Cold Approach in Grocery Store

[CyrusTheGreat]

I read Roosh's "Day Bang" soon after it came out in 2011. I was in my late 20s then and new to a city. It was transformative for me because it enabled me to learn day game. I got more of a return on the tactics in "Day Bang" in the first few years after reading it than in recent years.

I had heard of non-bar approaching as far back as 2005, when I first heard about guys going to yoga classes and getting dates there. It took me many years to figure out how to put it together in terms of non-bar approaching. Even as far back as 2005, I didn't want to be reliant on bars and had wanted to do non-bar approaching. "Day Bang" was the best manual for me in terms of learning how to do non-bar approaching.

Would I recommend it in 2022-2023? Probably not. It is out of print and there are other decent options. I like both "The Rational Male" and "The Rational Male: The Players Handbook". Both are long reads and more philosophical/inner game oriented than outer game and tactic. I also read Richard Cooper's "The Unplugged Alpha" and found it to be a captivating book. It flows great and moves fast.

Thanks for the suggestion. I've read "The Rational Male" and "The Unplugged Alpha". I'll look into "The Rational Male: The Players Handbook" as well. However, my problem is using RP in practice as I became RP-aware some 2 years ago, and I've built a solid theoretical foundation. So, I'm now looking into resources to help with my practice, especially the game. So if you have any suggestion on improving game, I'd be more than grateful!

I don't do either of those style of dates. Coffee dates are difficult for escalation. I'm not a street food guy.

It still takes me effort to show up to a first date, so I want to position myself best for a good first date.

Pretty insightful! What kind of first date venues to you pick so that it's easier to escalate?!?

 

[SW15]

Thanks for the suggestion. I've read "The Rational Male" and "The Unplugged Alpha". I'll look into "The Rational Male: The Players Handbook" as well. However, my problem is using RP in practice as I became RP-aware some 2 years ago, and I've built a solid theoretical foundation. So, I'm now looking into resources to help with my practice, especially the game. So if you have any suggestion on improving game, I'd be more than grateful!

You're in good shape if you've already read "The Rational Male" and "The Unplugged Alpha". I don't think you'd need "The Rational Male: The Players Handbook" right now.

Do you want to do more approaches in bars or non-bar venues right now?

Pretty insightful! What kind of first date venues to you pick so that it's easier to escalate?!?

Bars are best for escalation. 1-2 drinks in a bar with a decent environment is good enough for escalation, so long as you manage the date start time well. No meal dates, no coffee dates, and very few activity dates make sense. The first date is about escalating as much as you can. There's no guarantee that you'll see her again, so you will want to escalate to sex so long as you make it good sex, which is somewhat difficult to do on a first date. It's better not to have sex than to have lower quality sex. If you pound her well on a first date, that gives you a better chance to see her again.

 

[CyrusTheGreat]

You're in good shape if you've already read "The Rational Male" and "The Unplugged Alpha". I don't think you'd need "The Rational Male: The Players Handbook" right now.

Do you want to do more approaches in bars or non-bar venues right now?

I rather try non-bar venues as I rarely drink, and usually find the bars too loud to get my voice heard properly (I know that this is a weakness of mine and I'll work on it). So ideally, I'm looking advice on non-bar approaches (hence why this thread is about grocery store approaches).

Bars are best for escalation. 1-2 drinks in a bar with a decent environment is good enough for escalation, so long as you manage the date start time well. No meal dates, no coffee dates, and very few activity dates make sense. The first date is about escalating as much as you can. There's no guarantee that you'll see her again, so you will want to escalate to sex so long as you make it good sex, which is somewhat difficult to do on a first date. It's better not to have sex than to have lower quality sex. If you pound her well on a first date, that gives you a better chance to see her again.

I see your point here. Actually, I've never tried bars for the first date. Even though, I'm not that much of a bar guy, I'll probably give it a go a few times and see how it works for me. However, for the first dates from OLD (I know we were talking cold approach here), I feel like an easy-to-escape (and cheap) 1st date venue is a good idea if you want an easy way out from catfishes, crazies, etc. What do you think?

 

[SW15]

I rather try non-bar venues as I rarely drink, and usually find the bars too loud to get my voice heard properly (I know that this is a weakness of mine and I'll work on it). So ideally, I'm looking advice on non-bar approaches (hence why this thread is about grocery store approaches).

I have been more non-bar than bar oriented in terms of initial approaching, so I get this. Some bars are naturally loud so you're likely to need to do some research on quieter venues for hosting your dates. My voice carries well and I still prefer quieter venues.

I see your point here. Actually, I've never tried bars for the first date. Even though, I'm not that much of bar guy, I'll probably give it a go a few times and see how it works for me. However, for the first dates from OLD (I know we were talking cold approach here), I feel like an easy-to-escape (and cheap) 1st date venue is a good idea if you want an easy way out from catfishes, crazies, etc. What do you think?

You still have some beta unplugging to do. "The Unplugged Alpha" definitely makes a good case as to why not to use swipe apps or even Instagram DMs.

Approaching strangers and having a short conversation is a way to initially screen for crazies and catfishes for free. The idea is that you have an in-person experience immediately and that immediate in-person experience is supposed to better position you for a higher quality first date.

Delete all swipe apps now if you haven't already.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

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@Divorced w 3

Man don't listen to cats, she don't know wtf she talkin about lol.

As a woman, there's nothing special about grocery store game.

@Divorced w 3

So basically, what she is saying is..

If you are grocery shopping and see an attractive woman you'd like to "get to know", you are not to approach the woman just based on the mere fact that you are both inside a grocery store.

That is BULLSH!T.

Why would you let this opportunity past you by when it is right there in front of your face?

If your overall game and general energy is a playful c0cky arrogance (per Dan Bacon, there was a thread about him awhile back), your game will work anywhere.

Anywhere except grocery stores, apparently.

I recommend not opening with a compliment (you're cute, your so fine) ugh, an attractive girl hears this all day long from thirsty guys - YAWN.

That is nonsense. Nothing wrong with paying a woman a compliment as long as it is followed by a numbers request/date.

And guys aren't approaching women like that in the public...unless it is at a bar, at the club, or online.

And to test this theory, go to any grocery store (or any public place besides bar or club) and observe.

See how many men are inside approaching women.

Chances are, you won't find a single ONE.

What you said in your previous was so perfect, it's about your energy, your delivery and ability to make her laugh.

So basically, stand there like a court jester juggling apples on a unicycle, in order to razzle and dazzle the woman.

Nonsense.

Step to her like a MAN, ask her for her number, and go Mode One on her before your first date.

Or, if you are REALLY a beast with it, Step to her and go Mode One on her......ARC style.

 

[CyrusTheGreat]

You still have some beta unplugging to do. "The Unplugged Alpha" definitely makes a good case as to why not to use swipe apps or even Instagram DMs.

If I remember correctly, TUA says that there are lots of crazies on dating apps, which I 100% agree with. But it doesn't say not to use them when looking for something not serious (FWB, ONS, etc.)

Approaching strangers and having a short conversation is a way to initially screen for crazies and catfishes for free. The idea is that you have an in-person experience immediately and that immediate in-person experience is supposed to better position you for a higher quality first date.

Very true, this is also my preferred approach (after social circle) for getting with women, and I'm actively working on it. I'll actually planning to post in this or another thread my field reports of my approaches.

Delete all swipe apps now if you haven't already.

I hate dating apps, and I hadn't used them until last week. Right now, however, I just need more experience and data points and OLD is a quick way to get the experience and the data. I'll delete them in a few months time

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

Lol, stop putting words in my mouth, I never said that nor do I believe it to be true.

Learn to read and interpret posts correctly man, geez.

What I meant was when a man has good Game, his game will work anywhere, including but not limited to grocery stores.

SMH that this needed clarifying, lord.

First of all, you did not clarify what you meant by saying that grocery store game is nothing special.

Since you did not clarify it, I clarified it myself..and I took it to mean that you are saying grocery store game is weak.

You said that if a man has strong game it can work anywhere.

Well, if it works at a grocery store, then guess what; it is special.

 

[CyrusTheGreat]

@catsmeow2 & @We_ArE_VeNOM I'm gonna try both approaches enough times, and will get back to you when I have enough data (hopefully in Feb). Then, we'll know which one works better.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

I hate to say this cause at this point I think there's something seriously wrong with your critical thinking skills or perhaps you're intellectually challenged, but...

If you don't know the difference between what you posted above and delivering a short clever funny one-liner at the right opportunity, there's not much to say except brush up on critical thinking skills and/or seek professional help.

Good luck.

Um no. My comprehension skills are superb.

Basically, I am saying that your insistent idea that a man stand there and offer any clever or humorous lines to make the woman laugh...is bullsh!t.

You are also on the record for espousing that a man stand there for 5 minutes of building rapport with the woman (as opposed to Mode One), which is also bullsh!t.

A man does NOT have to do any of that to get the woman...and I am living proof of this.

 

[SargeMaximus]

I do this all the time. Target is one of the best stores to find hot women. It's like a factory of 21-30yo women wearing yoga tights.

Walmart for me but yeah

 

[BillyPilgrim]

First of all, you did not clarify what you meant by saying that grocery store game is nothing special.

Since you did not clarify it, I clarified it myself..and I took it to mean that you are saying grocery store game is weak.

You said that if a man has strong game it can work anywhere.

Well, if it works at a grocery store, then guess what; it is special.

Dude, she didn't clarify b/c she's maximizing the attention she gets from the board. The Ignoring Strategy might work well here.

And no, she's not exiting the conversation. LOL.

Edited to bold the above.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

I'm not saying that kind of starter wouldn't work with a nice old lady/man. But a 40yrs old guy going to a 25, 30yrs old woman with that opener would receive a 'what's with this weirdo' combined with a 'go away' look in maybe 99/100 cases.

How would you know? Have you actually tried it? How often? Or are you just theorizing what would happen?

 

[BillyPilgrim]

And who's giving me that attraction, you! And @We_ArE_VeNOM .

If you guys would simply allow me to have an opinion without refuting, arguing and/or continuing to engage me, I would receive no attention which is fine with me, preferable actually.

Which is why I deactivated my DM function.

Thanks a bunch in advance.

I cannot state this more simply:

Me and everyone else: 1+1=2

You: (3.5*(4*(3-1))/2)/7)=2

Woman, hush.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

Dude, she didn't clarify b/c she's maximizing the attention she gets from the board. The Ignoring Strategy might work well here.

And no, she's not exiting the conversation. LOL.

Edited to bold the above.

Bro, she is baiting me to engage her.

And it is apparently working lol.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

And who's giving me that attraction, you! And @We_ArE_VeNOM .

If you guys would simply allow me to have an opinion without refuting, arguing and/or continuing to engage me, I would receive no attention which is fine with me, preferable actually.

Which is why I deactivated my DM function.

Thanks a bunch in advance.

Nonsense.

You have been (on more than one occasion) purposely, obviously, and BLATANTLY dismissive to my positions.

Hey, if you disagree, then you disagree.

Just know that my positions reflect me as a person, and also my own life experiences.

So I feel obligated to defend both as needed.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

How do you guys approach girls (18-25 yo) in grocery stores? What is your opener? How long would you talk before you ask for the #? Would you kino?

To make it a bit more concrete, let's say the girl is alone picking some fruits…

The age is irrelevant. Relate man to woman.

RSD Alex had his 4x rule. Build rapport. Bait. Spark attraction. Push/pull. Gift of gab. Million dollar mouth piece. Create a role play. It's you & her vs the world. As if to say, "they " (everyone else) don't get it.

Cultivate BEING that guy and acquire the skill set. Don't fixate on anyone particular girl. Every set is practice. Field test everything.

There's tons of house husband's and make feminists online shilling rubbish. ANYBODY DOWN PLAYING APPROACH IS A FRAUD. They don't approach. They weasel behind social circle or some other nonsense.

The game isn't boomer pods or house husbands sperging out over hypergamy or some rubbish theory and 0 receipts. The game is active.

Acquire competency in grocery stores. Just banter. STACK. Seed sexual induendos. Intentionally mistake what she says for her hitting on you or sexually advancing you.

I heed CAUTION. exercise common sense. Your public. False rape accusations are the norm. I advise indirect BUT MAN YOU WOMAN. don't walk on egg shells. If your not Chad or Chad lite, your rope to hang yourself is less. DHV. Turn on the charm. Assume attraction. It gives you permission to approach.

Get good enough and they ask you for your ig or #digits. They ask you what your up to, Xmas, NYE, and essentially have you opens to score. Don't wait for it. Make it happen. I lead. She follows or #next!

There's no routines. You need to drill down the sets and get reps in. It's then old hat. Another day at the office.

 

[pipeman84]

How would you know? Have you actually tried it? How often? Or are you just theorizing what would happen?

Well, I don't have to bang my head on the wall very hard to know what would happen. As a man, and older, one is supposed to be the leader, authoritative figure, not to play dumb to get attention from a girl.

 

[SW15]

ANYBODY DOWN PLAYING APPROACH IS A FRAUD. They don't approach. They weasel behind social circle or some other nonsense.

Like Michael Sartain. Good point.

 

[Fortune_favors_the_bold]

I believe picking the right target is as important as executing the approach, keep in mind however that age group is out of range for me since I passed my mid 30s.

If you have a look at the items in her cart you can asses more or the less correctly her living conditions and environment and act accordingly.
If there is alchool or chips she either is a party type or shares her house with someone while if there is only healthy things and vegetables she could be working to make herself in shape and attractive but also buy stuff for kids.
You have to asses it from her grocery cart, her clothes, her overall vibes.

Regarding the approach, it doesnt need too much effort from your side since at that point it's just a matter of raw attraction so just say anything related to a product you're both buying and see her reaction.
As always long interesting answers show interests and short closed answers dont.

Hey that great yogurt is amazing but cant find the strawberry one, did you see it?
a) No I dont, I just buy this one (she walks away).
b)Do they make a strawberry one? Im used to this but would like to give it a try...in which part of the fridge is it usually?

Regarding the women working there, it's a total different game, you basically have some small chat with them everyday and see if they come with personal questions and what kind of questions are those.
They know what you usually buy so they already know a lot about your life style and economy.

Regarding opening with compliments, I strongly disagree with that and I explained here why, see point 1.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Like Michael Sartain. Good point.

Not a fan?

I thought you would disagree respectfully.

I think he has a good setup. He has a radio voice. He apparently knows people.

My criticism is that, the advice should work for Dicaprio or the manlet in a third world mud hut.

I'm a game purest. The market is so saturated and so few actually execute. Justin Marc is a club promoter from India and manlet at 5'4. He approaches. Respect.