That is some experience there.
Just curious how old are you? And have you had your T levels checked or tzlk to a doctor about the lack of drive?
I'm 50 in a few months. But I wasn't any different at 35. Like I said, I don't like being naked AT ALL, nor do I like
to be touched, even in 'pleasurable' ways. I have no idea whatsoever about flirting or the social to and fro that
leads to intimacy, I'm too direct for that and completely miss the subtle signals women give. I haven't had my
T levels checked, it's not something that gets much funding in the UK and if I'm honest all a higher T level will
probably bring out of me is more anger meltdowns/outbursts, which I could do without. It's really not that
unusual for people with autism to have a confused and/or fractious relationship with intimacy and sexual
contact. All I know is that sexual contact raises my anxiety through the roof, I tried for years to be like every
one else and just do normal stuff but I just can't relax and get out of my head. I've tried drink and drugs to
try and loosen up a bit and be more relaxed but it just doesn't work. In almost two decades I refused to get
naked with my ex-wife. Whenever we did the deed I was always partially clothed, it may be linked to my dislike
of physical touch creating a barrier between skin on skin. Who knows? I'm pretty broken and it can't be fixed
so I just have to try and manifest some acceptance of the situation. It doesn't cure my loneliness but at least
I don't have to meet anyone else's standards of whats considered normal anymore. In one of our last conversations
my ex wife (rather bluntly for her) said to me "You don't like women and you don't like sex". With reviews like that
it's no wonder I'm tapped out of the whole thing.