Did I creep or weird her out?

[oc16]

Went on a group hike from the county parks system today about 45 mins where we grew up. We were all standing around in a circle saying where we were from. The one woman who was with her mother (now in her 40s) looked familiar and I realized it was a classmate (acquaintance, not friend) of my older sister (2 years older than me).

I have a photographic memory and probably remember her from looking at the yearbook or the high school halls (almost 30 years ago). She was very attractive back in the day and still looks good.

Mind you, I have never spoken to her before nor ever met her formally.

I did blurt out while we were in the circle "You look familiar aren't you so and so? (said her first and last name). She remembered my sister and I told her and her Mom I knew their son/brother as well. He was a year behind me and we went to the same college. I thought I had a pleasant conversation for a minute, although it was in front of the whole group (who were strangers to each other)

Anyway, I figured we would of exchanged some more friendly pleasantries throughout the hike but it almost seemed like the mom/daughter were purposely avoiding me or avoiding looking in my direction.

Did I creep her out? I didn't say anything inappropriate and was just being friendly.

Should I have handled it differently?

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Photographic memories are rare.

 

[oc16]

Photographic memories are rare.

I shouldn't say I have a photographic memory but I'm very good at remembering faces, names and dates.

 

[jaymbrs]

maybe she hates your sister.

 

[Billtx49]

You didn’t do anything wrong. Coincidental circumstances happen all the time, but some females are shocked when the unexpected happens. Female stalker fears, etc.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Who cares? You didn't do anything wrong.

 

[RazorRambo24]

LMAOO dude ... Bro, its not what you said.. It's the context that you went and blurted out some sht that you coulda waited to say to them 1 on 1 or personally. You said it openly while you were in a circle, aka bad timing and it made it feel awkward and weird bro. Especially because its 30 years later. When you're not sure of something, always wait to say it 1 on 1. not in front of everyone, it makes it so weird especially if they dont remember you.. and are wondering wdf was that about

Sorry for laughing btw.. its just a socially awkward thing thats all. Surprised no one mentioned this.. You gotta understand how women operate , and how most people operate in general.. Timing and time and place gotta make sense. You ALSO probably felt akwward as soon as you said it.. i think in the back of your mind you knew it wasnt the time to say or ask that but you just kinda told urself that u had to let it out or something..

 

[oc16]

LMAOO dude ... Bro, its not what you said.. It's the context that you went and blurted out some sht that you coulda waited to say to them 1 on 1 or personally. You said it openly while you were in a circle, aka bad timing and it made it feel awkward and weird bro. Especially because its 30 years later. When you're not sure of something, always wait to say it 1 on 1. not in front of everyone, it makes it so weird especially if they dont remember you.. and are wondering wdf was that about

Sorry for laughing btw.. its just a socially awkward thing thats all. Surprised no one mentioned this.. You gotta understand how women operate , and how most people operate in general.. Timing and time and place gotta make sense. You ALSO probably felt akwward as soon as you said it.. i think in the back of your mind you knew it wasnt the time to say or ask that but you just kinda told urself that u had to let it out or something..

True, but the mother initiated it by asking me what part of the town I was from.

 

[Billtx49]

True, but the mother initiated it by asking me what part of the town I was from.

Sounds like you be from the wrong side of the tracks then …
Seriously tho, she was probably just qualifying you based on some standard than you will never know…

 

[oc16]

Sounds like you be from the wrong side of the tracks then …
Seriously tho, she was probably just qualifying you based on some standard than you will never know…

No, the daughter was married I assume.

 

[Billtx49]

No worries then …

 

[Atom Smasher]

Chalk it up to the general nuttiness of women. You didn’t do anything wrong at all. Some women might love to blab about your subject matter, others may have weird issues about it. Regardless, it’s on them.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

"You look familiar aren't you so and so's brother? (said his first and last name).

This would have been better

 

[Stanley]

Dude you're fine, these chicks just seem a little nutty.

I also have qualities of eidetic memory and oftentimes have to pretend I don't know things or very small details about people to not seem 'creepy'. Those that know me have fun with it though, but to strangers I've got to tone it back.
Probably would've played dumb a bit and said "Hey you look familiar did you go to_________ School"? or whatever

 

[FlirtLife]

I did blurt out while we were in the circle "You look familiar aren't you so and so? (said her first and last name). She remembered my sister and I told her and her Mom I knew their son/brother as well.
...
Did I creep her out?

I side with @BillyPilgrim on this one. What she heard was "I remember your first and last name from decades ago... for some reason". And then you let her fill in the reason, after which she avoided you. My guess is that she felt the situation was awkward and weird, and suspected you secretly liked her for years (and still do). So yes, slightly creepy in my opinion.

Better is to use only the first name of her brother... "Hey, are you so-and-so's sister?" Which says you're not sure, remember her brother, but that's it. It's more normal to talk about things her brother liked at that point, to make the conversation about someone known to both of you. If she happens to like something you like, great - tangent onto that. I would make sure to ask how her brother is doing these days, which also lets them start a conversation about her brother with you later.

 

[FlirtLife]

Dude you're fine, these chicks just seem a little nutty.

I also have qualities of eidetic memory and oftentimes have to pretend I don't know things or very small details about people to not seem 'creepy'. Those that know me have fun with it though, but to strangers I've got to tone it back.
Probably would've played dumb a bit and said "Hey you look familiar did you go to_________ School"? or whatever

You acknowledge edetic memory can "seem creepy", yet you think a mother and daugther avoiding a potential "creepy" guy "seem a little nutty"?

 

[Stanley]

You acknowledge edetic memory can "seem creepy", yet you think a mother and daugther avoiding a potential "creepy" guy "seem a little nutty"?

Ahh, I see what you mean, let me explain.

Just because someone has a good memory doesn't mean anything other than they have a good memory.
I think these woman being cold and distant after THEY initiated a conversation and inquiring about op is odd behavior. The mom asked about him and what side of town he's from and there were mutual connections. Most sane secure people would just chalk this up as a string of coincidences from living in the same town. Happens all the time, thus the phrase "small world".

We could brainstorm some 'why's to this behavior. Maybe there is some beef between some connections they share? Maybe this girl projected some qualifier onto this guy? Maybe she didn't actually give a **** an op is reading too deeply into it. Maybe she's a narcissists who thinks everything revolves around her...But Who cares? This is a her problem (if it is even considered a problem to begin with)

I share my perspective on the matter because on a very small amount of occasions my long term memory has shocked people negatively. Normally it is a "how the hell do you remember that!" kind of thing and it normally brings people in, not out. Rarely, has it ever been something that makes someone uncomfortable, the times it has it was from 'odd' people who were often insecure.


Some people are so in there own head when they hear you make a statement they didn't expect you to know or remember that it sets their hamster wheel off. I had a girlfriend once who was always amazed by my ability to recall things about her (completely normal things). She was so used to people not actually listening to her and treating her like a fly on the wall that she thought it was odd for her boyfriend to remember her birthday and small details. In reality she was just messed up and couldn't process that some people are good listeners and actually give a ****. Also a narcissist but I digress..

My point being, know when to tone back the details because there are those few that may find it odd you can recall things with such accuracy and they will begin to speculate all the reasons as to why. When the reality oftentimes is that person just had good long term memory and there is nothing behind it like what we see here with op.

Not saying the guy wasn't awkward or something, but this is a whole big nothing burger and who cares if the chick got weirded out?

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Ahh, I see what you mean, let me explain.

Just because someone has a good memory doesn't mean anything other than they have a good memory.
I think these woman being cold and distant after THEY initiated a conversation and inquiring about op is odd behavior. The mom asked about him and what side of town he's from and there were mutual connections. Most sane secure people would just chalk this up as a string of coincidences from living in the same town. Happens all the time, thus the phrase "small world".

We could brainstorm some 'why's to this behavior. Maybe there is some beef between some connections they share? Maybe this girl projected some qualifier onto this guy? Maybe she didn't actually give a **** an op is reading too deeply into it. Maybe she's a narcissists who thinks everything revolves around her...But Who cares? This is a her problem (if it is even considered a problem to begin with)

I share my perspective on the matter because on a very small amount of occasions my long term memory has shocked people negatively. Normally it is a "how the hell do you remember that!" kind of thing and it normally brings people in, not out. Rarely, has it ever been something that makes someone uncomfortable, the times it has it was from 'odd' people who were often insecure.


Some people are so in there own head when they hear you make a statement they didn't expect you to know or remember that it sets their hamster wheel off. I had a girlfriend once who was always amazed by my ability to recall things about her (completely normal things). She was so used to people not actually listening to her and treating her like a fly on the wall that she thought it was odd for her boyfriend to remember her birthday and small details. In reality she was just messed up and couldn't process that some people are good listeners and actually give a ****. Also a narcissist but I digress..

My point being, know when to tone back the details because there are those few that may find it odd you can recall things with such accuracy and they will begin to speculate all the reasons as to why. When the reality oftentimes is that person just had good long term memory and there is nothing behind it like what we see here with op.

Not saying the guy wasn't awkward or something, but this is a whole big nothing burger and who cares if the chick got weirded out?

Imo the point is to both not care *and* avoid being awkward. These women didn't know that OP happens to have good memory. OP could have audibly farted instead without any bad intentions behind it, but the result is the same - the women are put on pause.

Obviously, you want to avoid putting women on pause.

 

[oc16]

I think I am what's called a super recognizer where we can recognize faces better than the average person. I just took a 10 minute online test (testmybrain.org) and scored above average.

I agree I might have "creeped" her out, but I honestly only said something since I was 100% sure she was an acquaintance of my sisters back in high school and I knew her brother (Acquaintance). If neither of these things were true, I would have not said anything.

Sometimes, I get into my head too much and suffer from "cognitive " distortions (e.g jumping to conclusions, mind reading, if you feel a certain way....it must be true, etc.)

You would think based on the fact I was proactive, friendly and we had mutual connections they would of seemed more open to more small talk from me once the hike started. However, they didn't really interact with the other hikers either (other than the group leader)

Since they seemed closed off, I assume the earlier interaction "creeped" them out or made them feel awkward. I tend to always think the worst or if it's a possibility (it must be true)

This may very well have been the case, but I guess I will never know.

The fact I am making such a big deal about this too, is also mind boggling to myself.

 

[Stanley]

I think I am what's called a super recognizer where we can recognize faces better than the average person. I just took a 10 minute online test (testmybrain.org) and scored above average.

I agree I might have "creeped" her out, but I honestly only said something since I was 100% sure she was an acquaintance of my sisters back in high school and I knew her brother (Acquaintance). If neither of these things were true, I would have not said anything.

Sometimes, I get into my head too much and suffer from "cognitive " distortions (e.g jumping to conclusions, mind reading, if you feel a certain way....it must be true, etc.)

You would think based on the fact I was proactive, friendly and we had mutual connections they would of seemed more open to more small talk from me once the hike started. However, they didn't really interact with the other hikers either (other than the group leader)

Since they seemed closed off, I assume the earlier interaction "creeped" them out or made them feel awkward.

This may very well have been the case, but I guess I will never know.

Dont sweat it man. It ain't no thing

Imo the point is to both not care *and* avoid being awkward. These women didn't know that OP happens to have good memory. OP could have audibly farted instead without any bad intentions behind it, but the result is the same - the women are put on pause.

Obviously, you want to avoid putting women on pause.

I agree 100%. That was my intention of 'being aware' you have the capacity to creep someone out in this matter indirectly and to avoid it if you can. Social tact should be employed

On a side note though a lot of women nowadays are constantly fed media which perpetuates men as bad and dangerous. I was with a group of girls the other the night and told a story about this girl I was dating and how I was gonna toss her in the river on our date to a river walk. It was a joke and she genuinely thought I was going to murder her... we had been talking for months in person before dating. These girls went on to acknowledge that they inherently don't trust men and generally assume the worst. That said they thought it was just a goofy playful joke and that this girl should get off the internet and stop watching true crime. lol