Harder to find interest in talking to women?

[user252009]

As I’ve gone on several first coffee dates these past few weeks, I’ve noticed something. After the initial chitchat and the introductions etc are done, I find little reasons/desire to want to talk to these women/hang out with them again (unless they’re super hot). Is it a thing of getting older (36 atm)? It’s pretty hard to find someone that would share my interests, and as a result, I just seem less interested in them (except, again, if they’re super hot). As a result, I think they sense that and they don’t initiate texts from their side either.

 

[Genetic Error]

I feel the same but the answer is simple. None of them are interesting. and their brains and dopamine fried from extreme amount of options and are used to a guy jestermaxxing and simping and trying extremely hard to create convo so they havent developed an actual personality

 

[SW15]

Coffee dates are a bad format, especially when set up via a swipe app. Several coffee dates in a short time seems to indicate use of a swipe app.

@user252009 -- You probably need to meet women differently and also different types of women (the mainly super hot ones).

 

[derby1]

As I’ve gone on several first coffee dates these past few weeks, I’ve noticed something. After the initial chitchat and the introductions etc are done, I find little reasons/desire to want to talk to these women/hang out with them again (unless they’re super hot). Is it a thing of getting older (36 atm)? It’s pretty hard to find someone that would share my interests, and as a result, I just seem less interested in them (except, again, if they’re super hot). As a result, I think they sense that and they don’t initiate texts from their side either.

Character is built from being forged on the fire. Western women have about 1000 social constructs telling them how great they are for existing & they get irresponsibility funded. This is something you will have to accept.

I noticed the last 10 women I got out (bare in mind thats a land mine in itself) would fail a simple quiz about me or my daughter 3 dates in, I would know war and peace about them.

I have adapted to this now, and I'm learning to qualify hard, so it destroys their ego and deems you higher value. Suddenly you will see her chase your validation and develop a slight personality for 3 hours, till you validate her again.

Her: (drinking)
Me: Do you enjoy drinking with friends?
Her : Occassionally......(knowing shes got alcoholism like the rest)
Me: Its good socialising I'm a big believer in it. Isolating certainly isnt helping people in recent times.
Her: oh yes goes on to mould to my beliefs blah blah blah
Me: I think its when drinking starts to enter the week problems starts, its much more attractive if people have passions and hobbies, tell me your passions & hobbies
Her : then proceeds to qualify and rationalise that shes not got alcoholism & suddenly has interests.

you see the last statement checkmates her, because no woman wants to be known as an alcoholic, it strikes fear to the pits of their heart. And 1 of 2 things will happen, she will leave you or stick around either scenario now suits you.

 

[corrector]

That is because you are not chad tier.

 

[Smok1nAce]

I'm turning 31 and the only women I have interest in talking to nowadays are younger fit women. Natures a mothafuka.

When I was younger I used to hear men say women there age and older women become invisible and used to never understand what they where talking about.

 

[Mike32ct]

There are plenty of people that you won’t “click” with, irrespective of looks.

Younger people have less of an issue with this because they tend to drink more. It’s easy to “click” with someone when you are both drunk.

We tend this drink less as we get older, so we need more of a natural connection, or it doesn’t work.

 

[Dr.Suave]

I get it op. Most girls are not good ltr/wife material. So if you are just in for the lay it can get tiresome just going through the motions without any real connection.

My advice is dont focus that much on the girls and go on dates you would actually enjoy. This helps you be more outcome inddiferent.

For me it was going to restaurants I was actually craving or going to a movie I actually wanted to see. Some will say "Owww but going to restaurants and movies before sex is a bad idea. Its boring, expensive, awkward, Interviewy, no chance to escalate, Im a loser, etc.".

The point is it dosent have to be restaurant or movie, but there should be stuff you enjoy. At the very least let them tag along to places you had to go anyway.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

I’m a huge schmoozer. So I find it fun to talk to people. Lucky, since it’s part of my job.

 

[Barrister]

As I’ve gone on several first coffee dates these past few weeks, I’ve noticed something. After the initial chitchat and the introductions etc are done, I find little reasons/desire to want to talk to these women/hang out with them again (unless they’re super hot). Is it a thing of getting older (36 atm)? It’s pretty hard to find someone that would share my interests, and as a result, I just seem less interested in them (except, again, if they’re super hot). As a result, I think they sense that and they don’t initiate texts from their side either.

First, a coffee date is a tough first date IMO. I know some guys have success with them, but I think they feel like a job interview. They are usually day dates with almost no sexual energy. Hence why drink dates are a much better option for Date 1. On Date 1, you shouldn't be concerning yourself about finding some lifelong partner anyway - you just want to have fun.

Also, while the whole "you need to settle down with someone who shares your interests" thing sounds great in theory, in practice how often does this really happen? Most women (not all), are not going to be into the same thing as men are -- sports, hunting, cars, etc. So expecting to find a woman out there who is as big a gun enthusiast as you (for example) is not realistic. You are basically going to screen out 95% of the dating pool if this the standard you use.

You should enjoy women for their feminine energy they bring. If you aren't enjoying it, then maybe you just aren't in a spot right now where you should be dating.

 

[biggoal]

First, a coffee date is a tough first date IMO. I know some guys have success with them, but I think they feel like a job interview. They are usually day dates with almost no sexual energy. Hence why drink dates are a much better option for Date 1. On Date 1, you shouldn't be concerning yourself about finding some lifelong partner anyway - you just want to have fun.

Also, while the whole "you need to settle down with someone who shares your interests" thing sounds great in theory, in practice how often does this really happen? Most women (not all), are not going to be into the same thing as men are -- sports, hunting, cars, etc. So expecting to find a woman out there who is as big a gun enthusiast as you (for example) is not realistic. You are basically going to screen out 95% of the dating pool if this the standard you use.

You should enjoy women for their feminine energy they bring. If you aren't enjoying it, then maybe you just aren't in a spot right now where you should be dating.

Coffee date not a bad idea if from old. Cheap and quick. Dinner old dates are bad and waste of money cause usually no second date. Thats been covered many times on here.

 

[Barrister]

Coffee date not a bad idea if from old. Cheap and quick. Dinner old dates are bad and waste of money cause usually no second date. Thats been covered many times on here.

Yeah - I said a drinks date. Not dinner. Re-read my post and tell me where I said anything about dinner. Your response to my post is one of your typical non-sequiturs.

 

[HaleyBaron]

As I’ve gone on several first coffee dates these past few weeks, I’ve noticed something. After the initial chitchat and the introductions etc are done, I find little reasons/desire to want to talk to these women/hang out with them again (unless they’re super hot). Is it a thing of getting older (36 atm)? It’s pretty hard to find someone that would share my interests, and as a result, I just seem less interested in them (except, again, if they’re super hot). As a result, I think they sense that and they don’t initiate texts from their side either.

Why do you want to hold conversations with women? That's what your male friends are for. The woman is there to fulfill you sexually. There is nothing else a woman does for you other than being a compliment to your life. I don't know why you guys keep going after women wanting them to be as mature as you. They aren't. Women can never reach a man's level of intellect and understanding. The more mature you think they are, the more rude they actually are. Cause the only thing women can do is emulate a man's maturity state, which to her is "cold, callous, and logical." They can do the first two, but never the third.

Also I do not want women to act like men. Even dominant gay men don't want their partners acting like men.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

My dinner dates have often resulted in first date bangs. So I’m leery of any hard rules. Ideally an evening drink seems best.