Girl accuses me TWICE of being a liar, when I'm not expressing EXACTLY how I feel in the EXACT moment...crazy?

harrison9876

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I've been dating this girl for the past couple months. It was very very intense from the get-go... And things were actually going quite well. One thing that seemed like a weeeee bit of a red flag is that on the third date she said she loved me (who can blame her right? )

I'm not one to judge anyone per se, in terms of how one feels or what they're feeling in the moment.. but in some ways it felt pretty fast.

Keep in mind, though, the past couple months there have been some disagreements. One thing she said to me about a week and a half ago was that if I'm not telling her "exactly" how I feel in the moment, then I am essentially lying to her.

?

This is after I called her out on something that was bothering me throughout the day. I sort of kept my mouth shut at the time, and later in the day I brought it up... Just when timing was better and it made more sense.

We talked it out, resolved everything.. and everything seemed really good.

She slept over a few times since, and this past weekend we spent about 3 days with each other.

Again, things went really well.

Today I had to get up early to go to the gym.. she had to get up early to go to a film set... So we were both in a rush...sort of going separate directions.

Because she didn't pack anything the night before she was mega stressed out and was concerned about getting there on time.

Being kind.. and with her obviously freaking out... I did not rush her.. and stayed aroud longer then I wanted to, in order to make sure she had everything packed correctly and was able to get out.

So basically, I left about 15 minutes later than I wanted to,. Was I a bit bothered by it.. yes.. but it was my choice.

I did think about just giving her the key, leaving, and just telling her to lock up when she ready to go.. But I know her well enough that she probably would not have reacted well to that. Plus it didn't really feel right in the moment.

So...I stuck around, helped her pack her car, kissed her goodbye, I made sure she left okay. Again, in my mind that was me doing a kinder thing.

After I get to the gym, I get a frustrated and angry voice message from her because supposedly I contributed to the majority of her stress...

Supposedly (unknown to me) she picked up on the fact that I was a little bit bothered by me hanging around later than I wanted to, which in turn made her a even more stressed.

I couldn't call her back because she was on set, so I in turn, left her a voice message apologizing as that was not my intention. I also told her I thought about giving leaving and simply giving her the key.. but sort of assumed she would not like that.

I figured everything was sort of smooth out after that..

I was wrong.

She thanked me for the message via text.. said she got on set fine and things are a bit calmer... And then she proceeded to tear me a new arse, accusing me of being dishonest and lying to her.

It was the same as before: because I didn't express my exact feelings in that exact moment of time... That was me not being honest and essentially lying to her in that moment. She then yelled at me for "assuming" things without bringing them up... And told me that it's a deal breaker when someone is not being honest... And that she does not usually give many chances to people in that regard.

??

These messages went on and on and on and on and on and on and on.

I was so angry that she was again accusing me of being a liar and being dishonest... That I told her to immediately stop messaging me. And that this is completely unacceptable... And not something I appreciate. I said a few more things along those lines and told her that when I want to speak to her I will call her.

2 hours later she sends me another text message, telling me she doesn't like the fact that I'm controlling her... Controlling her how she can confront me.. etc etc etc and says that we should not be together anymore (I actually deleted the entire message as I just did not want to deal with it).

I was just never going to respond or call her again.

Thoughts?

TIA

Mike
 
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Has she had this type of behavior during the 2 months together? It's crazy how she could hide this side for so long.

Did you guys bang during the weekend at all?
 

jimwho

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Dude!!! Disappear immediately. Also for about ten days keep all the lights off in your house at night. Keep the car
In the garage so it seems like you're not home. Get a bullet proof vest o_O
 

harrison9876

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To answer the above question... Every time I see her we have sex. Once, sometimes twice a day. The sex is crazy.

Last night I remembered she knows where my spare key is....
 

harrison9876

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Has she had this type of behavior during the 2 months together? It's crazy how she could hide this side for so long.

Did you guys bang during the weekend at all?
Things were pretty intense when we met... Very very connected and we were very very sexual from the get-go. I know she's addicted to me sexually because of how I make her feel.

Within the first couple of weeks, she said that we had to see each other twice a week..otherwise she would have to get a lover to fill in the spaces. Later, she admitted this was because of her own insecurities...

The week after that, she said she really just needs to have contact every single day (including some sort of FaceTime)...to feel connected to me.
 

BackInTheGame78

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She doesn't like the fact her emotions are out of control around you and she is trying to get some sense of grounding from you to help in that regard is my guess.

But that being said, this chick sounds like a whack-a-doodle. Like the type of chick you'll wake up one morning with her sitting on your chest holding a butcher knife over you asking about who has been texting you after she went through your phone while you were sleeping.

I'd probably bail but try and do it easy on her as to not provoke "fatal attraction" from her.
 

Machine10033

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Bro... block her... why the fck would you even entertain this. She has major issues... tell her this isn’t working out and good luck.

Best sex I’ve ever had was with a chick with bpd.... one night she went insane.... I thought she was on drugs...we had booked a room at a hotel near where she worked... I remember being so frazzled by how crazy she was talking I grabbed my **** and walked out.... my phone immediately blew up.... I couldn’t get to my car fast enough. I then realized I left my keys next to the bed .... I ran back in.... started banging on the door... she was screaming at the top of her lungs for me to f myself.... I opened the door.... ran in... tripped over her because she was on the floor screaming and crying... grabbed my keys and bolted. That situation could have ended horribly because of how insane she was at that moment. I actually stayed cordial with her... because I figured if I wasn’t she might actually murder me. Get out now !!
 

BackInTheGame78

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Bro... block her... why the fck would you even entertain this. She has major issues... tell her this isn’t working out and good luck.

Best sex I’ve ever had was with a chick with bpd.... one night she went insane.... I thought she was on drugs...we had booked a room at a hotel near where she worked... I remember being so frazzled by how crazy she was talking I grabbed my **** and walked out.... my phone immediately blew up.... I couldn’t get to my car fast enough. I then realized I left my keys next to the bed .... I ran back in.... started banging on the door... she was screaming at the top of her lungs for me to f myself.... I opened the door.... ran in... tripped over her because she was on the floor screaming and crying... grabbed my keys and bolted. That situation could have ended horribly because of how insane she was at that moment. I actually stayed cordial with her... because I figured if I wasn’t she might actually murder me. Get out now !!
Yeah...this type of fatal attraction scenario is one to extract yourself from ASAP.
 

Machine10033

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Yeah...this type of fatal attraction scenario is one to extract yourself from ASAP.
I remember as I was fleeing in my car... thinking this psycho might be coming up behind me.. trying to run me off the road .... I felt like Jesse Pinkham did when he escaped in breaking bad ! I don’t do crazy anymore... very subtle signs were there... similar to the ones the OP is seeing now!
 
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You guys have been through some wild women here. Is there a thread on what to look out for to identify BPD? The search function is clunky.
 

Dr.Suave

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You dodged a bullet
 

BackInTheGame78

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I remember as I was fleeing in my car... thinking this psycho might be coming up behind me.. trying to run me off the road .... I felt like Jesse Pinkham did when he escaped in breaking bad ! I don’t do crazy anymore... very subtle signs were there... similar to the ones the OP is seeing now!
I had a similar experience with one, most naturally beautiful woman I ever dated...she had a stunning face...just angelic, great hair, super cool personality...super intense first date, second date ended up in my car where we went for a walk and while driving back she took my hand and ran out up her legs under her shorts where I could feel marks and she told me she used to cut herself but she was "all better now".

Third date after going out to eat and making out heavily in the outside patio of a bar where we were the only two people, ended up in my backseat where she gave me a hellified BJ and I ended up fingering her and sucking on her titties.
Almost ended up getting a hotel but didn't and then once we stopped her behavior did a 180 where she became very distant and cold...

Dropped her off at her house and never saw her again after that...

Found out later she ended up getting knocked up by some fat slob that looked like he was about a 2 that worked at the local Subway as a night manager and then saw her a few years later at a restaurant where she was the waitress and she had gained about 80 lbs and was disgusting...and of course was no longer with the dude after getting him on the hook for 18 years.

I was in peak shape at that time with abs and everything so I am assuming she chose the slob since he was easy to control and would worship her since there was no way he was getting a chick that looked like her again. Also found out she was into lots of drugs and hung out with dealers a lot.

Really happy I dodged that bullet...sometimes things don't work out for a reason.
 
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sangheilios

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Things were pretty intense when we met... Very very connected and we were very very sexual from the get-go. I know she's addicted to me sexually because of how I make her feel.

Within the first couple of weeks, she said that we had to see each other twice a week..otherwise she would have to get a lover to fill in the spaces. Later, she admitted this was because of her own insecurities...

The week after that, she said she really just needs to have contact every single day (including some sort of FaceTime)...to feel connected to me.
She'll most likely behave like this with the next guy that enters into her life. I've never been involved in a situation like this, but I had a friend that was involved with a woman like this that was absolutely obsessed with him. He always talked about how amazing the sex with her was and I feel that was the sole reason why he couldn't fully cut her off, even though he kept talking about doing so. She was purely just a source of sexual satisfaction though and knew full well that she was not relationship material. I feel the biggest issue is when men enjoy the sex so much they actually develop feelings for these women and form an actual relationship with them.
 

sangheilios

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You guys have been through some wild women here. Is there a thread on what to look out for to identify BPD? The search function is clunky.
From what I've read and observed what other men went through, here is what I understand of it.

Very often these women develop very intense attachments to you but with it occurring in a timeframe that it would be inappropriate, @harrison9876 even mentioned this in his original post. It's like you had a few dates with her and she is already saying she loves you or wants to be around you all the time, texting you constantly, etc. They also tend to be hypersexual, I'm not really sure why this is but I always had the feeling it was to please the man so that he doesn't leave. Without writing an entire essay, I feel like the trend is behaving in a way where intense emotions fluctuate. First they love you and want to please you in every single manner, then when they feel you have left them or are unavailable, they totally hate you and you are the worst person in the world.......only for them to swing back the other way.

Just read some of the stories on this forum and you'll see a pattern.
 

BackInTheGame78

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From what I've read and observed what other men went through, here is what I understand of it.

Very often these women develop very intense attachments to you but with it occurring in a timeframe that it would be inappropriate, @harrison9876 even mentioned this in his original post. It's like you had a few dates with her and she is already saying she loves you or wants to be around you all the time, texting you constantly, etc. They also tend to be hypersexual, I'm not really sure why this is but I always had the feeling it was to please the man so that he doesn't leave. Without writing an entire essay, I feel like the trend is behaving in a way where intense emotions fluctuate. First they love you and want to please you in every single manner, then when they feel you have left them or are unavailable, they totally hate you and you are the worst person in the world.......only for them to swing back the other way.

Just read some of the stories on this forum and you'll see a pattern.
Yeah it's like stuff that should take many months happens in like a few weeks.
 

sangheilios

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Yeah it's like stuff that should take many months happens in like a few weeks.
I mean, behavior like this in general shouldn't ever happen, the whole intense roller coaster of emotions in itself is a very bad sign. However, for a woman to already show this behavior to a man in a short period of time, one where you are just starting to get to know one another, and that is a huge red flag. The problem is so many men are desperate for any form of female attention, let alone sex, and they will tolerate behavior like this, regardless of all the issues that are right in front of them.
 

BackInTheGame78

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I mean, behavior like this in general shouldn't ever happen, the whole intense roller coaster of emotions in itself is a very bad sign. However, for a woman to already show this behavior to a man in a short period of time, one where you are just starting to get to know one another, and that is a huge red flag. The problem is so many men are desperate for any form of female attention, let alone sex, and they will tolerate behavior like this, regardless of all the issues that are right in front of them.
I meant her saying I love you on the third date, but yeah the other stuff is a little crazy
 

Billtx49

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You guys have been through some wild women here. Is there a thread on what to look out for to identify BPD? The search function is clunky.
Start with this one:
A forum titles only search for the word borderline will return results back to 2004.
 
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