The Power of Walking Away

[forcerecon01]

thats why i like buddhism. attachment = suffering

 

[Bokanovsky]

So, I do not need to assume what she did to him. The point is (as I just said), whatever she did to him, that was enough for him.

So what is the point of this thread? Why did this event make such a strong impression on you? Are you shocked by the fact that the guy wanted to get away from a psychopath?

 

[wifehunter]

don't just walk away

moon walk away : )

 

[Serenity]

When you are truly in love with a person, you will find yourself taking/accepting things that you NEVER thought you would accept.

I totally get that. The abuse I took came from the last woman on the planet who should have dealt it, my mother. She lied, manipulated and hurt me. Before that I would have thought I would never accept that, but she was my mother after all (one of many excuses)... Now I will never accept that, no matter who they are, period.

There was times I wished it was just a girlfriend, they can at least be replaced, but the woman who gave birth to me remains the same whatever I choose to tell myself. I considered my situation worse than just being in love with some girl for that reason.

I walked away from that sh!t for about a year, only came back when I knew I would walk at any sign of such behavior. So I did occasionally for about another year, this time being taken a lot more seriously with her knowing I had no problem just walking away. She's not giving me BS these days and most interactions are genuinely nice.

The love in my marriage is strong, but no love can blind me again, I'd rather kill myself than to choose the suffering of denial again. May sound extreme, but my conviction is very strong about this.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

So what is the point of this thread? Why did this event make such a strong impression on you?

I think I made that point very clear.

Tell ya what; actually read it first, then holla at me.

Are you shocked by the fact that the guy wanted to get away from a psychopath?

She is a psychopath, eh?

And you know this, based on what?

Sounds like someone is assuming.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

I totally get that. The abuse I took came from the last woman on the planet who should have dealt it, my mother. She lied, manipulated and hurt me. Before that I would have thought I would never accept that, but she was my mother after all (one of many excuses)... Now I will never accept that, no matter who they are, period.

Aw sh!t. Sounds like you may have been dealing with a narcissist parent.

Narcissism is a REAL thing, and I know because Ive dealt with a narcissist spouse.

The sh!t is real and by the time you find out that you've been victimized by those people, the damage have already been done.

However, once you've recovered (which could take a longggg process), you make a vow to yourself to NEVER be a victim again...as you've done, and as I've done.

There was times I wished it was just a girlfriend, they can at least be replaced, but the woman who gave birth to me remains the same whatever I choose to tell myself. I considered my situation worse than just being in love with some girl for that reason.

Yeah, getting it from a parent is bad, ESPECIALLY as a child.

I've dealt with a narcissist, substance abusing, alcoholic father.

Nowadays, it is more so indirectly. I can really care less what my father does to himself now, but since it negatively effects my mother, then it effects me.

I walked away from that sh!t for about a year, only came back when I knew I would walk at any sign of such behavior. So I did occasionally for about another year, this time being taken a lot more seriously with her knowing I had no problem just walking away. She's not giving me BS these days and most interactions are genuinely nice.

The love in my marriage is strong, but no love can blind me again, I'd rather kill myself than to choose the suffering of denial again. May sound extreme, but my conviction is very strong about this.

No, Im with you.

Your guards are up now, and you've seen just how evil people can be.

My convictions are also strong and I can confidently state; NEVER AGAIN.

 

[Gamisch]

No need to over-analyze. The fact of the matter is; he walked away and she, in dramatic fashion, begged for him to return.

If you want to let your imagination run wild on what she did to him, go ahead. I will leave you to it.

The point is; he apparently had the power to walk away from it all.

And that is the message.

M kay. I don't over analyze anything, like I said in the paragraph you didn't quote, I agree that walking away CAN BE a great tool if it's not used by a butthurt man child. I just wonder what the context is behind that man's action. This seems more like male cheerleading. The male "you go girl". For all we know he got in the car again like a little biatch and whatever happened in my imagination continues.

 

[Giovanni SouthSide]

Silence and distance allows you to gauge her emotional investment because if she doesn’t reach out to you to clean her sh1t, she merits no further contact. I don't got time for fence sitters.
Being able to walk away without any arguments or explanations is the only thing that will temporary bruise a woman's self esteem until she throws a hook with bait to the back up fool just incase you fell off.
At the very end they don't give a damn if you walk away but they do remember that one dude who dropped her like a bad habit.
You walk away out of self-principle.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

M kay. I don't over analyze anything, like I said in the paragraph you didn't quote, I agree that walking away CAN BE a great tool if it's not used by a butthurt man child. I just wonder what the context is behind that man's action. This seems more like male cheerleading. The male "you go girl". For all we know he got in the car again like a little biatch and whatever happened in my imagination continues.

Well again, "for all we know".

That is speculation.

While you are speculating and using your "power ranger" imagination to add to a scenario that you know nothing about, I am sticking with the facts, which are...

1. I saw with my own two eyes the man walking away.

2. I also saw with my own two eyes a woman pleading for the man to return, as he walked away from her.

What happened before or after I saw what I saw is irrelevant.

Even if the man was a butt hurt child, that has nothing to do with her chasing after this butt hurt child, does it?

No, it doesn't.

Your points are in-damn-valid, is what I am trying to say.

Second, as far as male cheerleading and "you go girl" is concerned; think about that sh!t the next time you give someone a "like" on his post...because when you do, it is like saying "you go, girl".

Btw, it aint no "you go girl", but more of a..

*daps* "Good sh!t, homie."

I would expect any adult with common sense to know the difference.

 

[Serenity]

I mean dude was 5-6 blocks away. In my neck of the woods, that would be about half a mile. So you sped up your walk and got close enough to HEAR what she was actually saying? Pleading, begging him to get back in car?

I wasn't there, but if that's the situation that really unfolded I'd find it most likely there was really loud yelling.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

 

[Grounded eagle]

Great story.It’s also important to remember that you don’t walk away to prove a point,or as some gambit in a grand scheme to get her to straighten up,but rather you do it because you have self respect and want to remove yourself from a situation you find unsatisfactory.When you walk away,it needs to be genuine.You need to mean it.

 

[jaymbrs]

Keep in mind, walking away only works once or twice with the same woman. After that, it's not as powerful and she'll either stop going after you or she'll feel less remorseful about her actions.

 

[djreez88]

The power isn't really knowing you can walk away, it's knowing you can stay away and live a great life without that particular woman in it. I know I can do that because that was my baseline before I met my wife, if anything I was skeptical about starting a relationship and it was only eased by reminding myself I can return to that baseline of having a great life already. If being with my wife feels worse than the way I felt before I met her, then walking away is a gain, not a loss.

It's why I tell guys to work on their self-esteem, their confidence and finding happiness in life without a woman. To establish that baseline, to use that as a bar for women, a woman must be and remain better than that to be worth staying with.

If a guy doesn't think highly of himself and considers his life to be pretty crap without a woman, then he's willing to take a lot more crap before walking away. That's because being with a sh!t woman is better than how they felt being alone without any woman. We compare all the time, if we're in the gutter before this angel appears and she turns out to be the devil instead we'll just take the abuse until it's worse than it was without her.

This is a great post by OP, I'm not giving critcism here. This thread just gave me this perspective when contemplating my own experience and principles, haven't seen it this way myself before now.

100% this! That base line is SO important to have! It's a reset every man needs in his arsenal before even considering a relationship. That and the ability to walk away makes you powerful as a man! Good post OP!

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

Yeah that makes sense. The part that's throwing me is the 5-6 blocks, again in my neck of the woods that's half a mile. Can't really see much of anything from that distance, enough to warrant speeding up one's walk to investigate further, but perhaps in Venom's neck of the woods, it's a shorter distance.

In any event, good story and message.

The car had stopped a little across the direct entrance/exit from the street.

There was no traffic coming on to the street or leaving the street.

The car was stopped there (due to a lack of traffic) long enough for me to catch up (on a speed walk) and hear her carrying out the way that she was.

Even at the distance you could tell that something was wrong because the dude stood in FRONT of car and the dude had his arms in a motion of "Oh, are you gonna hit me?" and she was yelling loud enough to hear from the distance.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

Keep in mind, walking away only works once or twice with the same woman. After that, it's not as powerful and she'll either stop going after you or she'll feel less remorseful about her actions.

Brooo. Exactly!!!