How to accept a LTR/marrying a non-virgin

[Pandora]

"It’s said it takes seven years to grow completely new skin cells.To think, this year I will grow into a body you never will have touched.”

― Brett E. Jenkins

Hahaha this is funny and makes me feel slightly better.

 

[Gamisch]

The guys who are actively looking for a virging MUST have tons of troubles with women in general. The disdain for a woman that lost her virginity is obviously impossible to hide. And that must be like 95% of the women they'll meet. If you are older than 30 it's getting nearly impossible to find a virging. Also makes me wonder how your daily interactions with women are in general.


This virginity thing is just another cope , actually the worst form of Disney dreaming. Instead of accepting (modern) female nature for what it is and making the best ofit somehow, "chasing virginity " seems like the last ultimate way of pedalstalizing women. "If only she was a virgin she would be marriage material ". Like a virgin woman is a better woman somehow.

There's something like a gray area. Most men would prefer a woman with a low count, but if you had enough women you'll know a low count doesnt guarantee you shyte. As usual the discussion turns black and white. It's in a man's nature to be cautious about promiscuous behavior, because up untill like 100 years ago humanity couldn't 100% confirm via DNA if he was the actual father. Just like it's in women's nature to chase the player if he can guarantee her good offspring.

You have to admit it's a beta way of thinking. A alpha-ish man understands that she just haven't met him before and that's all. So she could have had x number of partners and they could all be 6's. Just like a man can date 6/7's and then boom he dates a 8/9 that makes his previous relationships look pale in comparison. Like @Pedrito0906 said, by becoming the best you can you will at least increase the chance you will Alpha widow a woman.

Because isn't it all about that? The alpha widow part? And you guys think that if you are her first you are guaranteed to Alpha widow her? Doesn't work like that in reality.

 

[Gamisch]

And what about the FOMO part? @Modern Man Advice man has a positive story about a virging , but also admits it quite rare. A buddy of mine dated a virging. Girl from a protected somewhat wealthy family. After like 2 years she straight up demands to see other men, because it's "unfair he got to date around and she only dated him".

He went through hell and back to keep her. Her virginity didn't cure her bipolar symptoms. He now dates a "normal " woman and has a LTR that's a million times better.

 

[pipeman84]

A alpha-ish man understands that she just haven't met him before and that's all. So she could have had x number of partners and they could all be 6's.

Man, only in newspeak is a guy who LTRs/marries a woman with X number of previous 6s alpha-ish. In reality he's the guy who pays premium for the left overs of others. Pays a Mercedes S Klasse list price for a taxi/uber car. If she indeed was a 9, she would've recognized those 6s for what they were and wouldn't have given the goods.

Now, why would an alpha guy marry a woman instead of just fvcking hoes or modern women? For her feminine energy, loyalty, for that special bond that exists just between the 2 of them. You really believe you get these from a woman with X number of exes?

 

[pipeman84]

A buddy of mine dated a virging. Girl from a protected somewhat wealthy family. After like 2 years she straight up demands to see other men, because it's "unfair he got to date around and she only dated him".

He went through hell and back to keep her. Her virginity didn't cure her bipolar symptoms. He now dates a "normal " woman and has a LTR that's a million times better.

That's the straw-man argument ... no one ever said the ONLY qualification for LTR/marriage is that she has to be a virgin. Mutual chemistry, a good feminine attitude and the fact she should be clinically sane go way before considering virginity.

 

[Gamisch]

Man, only in newspeak is a guy who LTRs/marries a woman with X number of previous 6s alpha-ish. In reality he's the guy who pays premium for the left overs of others. Pays a Mercedes S Klasse list price for a taxi/uber car. If she indeed was a 9, she would've recognized those 6s for what they were and wouldn't have given the goods.

Now, why would an alpha guy marry a woman instead of just fvcking hoes or modern women? For her feminine energy, loyalty, for that special bond that exists just between the 2 of them. You really believe you get these from a woman with X number of exes?

Many if not most men we consider Alpha married women that most probably lost their virginity before they met him.

You are my age. How many years you have left to live by this policy? So you as a 40 y.o man would rather invest his time and energy in a woman with no experience whatsoever? Because it sounds like you do want a LTR. She "just " has to be virgin. How do you act around the women you DO see?

That's the straw-man argument ... no one ever said the ONLY qualification for LTR/marriage is that she has to be a virgin. Mutual chemistry, a good feminine attitude and the fact she should be clinically sane go way before considering virginity.

Well then we're saying the same thing aren't we? I even liked this post because you pull a complete 180 here. My example is about a grown man who thinks like you , and actually dated a virgin.

Plenty of people been saying what you say right now throughout the thread. Then what the point of defending tiur stance on virgin women?

That is actually a VERY fair point.

@pipeman84 you have asked me a lot of questions and we have had many discussions about this topic and now, if you don't mind I have a question for you.

Your profile reads you are 38 years old and I am wondering, have you had any LTRs, and if so were they with virgins? How long did they last and why did you break up? Was there sexual intimacy within those relationships?

Just curious. I have NO issue with the fact you seek purity and innocence, this is what you desire in a woman and need, and I respect that.

Agree with others, in today's dating environment it might be difficult to find but if that is what you truly need to be happy, you should hold out for that.

EDITED TO ADD: Just now I did a lil research and discovered there are many dating websites that cater to men seeking only virgins. Apparently there are still many virgins around and I am wondering if you've ever checked any of those dating websites out?

I know @Dr.Suave is engaged to a woman who was a virgin when they met, I am curious if he found her on one of those websites

Anyway just a thought, something to consider if you haven't already.

Those websites exists because there are plenty of gullible men as we can see in this thread. First step is having such a policy. Second step is being stupid enough to believe women on such a website are actually virgin.

 

[Dr.Suave]

That is actually a VERY fair point.

@pipeman84 you have asked me a lot of questions and we have had many discussions about this topic and now, if you don't mind I have a question for you.

Your profile reads you are 38 years old and I am wondering, have you had any LTRs, and if so were they with virgins? How long did they last and why did you break up? Was there sexual intimacy within those relationships?

Just curious. I have NO issue with the fact you seek purity and innocence, this is what you desire in a woman and need, and I respect that.

Agree with others, in today's dating environment it might be difficult to find but if that is what you truly need to be happy, you should hold out for that.

EDITED TO ADD: Just now I did a lil research and discovered there are many dating websites that cater to men seeking only virgins. Apparently there are still many virgins around and I am wondering if you've ever checked any of those dating websites out?

I know @Dr.Suave is engaged to a woman who was a virgin when they met, I am curious if he found her on one of those websites

Anyway just a thought, something to consider if you haven't already.

I'm not familiar with those websites. The thing is, on those websites, theres money involved. When theres money involved, theres a High probability it's a scam.

 

[Dr.Suave]

I mean how could it be proved? Take her to a doctor? I don't know I am not a man, maybe you guys can tell the first time you fvck her?

You have to Bang a certain number of Virgins/"Virgins" so You can tell the difference between those that are maybe lying from those that definetly arent.

There many tells both ways.
But it's not worth it to get into details here. Talking about Virginity in SoSuave is súper pointless.

 

[pipeman84]

Your profile reads you are 38 years old and I am wondering, have you had any LTRs, and if so were they with virgins?

I haven't had any LTRs. Why is that? I've always been on my purpose to develop as a man and human being and on this journey I haven't met the right girl. Not only internally I haven't felt like I missed something, but from all the couples around me I didn't find any inspiring stories that would make me say: man, an LTR is a beautiful thing, gotta find me a woman asap.

EDITED TO ADD: Just now I did a lil research and discovered there are many dating websites that cater to men seeking only virgins. Apparently there are still many virgins around and I am wondering if you've ever checked any of those dating websites out?

LOL Those sites cater to dumb men who have a pinhole vision of what virginity is about (hymen, blood). It's the same thing with hymen repair surgery. Can you imagine starting a family with a woman devious enough to have had that type of surgery to bleed on her wedding night?

You are my age. How many years you have left to live by this policy? So you as a 40 y.o man would rather invest his time and energy in a woman with no experience whatsoever? Because it sounds like you do want a LTR. She "just " has to be virgin. How do you act around the women you DO see?

You're saying this as if I don't get married by a certain age, or ever, the marriage Gods will cast their wrath upon me. Also, you're saying 'just' has to be a virgin like you'd refer to freckles or some other meaningless characteristic.

Plenty of people been saying what you say right now throughout the thread. Then what the point of defending tiur stance on virgin women?

That's like saying, since this car hasn't been in any collision, looks good, why don't you pay list price for it? Why hassle over the fact it had 4 owners and 100k miles on it?
A virgin woman has a clean record regarding loyalty, 0 baggage from past relationships and she's as feminine as she'll ever be.

 

[BadBoy89]

I’ve said so many times before:

99.9% of the problems guys have with girls come down to the women‘s virginity. Gave it up to Chad at 16 and now the man has to jump through hoops and legally commit to get her sexual best when she is 35? Hard to process.

Personally I would be with a girl who has been with several guys than a girl who has been with 1 man but was divorced. Once you are married and divorced, you are a complete sex object.

 

[pipeman84]

But yeah you're right, a lot of phonies on line and these "virgins" may be also, in fact who's to say a man meeting a so-called virgin IRL is the real deal?

I mean how could it be proved? Take her to a doctor? I don't know I am not a man, maybe you guys can tell the first time you fvck her?

Milano-- I acknowledge it is super uncommon to find a virgin, but I also think it's not quite as rare as you think. Virgin women are like bobcats, to use a hunting/wilderness analogy. You know they exist, there are healthy populations in many states, but it's so rare to ever see one in the wild because they are secretive. Similar with virgins--of course they exist, even into their 20's, but they are secretive too in that they get married up quickly or arent part of the typical dating pool.

I think you can tell by her innocence. They have a certain naivete about sexual things and in general. They are usually trusting. They will be SUPER gun-shy about sexual escalation too. I think many are embarrassed about it and afraid guys will avoid them if they know.

I've found that women with low lay counts are much more trustworthy. They haven't been betrayed by the Disney idea that they're going to find their one true love. Not only that, their nature is to find that "one true love", but they only have one shot at it. The ones who lose that "one true love" end up as alpha-widows, and are forever ruined by the experience.

Hey @Dr.Suave you're more than welcome to add your input to the above.
So you see, virginity is about innocence, femininity, trustworthiness. A woman who comes across as masculine (check out Lolo Jones, the 40yrs old virgin, for an example), uses profanity (that's one of my axioms, if the woman casually uses the word c0ck, then she had at least one in her mouth ) may technically be a virgin, but that's worthless IMO.

 

[SW15]

By simply not being delusional enough to think you are going to find a virgin these days and accept that's how the world is.

Partner compatibility is much more important than virginity.

At a certain point in life, finding a virgin isn't going to be realistic. When you're dating in high school, you can find a virgin without too much difficulty. You don't even have to be that religious to find one.

If you're an 18-22 year old and interested in dating 18-22 year old females, it becomes more difficult to find one but not outrageously difficult. If you're in a public or private non-religious college, you'd need to join the more religious clubs on campus to have a good chance of finding one and be socially active there. At that point in life and in that lifestyle, it's possible some of those women are wife material.

Data points have been showing that fewer and fewer college-formed romantic relationships are standing the test of time. Most men are broken up with their college-era girlfriends within 5 years of graduation. If you go to college at standard ages, that would make you 27 years old at the oldest when you'd need to find a dating strategy in your life to implement post-college.

I think a college-formed relationship with a virgin or 1 notch count woman formed prior to age 21 has a better chance of lasting a very long time, especially if the man is religious too. Most SoSuave forum participants are not hardcore religious adherents. The Christian-based faiths have a ban on pre-marital sex.

There are those who go to weekly Christian service/Catholic Mass that ignore the ban on pre-marital sex, but that was more of a Boomer/Gen X behavior than a Millennial behavior. There is an irony in this that there are far more incel or borderline incel Millennial men despite Millennials not practicing religion as much. These incel/borderline incel non-religious men are unintentionally practicing the no pre-marital sex rule of Christian faiths.

Once a man becomes 25+/30+, he's not likely to be meeting any virgins, especially if he's interacting with women close to his own age. A 30-35 year old man who is dating 18-22 year olds might have a chance at meeting virgins, but most 18-22 year old women who are willing to date 30-35 year old men aren't virgins.

Partner count is less important in a non-marital LTR than it is in a marriage situation. If a non-marital LTR ends without children, it's not that big of a deal. Two people go their separate ways. When a marriage ends, it's a bigger deal. Even a childless divorce involves the court system. Dealing with paperwork and courts is unpleasant. If marriage is a goal, more stringent standards around partner count is a relevant consideration. Getting divorced stinks.

It is about insecurity, why would care that she got other partners? Are you scared that you can't measure up to Chad Thunderc0ck?

That's why you become a top 10% male; muscle, money and game, that you'll be the best and when you see Chad Thunderc0ck, you say to yourself "wait is that my competition from her past? pffff that's nothing.

Being Chad Thundercocck is always a benefit.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Hey @Dr.Suave you're more than welcome to add your input to the above.
So you see, virginity is about innocence, femininity, trustworthiness. A woman who comes across as masculine (check out Lolo Jones, the 40yrs old virgin, for an example), uses profanity (that's one of my axioms, if the woman casually uses the word c0ck, then she had at least one in her mouth ) may technically be a virgin, but that's worthless IMO.

Yes, worthless. I missed that post from @Colossus, its a good post.

 

[Gamisch]

I haven't had any LTRs. Why is that? I've always been on my purpose to develop as a man and human being and on this journey I haven't met the right girl. Not only internally I haven't felt like I missed something, but from all the couples around me I didn't find any inspiring stories that would make me say: man, an LTR is a beautiful thing, gotta find me a woman asap.

LOL Those sites cater to dumb men who have a pinhole vision of what virginity is about (hymen, blood). It's the same thing with hymen repair surgery. Can you imagine starting a family with a woman devious enough to have had that type of surgery to bleed on her wedding night?

You're saying this as if I don't get married by a certain age, or ever, the marriage Gods will cast their wrath upon me. Also, you're saying 'just' has to be a virgin like you'd refer to freckles or some other meaningless characteristic.

That's like saying, since this car hasn't been in any collision, looks good, why don't you pay list price for it? Why hassle over the fact it had 4 owners and 100k miles on it?
A virgin woman has a clean record regarding loyalty, 0 baggage from past relationships and she's as feminine as she'll ever be.

I am not saying Gods vengeance will strike upon you for not marrying a virging.

I would rather say I am puzzled that a man with your mindset doesnt simply chase women with the ultimate RP abundance mindset (or maybe you do and that's the whole point I am missing idk..). To be able to NOT take women too seriously is one of the best tools a man can have imo. Seeing through the bs.

I mean, (unconsciously) chasing the unicorn virgin = buying a lottery ticket but not expecting to actually ever win it. I dont think my way of thinking is too far off from this tbh.

It's funny that I used to be this LTR guy , got woken up couple of times by reality and find myself saying the same thing as a guy like you who never pursued LTR's. The woman that truly checks all my boxes might not even exist or might've passed by me in life already and I am actually kinda cool with that. It's way more fun to deal with women without all those heavy and big expectations.

 

[pipeman84]

I would rather say I am puzzled that a man with your mindset doesnt simply chase women with the ultimate RP abundance mindset (or maybe you do and that's the whole point I am missing idk..). To be able to NOT take women too seriously is one of the best tools a man can have imo. Seeing through the bs.

I don't chase (there's that saying, you don't chase after trains, buses or women, there's another one coming in 15min), I'm aware of all women that cross my path. I also know most not only bring no value, but are time/energy drainers, so I just don't let them into my life.
I believe an LTR/marriage is an opportunity for creation/expansion as a man and human being ... but I'm not naive/dumb enough to choose the woman needed for this from those expired, ran-through women who acted as community cows giving their milk for free while in their prime, and now at 30+ are looking for a sucker to settle down with.