This is 80% of your "competition" on OLD

[RickTheToad]

When the toad was dating, I had a few want to reschedule or ghost; everyone has. However, the way this dude reacted was unreal. TBH, the few who cancelled, I'd say many reached back out to reschedule. Problem was, I have a one strike rule. Unless there's a valid reason, I never responded. They are spoiled for choice. Some dudes are so lonely (sexually), they do stupid things. They need to knock one out, experience post nut clarity, and proceed from there. Once you ejaculate, your mind is at ease.

 

[Robert28]

Same...people who get so worked up over flakes are losing out on a lot of lays of they just play it cool and circle back at a later time.

But on the flip side if you have an abundance mentality then you’ve already got dates lined up to replace the flake. So when she circles back around, too late, you’re already with other women. To jump at the chance to go out with her after she flakes sounds like you had nothing else to do, no other women to see. The only reason to even consider giving a flake a second chance is if she’s head and shoulders prettier than other options you have.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

But on the flip side if you have an abundance mentality then you’ve already got dates lined up to replace the flake. So when she circles back around, too late, you’re already with other women. To jump at the chance to go out with her after she flakes sounds like you had nothing else to do, no other women to see. The only reason to even consider giving a flake a second chance is if she’s head and shoulders prettier than other options you have.

There is no jumping, I simply bide my time and date other women. When she comes around, I'll date her too.

Women usually don't even know what they want and even when they do rarely does it serve them any purpose.

 

[EyeBRollin]

When the toad was dating, I had a few want to reschedule or ghost; everyone has. However, the way this dude reacted was unreal. TBH, the few who cancelled, I'd say many reached back out to reschedule. Problem was, I have a one strike rule. Unless there's a valid reason, I never responded. They are spoiled for choice.

But on the flip side if you have an abundance mentality then you’ve already got dates lined up to replace the flake. So when she circles back around, too late, you’re already with other women. To jump at the chance to go out with her after she flakes sounds like you had nothing else to do, no other women to see. The only reason to even consider giving a flake a second chance is if she’s head and shoulders prettier than other options you have.

I do not disagree with the “one flake” rule I just apply it to after I’ve physically met the girl in person. Flaking on a first encounter from a dating app should not be taken personally at all. It is not based in value judgement; you are still just some picture on the internet.

 

[derby1]

So she cancels a date for no real reason and acts surprised when the guy flips out? Then she screenshots it to publicly humiliate him?

What the guy did was wrong, but it's not like his reaction was unwarranted.

I wouldnt mind reading this kind of stuff, if it meant women flocked to guys who knew how to compose themselves, but it doesnt make that much difference.

they mess everyone around.

if you are smooth/cool, she will just presume your a player.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

So she cancels a date for no real reason and acts surprised when the guy flips out? Then she screenshots it to publicly humiliate him?

What the guy did was wrong, but it's not like his reaction was unwarranted.

I usually agree with you on most things but not on this one. We all know women flake date plans all the time, for no reason at all or mostly made up excuses.

Men using OLD, and in general, should know this and sadly expect it as part of the "numbers game". This guy's reaction is completely unjustified and truth be told creepy, needy, desperate, and unhealthy. So yes, unless I misunderstood your point his reaction was unwarranted.

Now should she have put him on blast publicly like that? No. But this is the age we live in, it was his fault for not being in control of his emotions and putting himself in that position.


Modern Man Advice

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I wouldnt mind reading this kind of stuff, if it meant women flocked to guys who knew how to compose themselves, but it doesnt make that much difference.

they mess everyone around.

if you are smooth/cool, she will just presume your a player.

Which is exactly what you want them to think. Regardless of if they say they like it or not. Women WANT guys who other women desire.

 

[derby1]

Which is exactly what you want them to think. Regardless of if they say they like it or not. Women WANT guys who other women desire.

I have mixed results with that biological/RP view.

I have experienced a lot of women bailing as well over the thought of a male with abundance or a life.

 

[Robert28]

I have mixed results with that biological/RP view.

I have experienced a lot of women bailing as well over the thought of a male with abundance or a life.

I’ve had it backfire on me too. When I met women online, if I admitted I was talking to more than one or seeing multiple women they’d bail. But the funny thing is THEY were talking to several guys and going on multiple dates, it was just bad when I did it. I was labeled as “playing games, not serious, a player”.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I’ve had it backfire on me too. When I met women online, if I admitted I was talking to more than one or seeing multiple women they’d bail. But the funny thing is THEY were talking to several guys and going on multiple dates, it was just bad when I did it. I was labeled as “playing games, not serious, a player”.

It's all in the way you present it to them. Tact and diplomacy go a long way.

Them: "How many other women are you dating/seeing/talking with?"

Me: "Somewhere between 0 and 100" with a smirky smile and a twinkle in my eye

Most guys: "I'm talking to 5 others right now"

No...you failed to understand there is no need to give them an actual answer. In fact, if you do you are likely not giving them what they actually want which is to have to sit there and wonder about it. And the more they have to sit there and wonder about things about you(to a degree), the more they have to think about you and the more they start realizing they must really like you if they are doing that.

Ever hear the expression "It's not what you said, it's how you said it"? Perfect example of why the actual message you deliver is only 7% of any communication.

Too many guys don't seem to understand this and go for the caveman approach to communication and bludgeon them over the head with the message, then turn around and say it doesn't work, when in reality it's just the way they did it didn't work and if they approached it from a different perspective or angle they would have been fine.

 

[derby1]

if I admitted I was talking to more than one or seeing multiple women they’d bail. But the funny thing is THEY were talking to several guys and going on multiple dates, it was just bad when I did it.

its really strange how they figure that one, out.

ive got a few women i know shared meme's this week shaming men as players. Yet i know for a fact the one girl has been on about 3 different dates in 10 days.

IS it solipsism and lack of self awareness?

 

[sangheilios]

@BackInTheGame78

This is obviously a more extreme case but behavior on this spectrum, albeit on the more minor side, is not all that uncommon and something I've heard of from both sides, though more with men. This is the biggest reason why I'm personally very uncomfortable with the concept of OLD/apps because you really don't know who you are talking to and at the end of the day these are total strangers on the other end. When you interact in person you can generally get a pretty good idea as to what you are going to be getting.

With this case I can already see one specific issue, which was them texting back and forth for days prior to their arranged meeting. I feel the problem with something like this is you develop some odd fantasy about the person you are speaking with and when you finally do meetup it of course does not live up to it. This man developed an obsessed fantasy about a woman he hasn't even met yet and when she flakes on the date it sets him off. He's probably experienced this before, maybe even had a same type of outburst, and it triggered him. With that aside, a lot of women do in fact lead men on for a variety of reasons on dating apps and sites. Many are often just bored; others may just want some validation or who knows what.

 

[RickTheToad]

I wouldnt mind reading this kind of stuff, if it meant women flocked to guys who knew how to compose themselves, but it doesnt make that much difference.

they mess everyone around.

if you are smooth/cool, she will just presume your a player.

PSA -

 

[biggoal]

@BackInTheGame78

This is obviously a more extreme case but behavior on this spectrum, albeit on the more minor side, is not all that uncommon and something I've heard of from both sides, though more with men. This is the biggest reason why I'm personally very uncomfortable with the concept of OLD/apps because you really don't know who you are talking to and at the end of the day these are total strangers on the other end. When you interact in person you can generally get a pretty good idea as to what you are going to be getting.

With this case I can already see one specific issue, which was them texting back and forth for days prior to their arranged meeting. I feel the problem with something like this is you develop some odd fantasy about the person you are speaking with and when you finally do meetup it of course does not live up to it. This man developed an obsessed fantasy about a woman he hasn't even met yet and when she flakes on the date it sets him off. He's probably experienced this before, maybe even had a same type of outburst, and it triggered him. With that aside, a lot of women do in fact lead men on for a variety of reasons on dating apps and sites. Many are often just bored; others may just want some validation or who knows what.

But most women if you dont text them enough from old they simply move on and ghost because some other simp is hitting them up.

Had one old girl go off on me and block me because it was 12am and i had to work early in the morning and told her i had to go to bed and she got pissed. Never even met her and was already acting that way.

 

[MatureDJ]

So she cancels a date for no real reason and acts surprised when the guy flips out? Then she screenshots it to publicly humiliate him?

What the guy did was wrong, but it's not like his reaction was unwarranted.

I think the 20-year-old version of myself would have flipped out similarly. I now fully accept that women only rent men in their life until their Sexual Market Value declines. Because of this, I will only sex women bareback so that I get the family-tree continuation going; I know that the chances of having an Ozzie & Harriet life are minuscule.

 

[MatureDJ]

I'm pretty neutral on this subject, the guy is obviously unhinged but at the end of the day she isn't exactly innocent. If she wasn't interested in meeting the guy, why did she bother leading him on?

You can only Push these incels so far until some of them start fighting back.

The video author seems Braddish, but also seems to have a weak chin? What do you all think?

 

[Zimbabwe]

I usually agree with you on most things but not on this one. We all know women flake date plans all the time, for no reason at all or mostly made up excuses.

Men using OLD, and in general, should know this and sadly expect it as part of the "numbers game". This guy's reaction is completely unjustified and truth be told creepy, needy, desperate, and unhealthy. So yes, unless I misunderstood your point his reaction was unwarranted.

Now should she have put him on blast publicly like that? No. But this is the age we live in, it was his fault for not being in control of his emotions and putting himself in that position.


Modern Man Advice

Most Men do not have the game or options we do, outside our bubble the majority of men are clueless.

I admit when i first started out i was shocked when woman would flake on a date last minute and I too would flip out. Admittedly i never went anywhere near as far as that guy (he belongs in an asylum) but I don't see how her posting this to publicly shame him helps anyone.

 

[MatureDJ]

It's all in the way you present it to them. Tact and diplomacy go a long way.

Them: "How many other women are you dating/seeing/talking with?"

Me: "Somewhere between 0 and 100" with a smirky smile and a twinkle in my eye

Me:

I don't bother with keeping track of it.

 

[MatureDJ]

Most Men do not have the game or options we do, outside our bubble the majority of men are clueless.

I admit when i first started out i was shocked when woman would flake on a date last minute and I too would flip out. Admittedly i never went anywhere near as far as that guy (he belongs in an asylum) but I don't see how her posting this to publicly shame him helps anyone.

I once made the mistake of continuing on seeing a chick that would flake on just about every other meeting. She looked like a young version of a crazy aunt of mine, so I probably gave her too much slack - but at some point I just ghosted, and she didn't try to unghost me. I should say that after the first time she flaked on me, I ghosted, and she called back a week later. And no, I didn't get my manhood wet with her.

 

[sangheilios]

Most Men do not have the game or options we do, outside our bubble the majority of men are clueless.

I admit when i first started out i was shocked when woman would flake on a date last minute and I too would flip out. Admittedly i never went anywhere near as far as that guy (he belongs in an asylum) but I don't see how her posting this to publicly shame him helps anyone.

That's part of the problem with all of this, the lack of options. Imagine being a decent and otherwise normal and functional individual but your only avenue to meet the opposite sex, whether you are a man or woman, is through old sites and apps. In the case of a man, imagine being totally average, which is made up of countless millions of individuals, and having little to no success with this. Imagine getting a handful of matches or responses, thoughts like "this may be the one" will begin to circle in your mind because of your lack of options. Now let's factor in experiencing a lot of time just messaging with nothing come it, or maybe last minute flakes or just getting a single date and then nothing......that is eventually going to have an effect on you, especially if you have no means of venting about your frustrations.

There are tons of people out there with no one to confide in when it comes to their personal issues that they face, which is not good for mental health. I guarantee you this guy is most likely not that bad of a person, he simply just was at a tipping point and this woman's behavior triggered him and set him off. It's really not difficult to see why and how stuff like this happens and I'm sure it's not all that uncommon, especially since COVID hit 2 years ago. I actually feel bad for a lot of men who otherwise don't know any better and have honestly no clue what to do.