Potential wife past sexual history

[pipeman84]

I liken it to how it gives ME pleasure giving my husband and boyfriends before him a blow job.

this is from post #103 made by @catsmeow2 from the 'women lose respect from you if you eat them out' thread

Are you guys who are married or considering it affected by the woman's past sexual history? The message I get from the quote above is......I am the Nth guy who has had his d*ck sucked by this woman, the difference between me and them is that I'm called her husband, not boyfriend. Am I the only one here who finds this situation a real turn off? I know there was a user @Colossus who hasn't posted in more than 5 years and he was a big proponent of marrying a virgin. At first I was like...hmm, that might be asking too much. But the more I think about it, the more I think he's right.

PS: no disrespect meant to catsmeow2 and this isn't about her particular situation but what the title of the thread says.

 

[TB24]

My wife's body count is far higher than mine. That always was and still is a problem for me. If it's roughly the same or if your body count is higher, what's the problem?

 

[Dr.Suave]

Me, personally, I would not marry a girl who has had someone else´s d1ck inside her. There could be exceptions, (maybe she´s like my favorite Hollywood actress or something) but those exceptions would be as rare as finding and pulling a virgin who passes the boner test in the 1st place.

It took me decades and a lot of patience and self improvement but I did manage to find and pull someone I think is worthy of marriage. Im planning on putting a ring on it sometime next year.

All that being said, some (most?) guys just dont care that much about the girl not being a virgin. Its not a deal breaker for them. I will never understand it, but I wont judge them or anything. To each his own.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

To be realistic it’s almost impossible to find a virgin in the western world unless she’s extremely sheltered and she VERY YOUNG, they’re out there but they’re unicorns.

That said something happens to women around 35-45 it’s like the monkey brain takes over for a while. The body knows that these are her last years to produce offspring whether or not they already have some.

I’ve talked to many women about this - they tend to agree - they almost collectively lose their minds at those ages. The body says “one last one, get the best genetics you can!”. Many have succumbed hence the frivorces that happen in these age ranges.

Do you want a woman who has never experienced another male wondering about what she missed out on? Methinks it’s a recipe for disaster in this day and age in western society. Any woman of above average looks is being hit on multiple times daily believe it.

I think that in times past it made sense but nowadays it’s iffy. Low count is the best way to go. Imnsho.

Wanting a virgin stems from insecurity in this day and age. If you’re both virgins it could be an amazing bond, but if you’re a guy on this forum you probably aren’t.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Wanting a virgin stems from insecurity in this day and age.

In most cases, for sure, but not all. Would an insecure guy even be able tu pull and keep a virgin who passes the boner test (assuming he can even find one in the 1st place)? I guess it´s technically possible, but highly improbable.

I can only speak for myself but I think a womans virginity is valued because it is rare to find nowdays. Like back when I was a teenager, I didnt care if a girl was a virgin or not, because most of them were! But you start aging, and as you age virgins are more and more rare, so it gets more and more value but only because it keeps getting harder and harder to find.

 

[pipeman84]

Do you want a woman who has never experienced another male wondering about what she missed out on? Methinks it’s a recipe for disaster in this day and age in western society.

Common sense and statistics say that isn't true.

Wanting a virgin stems from insecurity in this day and age.

That's some of the biggest nonsense I've heard. Think about it this way: you want to invest a serious amount of money in a car for long term ownership, you plan to drive it across the continent. In other words you're interested in it, it's not some taxi that drives your around town. Are you insecure because you want a new Mercedes instead of some beaten down VW with 200k miles on it?

I've always been a "relationship girl" and I've learned and grown from each and every one of them.

Each and every experience I've had eventually led me to my husband from whom I'm still learning and growing, as a woman and human being.

I think there's a massive difference between a woman being a slvt and having a few serious LTRs under her belt, but I know there are men who prefer virgins and that's fine, no judgment. To each his own.

I've heard another user put it brilliantly...there's city miles (slvts) and highway miles (LTRs)...in the end it's still high mileage, we can debate which is worse.
I used to go along with that line of thinking....learn and grow from every LTR...but if we follow this logic, then instead of virgins being the ideal marriage material we should all cherish a 40yrs old 3-times divorcee as best marriage prospect.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Something I don't understand about men seeking marriage with only virgins is that many of these same men will preach that if a woman isn't sexually compliant within a very short time (i.e 3-date rule), she gets dumped.

So if you're dumping women for not being compliant, how do you even get to the point of developing a relationship with a virgin leading to marriage?

You would have to ask them. My guess is the 3 date rule applies only for girls who are not virgins, and they dont see them as wife material, only want them as a plate.

 

[Billtx49]

I find it amazing that a search of the previous posts does not contain the words character or personality in references to a future wife…

 

[BadBoy89]

Something I don't understand about men seeking marriage with only virgins is that many of these same men will preach that if a woman isn't sexually compliant within a very short time (i.e 3-date rule), she gets dumped.

So if you're dumping women for not being compliant, how do you even get to the point of developing a relationship with a virgin leading to marriage?

The men seeking virgins is not a real thing nowadays. Men say it, but they don’t really expect it or believe it. Women shouldn't believe it either.

But a woman should believe that she has to put out FAST, especially if she is not a virgin. She gave it up when she was younger and hotter, and now that she is getting older and value is decreasing, she has to give it up even faster, otherwise she is trolling the man.

On another note, I think men will love, develop, and seek a relationship with a slut who looks decent. But they won’t do they same for a woman who has been with ONE man but is divorced.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Ok I’m going to expose personal experience here that I maybe shouldn’t.

My first wife was a virgin when we met, she was brought up in a country where this is commonplace, and not out of the ordinary a few decades ago. I had scant sexual experience as I was quite young when we married.

She truly was my first love, like head over heels, deer in the headlights kind of love. We both were youngsters living abroad - the whole world was our oyster.

A few weeks after we finally decided to get married and two weeks before we did we consummated the deal. We’d been doing everything but until that point, but no penetration. We literally learned everything we knew from each other from the beginning. It was actually her during a naked make out session that finally basically thrust her whole body onto me. It was amazing, we both frankly were so astonished by the emotion surrounding it we held each other for a few minutes and kissed until we went at it like jackrabbits. She wasn’t on bc and I was not wrapped.

In the leading weeks to our marriage we fooled around every day, for hours. I learned about the value of have a strong pelvic floor and my pullout game was impeccable, never knocked her up.

It took her a YEAR to finally have her first bonafide PIV only O and it was so overwhelming for her she shook for a good long time. I was so filled with emotion and pride.

We always had sex for more than an hour every single day we were married except when I was deployed. It was just the most magical thing in the world. She became multiply orgasmic over time as well. It was always the one thing that worked for us up until our divorce and for a while thereafter .

Now the other shoe:
We were so young, in our mid 20’s we realized we’d grown into completely different people and were no longer compatible or had the same life goals. It was heartbreaking but we divorced semi-amicably - we never had kids.

So virginity and (if you can pull it off) amazing sex is not panacea it’s not a magic bullet.

She was stunningly beautiful by any standard, submissive and mine, but still it didn’t work.

Find someone you love and someone you love fncking if you want an LTR. Everyone has a past, adjust.

There have been so many threads about this; @Pandora created one months back reiterating the same sentiments as @Pierce.Manhammer especially regarding a virgin not having any other sexual experiences to draw from and possible FOMO.

Also there's the possibility she has severe sexual hangups/doesnt enjoy sex, or is unable to sexually pair bond, or used her sexual non-compliance in relationships as a manipulation tactic forcing marriage.

I actually knew a woman who used it as a manipulation tactic, her bf married her and divorced her a year later.

So many things that wouldn't be considered positive by anyone's standards in this day and age.

I've never really understood the appeal but I'm not a man; no doubt every man who seeks only virgins for a serious LTR or marriage has his own reasons.

 

[Dr.Suave]

I think that's a fair assessment which would suggest a man know within one or two dates if a particular woman is marriage material which doesn't seem plausible imo.

Its totally possible IF the girl not being a virgin is a deal breaker for the guy.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Ok I’m going to expose personal experience here that I maybe shouldn’t.

My first wife was a virgin when we met, she was brought up in a country where this is commonplace, and not out of the ordinary a few decades ago. I had scant sexual experience as I was quite young when we married.

She truly was my first love, like head over heels, deer in the headlights kind of love. We both were youngsters living abroad - the whole world was our oyster.

A few weeks after we finally decided to get married and two weeks before we did we consummated the deal. We’d been doing everything but until that point, but no penetration. We literally learned everything we knew from each other from the beginning. It was actually her during a naked make out session that finally basically thrust her whole body onto me. It was amazing, we both frankly were so astonished by the emotion surrounding it we held each other for a few minutes and kissed until we went at it like jackrabbits. She wasn’t on bc and I was not wrapped.

In the leading weeks to our marriage we fooled around every day, for hours. I learned about the value of have a strong pelvic floor and my pullout game was impeccable, never knocked her up.

It took her a YEAR to finally have her first bonafide PIV only O and it was so overwhelming for her she shook for a good long time. I was so filled with emotion and pride.

We always had sex for more than an hour every single day we were married except when I was deployed. It was just the most magical thing in the world. She became multiply orgasmic over time as well. It was always the one thing that worked for us up until our divorce and for a while thereafter .

Now the other shoe:
We were so young, in our mid 20’s we realized we’d grown into completely different people and were no longer compatible or had the same life goals. It was heartbreaking but we divorced semi-amicably - we never had kids.

So virginity and (if you can pull it off) amazing sex is not panacea it’s not a magic bullet.

She was stunningly beautiful by any standard, submissive and mine, but still it didn’t work.

Find someone you love and someone you love fncking if you want an LTR. Everyone has a past, adjust.

I thank you so much for sharing that, for real. Still, I will take my chances. Wish me luck

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Me, personally, I would not marry a girl who has had someone else´s d1ck inside her. There could be exceptions, (maybe she´s like my favorite Hollywood actress or something) but those exceptions would be as rare as finding and pulling a virgin who passes the boner test in the 1st place.

It took me decades and a lot of patience and self improvement but I did manage to find and pull someone I think is worthy of marriage. Im planning on putting a ring on it sometime next year.

All that being said, some (most?) guys just dont care that much about the girl not being a virgin. Its not a deal breaker for them. I will never understand it, but I wont judge them or anything. To each his own.

This borders on delusional

 

[Dr.Suave]

This borders on delusional

If you say so bro, sure, whatever, why not

 

[BackInTheGame78]

If you say so bro, sure, whatever, why not

The number of virgins a walking around these days is miniscule. Are you that afraid she will have a reference point for male abilities in the bedroom and you'll come up short?

 

[Dr.Suave]

Not trying to be adversarial but is this even a question that is asked on the first or second date?

Oh btw, are you a virgin? What's your notch count? Lol

I've never been asked this question on any date I've had.

It's something that's discovered down the road as we get to know each other and begin to develop a relationship.

Sometimes it does come up indirectly. Maybe she mentions she had a pregnancy scare this one time.

But most times, it doesnt come up. If I like everything else about the girl and it hasnt come up by date 3, I just ask. People say you shouldn´t ask, people say girls might get offended or something, maybe thats true for them. Throught my life I asked like less than a handfull of times, never had a problem, none of them got offended or angry or anything. Take from that what you will.

 

[Dr.Suave]

The number of virgins a walking around these days is miniscule. Are you that afraid she will have a reference point for male abilities in the bedroom and you'll come up short?

I think I already answered my take on this but here you go bro:

Pierce.Manhammer said:
Wanting a virgin stems from insecurity in this day and age.

In most cases, for sure, but not all. Would an insecure guy even be able tu pull and keep a virgin who passes the boner test (assuming he can even find one in the 1st place)? I guess it´s technically possible, but highly improbable.

 

[Dr.Suave]

@Dr.Suave just out of curiosity have you and your soon to be fiancé has sex? PIV?

Now, now. I will happily answer you, but thorugh PM. If I start going into the details you want, l1ttle b1tches around here will start accusing me of TMI and Humble Bragging. It has happened to me before.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Let's keep in mind the OP is in Mexico, if he's not from Mexico City or some of the other larger metros, he actually DOES stand a chance of finding a virgin. Additionally, 10-year and more significant age gaps between men and women are commonplace in his society.

He should do what he wants. I wish you the best.

"El que puede, puede..."

 

[pipeman84]

Something I don't understand about men seeking marriage with only virgins is that many of these same men will preach that if a woman isn't sexually compliant within a very short time (i.e 3-date rule), she gets dumped.

Men that seek marriage with virgins don't follow the 3 date rule. That rule is for making sure slvts, reformed slvts or whatever don't waste the guy's time and money.