FR: Date 7/13/22(Deep Dive)

[nicksaiz65]

This is becoming a bigger and bigger problem with Western men today as we become an economy based more upon knowledge work than manual labor.



Agree



If a woman says she wants to go to your place, you go to your place. When you break it down like that, it sounds like a massive fail.



Because Doc Love originally proposed that idea in the 1990s. It might have had merit in the 1990s. It's far more difficult to justify now. Women are being bombarded with messages from men. Life moves faster now than it did in the 1990s. I've never implemented that idea though I have read about it.

Yeah, when you put it like that, it does sound like a massive fumble
Ah, well. I missed the detail about venue changes being optional in the Roosh books. Gotta test it in the real world. Now we know.

It doesn’t necessarily need to be that long. Like I was saying though, just texting to set up the date(Roosh endorses this as well) is what I’ve found works best for me. Every time I tried to be more elaborate with the texting, I would put my foot in my mouth and come off as needy. That problem went away when I started texting for logistics. It’s a lot less stressful and more efficient too.

 

[SW15]

Only text for logistics.

The telephone has been troublesome for men for generations. In the last 10-12 years or so, there's been an over reliance upon text message rather than phone calls. This is one of the elements of dating that I despise with a passion. I'd rather date 1992 style with only phone calls.

However, guys in the the 1980s-early 2000s had problems managing the telephone and the technology of that era too.

 

[nicksaiz65]

Only text for logistics.

The telephone has been troublesome for men for generations. In the last 10-12 years or so, there's been an over reliance upon text message rather than phone calls. This is one of the elements of dating that I despise with a passion. I'd rather date 1992 style with only phone calls.

However, guys in the the 1980s-early 2000s had problems managing the telephone and the technology of that era too.

I agree. There’s two camps of that on this board. I can see where the others are coming from, but for me, texting for logistics worked infinitely better.

I think every guy needs to find what works for them because we all have different personalities

 

[nicksaiz65]

Cards Against Humanity is fine...that game is fvcking hilarious. Spades or Hearts or Rummy is not...it basically is a time filler that isn't getting you any closer to your end goal. You aren't going to make her panties wet if you have a straight flush.

Darts places you in proximity to her and she will be bending down to pick up darts if she doesn't get them to stick(which is a lot of she is like most women) at which point you can comment about her doing that on purpose to show her ass off, etc...

I also "distract them" if they are doing well by brushing their hair aside and whispering in their ear how amazing they smell, or some other flirty comment that is designed to "throw them off their game".

Never have played ping pong on a date so I can't answer to that one.

Ah, I see. That makes more sense. And yeah, Cards Against Humanity is a riot lol.

To be specific, we played a round of UNO at the second bar. But like I said, that issue would’ve been mitigated had I pulled her to my house. Then it would’ve been pool, and me fvcking her lol.

I have done darts on previous dates, and that went very well. Actually, on that date, I definitely got the kiss before the home venue change. I did the exact same thing that you mentioned there. Great way to flirt. Closed that one first night, too. My FR is still on the board.

My only issue with darts is that the only places you can play them, where I live, are smoky bars. I HATE smoky bars with a passion lol. That’s probably an issue just with my location though. Otherwise, I’d do it more as a date activity.

Damn, you’ve got me thinking about my local darts bar now. I want some mozzarella sticks from there, but I’m not breaking my fast until 5 PM tomorrow

 

[nicksaiz65]

Just my take but this^ sounds like you meant some time in the future, not that same night. It's how I would have interpreted.

If she had said "I'm down for that!" instead of "I would be down" (which implies in the future) it could have been taken as that same night.

I dunno I know it's semantics but sometimes with a quality girl, you push back to yours too soon, like the first date, it may backfire.

It sounds very thirsty and over-eager, give a girl time to wonder about your sexual interest and next date she may be inviting you to hers!

I agree with kiss her within 30-60 minutes, it creates a romantic dynamic versus platonic and gives her something to think about and remember after the date.

The difference between playing cards in some bar or venue versus playing pool back at yours is obvious imo.

Hmm, good point. Though, I am paraphrasing. She might have said “I’m down,” or “I’d be down.” I’m not quite sure! I can’t commit details like that to memory lol.

If it was future tense, I’d say something along the lines of “Dope. Let’s finish our drinks and go right now then!” I’ll bet she would’ve accepted!

Yeah, for sure. At my place I can escalate all the way to the close of course.

I frigging love my new apartment. Game room is a 30 second walk away. The logistics are so good! Effortless pull excuse.

 

[nicksaiz65]

Redheads make me weak in the knees, so I'm already envious. You really needed to kiss her though, you're a man, you're expected to make that happen, and the fact that you didn't will not register positively in her mind. She will likely think (correctly) that you lost your nerve.

That whole thing read like a bad PUA book, with all the PUA techniques and terminology. I know Mystery did it, but I just couldn't function and think like that while I'm out trying to have some fun. It would be too much of a distraction. If you can do it, good for you, I guess.

Yeah, I’m usually a blond/brunette kind of guy. But redheads are pretty cute too. I think this is the first redhead I’ve been on a date with?

Yeah, the combination of errors I made caused me to not even go for the kiss. Again, I won’t make these mistakes a second time.

Damn bro, I can’t even have it read like a good PUA book? I thought I was a good writer lol. Guess I’ll have to read more

On the date, I’m not analyzing all these details like I am in post lol. I’m just having a good time, and I have these details in the back of my mind. I do like to have some structure. But overall, I’m just vibing.

 

[SW15]

I agree. There’s two camps of that on this board. I can see where the others are coming from, but for me, texting for logistics worked infinitely better.

I think every guy needs to find what works for them because we all have different personalities

The biggest problem I observe with current era use of telephones is that some women seem unable or unwilling to have voice conversations.

I've also known some men who are phobic of voice conversations as well and highly resistant to them.

 

[nicksaiz65]

The biggest problem I observe with current era use of telephones is that some women seem unable or unwilling to have voice conversations.

I've also known some men who are phobic of voice conversations as well and highly resistant to them.

I’ve wanted to experiment more with FaceTiming or calling once before the date.

Something I’ll look to in the future. I’ve heard some say that it can reduce your flake rate

 

[SW15]

I’ve wanted to experiment more with FaceTiming or calling once before the date.

Something I’ll look to in the future. I’ve heard some say that it can reduce your flake rate

For the audience that meets on swipe apps, I think video chats can be useful. I don't perceive any usefulness in FaceTime or video if the initial interaction was in-person.

Back in the era of dating websites, there was a time that I did phone calls prior to meeting in-person. I found it had no effect upon reducing "one date, no sex, no second date" instances. As the 2010s emerged, it got more difficult to arrange phone calls.

If you do an in-person approach and have an extended in-person conversation, the best flake rate reduction tactic is setting the first date in-person including all applicable details while in-person. Then collect the number and send a text recapping the agreed upon applicable details.

As I've said, men have had issues with the telephone with women for decades. It's best to eliminate as much telephone use as possible in both the early stages and even as the relationship matures. It's more relevant in the early stages, pre-sex part of an interaction.

There have been times where I have would have preferred more voice conversations with both women and male friends.

 

[EyeBRollin]

That is horrible advice, you are going to end up getting ghosted if you wait that long. I would follow up with the chick the next day

Waiting 7 to 9 days to contact her is horrible advice.

Both of you are so wrong it is incredible.

 

[nicksaiz65]

Well bois, reached out for another date and got ghosted as expected. GGs, it’s been an honor fighting with you all lol. I did make several mistakes on this date, so that’s to be expected tbh.

I always like sharing both my successes and failures with the board because it’s good to learn from both imo.

Y’all can feel free to fact check me on this one, but literally every single date I go on where I don’t close her that first night(due to my own fumbling usually) I never see her again. EVER! This has happened to me many, many, many times.

I’m thinking that Roosh is bang on the money with his assessment. If you don’t bang her on that first date, expect to never see her again.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Well bois, reached out for another date and got ghosted as expected. GGs, it’s been an honor fighting with you all lol. I did make several mistakes on this date, so that’s to be expected tbh.

I always like sharing both my successes and failures with the board because it’s good to learn from both imo.

Y’all can feel free to fact check me on this one, but literally every single date I go on where I don’t close her that first night(due to my own fumbling usually) I never see her again. EVER! This has happened to me many, many, many times.

I’m thinking that Roosh is bang on the money with his assessment. If you don’t bang her on that first date, expect to never see her again.

I think this is because you are likely coming on too strong attempting to get sex on the first date and simply scaring these other ones off because they think all you want is to get laid.

Sometimes it happens to me also but not Everytime. Not even most times.