Cold approach is becoming impossible

[mikedee]

I'm convinced low quality mass approaching is a complete waste of time.

Only talk to women who give you IOIs - same as the overall principle in only pursuing women who show high IL right away. You can get away with only doing 1-2 approaches per month, as long as you choose quality over quantity, right girl, right place at the right time, etc.

No you can't, IOIs don't mean anything, it does not guarantee a lay. I got IOIs from married women, women with boyfriends, women that were not interested in dating/or in me, etc. When they are interested, then you deal with flakes, ex.bf, ghosting, etc.

To be successful in cold approaching you have to approach every girl that you like. When I say "like" it means: "yeah she's really hot, I must talk to her". If you wait for IOIs you can wait forever and miss a lot of opportunities. Most of the girls I met and got laid with through daygame had no idea that I existed until I approached them.

I try to approach 1-2x a day, that is the minimum. Ideally I should approach 4-5x a day. But I don't approach just for the sake of approaching, if I don't see any girls worth approaching, I just don't approach. For example when I lived in Moscow I could approach 8-10x easy, here in Prague it's more like 1-2x.

I agree with you that spam approach is a waste of time, I meet women during my daily activities, everything time I leave the house it's on.
Nobody has ever called the police, and I can't remember any really harsh reactions.

 

[Don of the north]

I don't spam approach every single woman. I don't approach anything below a 5 and I prefer them younger looking 18-32. It would be impossible to spam approach around my area if that's my criteria. Sometimes you approach a 3/4 because at first glance or from afar they look better until you get in front of them. I find the 9 and 10's to be the nicest on average. So strange.

I do a few approaches per day generally. 5-8 max generally and in multiple locations. I never sit in one place too long.

The cops were really nice when I talked to them. But you never know if a mean cop will show up.

One police complaint literally said "we had a report you said hello to a woman". That was the entire complaint. I'm not kidding. I never got past hello with her. Not sure what "game" has to do with that! And just because you have terrible game doesn't give someone the right to call the police on you.

I'm not in a major city. I'm pretty sure if I did this in central park in nyc, the cops would laugh if they heard a call come in like that, unless times have really changed. I'm never doing this where I live again. It's impossible.

I know from prior experience if I ask enough women out, one will find me attractive, and she might be super-hot. This will NEVER happen from waiting for ioi's or post college social circle. I've tried that. I never get them. I have to approach a ton of women because most don't find me attractive and that's ok. They owe me nothing. I just want a chance to shoot my shot without the cops getting called. Not much to ask.

Also, I've watched a lot of videos on pickup recently. Please don't follow the advice of james tusk and others and keep pushing when she tells you she has a b/f. That is a recipe for disaster especially if you don't look like a male model. The first objection you get, eject. You're not selling cars on a lot. The only exception is I'm in a rush. Then you can quickly say can I walk with you or let me get your number and I'll call you later. If they say b/f, they either have one or have no interest in you.

The worst is the "look" they give you while completely ignoring you or giving you major passive aggressive body language. I call it the serial killer look. I can do the exact same thing and get a big smile from the first girl and then the second one will give that look just at hello. If I talk to them for more than 2 minutes after a direct opener, I generally get a number. It's hard to get them to stop and talk for more than a min. Married women love to talk though. lol

 

[corrector]

The cops were really nice when I talked to them. But you never know if a mean cop will show up.

Okay, this is noted. Disregard my other statements about cops. It's the cost of business. You might encounter some women like that but the vast majority would not do that.

 

[mikedee]

Please don't follow the advice of james tusk and others and keep pushing when she tells you she has a b/f. That is a recipe for disaster especially if you don't look like a male model. The first objection you get, eject. You're not selling cars on a lot. The only exception is I'm in a rush. Then you can quickly say can I walk with you or let me get your number and I'll call you later. If they say b/f, they either have one or have no interest in you.

That is true, as soon as I hear the word "boyfriend", I smile and I tell her "it was nice to meet you, have a good day" and I eject. It doesn't matter if she really has a bf or not. If you keep pushing then it's harassment. When you cold approach on a regular basis you get good at reading body language, facial expressions, general vibe, etc. you know when to stick around and when to leave.

 

[Gamisch]

I don't spam approach every single woman. I don't approach anything below a 5 and I prefer them younger looking 18-32. It would be impossible to spam approach around my area if that's my criteria. Sometimes you approach a 3/4 because at first glance or from afar they look better until you get in front of them. I find the 9 and 10's to be the nicest on average. So strange.

I do a few approaches per day generally. 5-8 max generally and in multiple locations. I never sit in one place too long.

The cops were really nice when I talked to them. But you never know if a mean cop will show up.

One police complaint literally said "we had a report you said hello to a woman". That was the entire complaint. I'm not kidding. I never got past hello with her. Not sure what "game" has to do with that! And just because you have terrible game doesn't give someone the right to call the police on you.

I'm not in a major city. I'm pretty sure if I did this in central park in nyc, the cops would laugh if they heard a call come in like that, unless times have really changed. I'm never doing this where I live again. It's impossible.

I know from prior experience if I ask enough women out, one will find me attractive, and she might be super-hot. This will NEVER happen from waiting for ioi's or post college social circle. I've tried that. I never get them. I have to approach a ton of women because most don't find me attractive and that's ok. They owe me nothing. I just want a chance to shoot my shot without the cops getting called. Not much to ask.

Also, I've watched a lot of videos on pickup recently. Please don't follow the advice of james tusk and others and keep pushing when she tells you she has a b/f. That is a recipe for disaster especially if you don't look like a male model. The first objection you get, eject. You're not selling cars on a lot. The only exception is I'm in a rush. Then you can quickly say can I walk with you or let me get your number and I'll call you later. If they say b/f, they either have one or have no interest in you.

The worst is the "look" they give you while completely ignoring you or giving you major passive aggressive body language. I call it the serial killer look. I can do the exact same thing and get a big smile from the first girl and then the second one will give that look just at hello. If I talk to them for more than 2 minutes after a direct opener, I generally get a number. It's hard to get them to stop and talk for more than a min. Married women love to talk though. lol

The interesting thing about your post is that the western world does indeed changes his view to " cold approach ". In Amsterdam (city of sin ) ,you are basically NOT ALLOWED to approach women. https://www.dutchnews.nl/news/2016/...-ban-hissing-rude-gestures-and-wolf-whistles/

Many women that were raped or harassed
probably got cold approached first.

May I ask, how did this specific interaction went down?yiu but into a argument with a woman, or was it more like you dont even know who calle the cops on you and why?

@RickTheToad iirc is a cop. What do you think about this?

 

[mikedee]

The interesting thing about your post is that the western world does indeed changes his view to " cold approach ". In Amsterdam (city of sin ) ,you are basically NOT ALLOWED to approach women. https://www.dutchnews.nl/news/2016/...-ban-hissing-rude-gestures-and-wolf-whistles/

Many women that were raped or harassed
probably got cold approached first.

May I ask, how did this specific interaction went down?yiu but into a argument with a woman, or was it more like you dont even know who calle the cops on you and why?

@RickTheToad iirc is a cop. What do you think about this?

"to make it an offence to harass or hiss at people in the street as part of a package of measures to reduce intimidation in public places"

There is a difference between cold approaching in a polite way vs. harass and hiss at women. It's not written that it's not allowed to talk to women, it's not allowed to act like a jerk.

 

[Gamisch]

"to make it an offence to harass or hiss at people in the street as part of a package of measures to reduce intimidation in public places"

There is a difference between cold approaching in a polite way vs. harass and hiss at women. It's not written that it's not allowed to talk to women, it's not allowed to act like a jerk.

Absolutely, but it already becomes " more risky" . The whistle might be annoying to some women, at least it's safe and happens from a distance, and a simple whistle has a short lifespan of action. To approach you gotta enter her "personal space".

"To reduce intimidation in public places. " its difficult to judge what intimidation means to different women. But I can imagine that the cops in Amsterdam are able to pull you of the streets and use this specific law against you.

At least in Amsterdam the horny
bloke can simply tap against a window and get his D wet...

 

[Hamurabimbi]

No, this has never happened to me. My photos rate in the 6.5-7.5 range though.

I'll speak more to the general cold approaching environment in the next quote. I have been a non-bar approacher since the early 2010s, but did dabble in it as early as the mid-2000s in a post-college urban environment.



Most men are not going to have the cops called on them when doing non-bar approaches in major cities. Here are my guidelines to not getting the cops called on you as a non-bar stranger approacher.

1. Look reasonably good.

You don't have to be a 6'0"+ guy with big muscles (top tier looking) in order to set dates while non-bar approach or get rejected without cops being called. Most guys who are average looking will be fine in non-bar approaching in terms of avoiding the cops being called. These average guys are likely to take a ton of rejections in their approaches, but they won't get the cops called on them. The typical rejection won't even be a hard rejection. It's more likely to be a 30-60 second conversation that goes nowhere, so the man won't even get the opportunity to ask for a date or even a phone number.

2. Don't linger in the same place too long.

If you are doing grocery store approaches, get out of that grocery store in less than one hour. A good grocery store approach session is 45-60 minutes. You won't draw any suspicion from store personnel if you're out in less than one hour. When I grocery shop, I can usually complete shopping in 20-30 minutes if I have a girlfriend and am not doing approaches. If I am unattached and needing new prospects, I will linger longer and take grocery store approach session to 45-60 minutes if I am trying to get some new sexual prospects. In the past, I have had weekends where I did one hour in one grocery store + one hour in a 2nd grocery store on the same weekend. I find that's the most effective way to do grocery store approaching. However, even doing that might not result in much success.

A similar idea is true at the malls and on outdoor paths/the street. Lingering in the same place too long will draw attention. Move to a slightly new place every 30-60 minutes.

Your gym or a fitness class is a different animal. On the general gym floor, most women will be wearing earbuds and oblivious to you. Don't approach women with earbuds in your gym unless you get good IOIs. Most men who are under 6'0" and without big muscles won't get big time IOIs. For most men, the best gym-based approach is fitness classes. A lot of gyms have group fitness classes and there are also fitness brands where their entire business model is a class based studio. Fitness classes eliminate the earbud problem and offer the advantage of having far more women than men. Even with no earbud problem and good ratios, many women simply aren't sociable before/after class, so getting a date from fitness class is more difficult than it might seem based on the earbud and ratio factors mentioned. In a gym, your bigger issue is pissing off staff and possibly having membership revoked as compared to police calls. Most men won't have issues on their cold approaches in gyms with gym staff so long as they look average-ish and have average social skills. They might take a fair amount of rejections, mostly soft rejections in the form of short conversations that go nowhere, but they won't piss off the staff or have to deal with cops.

3. Don't spam approach in retail venues

The approachers that tend to get into trouble either with store personnel or the police are the guys who show no social skill and approach every woman, often with weak or crappy lines. In retail venues, an indirect, observational approach won't draw attention from store personnel or the police because you have plausible deniability. Indirect approaches might not get you dates or even conversations exceeding 60 seconds, but they won't get you a harrassment allegation.

It's obviously better to approach with indicators of interest, but most men don't get a sufficient amount of IOIs to be able to rely upon them. Also, an IOI doesn't mean that you'll get a date from her, but the approach quality will at least be better.

The only place where you're able to spam approach is in a night venue. Approaches are expected in night life.

If you're approaching outdoors, try not to spam approach either. You can go more direct on their looks with a London Daygame Model type approach. Lingering in one place outdoors won't be good either.

4. If you must live in a Western nation, try not to live in one of the metro areas with the most
Toronto
Vancouver
Sydney
Melbourne
London
Washington DC
San Francisco
Seattle
Portland (Oregon)

In the USA metro areas on this list, a lot of men in these metro areas are wimpy and becoming more and more cucked. In the USA metros, there are men who are very thirsty in these metros, but because they are wimps, they are often doing game on the swipe apps and Instgram instead of in-person. If they are doing in-person approaches, it's more likely to be in bars than in non-bar venues. Non-bar stranger approaching is a very difficult form of game and most men are too wimpy to do it.




If you are a Western man, you are a 2nd class citizen, especially if you are a White man. White men are considered a life form lower than pond scum in the West.

In SF at least, there are so many tourists and visitors from the suburbs, that it’s not that bad. The actual SF people tend to be unfriendly , but there are enough out-of-towners that it is viable. Still bad compared to other areas.

I disagree as to White penalties. As a White, cis, hetero man, even in SF, I Have experianced White Privlidge. Not only do women prefer White men to date, but Even daily encounters, just going about daily business. So much of this anti-White man stuff is just empty virtue signaling.

 

[corrector]

In SF at least, there are so many tourists and visitors from the suburbs, that it’s not that bad. The actual SF people tend to be unfriendly , but there are enough out-of-towners that it is viable. Still bad compared to other areas.

I disagree as to White penalties. As a White, cis, hetero man, even in SF, I Have experianced White Privlidge. Not only do women prefer White men to date, but Even daily encounters, just going about daily business. So much of this anti-White man stuff is just empty virtue signaling.

Agreed. Especially ethnic women. Also you get kid-glove treatment by police (if they even show up at all). Heck, I'd probably have an Asian gf yesterday rather than be an incel with a 8 year dry-spell if I were white. You just get too much crap thrown at you and if you trip up you don't get second chances or get up very easy so you are right about the empty virtual signling. At least an honest poster here.

 

[mikedee]

Absolutely, but it already becomes " more risky" . The whistle might be annoying to some women, at least it's safe and happens from a distance, and a simple whistle has a short lifespan of action. To approach you gotta enter her "personal space".

"To reduce intimidation in public places. " its difficult to judge what intimidation means to different women. But I can imagine that the cops in Amsterdam are able to pull you of the streets and use this specific law against you.

At least in Amsterdam the horny
bloke can simply tap against a window and get his D wet...

Dutch girls are not known for being hot. One option is to go to a coffee shop, smoke a big spliff, spend some time shopping for the perfect girl, then pay 50 Euros to fck a gorgeous EE girl. In/Out, no drama, no police, no ticket. When in Amsterdam...

 

[sangheilios]

Dutch girls are not known for being hot. One option is to go to a coffee shop, smoke a big spliff, spend some time shopping for the perfect girl, then pay 50 Euros to fck a gorgeous EE girl. In/Out, no drama, no police, no ticket. When in Amsterdam...

Is that where most of the women working at legal brothels in Amsterdam are from? LOL

In the U.S prostitution is illegal, except for in areas around Vegas, but from what I've gathered there are 2, maybe 3, categories of women who do this line of work.

1. Drug addicted women that are desperate for money and will do anything for it to get their fix, pretty much all street/cheap hookers fall in this category.

2. Women that just really enjoy sex and they decide to do this as a career, porn stars also fall under this category.

3. Women that use it as a means to travel and experience a higher lifestyle than they'd otherwise be able to have. Sugar babies, or even just escorts that cater to a higher income man who do stuff like "fly me to you" or go on trips with wealthy men, etc.

 

[mikedee]

Is that where most of the women working at legal brothels in Amsterdam are from? LOL

Lot of them, some are smoking hot.

 

[sangheilios]

Lot of them, some are smoking hot.

Is something like that even enjoyable though? The sheer amount of volume those women would be seeing regularly I could just see it being robotic and almost like ****ing a sex doll.

 

[The Duke]

Years ago, when I was just starting out my buddy and I approached 10 women at bars one half-lit night! haha We first looked for girls that showed the slightest interest(eye contact, etc).

Our opening line was "hey, you're hot! You want to make out?" A few acted like they were insulted, most thought it was hilarious, and one of those my buddy made out with and ended up with her number. He decided later he wasn't interested in her, so I ended up going out with her. She was 15yrs younger than me.

It was a confidence builder for both of us. It solidified the IDGAF attitude that a guy needs to be successful with women. It also says a lot about women....if they are attracted to you, you can do no harm, just about anything you do is great to them.

 

[mikedee]

Is something like that even enjoyable though? The sheer amount of volume those women would be seeing regularly I could just see it being robotic and almost like ****ing a sex doll.

I was young when I went to Amsterdam, I remember that I had a great time. It really depends on the girl, some girls have shtty personality and try to scam you with extra for this extra for that, some are super cool and honest. The only problem is that once you try it you spend the whole trip in the Red Light, anyway what else are you going to do? Visit windmills? Most guys go to Amsterdam to fck hookers, smoke weed, buy magic mushrooms and drink Heinekein, nothing wrong with that.
Beautiful city though.

 

[Don of the north]

Absolutely, but it already becomes " more risky" . The whistle might be annoying to some women, at least it's safe and happens from a distance, and a simple whistle has a short lifespan of action. To approach you gotta enter her "personal space".

"To reduce intimidation in public places. " its difficult to judge what intimidation means to different women. But I can imagine that the cops in Amsterdam are able to pull you of the streets and use this specific law against you.

At least in Amsterdam the horny
bloke can simply tap against a window and get his D wet...

I've never had an argument with anyone on cold approach.

I think this whole fear of being assaulted is being blown out of proportion. I just think they don't like unatractive men chatting them up. As another poster said anything you say is great if they find you attractive. Sickos who force themselves on women don't need to cold approach. Cold approach is literally asking for permission to talk to them. Most cold approaches happen in really busy areas. They are more likely to get attacked by a crazy person out of nowhere.

Anyway, I'm done with the cold approach. Maybe once in a while an indirect approach. It simply is not doable for me with the amount of police attention.

All the best guys. Just thought I'd share my thoughts and experiences with you. Sad world this is unfortunately, but it is what it is.

 

[corrector]

I've never had an argument with anyone on cold approach.

I think this whole fear of being assaulted is being blown out of proportion. I just think they don't like unatractive men chatting them up. As another poster said anything you say is great if they find you attractive. Sickos who force themselves on women don't need to cold approach. Cold approach is literally asking for permission to talk to them. Most cold approaches happen in really busy areas. They are more likely to get attacked by a crazy person out of nowhere.

Anyway, I'm done with the cold approach. Maybe once in a while an indirect approach. It simply is not doable for me with the amount of police attention.

All the best guys. Just thought I'd share my thoughts and experiences with you. Sad world this is unfortunately, but it is what it is.

You are not going to live your best life if you live in fear. You are going to have to make a choice between a full life and a safe life and I can tell you a safe one will be more boring and regret filled (ie when its 10-20 years later and you look back). Its just a setback with one stupid Karen so grow a pair and get over it.

 

[Don of the north]

You are not going to live your best life if you live in fear. You are going to have to make a choice between a full life and a safe life and I can tell you a safe one will be more boring and regret filled (ie when its 10-20 years later and you look back). Its just a setback with one stupid Karen so grow a pair and get over it.

Totally understand where you are coming from brother, but this didn't happen once. If it happened once, I'd say it was a fluke. This society is messed up. I wish I had the funds. I'd just go to Poland and get a LTR and bring her back to the us and get the hell out of this feminist nightmare that is 2022. I'm not telling you or anyone else not to approach. APPROACH ALL DAY LONG! In fact, we should call it a political protest and then they can't do anything. lol Part of the problem is that I like white girls. If I go to the ghetto and shout out black girls and nothing would happen. But they are not my personal preference. NO one is more privileged and overprotected than a white female. And I'm not in a huge metropolis like nyc where you can fly under the radar more I would imagine. If I keep doing this, I will likely end up arrested if I run into the wrong cop. They can come up with charges like disturbing the peace/disorderly conduct ect. when they really want to if you keep doing it after they've already been called and talked to you. Never mind the potential false allegations.

 

[corrector]

Totally understand where you are coming from brother, but this didn't happen once. If it happened once, I'd say it was a fluke.

How many times did this happen? What is your background?

Part of the problem is that I like white girls. If I go to the ghetto and shout out black girls and nothing would happen. But they are not my personal preference. NO one is more privileged and overprotected than a white female.

Only Karens take advantage of that privildge and overprotection at the expense of other people. There is a growing social stigma behind those types of women, especially when people flip out their smartphones and start recording their interactions and uploading them on a social news channel, facebook, or youtube, etc... The best protection in these cases is to continue the interaction but record them on your smartphone and anything about her. Some of these "Karens" have lost good jobs over that so for sure, it could be a good insurance policy for you if you are worried about that.

And I'm not in a huge metropolis like nyc where you can fly under the radar more I would imagine. If I keep doing this, I will likely end up arrested if I run into the wrong cop. They can come up with charges like disturbing the peace/disorderly conduct ect. when they really want to if you keep doing it after they've already been called and talked to you. Never mind the potential false allegations.

You can't worry about that. These Karens call the cops on anyone for any reason. You could just be minding your own business and they can still call the cops on you. The majority of videos that I see with Karens include people doing a zillion things, but usually not one of them is someone approaching them to say hello. Maybe you could make that a case to and get famous if you get a viral video.

 

[espanish]

Right and a cop can just tase him or beat him up because he's being too smart and take her word over his (ie depending on the tone and how that line is being delivered to the cop). Sure, he may eventually get the charges withdrawn, or sue the police department if the police act unlawfully and get over a million dollars or more, but then if he ends up with a cracked skull or broken jaw or other issues in the interim, then that's still a nasty experience to go through. Without knowing the background and what geographical part of the USA the OP is in (assuming he is American which is assumed since America is the country with the cop-crazy culture where "Karens" can call the cops over nonsense), it's impossible to give advice in this regards.

no one can predict how any individual cop will react but I have never heard of anyone getting punched or tased for exercising his right to remain silent. This is not communist china (yet). Denials are ok "she is lying, I never touched her" but if you say more than that and you don't know what you are doing you can get yourself in more trouble.

If all the checkmarks are there, then the best advice would be to forget about cold-approaching because any cop interaction is too risky. Some cops may be lazy, but other cops may have nefarious intentions and motivations for being in the force.

yes that's why I said be hard to find. never use a credit card at places where you talk to women. if you know cops are on their way run run run dont be an idiot and say "well I have done nothing I will wait for the cops"