Its shocking to me that a lot of guys struggle so much getting 2nd dates.
If you are cold/warm approaching, I can understand how getting a first date is harder because most of the time the girl is just too scared to say no. OLD, it's much harder to get a second date than first because of the type of women that are on it and it's a swipe app.
I am shocked that
@Steno is shocked.
When I was using the swipe apps and the dating websites before swipe apps, my #1 biggest problem was the "one date, no sex, no second date" problem. The second biggest problem was the quantity of matches. My match percentage of my right swipes was likely under 1%. That's complete shiit. I want to focus on the "one date, no sex, no second date" problem.
In stranger approaching, it is more difficult to get the first date. Getting a woman's attention can be a challenge in park and path approaching due to earbuds. The general gym floor is a toughie too because of the earbuds. Grocery stores and malls got tougher due to indoor masking and I think there's still a slight hangover from 2 years of indoor masking. Even before the pandemic, grocery stores and malls were not all that easy either.
Most men are struggling with getting 2nd dates because a significant number of women are actively entertaining multiple men at any given point in time. All of this is a result of social media and dating apps, where the sheer access they have with men potentially interested in them is something that has never happened before in human history. Prior to these inventions, women were limited to men that were in their immediate geographical area and those that they crossed paths with in some form or another. Most women met men through church, school, work, through friends/family and maybe the occasional random chance occurrence in public. The number of matches women get in a week on a dating app would be what they'd end up meeting perhaps in a lifetime. It's not hard to see why this has created such an issue for men.
This quote is a truth bomb. Every woman using swipe apps today has an abundance mentality. If you're meeting women off of swipe apps, her swipe and queue is at least hundreds deep. This has raised her expectations to stratospheric levels. She must have "all the feelz" to have a 2nd date. I have personally experienced dates very similar dates in the mid-2000s compared to 2015-present. In the mid-2000s, that date would have warranted a 2nd date. 2015-present, that same quality date results in a ghosting or a flaking simply because of female abundance.
A female doesn't even need to be on swipe apps to have abundance. If she's active on any social media platform, her DMs have a lot of date offers. It's understandable why men would try to slide in to DMs on Instagram or Twitter. However, even LinkedIn is full of men DM'ing women for dates and sexual favors.
An average looking, childless 30 something year old woman today has more penis options than a 19-22 year old supermodel did in 1988.
Who the hell cares if you do or don't get a 2nd date. Let's say you get some number off of social media, dating app or some random chance occurrence in public. Women in this situation are still strangers and a number might not even mean anything. Let's say you do actually get her out on a date, many women will go on a first date type setting with men they are luke warm towards for a host of reasons.
Social media, dating apps, or random stranger approachers are how SoSuave forum members would meet men. Men with solid social circles never find their way to a seducers internet forum.
Female abundance of options is the number 1 reason why most men don't get 2nd dates. Yes, there are men that do dumb things on 1st dates. However, there's also an abundance of information online about what not to do on an early stage or 1st date and most men have read those articles or watched those YouTube videos within a few years of starting dating. Most men know what pitfalls to avoid. 2nd dates come down to female options in most cases. Women have stratospheric expectations now for first dates if they use a swipe app or social media, regardless of the method you use to meet her. If she doesn't have "all the feelz" and she likes the unknown that exists in her DMs on social media or her inbox/swipe queue on an app, then you're finished as a man.
You'll make yourself go insane trying to figure something like this out, at the end of the day you barely even know this person and shouldn't care if she wants to continue seeing you or not. I guarantee there is nothing unique or special about these women, too many men that care too much about stuff like this are often coming from an emotional place of scarcity.
No man will ever know the reasons for sure why he is having too many "one date, no sex, no second date" type interactions. There are interactions that are so bad that a man won't want to offer a 2nd date, but those are the minority. The more common occurrence is the man remaning interested, offering a 2nd date, and having the woman ghost or flake on the interaction.
Men are coming from scarcity due to increasing rates of sexlessness, difficulty getting attention offline (especially in daygame for those brave enough to try daygame), and the time suck of the dating apps.
If you're using swipe apps and experiencing too many "one date, no sex, no second date" interactions, the best option is to leave swipe apps.
. I recently broke a super long streak of getting a 2nd date by experimenting with this, I had a VERY LIGHT make-out with a girl towards the end of a 1st date and gently squeezed her booty. She clearly liked it and she held my hands for like 3 minutes afterwards. That same night she was texting me like crazy but the next day she was being weird through text (taking ages to respond) and 2 days after she completely ghosted me. This is very weird but I get very unusual results when things get spicy on 1st dates so save that stuff for 2nd date on-wards.
