never have kids unless you're willing and able to stay in their life and give them a household that has both their parents in a loving relationship.. The negative effects that happen when a kid is raised in a split parenthood is just awful. Worse when one of the parents isn't there much if at all.

 

[parabellum]

Good discussion. I’ve tried to comment on your thoughts:

Stringpuller

Just to make sure we are clear, what I am referring to is to "Self-Aware" Serial Monogamy. Again, nothing new, and clearly sustainable for society. (further reading: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monogamy)

My point here is that in the past, I think people have gotten into Serial Monogamy without realizing it, just find themselves miserable and desperate down the road. But what if you actively prepare for it?

The ‘new member’ comment was probably unnecessary. This is just a topic of discussion like everything else.

LARaider85

I completely see your point about the kids. That is why I would agree that if someone is to do this, the better if the person commits to a certain number of parental care years. Say 10 years, say 15 years, it could be even 25 if you want. But again, all within the original plan.

About the woman, well, in all fairness they don't know/(do they care?) how men would read when they are the ones initiating the break up. Moreover, in these modern times, I dare to say , if you don't want to, you don't need to make this plan alone, it could be something shared with your couple too.

BillyPilgrim

Agreed. This can be solved by including X number of parental care years in the mentioned plan. I would think that any young adult would understand such decision. It is a cruel world out there, and Disney live happy forever after ideals are clearly not a good depiction of the real world.

MatureDJ

I didn’t say it was easy. But I believe is completely achievable for the average man that has his life somewhat together.

RazorRambo

Related to LARaider85 and BillyPilgrim comments. I recognize that I did not elaborate much on this, on purpose. After all, some people choose to care, some people don’t.

If you care, then you could bypass this problem including X number of parental care years that you deem necessary, then proceed.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Some things I am trying to get across here, is that a plan like this might work to

a) provide stability and peace of mind to have a family, probably lacking if you stay in “thrill of the hunt” mode

b) save you the problems of “love wearing off” as the years go by.

c) remain in frame, don't get too comfortable, never see game as not necessary anymore

General consensus is that attraction and love will go away, and will get replaced by routine and some shared interests in the best of the cases.

Also, if you are getting into a, or end up staying into a LTR because of money, property, status and whatever else, then that is another story.

 

[kavi]

Polygamy is the answer.

Also i am seeing a lot of 'men' around me (and i use the term loosely) who are very attached to their young female child.

By bro and cousin both mid 30s one divorced one nearly separated both have little other meaning in their lives and super attached to their daughters aged 3-5.

It seems these men drank the nuclear family cool ade, got too attached to 'their' children, the wife used that to keep the child aka courts which scared the men into becoming super attached to their daughters.

This week my bro spent like 5 days looking after his daughter at his house while his wife is just working and doing her thing while he does all the childcare.

Men need to remember neither women nor children are yours it is simply your turn to look after.

At the end of the day the girl will grow up and look for a real man aka pimp or community leader and forget every irrelevant thing normie beta male father taught them.

And a generation of fathers of our generation will be left with nothing in older age. Serves them right to think anything belongs to them.

 

[kavi]

Another thing from cousin who got divorced and now recently remarried. He had to fighrt to keep access to his young daughter 3-4 yrs of age.

We went out to eat and he was telling my other cousin
"You knw its weird by but she listens to and respects women much more than men. When i tell her something she dont do it but when a women says something to her she listens straight away"

I didnt bother to explain to my cousin that the young girl if 3-4 already is game-aware and only sees her father as someone to be manipulated. She can already see how the women in her life inc mother are playing her father, who to her is just another needy beta male who doesnt get it and seems to need her more than she needs him. She has already lost respect for him and learning from the women around her only sees him as a male to be manipulated and her own identity as a female further developing by such early observations.

 

[SW15]

There are 2 Caleb Jones articles that address the ideas from @parabellum

Although these articles were written in 2015 and 2014, they have aged well.

The Only 9 Options for Men as They Age - Alpha Male 2.0

-By Caleb Jones As I’ve discussed before, most men, even Alpha Males, have no intention on being players for the rest of their lives. At some point, even the horniest players will want to “settle down” in some form or fashion. Today I’m going to...

alphamale20.com

Thrill of the Hunt Men vs. Pleasure of Sex Men - Alpha Male 2.0

-By Caleb Jones This is such a big topic that it will likely be the first of several posts I make about this. This will clear up a lot of confusion you may have regarding conflicting advice in the seduction realm. Few men are aware that...

alphamale20.com

 

[parabellum]

@SW15
Thanks for the references, he addresses the idea of self-aware serial monogamy, as well as other possible options. As a side comment: I am wary of the fact that he gives drama such a negative connotation, when in my opinion, 1) small amounts of controlled drama actually helps you to attract and keep women around. 2) You cannot really avoid all drama in your life. There will always be some.

If we can rescue anything that my original post is proposing or better yet, reinforcing, echoing: no matter what type of relationship you go into, enjoy the ride, but always have an exit plan.

@kavi
I can see how polygamy is an attractive option. Probably the most relaxed version would be international polygamy, for those who travel a lot.

I've played with polygamy a little bit, with the downside that it has been only with girls from my social circles, that end up trending towards "exclusivity". It is interesting that even when I've been open about the fact I am seeing other people, they say they accept it, however they start pushing asking directly for exclusivity after a certain amount of time, or even more amusing, they start telling you that they feel insecure/depressed about it, etc. which is just another version of pushing for exclusivity.

 

[FlirtLife]

LARaider85

I completely see your point about the kids. That is why I would agree that if someone is to do this, the better if the person commits to a certain number of parental care years. Say 10 years, say 15 years, it could be even 25 if you want. But again, all within the original plan.

You mention "commits to .. parental care years. Say 10 years ... even 25" in a thread you titled "Thrill of the hunt or LTR? There is an option C". "option C" sounds a lot like marrige today. Maybe you're arguing for a marriage expiration date after 10-25 years?

"Separation from a parent during childhood was associated with elevated risk for subsequent violent offending versus those who lived continuously with both parents" [1]. You can see the impact on children in crime rates - but that impact decreases with age of the child [1]. Meaning a father who sticks around 10-15 years may have less impact on the child compared to a father who was absent the entire time.

That said, I have trouble beliving a guy can just "hold frame" for "15 years" when he wants a divorce the entire time.


[1]

Separation from a parent during childhood was associated with elevated risk for subsequent violent offending versus those who lived continuously with both parents
...
Separation from a father for the first time at a younger age was associated with higher risks than if paternal separation first occurred at an older age

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6057277/

 

[Murk]

So funny when childless socially inept weirdos tell others how to be fathers/parents. Idiots.

 

[parabellum]

@Murk

I come here with the hope of engaging people in discussion.

Because I know I am not the best communicator, let me try it one more time.

Let's assume that a given man:

1) is not a "blue pill" man

2) get to the age (whatever that may be for you) where you want to have at least one kid

3) does not want to be distracted by "chasing tail" while his woman of choice is pregnant, want to have a nuclear family to support his kid for the first years of the kid

4) related to 1) hes aware that pure monogamy is a thing of the past, as well as he thinks that kids should face this changing world realities sooner than later in life

What are this man options?

The lesser evil options my limited experience can think of are:

a) eat your beliefs and commit to pure monogamy in benefit of trying to give your child the most extended nuclear family care possible

b) From the very beginning, plan to commit for a limited amount of time. You can call it self-aware serial monogamy or as @FlirtLife said, a marriage with a pre-set expiration date.

I don't pretend that 1-4) are flawless, which is exactly why I decided to post here. I think you would agree with me that this is a topic that does not get much discussion, which made me wonder, is it because 1) I am being stupid and I should know better? or 2) is one of these topics no one likes to talk about it because of its controversial ramifications? or perhaps even 3) most men choose option a) when the time comes and leave sosuave forever after

Looking forward to continuing reading your opinions.

 

[Gamisch]

@Murk

I come here with the hope of engaging people in discussion.

Because I know I am not the best communicator, let me try it one more time.

Let's assume that a given man:

1) is not a "blue pill" man

2) get to the age (whatever that may be for you) where you want to have at least one kid

3) does not want to be distracted by "chasing tail" while his woman of choice is pregnant, want to have a nuclear family to support his kid for the first years of the kid

4) related to 1) hes aware that pure monogamy is a thing of the past, as well as he thinks that kids should face this changing world realities sooner than later in life

What are this man options?

The lesser evil options my limited experience can think of are:

a) eat your beliefs and commit to pure monogamy in benefit of trying to give your child the most extended nuclear family care possible

b) From the very beginning, plan to commit for a limited amount of time. You can call it self-aware serial monogamy or as @FlirtLife said, a marriage with a pre-set expiration date.

I don't pretend that 1-4) are flawless, which is exactly why I decided to post here. I think you would agree with me that this is a topic that does not get much discussion, which made me wonder, is it because 1) I am being stupid and I should know better? or 2) is one of these topics no one likes to talk about it because of its controversial ramifications? or perhaps even 3) most men choose option a) when the time comes and leave sosuave forever after

Looking forward to continuing reading your opinions.

My problem with this is your stance on the nuclear family.

Women nowadays don't care about the nuclear family anymore. Almost every woman you'll meet will be down to F without protection, thus opening up the chance she'll end up pregnant. And oke, realistically most relationships don't last anyway, so it (hypothetically)doesnt matter to them whether you or me will be the father.

Its a matter of luck I geuss. You'll have to meet one that would make a good mother rather than a good wife, because at some point you'll separate anyway...

I've learned that a man whose chasing all of the things you described is fecked from the get go, unless he lives in a society where the nuclear family is stimulated . Dating with the idea of finding a unicorn is not a good place to be .

In my life I've already encountered four women that asked me to impregnate them. All of them were end 20 begin 30 when this happened

Its an option but longterm not sustainable for society. As it shows.
Funny part is the stuff you "new members" come up with bustin in the door.

i get the feeling that this "new member "been around for a long time..( @Zimbabwe ) .

 

[Bingo-Player]

Relationships & Kids when you are young are dumb and make no sense

Why would you waste your best years basically doing crap you will be doing in your retirement anyway

The amount of couples i know in their late 20's / early 30's that are ALREADY just going through the motions is absolutely unbelieveable

they all look dead inside , they are all overweight and out of shape none of them can be bothered to do anything anymore

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As a man if your smart you can have the best of all worlds , you can sleep with and date multiple women throughout your peak age range 25-35 you don't HAVE to commit you just need to be careful / tactful

i had a few relationships in my 20's and one thing i will note is that i was CONSTANTLY thinking about sleeping with other women or what it would be like to sleep with other women that i saw out and about

When i go out with my freinds now who are all in ramshackle convinienceships they are drooling over random women

I'm just thinking boys wtf are you doing , theres so much pu$$y and adventures to explore ........you know like them dirty morning sex sessions with a new hot girl your dating

She's desperate to impress you so will have the nicest lingerie and underwear on all the time for you

You ain't getting that from your missus 3 years down the LTR line , you will be lucky if she still brushes her hair .....

 

[Kotaix]

Test drive a couple of girls, choose the one you think will be best for having a family, have one or two kids (biological purpose check), if you care then invest on raising them and giving them a chance to be better people than you are, and that’s it. Move on from your partner (plan accordingly), stay in touch with kids, if you want to repeat then repeat, or just focus on yourself.

It is interesting that this option doesn’t get a great rep. Not to say this is a new thing, it’s been going on forever I’m sure. But the fact of preparing for this outcome from the beginning is what I’m focusing on.

At what point do you "move on"? When they're 18 and out of the house? And you want to repeat it again after that?

If you move on before that point you will invalidate giving them a chance to be better people than you are.

 

[Dr.Suave]

In my life I've already encountered four women that asked me to impregnate them.

D@mn, bro. How did you handle them?

 

[ThisIsSparta]

Test drive a couple of girls, choose the one you think will be best for having a family, have one or two kids (biological purpose check), if you care then invest on raising them and giving them a chance to be better people than you are, and that’s it. Move on from your partner (plan accordingly), stay in touch with kids, if you want to repeat then repeat, or just focus on yourself.

It is interesting that this option doesn’t get a great rep. Not to say this is a new thing, it’s been going on forever I’m sure. But the fact of preparing for this outcome from the beginning is what I’m focusing on.

Well thats all VERY theoretical..... coming from one that hasnt been there and hasnt done that.

I dont know how old you are, but at some point in life, new pvssy is not as important anymore as seeing your kid/s (which hopefully love you) every day.

You know, you have to be around for quite some years to make an impact on the kid and to bind it to you.
If you pizz off after 3 years, the kid will just forget you and you will be the stranger that comes by every couple of weeks.
Thats IF the woman doesnt work against you .... she might also move away, get a beta provider, have another kid, doesnt want you around anymore, makes it hard for you. She can influence the kid so it doesnt care about you any more or even doesnt want to see you. Etc.etc.

In short, you CAN NOT count on having the kid in your life if you leave it after a few years.

My kid is 6 and in the first years i went from bluepilled to redpilled as my wife went crazy once she had the ring and kid combo.

I studied a lot of redpill content and was able to get her under control to a degree that life with her is okay.
Would i like to hunt down a new pvssy every couple of months? Of course! Would my life be better being single.... yes!
But then.... my life wouldnt be better without having my kid around every day.
So, for the sake of my kid, i have to put up with this situation for more years and i dont know yet how much more.

While you still have an impact on them in their early years, in the end they are still all focused on mommy and you mean "shyt" compared to mommy. Dont get me wrong, they still can love you but mommy is everything until the kid starts cutting the cord and becomes "independant" and less influencable.


If you think you can be around for 3 years and then jump the nex pvssy, expecting your kid to wipe your azz when you are 89, you are in for a surprise. Be prepared to invest 10-12 years at least and still there will be no guarantee they will be around when you get old.

Everything you wrote is theoretical with no practical background. Its a plan, yes ..... but everbody has a plan until he gets punched in the face, as Mike Tyson put it.

 

[kavi]

Nah its not a childs job to wipe old parents ass. Die in dignity when the time comes, life is not about fear. Be fearless like an animal and live the real life.

 

[ThisIsSparta]

Nah its not a childs job to wipe old parents ass. Die in dignity when the time comes, life is not about fear. Be fearless like an animal and live the real life.

Well, you know..... someone is going to wipe your ass or you better make sure you die early enough. Wisdom about dignity in old age and dying from (again) one that hasnt been there and hasnt done both.

If you think animals fear nothing, you clearly know nothing about animals either.

Asides from that, the man who fears nothing is the man that has nothing of worth to lose and nothing of worth to live for.

Enlighten us about what "the real life" is, please.

 

[Epicwinguy]

Its an option but longterm not sustainable for society. As it shows.
Funny part is the stuff you "new members" come up with bustin in the door.

Wait, why do you care about what is sustainable for society at large? The world seems headed in one direction it seems and it doesn't look like we can really throw it in reverse or even stop it.