Reasons why you did not get a second date

[thermodynamic]

I usually attribute not getting a second date to some sort of failure on my part. What where the reasons you did not get a second date? What is your success rate with getting a second date?

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

I usually attribute not getting a second date to some sort of failure on my part. What where the reasons you did not get a second date? What is your success rate with getting a second date?

From my experience, OLD is full of spark chasers and girls on there just looking to waste your time. These girls have extremely high and unreasonable expectations for a guy on a first date despite them not bringing much to the table themselves. The longer the first date, the more negative things she rationalizes to herself about you. At the end of the day who cares and even if you did have sex with her, she was going to play games later down the road anyway. This is leaves men with two options:

1). Go for sex on the first date by straight up asking her to your place- I don't recommend this one because you could get catfished, she could be crazy, and not every girl is going to want to do this.

2). Keep the first date to a maximum 30-minute coffee date- This is not enough time for her to over rationalize everything and give you that I'm not feeling a romantic connection BS after the first date. If she begs you for dinner or drinks instead then drop her. If she doesn't like you then you only wasted 10 bucks and 30 minutes of your time as opposed to 30 to 100 bucks and over a hour.

 

[Zimbabwe]

I had a great date with a girl we made out at the end.

After she texted me that since our zodiac signs are not compatible, that she won't be seeing me again.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

I had a great date with a girl we made out at the end.

After she texted me that since our zodiac signs are not compatible, that she won't be seeing me again.

I love it

 

[espanish]

I usually attribute not getting a second date to some sort of failure on my part. What where the reasons you did not get a second date? What is your success rate with getting a second date?

off the top of my head: 1) I acted confident in initial approach but for some reason lost all confidence during the date and acted like a weirdo 2) I did not like the girl because I felt that she is too bossy and didn't make me feel like a man 3) there was simply no connection 4) I said some things that she viewed as inappropriate

if a girl doesn't give her number easily, it's more likely I get a second date. if a girl gives her number easily, it's very likely the date will be a failure because there is no connection (she is not who I thought she was and I am not who she thought I am)

 

[Atom Smasher]

I once drove the wrong way on a one way street with fairly heavy traffic on a date. I had taken some medication for an ailing stomach and my judgement may have been just a bit off. No second date.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Mostly that she just isn't interested or you just didn't do it for her from a looks standpoint.

 

[member160292]

When I was younger, I once showed a girl my handgun in the trunk. She had her brother pick her up.

I did get a warm sorry there wasn't a connection text the next day

 

[SW15]

From my experience, OLD is full of spark chasers and girls on there just looking to waste your time. These girls have extremely high and unreasonable expectations for a guy on a first date despite them not bringing much to the table themselves. At the end of the day who cares and even if you did have sex with her, she was going to play games later down the road anyway.

This is insightful and a good argument for not doing tech-assisted dating. The swipe apps are the worst form of tech-assisted dating because women maximize their options on the swipe apps and get more entitled and unreasonable from the attention/validation.

Most men are better off not using swipe apps to arrange dates. Swipe apps will result in more quantity of dates than approaching strangers in a lot of cases. However, the quality of swipe app dates tends to be lower and there's a much higher risk of "one date, no sex, no second date" type dates.

Keep the first date to a maximum 30-minute coffee date- This is not enough time for her to over rationalize everything and give you that I'm not feeling a romantic connection BS after the first date. If she begs you for dinner or drinks instead then drop her. If she doesn't like you then you only wasted 10 bucks and 30 minutes of your time as opposed to 30 to 100 bucks and over a hour.

Coffee dates are a waste of time. This is a bad choice for swipe app arranged dates.

There is not a sexual vibe in any coffee house. A woman will walk away from any coffeehouse date not feeling any sort of romantic connection, which means no first date. Most women on swipe apps are chasing that immediate spark and you won't get it in a coffeehouse. If the date was arranged from a stranger approach in-person, those women are slightly less entitled and unreasonable but even they are quick to dismiss a prospect, especially if they are running an app on their phone, which you'd never know when you approached them in person. With first dates arranged from stranger approaches in-person, swipe apps, or Instagram DM's, you're going to need to create a spark fast to get a second date and a coffee house is too neutral of a venue to create that spark. Alcohol and other stimuli helps with that spark creation. Swipe app participant females need that spark fastest.

I usually attribute not getting a second date to some sort of failure on my part. What where the reasons you did not get a second date?

Many times when you don't get the second date, it has little to do with the game that you run on the date. You'll never know the reasons why you didn't get a second date, which is frustrating for process improvement. Women generally ghost with little to no explanation. The few explanations you may get would be so general and unhelpful at all. 90%+ will be ghosts/flakes with 0 explanation.

 

[SW15]

Normally though, if it ends at the first date its my choice.

Lifetime, I have had more women make the choice to end it after the first date than I have ended it after the first date.

I have offered plenty of second dates and been ghosted/flaked on. There have been times where I didn't offer a 2nd date simply because I knew there was zero chance she'd accept. Very few times have I just absolutely disliked the woman so much that I wanted nothing to do with her.

The worst dates I've had were all arranged via dating website or swipe app. Since I exited the swipe apps, I've had fewer prospects but higher quality first dates.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Coffee dates are a waste of time. This is a bad choice for swipe app arranged dates.

There is not a sexual vibe in any coffee house. A woman will walk away from any coffeehouse date not feeling any sort of romantic connection, which means no first date. Most women on swipe apps are chasing that immediate spark and you won't get it in a coffeehouse.

Idk man, these girls will waste your time and money even if they know they are going to ghost you after the date. These girls have a certain image of you in their head before y'all meet and if you don't meet that exact imagine then you get ghosted lol. She could immediately be turned off by your energy type upon first meeting, but she's not going to end the date. She will let you take her out on this 2-3 hour adventure date and then ghost your ass the next day lol. On OLD, you aren't dealing with rationale minded women, you are dealing with fantasy dreamers lol. The longer you are with this girl on a first date, the more things she can find about you to neg you against. Men are just looking for a girl that looks like her pictures, isn't insane, and sex on the first date if it happens. Women are trying to see if you are some Tarzan Tupac with a degree first lol.

 

[SW15]

On OLD, you aren't dealing with rationale minded women, you are dealing with fantasy dreamers lol.

Which is why you want to arrange your dates in another venue. There are other options besides swipe apps.

Men are just looking for a girl that looks like her pictures, isn't insane, and sex on the first date if it happens.

Many men are generally more reasonable. Many men are willing to wait a few dates and see if a spark develops. Women want "all the feelz" within the first 5 minutes of the first date from a swipe app.

 

[Murk]

I usually attribute not getting a second date to some sort of failure on my part.

Because it is.

 

[thermodynamic]

When I was younger, I once showed a girl my handgun in the trunk. She had her brother pick her up.

I did get a warm sorry there wasn't a connection text the next day

you showed it to her too soon bro ...

 

[nismo-4]

Any action or inaction, having too much of something or not enough thereof, having something or not, one factor can be a deal breaker.

Maybe you cheer for Ohio State. Maybe you wore the same shirt her ex wore. She doesn't like your favorite color. Maybe she saw you driving something that wasn't a Mercedes or a Lexus. Maybe you wear Nike instead of Reebok. Maybe your zodiac sign or skin color costed you. Maybe you were alpha and she wanted a simp. Maybe a bench warmer from the Houston Rockets slid in her DM's. Maybe she didn't like your presence on Instagram.

Who the hell knows. If you ask, there's a 1/256 chance she'll tell you why. FAIK, she planned on having Tyrone pipe her out. She just needed a simp to buy her food so she could feed Tyrone for the sex workout she's gonna get 2 hours later.

 

[lost_blackbird]

When I was younger, I once showed a girl my handgun in the trunk. She had her brother pick her up.

I did get a warm sorry there wasn't a connection text the next day

When a mans got a gat, even a woman can find it in herself to be civilised.

 

[Rainman4707]

Well. All depends on what type guy you are. As i was standing in front of my naked first date saturday night she said "you're very good looking and you have a GREAT body, so I think that's the reason of your previous successes with women"

However I'm a nice guy...haven't been able to change that about myself.

General knowledge...most girls want Chad. On tinder they pretty much tell you what they want on their profile. "I want someone with banter, someone to connect with"

My banter is pretty poor. I'm weird and miserable. It's just who I am. So that will be the reason for my first date fails.

 

[bat soup]

I usually attribute not getting a second date to some sort of failure on my part. What where the reasons you did not get a second date? What is your success rate with getting a second date?

As said before, a lot of the women on OLD and other websites are just timewasters. They've got 1000 other guys in their inbox and they're probably there for a reason in the first place.

It's one of those strange things in life, that it seems that the absolute worst places to meet a potential partner are those set up for that purpose.

 

[Zimbabwe]

As said before, a lot of the women on OLD and other websites are just timewasters. They've got 1000 other guys in their inbox and they're probably there for a reason in the first place.

It's one of those strange things in life, that it seems that the absolute worst places to meet a potential partner are those set up for that purpose.

These swipe apps wouldn't be in buisness if people actually found partners and got off the app. The goal is to keep them on the app forever like a gambling addict wasting his hard earned cash on the slot machine.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Many men are generally more reasonable. Many men are willing to wait a few dates and see if a spark develops. Women want "all the feelz" within the first 5 minutes of the first date from a swipe app.

I called a girl recently out on this. She told me she didn't feel a romantic connection on our first date, and I basically told her she was an idiot to expect a deep connection in the first date which would make her vulnerable to sadistic psychopaths ha. I didn't care because she was pump and dump material in my eyes lol.