Humiliated field report! 1st date left early

[manfrombelow]

1,5 hour is more than enough time to get a good impression of someone. The only reason you feel "humiliated " is because you went panic mode and pushed for even more passive beta date time by suggesting the cinema. BORING. Eating and cinema are things you do AFTER she proofed to you she is worthy of it.

Thank you brother. I'm noting this down because it's damn correct. The moment she said she wanted to leave, I SHOULD NOT HAVE raised the topic of going to the cinema.

 

[EyeBRollin]

OP, let this marinate for a few days. Do you see her at work on the daily or is she in a different department?

 

[manfrombelow]

Was it just a long slow ramp down from interest to disinterest without any defining moment or statement?

I think this.

 

[manfrombelow]

OP, let this marinate for a few days. Do you see her at work on the daily or is she in a different department?

Daily, same department, even same team.

 

[manfrombelow]

But let's say she did leave because of the vibe. That's why you shouldn't go out to eat with a woman during the first date , maybe not even on a second date. What the fell did she do to deserve being fed by you?? A simple walk , or maybe some drinks is more than enough. It gives both you and her the opportunity to leave at anytime without making things too awkward.

Well, I took her to this beer bar where they served great food and beer, and where they had these parallel seats that are perfect for a SS member's first date (instead of the opposite seats), and this is the venue where I brought at least 5 chicks to and eventually had sex with on 1st dates in past occasions.

 

[SW15]

This chick is my co-worker.

OP, let this marinate for a few days. Do you see her at work on the daily or is she in a different department?

Daily, same department, even same team.

This is about as bad of shiiting in your own backyard as you can get. This is so anti Don Juan. That's some serious beta male behavior,

Only use close co-workers like that for social circle introductions.

So I just got home from a date, in which she initiated to leave early. She asked if I wanted to eat anything more because she wanted to leave because she was "tired".

During our short date, I didn't get to kino or touch or escalate physically, simply because I had no chance, and I didn't feel the vibe was "right". When she said she wanted to leave, I proposed we go to the cinema, which she declined. I also proposed to take her home, which she declined and said she wanted to leave on her own.

The only "hope" (sounds desperate I know) I got, was when she wanted to split the bill which I said this was on me, she said "OK next time's my treat".

Tl; dr version: 1st date left early, and I didn't get anything even just a kiss.

I feel kind of humiliated and defeated. Please give me something, anything. Thank you guys!

Even if you two weren't co-workers, this was a low quality date. Under more normal circumstances, this wouldn't even warrant a phone call/text message to set up a 2nd date. This is the type of woman that a suave man would ghost after a first date.

 

[manfrombelow]

@Gamisch :

 

[EyeBRollin]

Daily, same department, even same team.

Bro… why? Even if she does/did like you, she may have second thoughts about being involved with a close co-worker.

 

[manfrombelow]

Bro… why? Even if she does/did like you, she may have second thoughts about being involved with a close co-worker.

I know. I know. You can browse my past posts to see how much I am against dating co-workers but for this one I just can't resist the temptation to seduce and fvck her because I like her so much.

there, you're satisfied?

 

[manfrombelow]

This is about as bad of shiiting in your own backyard as you can get. This is so anti Don Juan. That's some serious beta male behavior,

Only use close co-workers like that for social circle introductions.



Even if you two weren't co-workers, this was a low quality date. Under more normal circumstances, this wouldn't even warrant a phone call/text message to set up a 2nd date. This is the type of woman that a suave man would ghost after a first date.

Please keep going. Somehow the more I read posts like these, the better I feel. Right now I feel at least 80% better than when I just got back from the date.

 

[SW15]

Please keep going. Somehow the more I read posts like these, the better I feel. Right now I feel at least 80% better than when I just got back from the date.

Live and learn. The best thing that you can do here is realize that this is a lost cause, learn lessons from this, and move forward. Unfortunately, you'll have to be reminded of a failed first date at work for the foreseeable future until either you or her get a new job.

I have had instances where I got rejected by women at my gym and still had to see them until they stopped going to that gym. That was unpleasant.

 

[manfrombelow]

Now that my mind is not as clouded as one hour ago, I think that the ball now is in her court, not mine.

I have shown up, I have presented myself as best as I could, so now it's her calling.

If she feels like she still likes me enough to engage in at least one more intimate date, she'll let me know.

So I have decided I WILL NOT INITIATE any date with her.

What do you guys think?

 

[EyeBRollin]

So I have decided I WILL NOT INITIATE any date with her.

What do you guys think?

I always favor making the girl reject me instead of putting the ball in her court. I would call and ask her out again in 5-9 days. Meanwhile, act normal at work like it never happened. I might even work from home a few of those days if that is possible.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Now that my mind is not as clouded as one hour ago, I think that the ball now is in her court, not mine.

I have shown up, I have presented myself as best as I could, so now it's her calling.

If she feels like she still likes me enough to engage in at least one more intimate date, she'll let me know.

So I have decided I WILL NOT INITIATE any date with her.

What do you guys think?

Wait some time and ask her out again. You know the deal, everything but a yes or a counter offer is a no.

 

[manfrombelow]

Wait some time and ask her out again. You know the deal, everything but a yes or a counter offer is a no.

You think I should do that? Asking her out again?

 

[Dr.Suave]

You think I should do that? Asking her out again?

Yes. It will give you closure

 

[manfrombelow]

I always favor making the girl reject me instead of putting the ball in her court. I would call and ask her out again in 5-9 days. Meanwhile, act normal at work like it never happened. I might even work from home a few of those days if that is possible.

So you're in the same team with Dr.Suave? If you were me you would just ask her out the second round?

About the awkwardness, I really have no problems with that. You might call me crazy but I really don't have any problem seeing her at work daily.

 

[EyeBRollin]

So you're in the same team with Dr.Suave? If you were me you would just ask her out the second round?

Yes, I would. Once I go down that path, I want her to make a decision. Asking her out again will force her to do that. “Closure.”

 

[manfrombelow]

@oldmanofthesea please brother, you got any more thing to say to me?

 

[oldmanofthesea]

Sure - so I will circle back to my first reply where I mentioned we should put aside the fact that it's a bad idea to date a girl you work with..... I wanted to put that aside in order to see what might have gone wrong during the date so any mistakes aren't repeated in future dates with different women.

But in the case of this girl, I would consider this an "out" and I would not pursue her. You work closely with her. I would act like you just had a friendly platonic hang-out with her, and nothing is amiss and nothing has changed.