when a girl says "yeah just text me"

[PlatoPacks23]

So talking with this girl I see in a class today.. it was decent and it turned out another girl I was talking to said a lot of them were going out for drinks after class.. but I couldn't make it bc of a work thing unfort. I then talked w her about it and she said she'd let me know next time they go out for something...some of it was jumbled but I ALMOST thought she said the word date but I'm reallly not 100% sure.

I then asked her what she was doing this weekend and she said she was dog-sitting on saturday and pretty free sunday. I sadi there's a smootihe place I like if she'd want to hang sunday and she said, "yeah just text me" ... which I am not sure how good that is. I also know she's going out tonight so woulnd't text her till tomorrow at earliest.

Would you recommend me asking her out tomorrow (Friday) for Sunday plans, or just pass/skip it till next week and try to meet up in a larger group setting? even if she says "no" or makes an excuse for Sunday I don't think it's totally over just might need some more comfort or group time. I don't know, my biggest issue is I don't want this thing dragging for months on end with no resolution.

Like if she says "no" once then I'll wait and just add value for 2 or so weeks and then if she says "no" again then I know it's over .

 

[forcerecon01]

So talking with this girl I see in a class today.. it was decent and it turned out another girl I was talking to said a lot of them were going out for drinks after class.. but I couldn't make it bc of a work thing unfort. I then talked w her about it and she said she'd let me know next time they go out for something...some of it was jumbled but I ALMOST thought she said the word date but I'm reallly not 100% sure.

I then asked her what she was doing this weekend and she said she was dog-sitting on saturday and pretty free sunday. I sadi there's a smootihe place I like if she'd want to hang sunday and she said, "yeah just text me" ... which I am not sure how good that is. I also know she's going out tonight so woulnd't text her till tomorrow at earliest.

Would you recommend me asking her out tomorrow (Friday) for Sunday plans, or just pass/skip it till next week and try to meet up in a larger group setting? even if she says "no" or makes an excuse for Sunday I don't think it's totally over just might need some more comfort or group time. I don't know, my biggest issue is I don't want this thing dragging for months on end with no resolution.

Like if she says "no" once then I'll wait and just add value for 2 or so weeks and then if she says "no" again then I know it's over .

It's your call but Sunday is a day of rest too though

 

[RazorRambo24]

Going out to get a smoothie or something should be impromptu.. it snot a big deal, no need to really "plan" lol. When I'm busy and someone plans some insignificant/not super important thing the same week, I say the same thing "yeah jus text me then"

Now if it was like an actual date and u told her "i want to take you out somewhere special,.. its a surprise though.. pick out a nice dressy outfit" its different..

 

[PlatoPacks23]

Going out to get a smoothie or something should be impromptu.. it snot a big deal, no need to really "plan" lol. When I'm busy and someone plans some insignificant/not super important thing the same week, I say the same thing "yeah jus text me then"

Now if it was like an actual date and u told her "i want to take you out somewhere special,.. its a surprise though.. pick out a nice dressy outfit" its different..

ok so would it be weird to message her on Friday afternoon about it for Sunday afternoon?

 

[PlatoPacks23]

It's your call but Sunday is a day of rest too though

well I'd definitely not text tomorrow for Saturday.. and she said she was busy then. So what would you recommend?

 

[RazorRambo24]

ok so would it be weird to message her on Friday afternoon about it for Sunday afternoon?

Yeah it makes no sense its just a smoothie. It makes you seem too eager.. Just hit her up on Sunday and be like "im bout to go grab a smoothie after i get done with <whatever you're doing>, you still down to hang? ill call you after <x> pm, do you want me to come scoop you?" (Scoop as in pick her up)

 

[forcerecon01]

well I'd definitely not text tomorrow for Saturday.. and she said she was busy then. So what would you recommend?

the key to a Don Juan is patience and not over thinking. Its your call though maybe set up a. Time that the both of you can enjoy each other fully

 

[PlatoPacks23]

Yeah it makes no sense its just a smoothie. It makes you seem too eager.. Just hit her up on Sunday and be like "im bout to go grab a smoothie after i get done with <whatever you're doing>, you still down to hang? ill call you after <x> pm, do you want me to come scoop you?" (Scoop as in pick her up)

oh... well it wasn't a smoothie but a dessert place I like that I mentioned and she said, "yeah just text me"..

My "concern" is that she has a group of people that hang out on Sunday's doing things so I don't know how bad it would be if I'm texting that "day of" and she's with them already... apparently there's a big group chat where they discuss plans that one of the girls said she'd add me too today (but haven't gotten it yet). That'd tell me a lot if I could be group chat and see if they are actually doing plans or not but I have no way of knowing as of now

 

[PlatoPacks23]

Its your call though maybe set up a. Time that the both of you can enjoy each other fully

so I still don't know what to do as based on my last post ^

 

[forcerecon01]

so I still don't know what to do as based on my last post ^

does she show high interest? If she doesn't she could flake on you. How does date night sound much better?

 

[PlatoPacks23]

does she show high interest? If she doesn't she could flake on you. How does date night sound much better?

I would not say high interest.. that's why I'm asking about the phrasing of "Yeah text me". she's very friendly but I'm unsure about where she stands. the problem is her "group of people" has a few dudes in it too who I *think are into her as well. Why would I say date night? I would never use that phrase

 

[forcerecon01]

I would not say high interest.. that's why I'm asking about the phrasing of "Yeah text me". she's very friendly but I'm unsure about where she stands. the problem is her "group of people" has a few dudes in it too who I *think are into her as well. Why would I say date night? I would never use that phrase

The point is get together with her just the both of you alone. That s what I mean by date night. Don't be around other guys that could mean competition and ****blocking consciously or unconsciously.

 

[RazorRambo24]

oh... well it wasn't a smoothie but a dessert place I like that I mentioned and she said, "yeah just text me"..

My "concern" is that she has a group of people that hang out on Sunday's doing things so I don't know how bad it would be if I'm texting that "day of" and she's with them already... apparently there's a big group chat where they discuss plans that one of the girls said she'd add me too today (but haven't gotten it yet). That'd tell me a lot if I could be group chat and see if they are actually doing plans or not but I have no way of knowing as of now

Don't stress. just hit her up. if shes busy its cool.. Sundays are weird days.. often because no one has much to do ona Sunday, or sometimes people are too lazy to do anything on a Sunday. Regardless, if it falls through, hit up another time, when you know shes free.

Overall don't think so hard about it.. It sounds like since a buncha ppl go out from that class together, there will be plenty of opportunities to spend time with her

 

[Stanley]

Don't read into too much.
Just ask her to hang on sunday and go get a smoothie or something. Don't make it a big deal because it isn't a big deal.
Spending time analyzing texts is only going to lead to a headache and anxiety.

Hit her up, get her out with you, pay attention to her actions, and just have fun, remove the outcome mindset entirely aside from enjoying yourself. Then you can reassess

 

[PlatoPacks23]

Don't stress. just hit her up. if shes busy its cool.. Sundays are weird days.. often because no one has much to do ona Sunday, or sometimes people are too lazy to do anything on a Sunday. Regardless, if it falls through, hit up another time, when you know shes free.

Overall don't think so hard about it.. It sounds like since a buncha ppl go out from that class together, there will be plenty of opportunities to spend time with her

yeah thank you haha. Would it be weird to text her Friday afternoon about plans for Sunday afternoon? I *do know she takes a class usually on Sundays and last time she went out w a group of people to eat after... but unfortunately. I'm not on that text thread yet so not sure if it would happen again Sunday and she'd be busy.

Yes and they do go out a bunch... I just am mildly concerned if I text her Friday and she says no or whatever then it'll be tougher in future.. IDK vs waiting for later for a group thing.

 

[PlatoPacks23]

Don't read into too much.
Just ask her to hang on sunday and go get a smoothie or something. Don't make it a big deal because it isn't a big deal.
Spending time analyzing texts is only going to lead to a headache and anxiety.

Hit her up, get her out with you, pay attention to her actions, and just have fun, remove the outcome mindset entirely aside from enjoying yourself. Then you can reassess

thank you. Would it be weird to text her Friday afternoon about plans for Sunday afternoon?

 

[Stanley]

thank you. Would it be weird to text her Friday afternoon about plans for Sunday afternoon?

Who knows? Everyone is different, but now we're back into over analyzing and fortune-telling. I'd just hit her up the day before or even the day of personally. Up to you know the vibe with this girl, but again this sounds super casual and the girl did literally say "just text me"....

So just text her and do it when you want to. Don't stress it really, you'll get in your head about it too much and that pressure on yourself can and will be felt by her. Just be chill

 

[PlatoPacks23]

Who knows? Everyone is different, but now we're back into over analyzing and fortune-telling. I'd just hit her up the day before or even the day of personally. Up to you know the vibe with this girl, but again this sounds super casual and the girl did literally say "just text me"....

So just text her and do it when you want to. Don't stress it really, you'll get in your head about it too much and that pressure on yourself can and will be felt by her. Just be chill

yeah the girl is pretty spontaneous... I just don't know if she would forget by.. Saturday if I text her about what we talked about today? yeah im def. stressing about it lol, but that's why im on this board.

also as I said in other post, "I *do know she takes a class usually on Sundays and last time she went out w a group of people to eat after... but unfortunately. I'm not on that text thread yet so not sure if it would happen again Sunday and she'd be busy."

 

[Stanley]

Simply text her.
If she is interested she will not forget, if she does 'forget' she wasn't interested to begin with or it was low. Don't worry about comfort and needing a group around, being alone with her is what you want so you can guage interest and identify mutual chemsitry if it is present. BUT adopt the mindset of just going to have fun at a casual meetup, because that is what it is...

When you text her:
-You won't offend her.
-You won't come across as needy.
-you won't be 'over eager'.
-you won't spoil things

You will be doing what she asked you nonchalantly to do which is "Just text me"!

She already told you when she is free and let you define the meetup at your leisure. That is a good thing! not a bad thing at all! You're fine man, just hit her up the day before or sunday and say something like

"I was thinking grabbing a bite around noon, you wanna join me"?

You don't need to say anything else or go out of your way to accommodate her. If she makes excuses give her one pass, if she flakes and doesn't reschedule you have your answer. Just accept that might happen (even if it is unlikely) and you will ditch this stress response you've got going.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
“The chief task in life is simply this: to identify and separate matters so that I can say clearly to myself with are externals, not under my control, and which have to do with the choice I actually control. Where then do I look for good and evil? Not to uncontrollable externals, but within myself to the choices that are my own.” — Epictetus

In other words you should not be living in the future like you currently are in a worried anxious state over the possible actions this girl may take which are out of your control. Take inventory of what you can do and relax.

 

[PlatoPacks23]

Simply text her.
If she is interested she will not forget, if she does 'forget' she wasn't interested to begin with or it was low. Don't worry about comfort and needing a group around, being alone with her is what you want so you can guage interest and identify mutual chemsitry if it is present. BUT adopt the mindset of just going to have fun at a casual meetup, because that is what it is...

When you text her:
-You won't offend her.
-You won't come across as needy.
-you won't be 'over eager'.
-you won't spoil things

You will be doing what she asked you nonchalantly to do which is "Just text me"!

She already told you when she is free and let you define the meetup at your leisure. That is a good thing! not a bad thing at all! You're fine man, just hit her up the day before or sunday and say something like

"I was thinking grabbing a bite around noon, you wanna join me"?

You don't need to say anything else or go out of your way to accommodate her. If she makes excuses give her one pass, if she flakes and doesn't reschedule you have your answer. Just accept that might happen (even if it is unlikely) and you will ditch this stress response you've got going.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
“The chief task in life is simply this: to identify and separate matters so that I can say clearly to myself with are externals, not under my control, and which have to do with the choice I actually control. Where then do I look for good and evil? Not to uncontrollable externals, but within myself to the choices that are my own.” — Epictetus

In other words you should not be living in the future like you currently are in a worried anxious state over the possible actions this girl may take which are out of your control. Take inventory of what you can do and relax.

great post thank you. You seem super smart.

So I know you said that texting won't seem "over eager", but in this scenario (I said we should get dessert actually), it would be better to text her Saturday for Sunday, rather than tomorrow (Friday) for Sunday?


And by excuses, you mean, if she says no.. then try again in a couple weeks or so and if its still no then drop it?