Time to settle down?

[GearsGod310]

My girlfriend of 2 years and I just broke up 2 days ago.
Just so happen that a friend of mine hit me up this weekend and we went to a club yesterday.

The club was in riverside. I don‘t know if it was just that specific club.
But damn there were some trash as chicks in there man. Drunk af, dirty, almost naked. Yea there was like one or two really hot ones but the majority I would even have a hard time fkin..
I’m 29 so I already feel like i’m too old to be in the nightclubs. Honestly this made me think like damn .. my relationship had a lot of problems, but she had a good job and supported me and I prefer that over these stanky as hooes and wasting my damn time, talking, dating, and all that other sh1t That comes with it.

anyone think like this? who has settled down in their early or late 30s?

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

My girlfriend of 2 years and I just broke up 2 days ago.
Just so happen that a friend of mine hit me up this weekend and we went to a club yesterday.

The club was in riverside. I don‘t know if it was just that specific club.
But damn there were some trash as chicks in there man. Drunk af, dirty, almost naked. Yea there was like one or two really hot ones but the majority I would even have a hard time fkin..
I’m 29 so I already feel like i’m too old to be in the nightclubs. Honestly this made me think like damn .. my relationship had a lot of problems, but she had a good job and supported me and I prefer that over these stanky as hooes and wasting my damn time, talking, dating, and all that other sh1t That comes with it.

anyone think like this? who has settled down in their early or late 30s?

The choice is yours.

Any time is good to settle down, as long as you are READY and you've found a woman to meet your physical, emotional needs.

 

[Dr.Suave]

My girlfriend of 2 years and I just broke up 2 days ago.
Just so happen that a friend of mine hit me up this weekend and we went to a club yesterday.

The club was in riverside. I don‘t know if it was just that specific club.
But damn there were some trash as chicks in there man. Drunk af, dirty, almost naked. Yea there was like one or two really hot ones but the majority I would even have a hard time fkin..
I’m 29 so I already feel like i’m too old to be in the nightclubs. Honestly this made me think like damn .. my relationship had a lot of problems, but she had a good job and supported me and I prefer that over these stanky as hooes and wasting my damn time, talking, dating, and all that other sh1t That comes with it.

anyone think like this? who has settled down in their early or late 30s?

I just got engaged. Met a girl who checks all my boxes and Im 36. My gut was telling its time.

 

[EyeBRollin]

It might be time, yes. I got married recently. At 33. Things like family and health have become important to me than new poon.

 

[Murk]

Only settled down with a woman who is the best you can achieve. If that means taking time (years even) to perfect yourself because choosing the right one, do it. It's what I have been doing for the past 15 years.

I'll settle down with an absolute 10 in mind body and soul. She will get the same in return.

 

[CyrusTheGreat]

I think you need more time to figure out whether you're feeling the way you're feeling is because of the breakup, or that you genuinely feel like settling down.

In my case, I usually felt pretty down when I went to a bar or a club after a breakup. This was mainly because of two reasons:

• If I were unsuccessful with women that night, I'd feel down because it made me doubt the breakup and losing something good (the ex).
• If I were successful with women that night, I'd again feel down because for me it was a reminder of things being over with my ex.

At this stage, I think you should just play the field, have someone, and let some time pass. When you're over the breakup, you'll know better what you need to do.

 

[Hal9000]

It varies for everyone but I can assure you that you don't want to be the oldest guy at "the club" trying to pick up women. Few things are more pathetic.

 

[savi0r]

I just turned 36 and broke up with my 3 year girlfriend in March, this year. But as some guys above said, my gut is starting to poke me about this. I'm feeling it's about time to do it.

 

[Dr.Suave]

I just turned 36 and broke up with my 3 year girlfriend in March, this year. But as some guys above said, my gut is starting to poke me about this. I'm feeling it's about time to do it.

I was 34 when my LTR of 4+years broke up with me. I felt bad for some time but it was a f0cking gift from the heavens because I traded up in every way I can think of. I hope this will be your case too.

 

[Barrister]

OP,

Maybe it is time to settle down and maybe it isn't. What I can tell you is this. 29 years old is young, especially for a man, and you have YEARS to figure it out still - so don't feel pressure because of time. Second, do NOT settle down with the woman you just broke up with. You will be right back where you started very soon OR you will swallow your unhappiness and end up as just another miserable husband married to a woman he can't stand for 2 seconds at a time.

Take at least six months and see how you feel. If you still feel like this woman maybe is someone you should settle down with (you won't), then address it then. You need a clear head to operate with and right now you do not have that.

 

[In2theGame]

It depends on what you feel like doing however you don't want to "settle down" just because you feel like your options aren't there.

29 Years old, in my opinion, is still very young.

Clubs aren't all that IMO. I'd prefer a chilled out bar/lounge type of scene.

 

[2Rocky]

The time to "settle down" is not when you meet the first woman after a breakup. It is when you find a rotation of female prospects across a variety of social circles and one elevates herself to be "The one to beat" . You feel like you could go out and find another woman tomorrow if you had to.

It is when you feel like a complete man, not like a piece is missing. Or at least you are on the path to being that complete man.
It is the feeling that you could be alone and happy but you enjoy the company of this one particular woman.

Then you ask this about your partner:

Is she available to commit to a relationship with me?



Do I love her for who she is right now, who she is today?



Does she blame her ex, kids, other people, or circumstances for her life situation?



Is this what I really want?



Am I afraid to be alone?



Does she talk too much (especially about herself) and tend to monopolize the conversation?



Does she appear to be poor listener?



Do I find myself wanting to “help” or rescue this divorced or divorcing woman because I see her potential?



Is she emotionally distant?



What kind of effort does she make to really connect?



Does she walk her talk? Does what she says about herself appear to match reality?



What am I most attracted to about her?



Do I find myself focusing on one important quality (sex, fun, humor, money, etc), while ignoring unmet relationship requirements?



Do we share values?



Is she pessimistic or negative about things that matter to me?



Does she appear to still be pining for her ex or another past relationship?



What do this woman and I have in common?



What are the glaring differences between me and my partner?



Am I avoiding looking at the differences, because of the important things that we have in common?



Does she appear to accept feedback, take responsibility, and be willing to self-examine?



Is she honest in dealing with people, money, etc?



Does she appear to lack integrity?



Am I trying to change this woman to fit what I want, instead of accepting her for who she is?



Does it feel like I am on an emotional roller coaster, and that there is regular and recurring emotional drama in this relationship?



Does this woman tend to react to frustration with anger, rage and/or blame?



Does she try to control everything (including me)?



Would I want this woman to raise my child?



Is this woman looking to me to make her life better (especially if her life is particularly problematic?)



How is her attitude?



Does she appear to be overly judgmental toward herself or other people?



Does she have an active addition (or addictive disposition)?



If she has an addiction or addictive disposition, does she rationalize it as “not a problem”?



Can I depend on this woman to keep agreements?



Does this woman tend to be immature, impulsive, and/or irresponsible?



Would I want my child to be exactly like my partner?

 

[Modern Man Advice]

My girlfriend of 2 years and I just broke up 2 days ago.
Just so happen that a friend of mine hit me up this weekend and we went to a club yesterday.

The club was in riverside. I don‘t know if it was just that specific club.
But damn there were some trash as chicks in there man. Drunk af, dirty, almost naked. Yea there was like one or two really hot ones but the majority I would even have a hard time fkin..
I’m 29 so I already feel like i’m too old to be in the nightclubs. Honestly this made me think like damn .. my relationship had a lot of problems, but she had a good job and supported me and I prefer that over these stanky as hooes and wasting my damn time, talking, dating, and all that other sh1t That comes with it.

anyone think like this? who has settled down in their early or late 30s?

Only you know. No one here can tell you when it is right. Everyone is walking their own path.

What I can tell you is that generally speaking 30s and 40s for a man is just when they are reaching their peak. Financially, career-wise, game, looks, fitness, emotional maturity, intelligence, etc, etc. Hope by then you have gone through enough s**t to give you thick skin. Do you feel like you are at your peak? If so, I would solidify this chapter and yes start looking for someone that can not only compliments your life but contributes and uplifts your life (and vice-versa).

 

[BackInTheGame78]

If your relationship had a lot of problems, that ain't it bro

 

[SW15]

you don't want to be the oldest guy at "the club" trying to pick up women. Few things are more pathetic.

Around age 30, I shifted my Game to be primarily daygame. Doing approaches at night venues (either regular bars or nightclubs) becomes less desirable as a man ages. Very few men 30+ have the tolerance to constantly do bar/nightclub approaches.

Daygame is a more sustainable version of game. Plenty of men in their 40s, 50s, or even beyond can approaches strangers in non-bar settings and not look pathetic.

The typical 30+ man who exits bar/nightclub approaching doesn't become a daygame focused guy. The typical 30+ man moves his game to the swipe apps and to social media DMing. Daygame has always been a niche activity because it takes a lot of courage to approach strangers in non-bar venues while sober. Even 30-40 years ago, when men were more courageous, not a lot of men were doing daygame.

anyone think like this? who has settled down in their early or late 30s?

It was acknowledged in the article below that most men feel some desire to pair bond at some point when they are 30+.

The Only 9 Options for Men as They Age - Alpha Male 2.0

-By Caleb Jones As I’ve discussed before, most men, even Alpha Males, have no intention on being players for the rest of their lives. At some point, even the horniest players will want to “settle down” in some form or fashion. Today I’m going to...

alphamale20.com

 

[GearsGod310]

Thanks everyone for the feedback.
I broke up with her on Friday and honestly I cut all contact with her. I wasn’t going to reach out anymore.
This is a girl I lived with for two years.
But she called me Sunday night saying she couldn’t even eat because she was so hurt and that she missed me.
We talked and we both stated our flaws and what we can work on to be better. We agreed to try to work on our flaws and keep little dumb arguments to a minimum.

It’s hard because this is a girl that for two years has not left my side. Always wanted to be with me. A literal roll dog. Supporting everything and anything I’ve wanted to do and was right behind me cheering me on.

But I take everything that everyone here is saying into consideration. I’m going to move forward very cautiously especially since we are not living together anymore i’m going to really think things through, feel things out and keep the door open for anything.

 

[CyrusTheGreat]

Thanks everyone for the feedback.
I broke up with her on Friday and honestly I cut all contact with her. I wasn’t going to reach out anymore.
This is a girl I lived with for two years.
But she called me Sunday night saying she couldn’t even eat because she was so hurt and that she missed me.
We talked and we both stated our flaws and what we can work on to be better. We agreed to try to work on our flaws and keep little dumb arguments to a minimum.

It’s hard because this is a girl that for two years has not left my side. Always wanted to be with me. A literal roll dog. Supporting everything and anything I’ve wanted to do and was right behind me cheering me on.

But I take everything that everyone here is saying into consideration. I’m going to move forward very cautiously especially since we are not living together anymore i’m going to really think things through, feel things out and keep the door open for anything.

Why did you guys break up in the first place if I may ask?

 

[GearsGod310]

Why did you guys break up in the first place if I may ask?

Too much fighting man I got over it. I’m a really explosive person. Little petty arguments would turn to bigger situations, then we would just go at it. “ you did this & you did that”. No type of deescalation. Very childish from both of us I admit it.
She has some resentment towards me though and I understand. She’s caught me being unfaithful like 6 months into our relationship. She said she could forgive me.
I understand that in a relationship you have to compromise a lot of things and I still wanted that single life freedom.
Haven’t been the best BF. But she’s stuck around man always by my side.

When I need to go work she was there Fixing me my coffee or food, w.e I needed.
When I was gone cleaned our room did my laundry.
When I talked to her about my goals she would say that I could accomplish them all and she would be with me through all the bullshi1t.
When I would go to work she would be home waiting for me.
When I would go out she’d be at home waiting for me super sad but waiting for me.

yet this last time we talked she said she will be by my side for as long as I allow her because she loves me and wants to work toward a family and make money together and buy our house.

 

[CyrusTheGreat]

Too much fighting man I got over it. I’m a really explosive person. Little petty arguments would turn to bigger situations, then we would just go at it. “ you did this & you did that”. No type of deescalation. Very childish from both of us I admit it.
She has some resentment towards me though and I understand. She’s caught me being unfaithful like 6 months into our relationship. She said she could forgive me.
I understand that in a relationship you have to compromise a lot of things and I still wanted that single life freedom.
Haven’t been the best BF. But she’s stuck around man always by my side.

Don't expect her to come up with a solution to your problems. You need to find a way to resolve this, and then share it with her (if you wanna stay with her). It will be then up to her follow up with it or not.

When I need to go work she was there Fixing me my coffee or food, w.e I needed.
When I was gone cleaned our room did my laundry.
When I talked to her about my goals she would say that I could accomplish them all and she would be with me through all the bullshi1t.
When I would go to work she would be home waiting for me.
When I would go out she’d be at home waiting for me super sad but waiting for me.

I have yet to meet a girl who checks only one of these boxes for me. She sounds like a keeper.

Also try to play with her emotions a bit, plan something fun with her once in awhile.

From your past threads it seems that she also have some issues from the past. Encourage (or maybe force) her to see a (non-woke) therapist.

 

[SW15]

(non-woke) therapist.

That's not easy to find. Most male therapists are beta males and possibly cuckolds. Female therapists are usually some variety of woke and many are SJWs and feminists. Some (more so than PhDs than the MAs) are big time careerists.