I need some texting advice

[BackInTheGame78]

@Divorced w 3 clearly you're a great puller of women , but after the first date, how do you keep it going? Assuming you want to.

Reading OP's initial post, this is where he ran into problems, after the initial pull and first date.

If she said she'd let you know her availability at end of week, would you let it go for an entire week like OP did?

Or text every couple of days, keeping the momentum going and fire burning? A bit of push/pull?

What's your game after initial pull?

Talking to men in a support group I used to attend and my brothers, this was a major problem.

They were great at initially pulling and getting the first date, but weren't able to maintain it, maintain the momentum and woman's interest. Waited too long to reach out again, too much push.

Any thoughts on that?

P.S. Re tonight's date, I think you've got this one, she sounds into you and excited!

I've done drinks and bowling on first, had a blast, great way to connect too.

Have fun.

A woman that's interested would likely not wait to the end of the week to hear back from you, she would send a message prior to that.

OP has a woman with low interest. That's his issue and working on his texting ability isn't going to solve it.

He is looking for a solution to the wrong problem.

 

[sceneparade]

A woman that's interested would likely not wait to the end of the week to hear back from you, she would send a message prior to that.

OP has a woman with low interest. That's his issue and working on his texting ability isn't going to solve it.

He is looking for a solution to the wrong problem.

Well if that is the case, then she lost interest for two possible reasons. One, her friend went back and shared our conversation with her about how the date went/what I thought, or the date went tits up. She was just as flirty and bantering after the date as before. And the fact she went distant after my conversation with her friend suggests her friend grassed me up and put her friend off. In addition to that, as soon as her friend said that the date girl has a lot going on with finding new work etc, the date girl all of a sudden pops up on WhatsApp and texting every 2 mins, saying she needs some space to work on herself as she is becoming overwhelmed. My point is, she started texting again as soon as her friend was talking to me, like they are in constant contact, and therefore sharing information which I believe screwed things up.

My second issue is the differences in approaches to texting. Some Alpha males say you have to keep the fire lit between dates, which means some texting. And others say you wait three days after getting her number and text her to set up a definite date and get off the phone, as you will talk yourself out of a date or lose their interest.

As above poster said, I was on an upswing and then "ghosted" her for a few days before re-initiating. It is possible that put her off.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Well if that is the case, then she lost interest for two possible reasons. One, her friend went back and shared our conversation with her about how the date went/what I thought, or the date went tits up. She was just as flirty and bantering after the date as before. And the fact she went distant after my conversation with her friend suggests her friend grassed me up and put her friend off. In addition to that, as soon as her friend said that the date girl has a lot going on with finding new work etc, the date girl all of a sudden pops up on WhatsApp and texting every 2 mins, saying she needs some space to work on herself as she is becoming overwhelmed. My point is, she started texting again as soon as her friend was talking to me, like they are in constant contact, and therefore sharing information which I believe screwed things up.

My second issue is the differences in approaches to texting. Some Alpha males say you have to keep the fire lit between dates, which means some texting. And others say you wait three days after getting her number and text her to set up a definite date and get off the phone, as you will talk yourself out of a date or lose their interest.

As above poster said, I was on an upswing and then "ghosted" her for a few days before re-initiating. It is possible that put her off.

So if you’re me, and you spent a couple hours with this girl, making out hard but doesn’t give it up, you drop her off and then you get home and realize she left a piece of clothing in your car…., what would you do? Think about it as if you could do it perfectly this time

 

[sceneparade]

So if you’re me, and you spent a couple hours with this girl, making out hard but doesn’t give it up, you drop her off and then you get home and realize she left a piece of clothing in your car…., what would you do? Think about it as if you could do it perfectly this time

Let her know she has left a piece of clothing and to come back to yours to collect? That way you can escalate it towards sex?

 

[Divorced w 3]

Let her know she has left a piece of clothing and to come back to yours to collect? That way you can escalate it towards sex?

Good thinking. Normally yes. Curveball, city girl that doesn’t drive. 50 minutes by car and massive logistics by public transit. Thoughts?

 

[sceneparade]

Good thinking. Normally yes. Curveball, city girl that doesn’t drive. 50 minutes by car and massive logistics by public transit. Thoughts?

Tell her you will come and drop it back at hers, then again escalate towards sex? Otherwise sounds like hassle.

Again, what is the widely accepted view when it comes to texting women? Do you briefly talk and set up a definite date, and then no contact until date. Or do you text, text and text to build rapport?

 

[Divorced w 3]

Tell her you will come and drop it back at hers, then again escalate towards sex? Otherwise sounds like hassle.

Again, what is the widely accepted view when it comes to texting women? Do you briefly talk and set up a definite date, and then no contact until date. Or do you text, text and text to build rapport?

Good idea. Women don’t accidentally forget shyt and even if she did, she most certainly by now would have thought to ask me. Judging from the way the last two times now have gone I’m greater than likely probable that she left it.

so Yeah I’m going to say something like, ‘you forgot your beanie, baby’ but not until I have something else to say when she follows up. Texting to me has been a slippery slope. I may even do the above on a voice memo. I have killed relationships on texting. Get to the point and get out. She knows I’m traveling, I intentionally built in that constraint.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Prob wait a day at least

 

[sceneparade]

A woman that's interested would likely not wait to the end of the week to hear back from you, she would send a message prior to that.

OP has a woman with low interest. That's his issue and working on his texting ability isn't going to solve it.

He is looking for a solution to the wrong problem.

So what is your approach to texting? Text only to set up a definite date and no texting until date? Or build rapport?

 

[sceneparade]

Good idea. Women don’t accidentally forget shyt and even if she did, she most certainly by now would have thought to ask me. Judging from the way the last two times now have gone I’m greater than likely probable that she left it.

so Yeah I’m going to say something like, ‘you forgot your beanie, baby’ but not until I have something else to say when she follows up. Texting to me has been a slippery slope. I may even do the above on a voice memo. I have killed relationships on texting. Get to the point and get out. She knows I’m traveling, I intentionally built in that constraint.

There is a very likely possibility that she has not only move on but blocked me, as her WhatApp profile picture remains the same for the last few days, which she normally always changes. My point is, it is very likely I will bump into her again in the short- to medium-term. Would you flat out ignore her based on her blocking you, or politely say hello if she goes out of her way to say hello on passing?

 

[Divorced w 3]

There is a very likely possibility that she has not only move on but blocked me, as her WhatApp profile picture remains the same for the last few days, which she normally always changes. My point is, it is very likely I will bump into her again in the short- to medium-term. Would you flat out ignore her based on her blocking you, or politely say hello if she goes out of her way to say hello on passing?

I don’t know it’s certain she blocked you. But I would just be cordial. Hello, how are ya, smile, keep moving. Smack another girls ass in front of her if the opportunity presents itself. Best thing you can do is get more women in your orbit. Go out, meet people, just talk to other girls. You’ll feel better and you’ll care a hell of a lot less

 

[BackInTheGame78]

So what is your approach to texting? Text only to set up a definite date and no texting until date? Or build rapport?

I am a huge proponent of not ghosting until the date. All that has ever led to is a lot of flakes for me.

I wouldn't necessarily call it rapport, I would just call it having fun and interesting convos. Sometimes even playing a question game with them where we can each ask one question a day of the other person that could be anything. They love that one...

It's taken me a while to develop my methods of testing but suffice to say that it never results in a lost date, usually in women becoming more interested in seeing me.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Well if that is the case, then she lost interest for two possible reasons. One, her friend went back and shared our conversation with her about how the date went/what I thought, or the date went tits up. She was just as flirty and bantering after the date as before. And the fact she went distant after my conversation with her friend suggests her friend grassed me up and put her friend off. In addition to that, as soon as her friend said that the date girl has a lot going on with finding new work etc, the date girl all of a sudden pops up on WhatsApp and texting every 2 mins, saying she needs some space to work on herself as she is becoming overwhelmed. My point is, she started texting again as soon as her friend was talking to me, like they are in constant contact, and therefore sharing information which I believe screwed things up.

My second issue is the differences in approaches to texting. Some Alpha males say you have to keep the fire lit between dates, which means some texting. And others say you wait three days after getting her number and text her to set up a definite date and get off the phone, as you will talk yourself out of a date or lose their interest.

As above poster said, I was on an upswing and then "ghosted" her for a few days before re-initiating. It is possible that put her off.

If the woman was interested she would be contacting you first so you wouldn't be able to ghost her, eswpcially after the date.

Likely found someone else she is more interested in. It happens, no use analyzing, spend that energy on talking to and meeting new women.

 

[sceneparade]

I am a huge proponent of not ghosting until the date. All that has ever led to is a lot of flakes for me.

I wouldn't necessarily call it rapport, I would just call it having fun and interesting convos. Sometimes even playing a question game with them where we can each ask one question a day of the other person that could be anything. They love that one...

It's taken me a while to develop my methods of testing but suffice to say that it never results in a lost date, usually in women becoming more interested in seeing me.

I feel that is the way our conversations were before and just after the date. We were flirting back and forth, having fun and teasing each other. So maybe what I did was actually the right approach leading up to the date.

Thanks for advice

 

[sceneparade]

If the woman was interested she would be contacting you first so you wouldn't be able to ghost her, eswpcially after the date.

Likely found someone else she is more interested in. It happens, no use analyzing, spend that energy on talking to and meeting new women.

I may be wrong, but I am not sure I agree. She has been busy with changing jobs, going for assessments, drugs tests etc.

As I said, I could be wrong, but I believe her mate knifed me in the back, so to speak. This is just based, logically, on us communicating on the Wednesday, no problem, and then her friend and I communicating and discussing my date with the girl, and the girl date then going cold. Also, when texting the friend on the Monday, and being asked out by her friend to go go-karting and politely declining, the date girl popped up, conveniently, and said she needed spaced. To me, it makes sense I was shafted, but I may be wrong.

 

[Divorced w 3]

If the woman was interested she would be contacting you first so you wouldn't be able to ghost her, eswpcially after the date.

Likely found someone else she is more interested in. It happens, no use analyzing, spend that energy on talking to and meeting new women.

Right?

so figure this one out. Intense make out session. Asked me to go out when I get back from trip. Leaves her hat in my car. How long you think it should take for a text from her?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Right?

so figure this one out. Intense make out session. Asked me to go out when I get back from trip. Leaves her hat in my car. How long you think it should take for a text from her?

The next morning if she is interested...I don't put anything into makeout sessions btw...some of the most intense ones I have ever had led to me getting the "I just didn't feel a spark" texts the next day or later that night.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I may be wrong, but I am not sure I agree. She has been busy with changing jobs, going for assessments, drugs tests etc.

As I said, I could be wrong, but I believe her mate knifed me in the back, so to speak. This is just based, logically, on us communicating on the Wednesday, no problem, and then her friend and I communicating and discussing my date with the girl, and the girl date then going cold. Also, when texting the friend on the Monday, and being asked out by her friend to go go-karting and politely declining, the date girl popped up, conveniently, and said she needed spaced. To me, it makes sense I was shafted, but I may be wrong.

This is justification and trying to reason with your ego.

I stand by what I said. No women is too busy to text a guy she is interested in.

 

[Divorced w 3]

The next morning if she is interested...I don't put anything into makeout sessions btw...some of the most intense ones I have ever had led to me getting the "I just didn't feel a spark" texts the next day or later that night.

Interesting, can’t disagree yet nothing . She asked me to text her when I got home, I did not, I basically passed out the second I walked in.

 

[DonJuanjr]

btw...some of the most intense ones I have ever had led to me getting the "I just didn't feel a spark" texts the next day or later that night.

I assume you tried to escalate, and was shot down?