What is Your Stance on Getting into Committed Relationships with Single Moms?

[The Duke]

4. A man only dates women with adult children (ages 18+)

The ltr before my current one had one child. There were never any of the issues you stated. In fact him and I still talk. He was independent and lived on his own except for the first year we dated. Only problem we ever had was regarding some discipline regarding some work we had scheduled that he didn't follow thru on. His mother was a lot more accepting than I was, and I couldn't have any say in that.

I definitely wouldn't recommend a living arrangement with a woman and her kids, especially children. That has a lot of potential problems as you mentioned.

 

[corsica]

I have hooked up with single moms. Unless it’s a one time thing I am done with them.

It usually starts fine.... then you end up hearing about how awesome of a mom
She is... how she is an amazing baker, sewer, cook, gardener... and work out enthusiast....

Then you start hearing about the kid...kids.... then about the ex....

Then the texts start with the drama.... baby daddy drama, money drama, work drama... you soon find yourself exhausted listening to this drivel.

Then you realize the puss was not worth the headache....

That's a good description. Just like we men pretend we're interested in BS stuff (astrology, woke garbage, Taylor Swift, etc) to "connect" to a girl and get laid, single moms "act pleasant". Most mention their kid initially to see your reaction. Has the same weight as saying they're an amputee (don't have a leg or something).

I've been during the first phase mentioned above (from Machine). A friend of mine was in the latter. He was depressed due to his girlfriend of 10 years dumping him. He got in a relationship with the first woman interested in him; an overweight single mom that wasted 5 years of his life.
When I was seeing my friend, he was always venting. Always upset about HER problems with her ex! Then about the lack of sex since she knew it wasn't necessary to keep the poor bastard around. He wasted money in an attorney to help her secure alimony and the house. Do you think she was grateful? No, Sir.

Some men are fools. Just like women, they think they can change a person. Or getting a single mom and "make it work".

It's a trap.

 

[Pandora]

LOL, no, I agree with him, I think the loser in dating is the guy who marries them, gets them pregnant, pays for her childs things and/or takes headaches from her/her child. Just wanted to know what he was referring to. The trick is to know what you're getting yourself into

What if you get her to also have a child for you?

 

[Bingo-Player]

Not something i would be openly looking for but accepted as i get older and the longer i stay single its going to become pretty inevitable at some stage i am going to run into a chick with another mans kid

Women with kids are generally more down to earth because they've lost the orbiters and most of the attention because as others have pointed out they have lost probably half of their prime value in the market

For me it would be a very much "take it as comes " type of deal i would need to do hell of a lot of screening on her lifestyle

 

[SW15]

4. A man only dates women with adult children (ages 18+)

The ltr before my current one had one child. There were never any of the issues you stated. In fact him and I still talk. He was independent and lived on his own except for the first year we dated. Only problem we ever had was regarding some discipline regarding some work we had scheduled that he didn't follow thru on. His mother was a lot more accepting than I was, and I couldn't have any say in that.

I definitely wouldn't recommend a living arrangement with a woman and her kids, especially children. That has a lot of potential problems as you mentioned.

It's interesting you saw this scenario in the first half of your 40s. Most women close to your own age around then wouldn't have all children 18+ at that point in life, though it is feasible for a 40 year old woman who only had 1 child to have all adult children by 40.

My mom has had relationships since I started college and have been an independent adult. I don't appreciate it in the slightest bit that I have to spend time with anyone she's in a relationship with when I see her. These men aren't my father and they weren't a part of my childhood years. Not only that, why do I have to spend time with her husband's adult children? That's completely unfair to me.

My experience is not uncommon with adult children with parents who get into serious relationships after the adult child is independent.

 

[SW15]

 

[bmp2cpm]

Unpopular opinion and I do not recommend it, but if you must be in a relationship with a mom….you are better off stealing an attached mom than getting into a relationship with a single mom.

In general, single moms do not know how to keep their man while attached moms do.

 

[SW15]

Unpopular opinion and I do not recommend it, but if you must be in a relationship with a mom….you are better off stealing an attached mom than getting into a relationship with a single mom.

In general, single moms do not know how to keep their man while attached moms do.

Interesting thought. It might be difficult to find a married mom or an unmarried mom in an LTR looking to monkey branch through stranger approaching or random social media DMs.

 

[KirthWGersen]

I have no problem with dating single mothers. I have had a vasectomy and have my own kids. I love the freedom of just meeting up occasionally.

I do have a problem with with committed relationships though. I much prefer being non-monogamous and living life on my own terms. That way you avoid all the downsides.

Once you realise you don't have to follow any particular model for relationships, you are free to be happy.

 

[2Rocky]

Which of these 4 stances is your stance on committed relationships with single moms?

I have been #3 and #4 as time went on.

From the get go, after raising 3 children over the last 25 years I did not relish the thought of starting over with someone else's child. I chose to date only women with children older than my youngest. This turned into a long distance relationship where we closed the distance upon the graduation of her youngest child.

As a father myself I wanted an LTR with a woman who would be a good role model for my youngest daughter. In my case a single mother who committed to her children's well being and successful launch into the big wide world was a pretty good green flag.

Women with children who I met but chose NOT to date included:

a very attractive marketing rep with 3 daughters in grade school
two ex wives' of my company's former clients
an older woman with a daughter with chronic pain issues and 4 dogs.
a tatted up cousin of a single girl who has a grade school son, and was inebriated trying to bed me.

Because of living in a small community within a small city and broader county, I could not P&D many of these women because of social circle connections.
.
My one mistake though was I ASSUMED the single childless women were going to want to have children of their own. If the last 7 years is any indication, I was wrong in that assumption.

 

[bmp2cpm]

Interesting thought. It might be difficult to find a married mom or an unmarried mom in an LTR looking to monkey branch through stranger approaching or random social media DMs.

Absolutely, a bit of a rare situation where the mom is looking to monkey branch, is attracted to you, and has vetted you.

I don’t recommend it but they are a much higher quality woman.

You will not find these women on dating sites, only through social circles or as an old college boyfriend.

High quality moms, even up to the age of 40s will never be single. They go from marriage to engagement to divorce to marriage because they can.

Meanwhile, single moms are dating more guys than you can count.

 

[Bokanovsky]

To quote the late Nancy Reagan: JUST SAY NO!!!

The only possible exception is if you are a single dad who lives with his kids. You may have to exercise some flexibility in that case.

 

[SW15]

a bit of a rare situation where the mom is looking to monkey branch, is attracted to you, and has vetted you.

I don’t recommend it but they are a much higher quality woman.

You will not find these women on dating sites, only through social circles or as an old college boyfriend.

High quality moms, even up to the age of 40s will never be single. They go from marriage to engagement to divorce to marriage because they can.

Meanwhile, single moms are dating more guys than you can count.

Agree that social circles are the most feasible play for the attached mom considering the monkey branch. However, a lot of unattached men and serial monogamist, marginally attached men do not tend to know a lot of attached moms too well, particularly if those men are childless. Single dads have the social circle advantage there.

Being the old high school or college boyfriend only works if both you and her have stayed in the same general area as that school.

Single moms who are unmarried for extended periods do date many men. It's probably less than men than she could date if she were childless. Child raising stuff does cut into relationship formation time. There are single moms who are pumped and dumped regularly though.

 

[TheKid]

Single moms are losers.
If you hang around losers you are a loser.
If you have kids yourself its diffrent as i think ppl with kids should ONLY date ppl with kids.

 

[Travel memoir21]

One hot/cute Filipina mom just friend requested me this afternoon.

My birthday is this month, Im at an age where I’d consider it.

 

[Pandora]

Still #1 but that day will end eventually. At a certain age, the single moms are mentally healthier than the alternatives.

exactly bro lol. This is the depressing truth.

 

[Mazer]

Plate status, nothing more

 

[indiff]

Me personally I have no interest in them, I also don't judge unless the man claims to be an alpha with options and he goes from single mom to single mom (ie Corey Wayne). Then I'm like...WTF man?


I don't know man, I've realized it's better not to make generalizations like this because everyone is different and wants different things out of life. I have a player friend my age who's been dating a single mom an year older than him with a 12yrs old daughter for almost a year now. He says that he can really talk and connect with her, unlike the other girls he's been with. Who am I to judge him and say >man, you're a fool, you gotta get yourself a 23yrs old virgin<, just because that's my preference?

I discovered the same about Donovan Sharpe too

 

[Divorced w 3]

You are underestimating the demand for childless 30 somethings and even 30 something single moms. Male thirst is at epidemic and pandemic levels.

I don’t think I am. Speaking for myself, I don’t see the single 30’s holding too firm. I’m in the trading business and there’s a universal truth in auction markets (buyers vs sellers)… you can offer whatever prices you want but you don’t print a sale until some agrees to buy. You can be a thirsty, various aged / economic situated male but that doesn’t mean you’re necessarily bringing what she needs to the table. The 30’s that I have talked to, current excluded, have been pretty available. Admittedly not scientific whatsoever.

 

[SW15]

Single moms are losers.
If you hang around losers you are a loser.
If you have kids yourself its diffrent as i think ppl with kids should ONLY date ppl with kids.

A lot of single moms are losers. They made bad decisions on the person to marry when they had a lot of options.

It's a bigger problem when childless men end up with single moms of children under 18. There are childless men thirsty enough to make that a reality. Also, there are plenty of single dads who end up with single moms. I understand that arrangement more than the childless man-single mom arrangement. Single dads have more baggage than childless men so they often have to take on a single mom. There are some odd relational dynamics that exist when single dads and single moms commit to a long term relationship. The children from the prior relationship don't like the new partner or the new partner's kids.

A more common relationship now are age 50+ couples with both sets of partners having adult children. The two sets of adult children don't like their parents' new arrangement much either. Most act tolerant of it to some degree for the sake of keeping family peace but don't like it.

You are underestimating the demand for childless 30 somethings and even 30 something single moms. Male thirst is at epidemic and pandemic levels.

But who's actually getting into marriage with those single moms? Have you seen those guys? Most men don't have anything going on for them, so the guys getting into that they have even less things going on for them, total life losers.

My "gf" she's a single mom, I allowed myself to be called a bf until I don't get what I want, excitement, parties, travelling, her paying for stuff, experiencing 3somes (not yet but she's open to it and says thing like that when we're having secs), I never stopped approaching other women, not the most loyal thing to do, but commitment is just a word, like women branch swing, men should do the same without guilt, and besides, women prefer to share a high value guy than settling for a loser like Rollo says, until some point.

To me I think if a guy have a clear understanding that the relationship will never be as good as with a childless woman, that he shouldn't get married, never get her pregnant, that she's for having fun only, that there should be a clear separation between her kids and you, that if she's treating you like a king while he's trying to get other women, where is the downside of that? When he's ready to have a family he simply drops her and focus on finding a woman without children.

I don't think it is solely loser males who get into committed relationships with single moms.

You are in some quasi relationship with a single mom. It's more than plate status. Men don't take plates on vacations to Puerto Rico from the United States.

Are you making plans to drop her and spend more effort on childless women? You're 33, so a childless woman 25-32 is a realistic prospect for you.

I think plenty of decent, normie tier men end up in relationships with single moms. Some are single fathers themselves but there are childless men who get into relationships with them.

You are underestimating the demand for childless 30 somethings and even 30 something single moms. Male thirst is at epidemic and pandemic levels.

I don’t think I am. Speaking for myself, I don’t see the single 30’s holding too firm. I’m in the trading business and there’s a universal truth in auction markets (buyers vs sellers)… you can offer whatever prices you want but you don’t print a sale until some agrees to buy. You can be a thirsty, various aged / economic situated male but that doesn’t mean you’re necessarily bringing what she needs to the table. The 30’s that I have talked to, current excluded, have been pretty available. Admittedly not scientific whatsoever.

Wanting Monogamy as 1,946 Men Await My Swipe (Published 2017)

They met on Bumble and fell into a fun, one-night-a-week, nonexclusive routine — until she realized she liked him.

www.nytimes.com

While I think this was a childless woman with 1,946 swipes in her queue, I don't think it's unrealistic for a single mom to have 700-1,000 pending swipes.

If a single mom gets on a swipe app and has 700-1,000 pending swipes, there will still be enough men in that group who will commit to her for an extended period.

Female abundance is unreal.

There are a large percentage of men who are completely sexless. Some of these sexless men would take a single mom as an relationship option.