I really dont think looks matter

[IamtheAlphamale]

I don't think looks matter.

In high-school there was this guy Vito. He was super short and just the ugliest guy ever with messed up ears and stuff. Anyways he literally got bjs from over 100 girls at my school.

I'm 5'7 now at 39. Literally about 2 years ago I was about 295 pounds and I work at a factory and lots of hot girls were into me even super hot 18 year olds. I also have crazy bad posture.

I started approaching recently. The biggest difference for me was when I started listing all the positive qualities I have in my head and reframing the negative things to highlight the silver lining. This made me think I was way better looking. I have lost a bunch of weight. But once I did this one trick I started getting tons of hot girls staring at me. I wear a mask btw most of the time when I'm walking around.

I'm not saying I'm amazing with women. Im actually just starting to date again and rusty as hell. Im just saying I'm not in shape 235 and have really bad posture and short and wear a mask. And I just wear jeans and a hoodie.

But my body language is amazing and I have confidence and am crazy calm from thousands of hours of meditation and I think that's the only reason girls like me.

I'm not bragging. Tons of you are way better with women than me. I also live with my parents and the girls at work know all this.

Why do you guys think looks matter so much? In my mind I'm a 10 and I think that's what they like I think.

Explain

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Why do you guys think looks matter so much? In my mind I'm a 10 and I think that's what they like I think.

Because that's what men look for in women, and they believe women think the same way they do.

I can speak from experience as a good looking dude, looks absolutely can help, especially with initial attraction, but are ultimately extremely limiting and you cannot rely on them on their own, unless you're a legit 10 greek God (but even then, if you're socially retarded it won't matter).

I had a number of extremely painful experiences when I was younger - women can start out obsessively attracted to you, but if you don't have the game or confidence to back it up, their interest will dissipate to the point of actual contempt.

 

[IamtheAlphamale]

Because that's what men look for in women, and they believe women think the same way they do.

I can speak from experience as a good looking dude, looks absolutely can help, especially with initial attraction, but they're ultimately extremely limiting and you cannot rely on them on their own, unless you're a legit 10 greek God (but even then, if you're socially retarded it won't matter).

Agree 100 percent.

 

[zekko]

I'm not saying I'm amazing with women.

If you were 295 pounds and had "lots of hot girls" into you, then you are amazing with women.

Looks are funny things, they're hard to quantify. People can be objectively not very attractive, yet there still might be something sexy about them. Especially for men, if a guy's looks can be seen as an extension of his personality, that might be appealing to some women.

 

[Atom Smasher]

If you make a woman feel in a positive way, her brain will literally adjust what she sees physically snd she will think you’re way more attractive than you actually are.
Women do not rate us the way we rate them. I was hung up on looks for most of my life until I learned that this was an entirely unnecessary worry.

 

[IamtheAlphamale]

If you were 295 pounds and had "lots of hot girls" into you, then you are amazing with women.

Looks are funny things, they're hard to quantify. People can be objectively not very attractive, yet there still might be something sexy about them. Especially for men, if a guy's looks can be seen as an extension of his personality, that might be appealing to some women.

Yeah I just mean at work really. We get lots of students in the summer. I actually had crazy amounts of latex gloves in my pockets too so I looked extra fat.

Thanks for saying I'm amazing with women in that scenario. Nice of you

 

[Hamurabimbi]

There is an exponential difference between the amount of female attention Good looking vs. Average looking men get. Good Looking men don’t need Game. In fact, if one is GL, one can just wander around and live life & women will come. The dopamine high of strong female interest is something that Average guys probably don’t get to experience.

This literally happens in real life, not just TV:

With that being said, there is no denying that an Average guy with solid game, who puts in the time, and has his life together, will do fine with women.
Ultimately, the end result is the same : Attractive & Average looking men both get women.

 

[behimo]

from my experience women can feel your inner calm which is something they lack because they are more emotionally driven and as emotionally perceptive beings can sense.

that inner calm may be that you are in a familiar environment or because you're doing something you've done many times a la experience and confidence.

that is what they are attracted to and notice.

this is the pull and you take them for a ride.

 

[Tilex]

You must be kidding yourself if you think looks don't matter to women.

Wanna try an experiment to see the evidence?
Go online and make a dating profile without any pictures and find out how many women respond to you.
or
Dress like the homeless for a day and see how many people pay attention to you.

Back in the early 2000's you had plenty of opportunity to be charming through text with AOL or just your voice with Quest Personals.
But times have changed and those methods are completely obsolete now.

 

[Who Dares Win]

Looking forward to read any time soon that "looks is a social construct"...

 

[Mike32ct]

OP, at nearly 300# before (and still north of 200# now), it’s probably the physical dominance factor that works for you.

I would say that looks matter, a LOT, but there are certain wildcards that can also work. Physical dominance associated with height or muscles or weight can be one of them.

 

[Scars]

Everyone has some wild story about knowing a guy who is butt fugly and does well with women.. and it becomes "concrete evidence that looks don't matter".

Stop kidding yourselves.

 

[Hal9000]

There's definitely a correlation between how attractive you are and how many women will give you a chance. Having said that, if you are a wuss, mommas boy, manic depressive, or just flat out terrible with women, those looks won't be enough.

 

[Barrister]

Everyone has some wild story about knowing a guy who is butt fugly and does well with women.. and it becomes "concrete evidence that looks don't matter".

Stop kidding yourselves.

I agree that I think these tend to be more isolated cases, but the point is that they DO exist. Making a blanket statement that "looks don't matter" is probably the opposite extreme of the black pill guys - of course they matter. As with most things, the truth is somewhere between. But I certainly appreciate someone saying "looks don't matter" more than I do "looks are everything to women." The former is at least a confident man who is helping himself with a good attitude - vs. the latter which is the complete opposite.

 

[Scars]

The former is at least a confident man who is helping himself with a good attitude - vs. the latter which is the complete opposite.

I find this subjective. You can take the whole "looks matter to women" philosophy and use it to blame your circumstances, or you can use it as motivation to better yourself. One of the easiest things a man can do other than basic hygiene and new wardrobe is go to the gym. You can gain a solid point, sometimes even 2 points on a 1/10 rating scale by just having a nice body. It's all about what you do with the information.

I think trying to "shield" or protect men from the idea that looks don't matter is detrimental to their growth, because they're going to find it out eventually. Better to rip that band-aid off now.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Bank account matters

 

[Barrister]

I find this subjective. You can take the whole "looks matter to women" philosophy and use it to blame your circumstances, or you can use it as motivation to better yourself. One of the easiest things a man can do other than basic hygiene and new wardrobe is go to the gym. You can gain a solid point, sometimes even 2 points on a 1/10 rating scale by just having a nice body. It's all about what you do with the information.

I think trying to "shield" or protect men from the idea that looks don't matter is detrimental to their growth, because they're going to find it out eventually. Better to rip that band-aid off now.

I think most reasonable men would agree that looks DO matter to women. However, we have a contingent of SS posters who will tell each other and new posters that if a man is too short, bald, plain face, etc. that they are doomed from getting laid at all. This is obviously an extreme and is not reality. My original point was simply I will take a guy with the OP's mindset over a black pill mindset any day of the week.

 

[Scars]

I think most reasonable men would agree that looks DO matter to women. However, we have a contingent of SS posters who will tell each other and new posters that if a man is too short, bald, plain face, etc. that they are doomed from getting laid at all. This is obviously an extreme and is not reality. My original point was simply I will take a guy with the OP's mindset over a black pill mindset any day of the week.

Fair enough.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Here’s what really matters regarding looks: Weight.
Weight matters a lot. Excess weight is a direct reflection on your self discipline and self respect. Mediocre looks are far less of a detriment than most think. Women’s perceptions are malleable. If you know how to make her feel, she will reconstruct your face into something she loves. Your perceived faults will become lovable quirks and idiosyncrasies.

 

[Grounded eagle]

We’ve been here many times before.They matter but they’re not the end all be all for men.It’s like saying game doesn’t matter,or money doesn’t matter,or social skills don’t matter.They all do.They’re all parts of a whole.