What is Your Stance on Getting into Committed Relationships with Single Moms?

[Dr.Suave]

A lot of single moms are losers. They made bad decisions on the person to marry when they had a lot of options.

It's a bigger problem when childless men end up with single moms of children under 18. There are childless men thirsty enough to make that a reality.

Not all of them, but a lot of them. I just have to agree. I like your views on this.

 

[alvinkels]

Mum was a single fortunately I didn't grow up like others but I certainly know the effect it had. My mum married earlier I was like 6 years but I swear I will never deal with an single no matter what. If we are friends I can be a good uncle to the kids because their innocent but I will never deal with a single mum no matter what her got her into it.

 

[EyeBRollin]

The same could be said for divorced men as well, so it's not gender related although my dad divorced my mom and was a great man, definitely NOT a loser and he chose wisely the second time round.

Not the same. When a woman chooses a poor mate she completely ruins her life and it’s not salvageable. Men can always start over after a failed marriage.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Not the same. When a woman chooses a poor mate she completely ruins her life and it’s not salvageable. Men can always start over after a failed marriage.

When a woman *has kids* with someone and loses the relationship it’s not salvageable. If there is a childless divorce it’s not anything to worry about.

 

[EyeBRollin]

When a woman *has kids* with someone and loses the relationship it’s not salvageable. If there is a childless divorce it’s not anything to worry about.

True, though even in the case of no kids she still loses that valuable time. Let’s say she was married for only one year. She loses the 2 years prior to the marriage, the 1 year in marriage, 1 year finalizing the divorce, 1 year “healing” from the marriage, then another 1 year going through her “single” hve phase. That’s minimum 6 years right there…

 

[EyeBRollin]

@EyeBRollin
She doesn't "lose" if she learned something valuable from it no matter how long it lasted.

My belief albeit not a very popular one round here, which is fine and I accept even though I disagree.

Failed relationships are nothing but trauma for women. The fewer she has, the better off she is for a lifelong partnership with her husband. There are no moral victories here.

Men, avoid single mothers like the plague.

 

[Dr.Suave]

After many years, he is still unable to maintain a LTR with any woman, he is 100% commitment averse, unable to bond.

So basically she turned him into a plate spinner?

 

[Divorced w 3]

True, though even in the case of no kids she still loses that valuable time. Let’s say she was married for only one year. She loses the 2 years prior to the marriage, the 1 year in marriage, 1 year finalizing the divorce, 1 year “healing” from the marriage, then another 1 year going through her “single” hve phase. That’s minimum 6 years right there…

True also. The timeline is maybe a bit longer in your view though. So the healing, divorce process are possibly wrapped into the same timeline. The dating can start sooner than a year although often not recommended.

I do agree though, generally, stay away from someone whose recently in the process of divorce, and if you must go out with them, find out what kind of work they’ve done on themselves, how long it’s been, and listen to see if any bitterness comes through about the ex which is a bad sign.

speaking for myself, I needed almost a year. I went out and had non committed sex though over the course of the process. I tried dating once in the summer and was called out immediately on it for the aforementioned.

 

[Divorced w 3]

@EyeBRollin
She doesn't "lose" if she learned something valuable from it no matter how long it lasted.

My belief albeit not a very popular one round here, which is fine and I accept even though I disagree.

Personally, I take away something valuable from all my experiences, positive and negative.

It would also depend on how resilient she is and mentally/emotionally stable in general.

Again jmo, speaking from personal experience when LTRs have ended and wouldn't imagine it would be any different if lord forbid my marriage ended for whatever reason.

I'm about as resilient as they come and this has been time tested many times. I don't think I'm alone in that either.

And it can be the same for men, I know men including one of my brothers who became completely destroyed after his college relationship ended. She dumped him.

After many years, he is still unable to maintain a LTR with any woman, he is 100% commitment averse, unable to bond.

This has been said so many times, but life, love, relationships, human beings etc are never black and white.

"That which does not kill you makes you stronger." -- Friedrich Nietzsche

When did you get divorced?

 

[Divorced w 3]

I'm not divorced. I .. imagine …

I could be wrong

But you're right, I have never experienced divorce

Ok thanks

 

[Whydomyeyeshurt]

I currently have two plates spinning. One is a single mom and the other one has no kids. I like them both so we'll see where this goes. I also have two kids of my own. I was seeing a woman briefly who had a kid but the dad was a deadbeat and never around so she was always busy with her kid. Logistically, we never really had time to hang out together so that plate broke.

A boundary I set with any woman I'm seeing that has kids is that I will not meet your children for a very long time. This is for two reasons. One, I happen to like kids and I don't want to enter into the emotional landscape of coming to really like someone else's children, but then having to end the relationship. Also, I don't think it's appropriate to enter into those children's lives as a potential, positive masculine presence only to leave shortly thereafter.

This sort of thins the field to moms who have a very robust co-parenting plan with their ex so they have more time for me. My kids live in another city so while I talk to them on the phone daily I only see them every other weekend. So I myself also have more time.

In my view a benefit to dating other parents, and someone else mentioned this above, is that we're in similar phases of life and there's a lot to relate to.

But just as somebody else said I don't understand why a childless man would get together with a mom. A buddy of mine has done that and has become a total blue pill cuck. The woman even kept her pedophile ex-husband out of jail so she could still get child support from him. On top of that, she came to gain access to my buddy's house So it's a real cluster.

 

[Solomon]

I think dating single moms whose kids are out of the household or grown is circumstantial
If you're a man 40+ it's gonna be unavoidable to deal with them
Me personally I have never been in a full relationship with a single mom outside of FWB
It just never works most single mothers are broke, have baby daddy drama, no time or all of the above
Even if you find one that has all her shyt together there is always something off i.e. personality, long distance, desperate(typically those are the ones that want you to meet their kids right away a huge RED FLAG and no no for me or wanna be exclusives) or something else
A lot of single mothers in their 40s just want some Good D lol

To many single women out here without kids but as you get older you gotta be realistic

Just my opinion

 

[SW15]

A lot of single mothers in their 40s just want some Good D lol

Recreational use only. No need to commit there.

If you're a man 40+ it's gonna be unavoidable to deal with them

To many single women out here without kids but as you get older you gotta be realistic

I think even an older single, childless man can demand to only date childless single women in an exclusive committed relationship. I also see this changing as the Millennials are starting to enter their 40s. Millennial childlessness at age 40 is increasing but is still difficult to find. I know more 34-40 year old Millennials with children than without children but my social circle is not a representative sample.

When I go out in the real world and do approach sessions, I am less likely to encounter childless, 30 somethings who are willing to field my approach than going through a swipe app and seeing a lot of childless 30 something. On the swipe app, it's all an illusion. Those childless 30 something still usually won't swipe right on me. It's difficult to get right swipes.

I can identify with the point of view that a late 30s/early 40s man is more likely in real world activity to encounter prospects close to his own age who already have kids. Older guys today (45-64 in 2023) are still more likely to deal with women with kids in their interactions, and the 50+ set is likely dealing with similarly aged women with children who are 18+, some of who are at least partially independent.

 

[tightgrp]

You are underestimating the demand for childless 30 somethings and even 30 something single moms. Male thirst is at epidemic and pandemic levels.

And it is quite apparent in the way women think and act nowadays.

 

[tightgrp]

Truth is, single moms have been humbled.

Bullsh*t. They marry themselves to their kids, animals, job, take from the plethora of symps willing to play second, third, fourth, tenth fiddle for the promise of poosy, ride that c0ck carousel and pretend to be wholesome just like all the rest.