She stopped texting

[oldmanofthesea]

1. I do not advise double-texting women.
2. You've been asked to share exactly what it was that she last said to you and what you said in response, but you are deliberately avoiding sharing that. Why?
3. She probably stopped responding because you didn't ask her out. The point of your discussion with her should have been to ask her out. It's ok to warm her up a little and engage in some brief back-and-forth but the point is to ask her out, not create a pen-pal. Asking her out forces her to show whether or not she is truly interested in you, it is leading, and if she is into you, it is what she wants. If you are acting as alpha as you claim in your OP then your not asking her out during the conversation is completely incongruent with your other behavior and it likely turned her off, understandably.

Since you messed up on this one by not asking her out during your conversation, it is ok to break point #1 above but I would wait until next week and I would make sure you ask her out this time. But know that since she has basically ghosted you and ignored your last message, and you are having to double-text her, the chances of it working are slim-to-none and she is no longer in your frame which will make everything more challenging. The worst she can say is no, but just ensure you are in the right mindset not to let it impact your confidence and self-opinion.

 

[Divorced w 3]

If she’s at a worksite just act cool around her, happy thanksgiving what did you do, be the man you were then. I suck and hate texting

 

[espanish]

I'm learning dude.

It didn't ask for a response. It was a follow up to her comment. Could just be waiting on me to ask her out, idk.

I figure if she is really into me, she would at least initiate conversation. But being the male, I have to lead Her. I'll just ask her out in a day. Get to the point otherwise move on.

Screw it, I have nothing to loose.

ok so she said something like "how was your weekend?" and you said "good, we went to the beach"
I don't know what kind of response you are expecting to that.
you say you are learning, so learn this: women are attention *****s and if she is giving you her social media or phone number that doesn't mean anything. she could very well be in a relationship.

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

You came off as arrogant ass hole full of yourself in the original exchange. You seemed to be looking for her validation & being Joe Cool but women as you should know see this ALL the time and honestly it’s like “Oh. Another one? Yawn.”

Follow the advice of @oldmanofthesea on this one. We analyze stuff around here. It’s what we do. It’s for your benefit whether you see that or not OP. It might also benefit another reader.

Cheers

 

[SW15]

The phone causes men a lot of problems. I recommending avoiding as much phone contact as possible. This was true as far back as the 1970s-1990s when landlines were dominant, but men have had communication issues in the cell phone era of the 2000s-present. Text messaging has only made things worse.

One tactic I have used to do less texting is to ask for a first date on the spot when doing an in-person approach. I only collect a phone number after she's agreed to the idea of a date. The only texting I may do are logistics related. I want to do almost everything in-person.

 

[JST8828]

You should have got to the point and asked her out in the initial convo. In the early stages texting isn't for penpals, its for setting up dates. She subconsiously sensed some weakness by you not making your move and bailed out of the chit chat. Not a big deal. Take it as a learning experience.

 

[KingTurbo]

You should have got to the point and asked her out in the initial convo. In the early stages texting isn't for penpals, its for setting up dates. She subconsiously sensed some weakness by you not making your move and bailed out of the chit chat. Not a big deal. Take it as a learning experience.

Thanks man. I am learning from experience and you all too.

Yeah, I saw some videos that mention you should be honest with a woman if she ghosts you. Could honesty appear needy? I didn't text this.

"I understand I came off way too forward and your not comfortable meeting, it's cool. Just wanted to get to know you more, let me know."



Biggest red flag from my experience is she didn't take any initiative to text me on her own, which means its a dud.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

Met this woman at a worksite. I went in and was flawless, dude. I asked her the right questions to open up. I flexed my alpha strength, I was dominant, no compliments, was teasing etc. Told her she was cool and I wanted to add her to facebook. (I didn't add her, and still haven't)

Next day I had her give me her number.
"So I couldn't find you on facebook, you got one of those weird names"
(Laughs, oh my name is weird?!) (Eyes dilated, giddy, smiling, eye contact)
"here, let's try this. (Puts number in my phone)
"Cool. I will be in touch. (Didn't text her)

Next day she texts ME first. So we have a fun conversation, I do not compliment her or anything, I put her in my frame, tease her, she is laughing, etc.

I respond back to her last message.(Hours later) Then nothing back from her. She just stopped. It's been three days.

I am NOT sending her anything, no way. She will not get a "hey", "whats upp", "how is your vacation" etc. Because that will show weakness.

I know for a fact she has her phone and is on it, every 23 year old woman is. No doubt she saw my last reply to our conversation.

Could be several things.
She is with family. (Thanksgiving break)
She is testing me
She doesn't give a !@#$ (Which she has no reason to)

I did everything right. I was not one of these guys who asked for her number. I didn't give her compliments. I didn't lavish her. She text me first, she willingly put her number in my phone.

So, I need an interpretation here. What's your experience?

I'm learning dude.

It didn't ask for a response. It was a follow up to her comment. Could just be waiting on me to ask her out, idk.

I figure if she is really into me, she would at least initiate conversation. But being the male, I have to lead Her. I'll just ask her out in a day. Get to the point otherwise move on.

Screw it, I have nothing to loose.

First of all, I can feel your pain. I get the sense that you feel hurt, and you are definitely confused about what you should do.

I am here for you, bro.

You say you are learning...which you are.

Some of these guys on here can learn too, from your experience.

Your situation is a learning experience for everyone...and the lesson learned here is simple...your situation is exactly why...

It is IMPORTANT TO HAVE A ROTATION!!!

The is a text book example of why you should always have a revolving door of some women coming in, and some going out.

Why?

Because of situations like this.

Think about it this way, if you already had 4-5 girls in your rotation (girls you are sleeping and vibing with), do you think you will feel this way about ONE particular chick?

No, you probably wouldn't.

But if this is the only chick in your basket and you lose her, you will feel the way that you feel because you are living a life of scarcity, instead of abundance.

Example: If you have $800 in your possession, and you lose $100. Sure, it may sting a little but you still have $700 left, so you aint tripping to tough.

But if you only have $100 in your possession, and you lose this single $100 bill, then the way you are effected with this loss is wayyy more significant than in the first case.

That is the difference between having a scarcity mindset, and an abundance mindset.

That is also why you must keep the rotation going...go out cold approaching and approach at least one woman per day.

If you do that, you will never be in this situation again.

Trust me.

 

[Atom Smasher]

I notice with threads like this that the OP rarely includes the actual text messages.
How can we possibly know what went wrong without seeing what was texted? All we can do is speculate when we have no idea under the sun what was said.

 

[KingTurbo]

First of all, I can feel your pain. I get the sense that you feel hurt, and you are definitely confused about what you should do.

I am here for you, bro.

You say you are learning...which you are.

Some of these guys on here can learn too, from your experience.

Your situation is a learning experience for everyone...and the lesson learned here is simple...your situation is exactly why...

It is IMPORTANT TO HAVE A ROTATION!!!

The is a text book example of why you should always have a revolving door of some women coming in, and some going out.

Why?

Because of situations like this.

Think about it this way, if you already had 4-5 girls in your rotation (girls you are sleeping and vibing with), do you think you will feel this way about ONE particular chick?

No, you probably wouldn't.

But if this is the only chick in your basket and you lose her, you will feel the way that you feel because you are living a life of scarcity, instead of abundance.

Example: If you have $800 in your possession, and you lose $100. Sure, it may sting a little but you still have $700 left, so you aint tripping to tough.

But if you only have $100 in your possession, and you lose this single $100 bill, then the way you are effected with this loss is wayyy more significant than in the first case.

That is the difference between having a scarcity mindset, and an abundance mindset.

That is also why you must keep the rotation going...go out cold approaching and approach at least one woman per day.

If you do that, you will never be in this situation again.

Trust me.

Yes. Well said my man. Learning lesson for everyone. Good thing is I do have a rotation. Believe me, I have one that two that are begging for me hahaha.

As Richard Cooper and Tomassi concur;
A) "if she ain't asking you questions"
B) "she takes forever to respond back"
she is being passive and not worth your time. She doesn't have genuine burning desire

I don't know though, would it be worth an effort to be honest with her? You can't reason with women though, that's the thing. It's either love or hate. Once it's set, you cant change it.

 

[Divorced w 3]

A & B are not definative proof of lack of interest. Ive dated and been in relationships with girls that genuinely dont ask too many questions.

What caused you to continue spending time if they had no intellectual connection with you?

 

[oldmanofthesea]

Good thing is I do have a rotation. Believe me, I have one that two that are begging for me hahaha.

If this were true, why are you obsessing so much about this one girl you've met once or twice in-person, at work?

I don't know though, would it be worth an effort to be honest with her?

Yeah, I saw some videos that mention you should be honest with a woman if she ghosts you.

Self-rationalization and confirmation-bias. What you want to hear is that there is a button you can push that will get you what you want. Unfortunately that isn't how dating works. So now you are looking for anything you can find that aligns with what you want to hear while you ignore everything else.

So do what you really want to do. Reach out to her and tell her how you really feel about her. She will appreciate that and it will make her so wet for you, she won't be able to handle it. Something tells me if that if your instincts had been working out well for you and you actually "have one or two begging" for you, you wouldn't be here asking these kinds of basic questions and legitimately considering this kind of cringe statement:

"I understand I came off way too forward and your not comfortable meeting, it's cool. Just wanted to get to know you more, let me know."

Great example of something to NEVER say to a woman. And how would this be honest or even accurate? How forward is a guy who texts a girl he exchanged numbers with and then doesn't even ask her out on a date? Even if you DID ask her out on a date, in what universe would that be "too forward"? Do you think you should have to clean a girl's kitchen or be her emotional tampon for a few months "getting to know her" before being allowed to ASK for a date? What are you apologizing for? Why are you assuming that your "being too forward" is the reason she ghosted you and how do you think it will make her feel if you're not only guessing at her reason for ghosting you, but guessing wrong and then apologizing for it? She is probably disinterested because you didn't ask her out (or because of what you texted her that you refuse to share with us) and now you're going to apologize for being too forward lol. "Not comfortable meeting?" You didn't even ask her to meet with you!

I notice with threads like this that the OP rarely includes the actual text messages.

He has now been asked at least three times and has ignored anyone asking. There is a reason for that.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

Yes. Well said my man. Learning lesson for everyone. Good thing is I do have a rotation. Believe me, I have one that two that are begging for me hahaha.

As Richard Cooper and Tomassi concur;
A) "if she ain't asking you questions"
B) "she takes forever to respond back"
she is being passive and not worth your time. She doesn't have genuine burning desire

I don't know though, would it be worth an effort to be honest with her? You can't reason with women though, that's the thing. It's either love or hate. Once it's set, you cant change it.

Facts.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Intellectual connection? Lmao
Sir I cant entertain that question because your fairly new here. You will have figure that out on your own.

Well I was assuming the obvious haha. Any other reason besides taking her to Pound Town?

 

[Harry Wilmington IDS]

She's not responding because texting kills attraction. Women don't text you to gain a digital pen pal, they text you so you'll know they're interested enough for you to ask them out. Stop trying to have text conversations and use it only to ask women out, and you'll have less problems in general with women losing interest.

To answer your direct question: in my experience, when I text less, I get better results. So now, I hardly text women at all. Even in relationships, my texts messages are minimal; you build better connection in person, which is what you should be striving for instead of striving for text conversations.

 

[TheSpaniard]

If I don’t get a response, I ask her “Can I put a baby in your tummy?”. Makes them laugh and entertains me. Catches them off guard and they’re reaction is hilarious. Some of course won’t respond ‍ mostly for women I have low interest in.

If I have high interest, I always get a number first day. Text them I’m going to call later. Call them and chat for a few minutes. Set up the day, time, and place. If the conversation stalls, I end the call and say see you whatever day.

 

[Divorced w 3]

She's not responding because texting kills attraction. Women don't text you to gain a digital pen pal, they text you so you'll know they're interested enough for you to ask them out. Stop trying to have text conversations and use it only to ask women out, and you'll have less problems in general with women losing interest.

To answer your direct question: in my experience, when I text less, I get better results. So now, I hardly text women at all. Even in relationships, my texts messages are minimal; you build better connection in person, which is what you should be striving for instead of striving for text conversations.

This lawyer I was hooking up with was a serial texter. I am positive it killed the relationship