Men afraid to approach?

Ladykiler

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Rollo always talks about Instagram being the #1 dating app. Does anyone actually meet people on IG, or do you meet them IRL and then add them to IG?
You can but have high quality pics and a decent following will help
 

derby1

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I’d personally only do free dates or dates not costing no more than a 30 bucks with a chick

especially the first date
everything in the UK, has gone really expensive bro, a pint of beer in a half decent pub, is 6 uk Pounds.
our petrol is almost 2 UK pounds a litre
 

biggoal

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I’d personally only do free dates or dates not costing no more than a 30 bucks with a chick

especially the first date
What happens if you live in a major city? They expect a man to have $$ and will see that as cheap. That cheap stuff wont work in chicago, la or nyc
 

biggoal

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everything in the UK, has gone really expensive bro, a pint of beer in a half decent pub, is 6 uk Pounds.
our petrol is almost 2 UK pounds a litre
Same here in the us. Going out to eat getting expensive. I notice drinks have gone way up as well. Groceries getting out of hand too.
 

HaleyBaron

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There are a few problems with why guys don't approach that much, but the biggest one I noticed is:
  • Everyone in the surrounding is against you. Other guys, other girls, the employees, the cops, the bartenders, and the bouncers. So if a guy fails, he gets seen as a negative to everyone and it embarrasses him super hard. And others will warn of said guy and see him as a failure or creeper even who is desperate for *****. It doesn't help that girls will make fun of guys who hit on them. You have no idea how shameless women are in bragging about the guys who hit on her and how bad they are, painting the guy as a loser. It has gotten worse these days cause girls now have so many options that they are out here looking mostly for attention. Imagine going to a strip club, but now the girls are like that everywhere with the look do not touch attitude. So guys in their head think they only got one shot and they don't want to waste it to ruin the mood or vibe.
 

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oldmanofthesea

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I am wondering how many people in this thread who talk about girls blowing guys out on approaches, or strangers being against them, are experiencing all of these things this first-hand, because my experience has been quite the opposite. How could that be? The only time an employee or cop or bouncer or whatever is going to get down on a guy for approaching a woman is if he was either an a-hole, totally uncalibrated, or more likely than that, if he wouldn't take no for an answer. There is nothing wrong with making conversation with a member of the opposite sex and that's how all approaches (should) start out.

As to onlookers, no one is "against" me. I used to think they would be before I started approaching consistently, but once I did, I realized it was a made-up, self-limiting fear. Most women wish they'd get approached so they look at you longingly when you do it to another woman. Most guys wish they had the balls to approach so they look at you with admiration. The remainder ignore you completely. You aren't that special - no one really cares. And not only that, even if people judged you, who the FVCK cares? Part of being a masculine man is doing what you know is right and accepting ZERO judgement from other people who happen to have a different opinion about it.

The worst reaction I ever get when approaching is a girl who is already walking and refuses to stop and either ignores me or says "I'm not interested," and this only happens maybe 5% of the time. Also combined into that 5% is when a woman is stopped and, while she will talk with me, her answers are short, she is nervous, and I can tell just isn't interested so I keep the chat brief and move on. Big deal. Most women are quite friendly and interested in having a dialogue, even if they end up not being romantically interested or are unavailable. I've never had a woman get nasty or make fun of me or act really rude. I don't approach at night-clubs and this could be part of why - I don't advise guys to go to night clubs nor approach women there. The closest thing to a night club I would approach at would be a brewery or a restaurant that has a patio bar and I usually don't go to these late at night - daytime or late afternoon is better. Better quality of women.

So for those of you who have personally had really bad blow-outs, where was it? What was the situation? What did you say and what did she say?

As for the comment that approaching any woman you find attractive "reeks of desperation," that's like telling a salesman he should let sales opportunities drop because he doesn't want to be judged as desperate by some third party. First of all, you miss every shot you don't take, and second, once again, who cares what someone else thinks if you know what you are doing is right and it is leading you to the sex life you've always dreamed of having? If someone wants to tell me I'm desperate for sleeping with a bunch of 7's and 8's who are over 20 years younger than me, because I cold approach attractive women, that's cool by me and it will give me a laugh. Success breeds success and confidence. It's like martial arts. A blackbelt has an easier time walking away from a fight than someone without experience because thee black-belt's confidence comes from knowing he would destroy the other guy. He has nothing to prove. Same goes for success in dating. The more success you have, the less you care about naysayers.
 

biggoal

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There are a few problems with why guys don't approach that much, but the biggest one I noticed is:
  • Everyone in the surrounding is against you. Other guys, other girls, the employees, the cops, the bartenders, and the bouncers. So if a guy fails, he gets seen as a negative to everyone and it embarrasses him super hard. And others will warn of said guy and see him as a failure or creeper even who is desperate for *****. It doesn't help that girls will make fun of guys who hit on them. You have no idea how shameless women are in bragging about the guys who hit on her and how bad they are, painting the guy as a loser. It has gotten worse these days cause girls now have so many options that they are out here looking mostly for attention. Imagine going to a strip club, but now the girls are like that everywhere with the look do not touch attitude. So guys in their head think they only got one shot and they don't want to waste it to ruin the mood or vibe.
I remember in college like 10 years ago we were sitting in class (was a small class) and before class the door was open and this girl was walking into class and i guess this guy liked her cause he was chatting and said she looks lovely today. The whole class chuckled and thought it was funny. It was just a normal young man, not creepy or anything. The girl wasnt creeped, seemed to know him already.

But just thought to myself why laugh at a guy for flirting with another classmate. He's showing normal, natural human behavior showing interest in a potential partner.
 

Ladykiler

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What happens if you live in a major city? They expect a man to have $$ and will see that as cheap. That cheap stuff wont work in chicago, la or nyc
the United States has 400 plus million people

you only accounting 55 to 60 million

you don’t know any of these people btw

you’re just assuming

with that said I agree with you
 
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