Valentine's Day: Am I the *******?

[King Lion]

Yeah, I kinda expected this response.

Well if something else terrible happens and I walk away I'm sure I'll revisit this post so you guys can have an "I told you so moment".

She did what I wanted, it just wasn't as one-sided as I would've wanted it to be. So I'm cautiously optimistic; either there's another crash and burn and I can walk away without wondering "what if", or she makes the changes she said she would and we're able to move forward and have a healthy relationship. Either way, I'll have my outcome without wasting much more of my time.

Further point, as I mentioned before, she is Type A Manic Depressive Bipolar...she is NOT Type B...and her brother who lives with her along with friends and family have confirmed how her ex treated her. Just wanted to flesh that out a bit.

She loves and respects you for understanding her and being real with her - Don't change, man - Keep your integrity intact.

Together you two can soar!

 

[King Lion]

I appreciate that, I guess I'll see.

I'm not oblivious to what I'm getting myself into, but if it doesn't work out I'll have learned something from the experience and can walk away feeling like I gave it my all.

Well thought out and stated.

'The Noblest Thing A MAN Can Do - Is To Do The BEST That He Can.'

 

[BPH]

She has found a real man that is a PRIZE in you now, and she knows it....Be well.

Well I wanted to follow up on this, but I'll quote you directly to show you how this unfolded.

The weekend I made my stand and the weekend after were amazing, even Friday night with her was fantastic. She told me that she was so angry with me but was also so turned on by how I shut her down and told her no, she told me she's never been so attracted to me before.

But none of that matters because of what just happened last night which will probably be the nail in the coffin for me.

Late last night one of my girlfriend's friends invited herself over at around 3AM. I don't like this friend because she's been nice to my face but when I'm not around she tries to push my girlfriend to date another guy in her friend group because she thinks I'm a bum. She knows I don't like her, so she appreciated when I came downstairs into the kitchen with them both and held my tongue and played nice.

We're all drinking, they're talking back and forth, my girlfriend is teasing me throughout; kissing me, straddling me on my stool and grinding on me, fingering her through her spanx, and at one point she even lifted her shirt away from her friend so I could suck on her breasts (but she denies that last bit happened at all despite having a Ring camera set up in her kitchen)...

Anyway, she's turning me on and can see my imprint through my sweatpants and goes "ooh what's that", so I tell her I she dropped something and get her to bend over, with our backs to her friend so she couldn't see even if she was looking (which she wasn't) and flashed my d***. She rises up and says that wasn't cute and that it was disrespectful. But she's sarcastic a lot and we were teasing so I thought she was joking, but then she comes over to me and slaps me in the face. She sits back across the island and says "do you understand?" and I still think she's joking but I'm not sure yet, so I go "you just laid your hands on me" to which she doubles down and states "yeah cus you did some disrespectful stuff like that in front of my friend".

So she goes upstairs, the friend isn't sure what happened so she asks if I'm going to check on her, I tell her no, so she goes upstairs. I hear my girl rant for a bit then come back down still angry and now I'm angry, so I tell her "that is one thing we aren't going to do in this relationship". She gets in my face and starts having a yelling match with me, and I'm kinda enraged but I'm not putting my hands on her, I'm trying to move past her and get upstairs to grab my stuff and leave. She starts bumping me, blocking me, yelling in my face while I yell in hers all the way to her room where my stuff is. I grab it and tell her "f*** this, I'm not going to be with somebody who's comfortable putting their hands on me", and how I'll leave and grab myself a hotel for the night until I sober up but I want to leave. She blocks the door so I can't leave without being physical with her or causing damage to the door because she wants me to calm down and have a conversation with her.

I let her say her peace, she says I can go if I want to, so I take about a half hour and go for a walk. I come back and she's waiting on the stairs and wants to talk, I tell her I just want to go to bed. She comes into the room once or twice more trying to talk, but she interrupts me and talks over me so we don't get far. I apologize if what I did was disrespectful, that I thought we were teasing and having fun, and didn't realize I went too far. She apologized for hitting me, but is later still upset because SHE feels that I feel like MY "wrong" was worse than HER "wrong". So she doesn't feel comfortable sharing the bed with me, and I sleep in the guest room. I figure we'll both sleep, maybe have a more sober talk in the morning.

I wake up at 1PM so her and the friend from last night in the kitchen arguing about something else. I go downstairs and sit at the same spot and don't say a thing. The friend during their argument looks over to me to kinda be on somebody's side to which I simply respond "do you like honesty?" I think my girl knew what was about to say so she cut me off, told her friend to leave, and got real hype and yelling at me about "oh you were all loud last night let's be loud, you want to get in my face I'll get in your face" etc. So I don't even try, I sip my coffee, then start packing my bags to leave and head out. She stops me a few times and tries to have a conversation...

Once as I'm leaving, again when I'm walking down the driveway, and again when I'm actually in my car. I humor her and tell her that regardless of the situation, we will not lay hands on each other, and that I needed her to promise me that'll never happen again and that she will do SOMETHING before she feels the need to explode. I tell her she has a 0 and a 100, but she has no 50, no midway, and that there has to be something between perfectly fine and slapping me in the face.

She keeps bringing it back to that she never thought she would be able to do that to me, but that she never thought I would do anything so disrespectful. She goes from "hitting" to "lightly slapped" to "tapped" to "touched you in the face" to "didn't aggressively assault you". That bothered me, but she feels that I'm twisting the situation to make her the bad guy when she feels that I did something so disrespectful that her response was warranted...

Anyway I drove home, which is where I'm typing this now, it's almost 5PM at the time of this writing. She called me a few times during the drive and I called her back when I got home essentially saying "look, I need you to promise me that if I do something you find disrespectful and I don't realize it, there's going to be a 50 before the 100". She stick to that she didn't hit me hard, and that I hit her harder during sex, and that she just touched my face to get my attention, etc. I was willing to accept what happened as a one-off, but she seems unwilling to accept the full responsibility of the fact that she laid hands on me based on the fact that she didn't cold-**** me aggressively...

So I hung up on her and now I'm here. I don't see this getting better unless she like really comes around and apologizes but I don't see this happening. She thinks she submitted to "my bullsh**" for the whole Valentine's Day thing, and that she's not going to do that now.

Yeah, fun stuff. Just wanted to provide that update.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Well I wanted to follow up on this, but I'll quote you directly to show you how this unfolded.

The weekend I made my stand and the weekend after were amazing, even Friday night with her was fantastic. She told me that she was so angry with me but was also so turned on by how I shut her down and told her no, she told me she's never been so attracted to me before.

But none of that matters because of what just happened last night which will probably be the nail in the coffin for me.

Late last night one of my girlfriend's friends invited herself over at around 3AM. I don't like this friend because she's been nice to my face but when I'm not around she tries to push my girlfriend to date another guy in her friend group because she thinks I'm a bum. She knows I don't like her, so she appreciated when I came downstairs into the kitchen with them both and held my tongue and played nice.

We're all drinking, they're talking back and forth, my girlfriend is teasing me throughout; kissing me, straddling me on my stool and grinding on me, fingering her through her spanx, and at one point she even lifted her shirt away from her friend so I could suck on her breasts (but she denies that last bit happened at all despite having a Ring camera set up in her kitchen)...

Anyway, she's turning me on and can see my imprint through my sweatpants and goes "ooh what's that", so I tell her I she dropped something and get her to bend over, with our backs to her friend so she couldn't see even if she was looking (which she wasn't) and flashed my d***. She rises up and says that wasn't cute and that it was disrespectful. But she's sarcastic a lot and we were teasing so I thought she was joking, but then she comes over to me and slaps me in the face. She sits back across the island and says "do you understand?" and I still think she's joking but I'm not sure yet, so I go "you just laid your hands on me" to which she doubles down and states "yeah cus you did some disrespectful stuff like that in front of my friend".

So she goes upstairs, the friend isn't sure what happened so she asks if I'm going to check on her, I tell her no, so she goes upstairs. I hear my girl rant for a bit then come back down still angry and now I'm angry, so I tell her "that is one thing we aren't going to do in this relationship". She gets in my face and starts having a yelling match with me, and I'm kinda enraged but I'm not putting my hands on her, I'm trying to move past her and get upstairs to grab my stuff and leave. She starts bumping me, blocking me, yelling in my face while I yell in hers all the way to her room where my stuff is. I grab it and tell her "f*** this, I'm not going to be with somebody who's comfortable putting their hands on me", and how I'll leave and grab myself a hotel for the night until I sober up but I want to leave. She blocks the door so I can't leave without being physical with her or causing damage to the door because she wants me to calm down and have a conversation with her.

I let her say her peace, she says I can go if I want to, so I take about a half hour and go for a walk. I come back and she's waiting on the stairs and wants to talk, I tell her I just want to go to bed. She comes into the room once or twice more trying to talk, but she interrupts me and talks over me so we don't get far. I apologize if what I did was disrespectful, that I thought we were teasing and having fun, and didn't realize I went too far. She apologized for hitting me, but is later still upset because SHE feels that I feel like MY "wrong" was worse than HER "wrong". So she doesn't feel comfortable sharing the bed with me, and I sleep in the guest room. I figure we'll both sleep, maybe have a more sober talk in the morning.

I wake up at 1PM so her and the friend from last night in the kitchen arguing about something else. I go downstairs and sit at the same spot and don't say a thing. The friend during their argument looks over to me to kinda be on somebody's side to which I simply respond "do you like honesty?" I think my girl knew what was about to say so she cut me off, told her friend to leave, and got real hype and yelling at me about "oh you were all loud last night let's be loud, you want to get in my face I'll get in your face" etc. So I don't even try, I sip my coffee, then start packing my bags to leave and head out. She stops me a few times and tries to have a conversation...

Once as I'm leaving, again when I'm walking down the driveway, and again when I'm actually in my car. I humor her and tell her that regardless of the situation, we will not lay hands on each other, and that I needed her to promise me that'll never happen again and that she will do SOMETHING before she feels the need to explode. I tell her she has a 0 and a 100, but she has no 50, no midway, and that there has to be something between perfectly fine and slapping me in the face.

She keeps bringing it back to that she never thought she would be able to do that to me, but that she never thought I would do anything so disrespectful. She goes from "hitting" to "lightly slapped" to "tapped" to "touched you in the face" to "didn't aggressively assault you". That bothered me, but she feels that I'm twisting the situation to make her the bad guy when she feels that I did something so disrespectful that her response was warranted...

Anyway I drove home, which is where I'm typing this now, it's almost 5PM at the time of this writing. She called me a few times during the drive and I called her back when I got home essentially saying "look, I need you to promise me that if I do something you find disrespectful and I don't realize it, there's going to be a 50 before the 100". She stick to that she didn't hit me hard, and that I hit her harder during sex, and that she just touched my face to get my attention, etc. I was willing to accept what happened as a one-off, but she seems unwilling to accept the full responsibility of the fact that she laid hands on me based on the fact that she didn't cold-**** me aggressively...

So I hung up on her and now I'm here. I don't see this getting better unless she like really comes around and apologizes but I don't see this happening. She thinks she submitted to "my bullsh**" for the whole Valentine's Day thing, and that she's not going to do that now.

Yeah, fun stuff. Just wanted to provide that update.

You are crazy if you stay with this woman. That is NOT what a healthy relationship looks like.

 

[RobbyDog]

Dude, this sounds just like the dynamics of my marriage. She’s projecting her unacceptable behaviour onto you…she acts like that yet you’re the disrespectful/crazy/unloving one according to her. Get out. It will be hard to do but you’ll be better off for it in the end. Don’t let her hotness /wealth cloud your judgement. I married, had kids with, and divorced a woman who sounds like this (now we’re in family court HELL). Nobody, male or female, should EVER tolerate physical abuse in a relationship. The fact that she’s trying to minimize the incident is even more telling. I suggest you spend your weekends working on yourself and improving your own life instead of wasting time with someone like this. You DESERVE better.

 

[King Lion]

Well I wanted to follow up on this, but I'll quote you directly to show you how this unfolded.

The weekend I made my stand and the weekend after were amazing, even Friday night with her was fantastic. She told me that she was so angry with me but was also so turned on by how I shut her down and told her no, she told me she's never been so attracted to me before.

But none of that matters because of what just happened last night which will probably be the nail in the coffin for me.

Late last night one of my girlfriend's friends invited herself over at around 3AM. I don't like this friend because she's been nice to my face but when I'm not around she tries to push my girlfriend to date another guy in her friend group because she thinks I'm a bum. She knows I don't like her, so she appreciated when I came downstairs into the kitchen with them both and held my tongue and played nice.

We're all drinking, they're talking back and forth, my girlfriend is teasing me throughout; kissing me, straddling me on my stool and grinding on me, fingering her through her spanx, and at one point she even lifted her shirt away from her friend so I could suck on her breasts (but she denies that last bit happened at all despite having a Ring camera set up in her kitchen)...

Anyway, she's turning me on and can see my imprint through my sweatpants and goes "ooh what's that", so I tell her I she dropped something and get her to bend over, with our backs to her friend so she couldn't see even if she was looking (which she wasn't) and flashed my d***. She rises up and says that wasn't cute and that it was disrespectful. But she's sarcastic a lot and we were teasing so I thought she was joking, but then she comes over to me and slaps me in the face. She sits back across the island and says "do you understand?" and I still think she's joking but I'm not sure yet, so I go "you just laid your hands on me" to which she doubles down and states "yeah cus you did some disrespectful stuff like that in front of my friend".

So she goes upstairs, the friend isn't sure what happened so she asks if I'm going to check on her, I tell her no, so she goes upstairs. I hear my girl rant for a bit then come back down still angry and now I'm angry, so I tell her "that is one thing we aren't going to do in this relationship". She gets in my face and starts having a yelling match with me, and I'm kinda enraged but I'm not putting my hands on her, I'm trying to move past her and get upstairs to grab my stuff and leave. She starts bumping me, blocking me, yelling in my face while I yell in hers all the way to her room where my stuff is. I grab it and tell her "f*** this, I'm not going to be with somebody who's comfortable putting their hands on me", and how I'll leave and grab myself a hotel for the night until I sober up but I want to leave. She blocks the door so I can't leave without being physical with her or causing damage to the door because she wants me to calm down and have a conversation with her.

I let her say her peace, she says I can go if I want to, so I take about a half hour and go for a walk. I come back and she's waiting on the stairs and wants to talk, I tell her I just want to go to bed. She comes into the room once or twice more trying to talk, but she interrupts me and talks over me so we don't get far. I apologize if what I did was disrespectful, that I thought we were teasing and having fun, and didn't realize I went too far. She apologized for hitting me, but is later still upset because SHE feels that I feel like MY "wrong" was worse than HER "wrong". So she doesn't feel comfortable sharing the bed with me, and I sleep in the guest room. I figure we'll both sleep, maybe have a more sober talk in the morning.

I wake up at 1PM so her and the friend from last night in the kitchen arguing about something else. I go downstairs and sit at the same spot and don't say a thing. The friend during their argument looks over to me to kinda be on somebody's side to which I simply respond "do you like honesty?" I think my girl knew what was about to say so she cut me off, told her friend to leave, and got real hype and yelling at me about "oh you were all loud last night let's be loud, you want to get in my face I'll get in your face" etc. So I don't even try, I sip my coffee, then start packing my bags to leave and head out. She stops me a few times and tries to have a conversation...

Once as I'm leaving, again when I'm walking down the driveway, and again when I'm actually in my car. I humor her and tell her that regardless of the situation, we will not lay hands on each other, and that I needed her to promise me that'll never happen again and that she will do SOMETHING before she feels the need to explode. I tell her she has a 0 and a 100, but she has no 50, no midway, and that there has to be something between perfectly fine and slapping me in the face.

She keeps bringing it back to that she never thought she would be able to do that to me, but that she never thought I would do anything so disrespectful. She goes from "hitting" to "lightly slapped" to "tapped" to "touched you in the face" to "didn't aggressively assault you". That bothered me, but she feels that I'm twisting the situation to make her the bad guy when she feels that I did something so disrespectful that her response was warranted...

Anyway I drove home, which is where I'm typing this now, it's almost 5PM at the time of this writing. She called me a few times during the drive and I called her back when I got home essentially saying "look, I need you to promise me that if I do something you find disrespectful and I don't realize it, there's going to be a 50 before the 100". She stick to that she didn't hit me hard, and that I hit her harder during sex, and that she just touched my face to get my attention, etc. I was willing to accept what happened as a one-off, but she seems unwilling to accept the full responsibility of the fact that she laid hands on me based on the fact that she didn't cold-**** me aggressively...

So I hung up on her and now I'm here. I don't see this getting better unless she like really comes around and apologizes but I don't see this happening. She thinks she submitted to "my bullsh**" for the whole Valentine's Day thing, and that she's not going to do that now.

Yeah, fun stuff. Just wanted to provide that update.

NEVER apologize to a B*TCH that acts like a rotten CVNT!

Remember how your post started: She said she got 'turned on' by your masculine energy and resolve - So don't change!

Her friend showing up was likely instigated by her because all females have their peculiar kinks and feeling masculine energy is one of their greatest kinks.

She probably bragged about it and you to all her friends. That then made them envious of her, and desirous of you, and just like Cinderella's evil step-sisters; they probably laughed out of jealousy in derision at her and trash-talked you!

So now - she is trying you & sh*t testing you!

Why? For signs of strength or weakness and congruency or incongruency of your resolve.

Don't sweat it, man.

If she thought you were "cold" before...lol...NOW, you must make her realise that she only saw the 'tip' of the iceberg before!

Time for talk is DONE!

No contact is the best move going forward.

Chances are she'll be back to try & test you again with all sorts of manipulative bullsh*t - IGNORE HER.

Let her meditate on her fvckery and feel the loss of you and her mind, while at the same time knowing she blew it with the one guy that gave her the 'best orgasm of her life' - The stupid, ungrateful, wretched, evil, wicked, mean and nasty cvnt!

She should be, and likely will, be kissing your azz from now on, but just like every petulant little child or person, she'll fall back into her peevish behavior - If/when she does - CHARGE HER - HARDER than the slap she gave you!

Having already humiliated you in front of her friend and b*tching until you 'apologised'...{smh}...She is not to be trusted at all. Not with your masculinity, and especially not with your sanity.

Sadly for you, she is a drunken mess that's only happy dragging you down with her mind-fvcking tricks and insanity.

Forget her and take comfort in knowing she will never be able to forget you!

To handle or keep a b*tch like her {that is if you really want to} you've got to be tough and have self-control, so TELL her and do not ask her to do what you want.

They must then comply, or you say 'Bye B*tch'!

The Rest Is Up To You

 

[BPH]

NEVER apologize to a B*TCH that acts like a rotten CVNT!

Remember how your post started: She said she got 'turned on' by your masculine energy and resolve - So don't change!

Her friend showing up was likely instigated by her because all females have their peculiar kinks and feeling masculine energy is one of their greatest kinks.

She probably bragged about it and you to all her friends. That then made them envious of her, and desirous of you, and just like Cinderella's evil step-sisters; they probably laughed out of jealousy in derision at her and trash-talked you!

So now - she is trying you & sh*t testing you!

Why? For signs of strength or weakness and congruency or incongruency of your resolve.

Don't sweat it, man.

If she thought you were "cold" before...lol...NOW, you must make her realise that she only saw the 'tip' of the iceberg before!

Time for talk is DONE!

No contact is the best move going forward.

Chances are she'll be back to try & test you again with all sorts of manipulative bullsh*t - IGNORE HER.

Let her meditate on her fvckery and feel the loss of you and her mind, while at the same time knowing she blew it with the one guy that gave her the 'best orgasm of her life' - The stupid, ungrateful, wretched, evil, wicked, mean and nasty cvnt!

She should be, and likely will, be kissing your azz from now on, but just like every petulant little child or person, she'll fall back into her peevish behavior - If/when she does - CHARGE HER - HARDER than the slap she gave you!

Having already humiliated you in front of her friend and b*tching until you 'apologised'...{smh}...She is not to be trusted at all. Not with your masculinity, and especially not with your sanity.

Sadly for you, she is a drunken mess that's only happy dragging you down with her mind-fvcking tricks and insanity.

Forget her and take comfort in knowing she will never be able to forget you!

To handle or keep a b*tch like her {that is if you really want to} you've got to be tough and have self-control, so TELL her and do not ask her to do what you want.

They must then comply, or you say 'Bye B*tch'!

The Rest Is Up To You

I appreciate your help man, truly.

I haven't gone no-contact with her yet because I don't think I really care. Part of me is looking for something redeeming, wondering what I would need from her in order for us to be "good", but I don't know if such a thing exists.

Things like the amazing unprotected regular sex (she's got an IUD don't worry I'm not getting her pregnant), how sweet and generous and thoughtful she can be when she's good (like I said the 80/20 thing), the promises of getting me a high-paying job with her firm, teaching me about the stock market so I can become financially independent and fix the one aspect of my life that I'm unhappy with...I think to myself, what is this worth?

Is it worth my self-respect? Is it worth, as you say "being tough and having self-control to keep a b**** like her"?

Probably not, I've probably been stupid letting it get this far and trying to fix a damaged woman because of how perfect things were the first few months. I hadn't been in love in years, and I probably wasn't as in love with my most recent ex as she was with me...so really I haven't been in love since I left college, and that was about 7 years ago now. So I think I was excited because I was very pessimistic about love and usually just went out on weekends, met some chick at a bar and would have somewhat regular casual sex with multiple women.

But then I think about how the situation unfolded; she slapped me in the face for something I don't see as a big deal, especially considering the context that she was also participating. She doesn't calm down afterwards and proceeds to double down and get in my face to start a whole yelling match while I try to leave the house. One fight we had around Christmas she kicked me out of her house and when I wanted to talk her down, she wouldn't listen, but when SHE wants to talk during this fight she blocks the door so I can't leave without physically removing her. She has me sleep in the guest room because she doesn't feel like my apology is on par with hers due to the fact that she thinks that what I did was worse and isn't convinced that I feel the same way. Then in the morning she comes out swinging AGAIN after I thought we would be able to have a calmer conversation. Then to top it off, she diminishes her involvement from a "slap" to "tapped your face to get your attention" to "lightly touched you" while making it seem like I'm trying to twist the situation and manipulate it to where she's the bad guy.

And to top it off, while I'm writing this she Snapchatted me something .This morning after a little bit last night where she reverted to trying to appeal to humor and sexuality she goes "And I'm off to start the day", where I responded "I'm still thinking". And she responds with "about what? How you're toxic and ruined our relationship? Cool. I'm glad your pride was worth it".

If I had any empathy I think it's gone there.

She was planning to go to Miami with some of her friends and gym crew on Wednesday until Sunday. She was wanting me to fly down late Thursday or Friday after work to join her. Knowing her, and based on what she's told me about her history, one of the two guys she would've been with if it hadn't worked out for me 2 weekends ago is probably going to be there in Miami with her. If I end things, she'll probably f*** him, or her old f*** buddy, or her ex, I don't know. Then she would probably wait a few months before hitting me up and trying to convince me to continue seeing her as a friend with benefits, as she's done in the past. She calls this "recycling", because she doesn't want her body count to get too high before she meets her husband - wants to proudly be able to say it's in the single digits...

I've thought about this too, what I would do in this situation. I like to think I would turn her down and not be thrown in with the rest of her toys. But is that an ego or pride thing getting in the way of easy sex? I'm not sure yet.

Anyway, I'm kind of just thinking out loud at this point. I don't really know what I'll end up doing if I'm being honest. At this point I'm more leaning towards cutting her off vs giving her a chance like I did 2 weeks ago, but I don't know. I want to think there's something redeeming worth salvaging but I've probably already dealt with too much bull**** for there to be a healthy outcome.

Just my thoughts.

 

[BPH]

My God, dude. Sex?? You can get sex any time you want it. This woman slapped you in the face. She'd already done it figuratively and now she's done it literally. I'd rather be celibate for a year than fukk a bytch like her.

This isn't about ego at all. It's about mental and spiritual self-preservation. Get out before she sucks your soul.

I'm not trying to justify her behavior by any means but I'm just curious, if you had a woman that can promise you wealth and financial success, does that factor in at all? Not being her boy toy that she can pay for like a sugar momma, but if she can put you in a position to make you money and bring you up does that have any bearing on what you're willing to do/deal with?

Just a personal opinion question.

 

[Dr.Suave]

if you had a woman that can promise you wealth and financial success, does that factor in at all?

No

 

[King Lion]

Ignore her even if she tries to get in touch with you!

Let her stew in her own filth until she comes correct with a heartfelt apology and acknowledgement of her nonsense.

She knows she's a nasty cvnt - So tell her!

It doesn't matter what you're hoping for in the relationsh*t with her at this point - That b*tch is POISON and I don't think you're built for dealing with that type of trifling witch.

You seem like a decent guy and should know your worth, so know also that, she, her psychotic behavior, her manipulative mind-fvcking tendencies, and her snatch are not worth you or your time!

Think about it: If you really feel she may fvck some other guys this weekend - Do you really want to give your time and good energy to such a bad callous uncaring person?

It's a paradox of life and love that Mother Teresa spoke about: "That if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love."

So curse that low down dirty b*tch - like you should really want to - and you'll feel better. But more than that, she should be left feeling like absolute sh*t if you curse her and rip her apart the right way.

She should be too ashamed and too distraught to even think about getting with any other guy, or even tell her friends how you sussed her out and then kicked her out of your life!

Done right - The only way she should ever be able to feel better about herself and you is to have and show genuine remorse and respect to you.

Don't sell-out - Bust out!

https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=poison+bell+biv+devoe

Poison:
Yeah spot a man of freedom for a fact aah-aah uh-hum
Poison you ready Ron I'm ready
You ready Dave I'm ready Slick are you
Oh yeah break it down
Girl I must warn you
I sense something strange in my mind
Yeah yo situation is serious
Let's cure it 'cause we're running out of time
Mm mm tell 'em Rick it's all so beautiful
Relationships they seem from the start
Yeah mm mm it's all so deadly
When love is not together from the heart
Mm mm check it out
It's driving me out of my mind
That's why it's hard for me to find
Can't get it outta my head
Miss her, kiss her, love her, wrong move you're dead
That girl is poison
Never trust a big butt and smile
That girl is poison poison
If I were you I'd take precaution
Before I start to leave fly girl
You know 'cause in some portions
You'll think she's the best thing in the world
She's so fly, she'll drive you right out of your mind
Steal your heart when you're blind
Beware she's schemin', she'll make you think you're dreamin'
You'll fall in love and you'll be screamin' dreamin'
Poison deadly moving it slow
Looking for a mellow fellow like DeVoe
Getting paid laid so better lay low
Schemin' on hots my end the pro show
The low pro hot should be cut like an afro
See what you're sayin' huh
She's weighin' but I know she's a loser

How do you know?

Me and the crew used to do her.
Poison (x20)

 

[MatureDJ]

Just got off a FaceTime with my girlfriend a little while ago, and it's kinda bothering me, so I thought I'd share here and get some opinions...

Been seeing my girlfriend for 6 months. She's much better off financially so I drive an hour up to her each weekend to spend that time with her since I live at home with my parents currently.

So yesterday was Valentine's Day, and I knew I wouldn't be around during the week to spend the holiday with her, so I tried to make the weekend a little extra special; I brought her out to dinner at the restaurant where we had our first real date, I bought her a stuffed animal to go with her little collection I'd been winning her, I set up a warm candlelit bath in the dark with a bath bomb, and I scheduled Starbucks to deliver her her favorite coffee and breakfast on Valentine's Day itself since I gave her flowers for Christmas and figured she could actually use this.

Anyway, we had a great weekend, no issues there. The problem seems to have arisen yesterday...

I posted her on my Instagram for the holiday, sent her a really long sappy text about how I loved her, and went about my day; work, workout, etc. Then I see her getting a really sexy outfit together to go out with her friends and their SOs for the holiday. I didn't think anything of it, thought I was being a good boyfriend by not being overbearing and just told her I'd be relaxing at home and that she can drunk text/Snapchat me whenever.

Don't hear from her the rest of the night.

Today's pretty normal, we're Snapchatting, texting, all that good stuff. Apparently last night she got tired of being the only one their without her man so she went home early and just went to sleep. All throughout the day she's being a little sarcastic about how I'm an ******* for not spending the most important couple's holiday with her. I don't think anything of it, because I'm used to her being a sarcastic little brat sometimes...but it keeps coming up.

She calls me on FaceTime a little bit ago and tells me about her workouts, her day, etc, and she's still being sarcastic so I stop her and ask how much this is actually bothering her. She admits that it just felt lame being without me on the holiday, and she got drunk and by the time she got home she wasn't in the mood to drunkenly post about me or be lovey-dovey. She understands that I'm at a distance, but it bothered her that I was so chill with sitting at home without her on Valentine's day and she just felt like it was a bit of a **** move...mentioned how maybe I should've just not come during the weekend so I could spend the holiday with her. She assures me it's not an issue, it just bothered her because she wasn't used to it, then we got off FaceTime and went back to doing what we were doing.

Now this kinda bothers me...I think I've only had a girl to celebrate Valentine's Day with twice, this being the second time, because I don't really do relationships. And I felt like I put in quite a bit of effort - especially considering the fact that outside of a sappy Valentine's Day text in the morning, she didn't do ANYTHING different for ME to celebrate the holiday. So now I'm sitting here a little pissed off because I feel like all the effort I put in to making this weekend extra special are minimized by the fact that I wasn't with her for the day itself.

I don't know...I just wanna make sure I'M not the ******* here. I talked to one of my friends about this and they said that it's totally reasonable for me to be annoyed since I'd probably have been out late and would've had to drive back late at night or early in the morning for work the next day.

Anyway, leave me your opinions, if any. Thanks. Just had to vent a bit.

my advice:

START SPINNING PLATES

 

[BPH]

Ignore her even if she tries to get in touch with you!

Let her stew in her own filth until she comes correct with a heartfelt apology and acknowledgement of her nonsense.

She knows she's a nasty cvnt - So tell her!

It doesn't matter what you're hoping for in the relationsh*t with her at this point - That b*tch is POISON and I don't think you're built for dealing with that type of trifling witch.

You seem like a decent guy and should know your worth, so know also that, she, her psychotic behavior, her manipulative mind-fvcking tendencies, and her snatch are not worth you or your time!

Think about it: If you really feel she may fvck some other guys this weekend - Do you really want to give your time and good energy to such a bad callous uncaring person?

It's a paradox of life and love that Mother Teresa spoke about: "That if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love."

So curse that low down dirty b*tch - like you should really want to - and you'll feel better. But more than that, she should be left feeling like absolute sh*t if you curse her and rip her apart the right way.

She should be too ashamed and too distraught to even think about getting with any other guy, or even tell her friends how you sussed her out and then kicked her out of your life!

Done right - The only way she should ever be able to feel better about herself and you is to have and show genuine remorse and respect to you.

Don't sell-out - Bust out!

If I'm being honest with myself, and you all as a whole, my current plan is to drive up to her and break up tomorrow or Wednesday before she goes on her vacation.

I thought about how everything panned out a lot today, and I think what bothers me beyond the fact that she struck me is everything she did afterwards in response; continuing to be angry with me after administering her "punishment", physically blocking me from leaving her house, making me out as the villain to her friends and family with partial audio clips, downplaying what she did based on how hard she hit me, telling me I'm the toxic one ruining this relationship via Snapchat, etc...

I don't see a silver lining or something redeeming at this point, and I think I realize that because like I said before, I don't care this time.

She didn't have the decency to break up with me in person - she did it over text those few short weeks ago. I have an idea of what I want to say, and she might try to interrupt me, yell over me, not let me say it, appeal to my sense of lust for her, etc...but at least I'll have tried to give her closure and have closure for myself, which is something I haven't had the luxury of receiving in most of my dealings with women.

I'd probably check in to make sure she's home after I'm done my workout, tell her I'll be there in an hour, notify some friends and family where I am in case anything goes sour, and record the conversation in its entirety with my own phone audio.

Plenty of you will probably disagree with this approach, but right now unless something changes my mind it seems like the most sensible and mature thing I can do for myself and for her, despite the fact that she wouldn't afford me the same level of respect and decency.

 

[Konada]

Imagine a dude steps into the MMA ring and gets beaten to a pulp and spit on... He then begs the other fighter "look man, I don't wanna fight you, can we talk this out like REAL MEN??"

That's how absurd your mindset is right now.

 

[BPH]

Imagine a dude steps into the MMA ring and gets beaten to a pulp and spit on... He then begs the other fighter "look man, I don't wanna fight you, can we talk this out like REAL MEN??"

That's how absurd your mindset is right now.

This isn't me wanting to talk it out. This is me having maturity to make this decision to her face - no ambiguity, no childish games, no ghosting.

 

[Konada]

This isn't me wanting to talk it out. This is me having maturity to make this decision to her face - no ambiguity, no childish games, no ghosting.

I don't know what maturity you are talking about here, I don't even know if you are doing this for yourself or her lol. Note how many times have you mentioned breaking up "maturely" for her in your previous post.

This should be about you and you alone. If you really had any self-respect, you would have nipped this in the bud a long time ago. Drop her a call, say that we're done because she is a toxic piece of **** and block her on all platforms. That's all the closure you need.

Something tells me the problem is more than just her being a toxic piece of ****. Your lack of self-respect will follow you into every relationship you go into.

 

[BPH]

I don't know what maturity you are talking about here, I don't even know if you are doing this for yourself or her lol. Note how many times have you mentioned breaking up "maturely" for her in your previous post.

This should be about you and you alone. If you really had any self-respect, you would have nipped this in the bud a long time ago. Drop her a call, say that we're done because she is a toxic piece of **** and block her on all platforms. That's all the closure you need.

Something tells me the problem is more than just her being a toxic piece of ****. Your lack of self-respect will follow you into every relationship you go into.

I disagree. I don't think I have to be a piece of s*** because she's a piece of s***. You're welcome to your opinion and I appreciate you sharing it, but I don't see myself going with that approach.

 

[BPH]

You are playing with fire by putting yourself in her presence. But go ahead and show her how "mature" you are and get your "closure." Who knows, maybe this time instead of hitting you she'll call the cops and tell them you hit her.

Respecting yourself and cutting out toxicity is not being a "piece of s***." Your problem is you think she still deserves or even wants your idea of nobility. But hey, do what you feel you must...it's gotten great results so far.

Jesus Christ why is this such a bad idea? If you were going to get broken up with wouldn't you rather see the person, have the opportunity to talk to the person, instead of a phone call or a text message?

I'm younger than most of you on here but has that died somewhere along the line here?

 

[King Lion]

If I'm being honest with myself, and you all as a whole, my current plan is to drive up to her and break up tomorrow or Wednesday before she goes on her vacation.

I thought about how everything panned out a lot today, and I think what bothers me beyond the fact that she struck me is everything she did afterwards in response; continuing to be angry with me after administering her "punishment", physically blocking me from leaving her house, making me out as the villain to her friends and family with partial audio clips, downplaying what she did based on how hard she hit me, telling me I'm the toxic one ruining this relationship via Snapchat, etc...

I don't see a silver lining or something redeeming at this point, and I think I realize that because like I said before, I don't care this time.

She didn't have the decency to break up with me in person - she did it over text those few short weeks ago. I have an idea of what I want to say, and she might try to interrupt me, yell over me, not let me say it, appeal to my sense of lust for her, etc...but at least I'll have tried to give her closure and have closure for myself, which is something I haven't had the luxury of receiving in most of my dealings with women.

I'd probably check in to make sure she's home after I'm done my workout, tell her I'll be there in an hour, notify some friends and family where I am in case anything goes sour, and record the conversation in its entirety with my own phone audio.

Plenty of you will probably disagree with this approach, but right now unless something changes my mind it seems like the most sensible and mature thing I can do for myself and for her, despite the fact that she wouldn't afford me the same level of respect and decency.

If you really "don't care" then do not call her and just ignore her.

No one pities the snake charmer when he gets bitten by the snake!

Do as I said if/when she calls you - No discussion - Just a verbal beatdown that leaves her drowning in her own tears!

 

[Dr.Suave]

If you were going to get broken up with wouldn't you rather see the person, have the opportunity to talk to the person, instead of a phone call or a text message?

No

 

[dude99]

Well I wanted to follow up on this, but I'll quote you directly to show you how this unfolded.

The weekend I made my stand and the weekend after were amazing, even Friday night with her was fantastic. She told me that she was so angry with me but was also so turned on by how I shut her down and told her no, she told me she's never been so attracted to me before.

But none of that matters because of what just happened last night which will probably be the nail in the coffin for me.

Late last night one of my girlfriend's friends invited herself over at around 3AM. I don't like this friend because she's been nice to my face but when I'm not around she tries to push my girlfriend to date another guy in her friend group because she thinks I'm a bum. She knows I don't like her, so she appreciated when I came downstairs into the kitchen with them both and held my tongue and played nice.

We're all drinking, they're talking back and forth, my girlfriend is teasing me throughout; kissing me, straddling me on my stool and grinding on me, fingering her through her spanx, and at one point she even lifted her shirt away from her friend so I could suck on her breasts (but she denies that last bit happened at all despite having a Ring camera set up in her kitchen)...

Anyway, she's turning me on and can see my imprint through my sweatpants and goes "ooh what's that", so I tell her I she dropped something and get her to bend over, with our backs to her friend so she couldn't see even if she was looking (which she wasn't) and flashed my d***. She rises up and says that wasn't cute and that it was disrespectful. But she's sarcastic a lot and we were teasing so I thought she was joking, but then she comes over to me and slaps me in the face. She sits back across the island and says "do you understand?" and I still think she's joking but I'm not sure yet, so I go "you just laid your hands on me" to which she doubles down and states "yeah cus you did some disrespectful stuff like that in front of my friend".

So she goes upstairs, the friend isn't sure what happened so she asks if I'm going to check on her, I tell her no, so she goes upstairs. I hear my girl rant for a bit then come back down still angry and now I'm angry, so I tell her "that is one thing we aren't going to do in this relationship". She gets in my face and starts having a yelling match with me, and I'm kinda enraged but I'm not putting my hands on her, I'm trying to move past her and get upstairs to grab my stuff and leave. She starts bumping me, blocking me, yelling in my face while I yell in hers all the way to her room where my stuff is. I grab it and tell her "f*** this, I'm not going to be with somebody who's comfortable putting their hands on me", and how I'll leave and grab myself a hotel for the night until I sober up but I want to leave. She blocks the door so I can't leave without being physical with her or causing damage to the door because she wants me to calm down and have a conversation with her.

I let her say her peace, she says I can go if I want to, so I take about a half hour and go for a walk. I come back and she's waiting on the stairs and wants to talk, I tell her I just want to go to bed. She comes into the room once or twice more trying to talk, but she interrupts me and talks over me so we don't get far. I apologize if what I did was disrespectful, that I thought we were teasing and having fun, and didn't realize I went too far. She apologized for hitting me, but is later still upset because SHE feels that I feel like MY "wrong" was worse than HER "wrong". So she doesn't feel comfortable sharing the bed with me, and I sleep in the guest room. I figure we'll both sleep, maybe have a more sober talk in the morning.

I wake up at 1PM so her and the friend from last night in the kitchen arguing about something else. I go downstairs and sit at the same spot and don't say a thing. The friend during their argument looks over to me to kinda be on somebody's side to which I simply respond "do you like honesty?" I think my girl knew what was about to say so she cut me off, told her friend to leave, and got real hype and yelling at me about "oh you were all loud last night let's be loud, you want to get in my face I'll get in your face" etc. So I don't even try, I sip my coffee, then start packing my bags to leave and head out. She stops me a few times and tries to have a conversation...

Once as I'm leaving, again when I'm walking down the driveway, and again when I'm actually in my car. I humor her and tell her that regardless of the situation, we will not lay hands on each other, and that I needed her to promise me that'll never happen again and that she will do SOMETHING before she feels the need to explode. I tell her she has a 0 and a 100, but she has no 50, no midway, and that there has to be something between perfectly fine and slapping me in the face.

She keeps bringing it back to that she never thought she would be able to do that to me, but that she never thought I would do anything so disrespectful. She goes from "hitting" to "lightly slapped" to "tapped" to "touched you in the face" to "didn't aggressively assault you". That bothered me, but she feels that I'm twisting the situation to make her the bad guy when she feels that I did something so disrespectful that her response was warranted...

Anyway I drove home, which is where I'm typing this now, it's almost 5PM at the time of this writing. She called me a few times during the drive and I called her back when I got home essentially saying "look, I need you to promise me that if I do something you find disrespectful and I don't realize it, there's going to be a 50 before the 100". She stick to that she didn't hit me hard, and that I hit her harder during sex, and that she just touched my face to get my attention, etc. I was willing to accept what happened as a one-off, but she seems unwilling to accept the full responsibility of the fact that she laid hands on me based on the fact that she didn't cold-**** me aggressively...

So I hung up on her and now I'm here. I don't see this getting better unless she like really comes around and apologizes but I don't see this happening. She thinks she submitted to "my bullsh**" for the whole Valentine's Day thing, and that she's not going to do that now.

Yeah, fun stuff. Just wanted to provide that update.

Just walk away.

This is bipolar. She will go from 0 to 100 as you stated with nothing inbetween over and over and over.

She hit you. She blamed you, then downplayed her actions then refuses to take responsibility for her actions after blaming you for her actions. You are in an abusive relationship with an abuser. If the shoe was on the other foot she would have the cops all over you.

Just walk away. Any cluster b type personality is an immediate nope.