Cold Approach - Never Realized How Hard This Would Be

[SW15]

However, in the U.S. people commute by car, and so the chances of finding girls walking around alone are lower than Europe/Asia. I live in the U.S. and I think daygame/game in general is particularly challenging for this reason. Having said that, I approach girls in groups of two often.

With the huge amount of daygame approaches I have done over the years, and many failures and learnings, I've discovered that it's best to approach girls who are alone. You need a girl who's wandering around a mall, art gallery, book store alone. If she's outside, walking around on her own, then the likelihood that she's a bit vulnerable and needs a guy in her life increases quite a lot. Girls are a lot easier if they have a big void you can fill.

In car-centered United States metro areas, street game is going to be nearly impossible. However, most areas have parks, walking paths, or hiking paths, all of which are places where you are able to do approaches.

I only approach women outdoors or inside of non-bar venues who are already isolated. If I wanted to approach women in groups, I could go to a bar. To me, naturally occurring isolation is one of the major advantages of day game.

 

[DonJuanjr]

@SW15

Can you give some example of some bf destroyer lines you've used that were successful?

 

[SW15]

Can you give some example of some bf destroyer lines you've used that were successful?

Zero successes using boyfriend destroyer lines to the IHAB excuse. I haven't gotten IHAB'ed too much since learning about boyfriend destroyer lines. I've been IHAB'ed maybe 3-4 times since I learned of them 5+ years ago.

I won't accept IHAB as an excuse without pushing back.

 

[DonJuanjr]

Zero successes using boyfriend destroyer lines to the IHAB excuse. I haven't gotten IHAB'ed too much since learning about boyfriend destroyer lines. I've been IHAB'ed maybe 3-4 times since I learned of them 5+ years ago.

I won't accept IHAB as an excuse without pushing back.

Yeah I think the bf destroyer lines are bs. I tried them a couple times and fell flat. I think if a chick is interested, she won't mention the bf.

 

[SW15]

Yeah I think the bf destroyer lines are bs. I tried them a couple times and fell flat. I think if a chick is interested, she won't mention the bf.

Yes, if she is interested, she won't mention the bf. Also, if she's not interested, I find that women are coming up with better excuses now than the IHAB line.

 

[DonJuanjr]

Yes, if she is interested, she won't mention the bf. Also, if she's not interested, I find that women are coming up with better excuses now than the IHAB line.

I wonder if that's geographical. In my experience, 90% is "IHAB". Maybe the girls are either all taken, or just lazy in their excuses in my area.

 

[corrector]

Also, my photos have rated on photo-feeler 8.5, my fashion is fine, I'm a normal dude with a good job, well-groomed, yadda yadda. All the basics of what should lead me to success are covered. Just in case you were wondering.

Where do you find the time to approach 2000 women if you have a good job?

 

[momentomori]

Where do you find the time to approach 2000 women if you have a good job?

My job offers work-life balance and pays well. Hence a "good" job.

 

[eli77]

You can't just approach women, you have to look good and approach women.....

Make sure you are dressed well, haircut, smell good, shoes ect......

Have a lil more swagger(the way you carry yourself) more confidence.

Your definitely doing something wrong but I would have to see you in action to really help.

If your not all that handsome/attractive then aim lower until you get more confident and comfortable with your approaches......

Cold Approaching is bread and butter, but it's not for the weak. Your success rate is a reflection of your SMV, Simple.

You gotta look good and carry yourself good, either you got it or you don't and will need to improve to have it.

Whenever me and my boys wanna get laid that's what we always did, go out and approach women but we do it like it's something we do all the time, we approach women as if we assume she's going to like us, confidence, gotta have that swagger, especially if your not "eye catching"

Don't give up, just work on yourself and find what works for you......good luck

been saying that for years

 

[eli77]

If you were a salesman who's job was to sell running shoes, and you settled on a telemarketing strategy that involved cold-calling random numbers in the phone book, chances are that you would sell very few (if any) pairs. From that, you might conclude that most people are simply not interested in running shoes. Of course, your conclusion would be 100% wrong, as just about everyone owns a pair of running shoes. However, there is a good reason why no one sells running shoes through telemarketing.

damn!!

 

[SW15]

Most men are beta males. Most beta males could never handle 2,000 consecutive rejections. Most beta males would be so traumatized after about 200-300 consecutive rejections on whatever approaches they were doing that they would quit.

The typical beta male is using some combination of swipe apps, bar approaching at night, and/or social circle to find mates. Few betas have ever dared to do non-bar approaching. Most men, even some alphas, don't have the guts to approach women in non-bar venues without alcohol in their systems. One of my friends, a 6'4" male who was a former NCAA athlete in a country club sport, never approached during the day. He put up a solid notch count prior to playing house with a woman of debatable quality solely by spam approaching women at bars. He was only able to get away with spam approaching due to being 6'4" and having a white guy that a certain segment of yuppie cookie cutter white women found dreamy. I digress.

The men who can do social circle are probably some of the more fortunate betas. There's a decent chance that they live in the geographical area where they grew up AND had the fortune of their parents never relocating them during the K-12 years. There are other dutiful betas who will put in seasons in a co-ed sports league, take dance lessons for years and then do approaches out at dance halls at night, or mine their co-worker relationships for random introductions. The co-ed sports league path and the friends of co-worker path typically lead to more LTRs. Social circles tend to get pissed with men who change out girlfriends every 12-18 months or less.

Aaron Clarey did a podcast for a young man under 30. 6 figs. Guy swiped 20000 women. Had 10 matches. 3 agreed to dates. 1 showed up. Later ghosted. Unless at least 6 + the apps and OLD is going to be awful. Even then with the algorithm plus female entitlement, I much prefer pickup.

This shows how competitive swiping is. A 28 year old male who was not overweight and likely in the 75-80th percentile or higher of ALL income earners (regardless of age) had to swipe 20,000 to get one interaction that was a "one date, no sex, no second date" type interaction.

 

[fastlife]

Although I believe in IOIs and reading body language this point you made here is a very important one.

Just to be clear, I 100% believe in reading IOIs and body language (think it's massively important to social calibration in general and you can definitely use them to find layups). I just don't believe in using those as a prerequisite to approach. Most guys aren't able to read those accurately, those signals can be faked or suppressed, and how we interpret those signals (or whether we notice them to begin with) largely depends on our emotional state--so better to just go in and flip over that rock and see what's up.

(Couple examples I can think of that would seem counterintuitive to most guys: If I'm walking through a club and girl gives me a dirty/disgusted look, that's almost always an IOI--just a preemptive sh1t test to test my entitlement--I almost always get hugely positive receptions on those opens (newer guys would see that as, "Oh, that girl doesn't like me"). Or if I open a girl and she won't make eye contact and is giving me short responses, a lot of the time those girls are interested but nervous (again, newer guys would see that as disinterest/negative interest and bail). Or I know that if I make a girl really mad off the open, then she's invested in my opinion and probably really likes me. That type of thing--and the only way I figured those out was from just opening and staying tf in.)

You guys ever notice the girls that really turn you on make you the most nervous? That little thing in our heads is what keeps it from being smooth.
We tend to pedelstalize her imediately and getting rid of it or minimizing it takes practice.

I never had that particular problem. Even when I had a ton of AA in general and didn't know anything about game, I'd almost always step up to the plate with the girls that really did it for me. But I think the key here is to just prioritize potential upside over potential downside--my brain would always just see those girls as big potential wins, to the extent that I wouldn't care about taking an L. I also think that that mindset can be cultivated (I'm big on feeding the subconscious mind with positive imagery--went in depth on that process here back when I was a noob).

I also have a strong belief: If you feel a strong physical pull to a girl (not that you intellectually know she's hot, but more like I want that girl) then that feeling's always mutual. I don't know if it's us responding to their subcomms or them responding to ours--but have yet to have it proven wrong. And even if it's bullsh1t, which is fully possible, then that belief is still helpful--instead of being nervous in those situs I'm not nervous at all since I know that she already likes me and that it's already on.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

The last time I approached a lady was like 7 years ago, since then I'm on a LTR...so yeah....maybe I'm a little rusty

If you are happy bud you are doing it right man. Many got wrecked the past few years.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Wtf. Those number are crazy. I have never done that bad on OLD. Guess Ive been lucky

Aaron Clarey is pretty much the only guy I can bother hearing in the space. He's a bit of a curmudgeon and he spazzs out in pod. It's quite funny but he's right.

The pod was a young man telling his OLD tinder experience. Absolute rubbish. Factor in female entitlement plus the algorithm that's forcing you to pay to get mediocre outcomes is absurd at best.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

IOIs are fading. This isn't the 1990s or 2000s anymore. Millennial women have been notoriously poor at signaling. Looking for IOIs now is more a fruitless endeavor than it was in the mid-2000s but you can still get some if you look close enough. Interestingly enough, if Millennial women were better at signaling, it would cut down on the Spam approaching to some extent.

+1

Modern women are ran through, not feminine, and I'd argue that they are the most PROGRAMMED NPCs in history. The ability to free think is virtually nonexistent if at all. It's actually remarkable at how stupid and programmed modern women are. There's part of me that actually respects the sort of evil necessary to have literally mind ****ed MOST women into pissing away their lives on some nonprofit, government 'make work' and cratering SMV along with fertility as a tax mule for daddy government.

Herein lies the best argument to enjoy the decline. To sit back and watch the world burn as you PILLAGE whatever the duck you can. I do that. More recently, I think the new way forward is to get up and go. There's better cultures, lower taxes, and FEMININITY ELSEWHERE. Similar to individual sovereignty and freedom, it is nonexistent in many but NOT ALL PLACES. Similarly, globalism and modern women reside in most of the western world BUT NOT EVERYWHERE.

I'd argue chain gunning pickup to the point of spam approaching (calibrated ) is necessary to 1. Acquire competence 2. Acquire a miniscule portion worthy of the time.

Few men have a day-to-day routine that would enable enough approaching. This has gotten worse with the pandemic too as white collar men aren't showing up to office buildings anymore to hit on women in other companies in the same building. I got some approaches in and some numbers that way.

It's intentionAL. gyms closed. But get drunk. Fast foods open. Mom and pop shops and small businesses are bankrupt. The system is wrecking people and the veil has never been pulled back like ever before.

In the past few years, we've seen the little wennie dork behind the curtain. I feel bad for buddies in some of the more tyrannical countries the past few years. The imprisonment of puas in the UK, the BBC hit piece, and a number of things portray the culture in present day. As bad as it is, what I see going on elsewhere is a nightmare.

You Sir are doing it right. I will argue a country that has free speech and the ability to bare arms built into their constitution avoids the likelihood of a government dictator going full retard. Possible but less likely. Many of my American pals are cynical of the direction of the country BUT I'd argue it's the best of the western countries by a long shot.

I was known for doing 2-3 hour weekend afternoon approach sessions on walking paths, in the grocery stores, and occasionally in the malls/bookstores.

Recently or? The last bender I had was in Ibiza before the lock down. Day game and all nighter bender. Pulling but again after a ridiculous amount of volume. 50 maybe 100 approaches on a night. D won't suck itself. The sex even then isn't great. Ironically enough, modern women got kills for day and a lot still suck in bed. Lulz!

To go full circle, the outcomes is typically relative to a number of things. I always found better experience with foreign women. there's spots in London notorious for tourism and travel. with Game it's all location location location. since the pandemic a guy could piss away hours with only a few approaching. also woman can be even less responsive than usual on top of the Naturalike difficulty of pickup. After many lock downs I found women caring less than before. On a brighter note, the outcome is positive feedback for interest level. less fence sitters. More flash game. Disinterest is apparent from go.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Most men are beta males. Most beta males could never handle 2,000 consecutive rejections. Most beta males would be so traumatized after about 200-300 consecutive rejections on whatever approaches they were doing that they would quit.

It's kind of funny. I've had nights like that. For all the hate rsd Ty gets, while very strange and likely on the spectrum, he emphasized the importance of meditation. It's a great life hack. If you put into perspective that world class is 1/10, it putsome into perspective that difficulty level.

I could be in a temple or anywhere, see a girl, and I will not hesitate. Single minded focus. Could get blown out. It's water off a ducks back. Zero ****s given. Life's too ****ing boring not to try.

That part of the brain that experiences shame, embarrassment or something in the nature of giving a F is severed after enough pickup.

The typical beta male is using some combination of swipe apps, bar approaching at night, and/or social circle to find mates. Few betas have ever dared to do non-bar approaching. Most men, even some alphas, don't have the guts to approach women in non-bar venues without alcohol in their systems. One of my friends, a 6'4" male who was a former NCAA athlete in a country club sport, never approached during the day. He put up a solid notch count prior to playing house with a woman of debatable quality solely by spam approaching women at bars. He was only able to get away with spam approaching due to being 6'4" and having a white guy that a certain segment of yuppie cookie cutter white women found dreamy. I digress.

One of the best playboy's I met in Eastern Europe was a rental cop. Completely domain independent but was humping everything cute and young in a shopping center or not for a lack of effort. the odd milf too who would throw a hissy fit once catching him with young girls. The guy never made any money. Bats way out of his league. No Chad or Tyrone. He was well above average height. Can't approach in a bar or club. No day game. I met another guy who worked at a golf course. Walking had on. Salt of the earth rude or die game enthusiasts. Met another bloke from Egypt. brown dude. short. spits game. shows up to clubs for 20min. leaves with the hottest girl. natural. party boy. last I heard he's married with daughters and still out slinging D. he just doesn't throw it in her face. this dude had women flying out to see him from all over. The best game I ever saw in a natural. anything that dude touched turned to gold. lifestyle, money, women etc. Playboy could sell sand in a desert. That "IT" Factor - he has it.

The men who can do social circle are probably some of the more fortunate betas. There's a decent chance that they live in the geographical area where they grew up AND had the fortune of their parents never relocating them during the K-12 years. There are other dutiful betas who will put in seasons in a co-ed sports league, take dance lessons for years and then do approaches out at dance halls at night, or mine their co-worker relationships for random introductions. The co-ed sports league path and the friends of co-worker path typically lead to more LTRs. Social circles tend to get pissed with men who change out girlfriends every 12-18 months or less.

I moved a lot growing up. Father in business. Lots of starting and restarting. Even as a child I was groomed to the business world. I think sales is innate. You either got that it factor or you don't. That social circle of a lifetime i never knew. Social media wasn't a thing for most of that time frame. It's a blessing and a course. Domain independence is ideal. In life in general. I like Naseem Taleb anti fragile. I'm focused on this mindset and lifestyle as most of should be. Rampaging through bars and clubs 7 nights a week is a fools errand. I did that. Don't. I highly recommend focus on purpose @darksprezzatura point on leveling up. These social circles are becoming a thing of the past similar to high school sweet hearts getting married and having the white picket fence, 2.2 children and a dog. The past two years showed what &&&& who is important. Most your buddies will play house. Will **** off. Are doing their own thing. Game is attractive quality and if done right, you can develop relationships, friendships, and obviously pull.

This shows how competitive swiping is. A 28 year old male who was not overweight and likely in the 75-80th percentile or higher of ALL income arners (regardless of age) had to swipe 20,000 to get one interaction that was a "one date, no sex, no second date" type interaction.

It's highly over saturated. Competition is high. The algorithm is against us. The caliber is low (modern women, feminist, single mom, kills for days, no dhv, lack of femininity, NPCs etc). ironically enough I've had great success OLD but better from IG or fb when I had used it, and MySpace back in the day. AOL messenger once upon a time in high school or college. some good experience with apps but I always prefer IRL cold approach. those pickups are something. it's fun and one hell of a ride.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Glad to hear from other people putting in the work. Its work, and although I haven't gotten the results I would want, I do enjoy it. Just wish I got more results... Lol

It will come. In less than a decade I will be forty. I date (lulz) younger. Tighter. Fitter. Always have. I would rather the barely legal 18+ 6 or 21yr old 6.5 then a girl that's more attractive but my age or nearly. To each their own. The results are what they are. Live and learn. Calibrate after the fact. Everything is funny. The old pickup mindset was to self amusement. Freedom from outcome + intent. The bhagavad Gita had this quote from Krishna - "unattached to the fruits of your labor." The emphasis is on action and duty. That everything belongs to God. Our comes aren't our own.

The more i chased outcomes, the more i got knocked on my ass. Die to to the process. All you got is your ability to take rightfully what's yours. That being action. Shoot your shot. That's it. Let the chips fall where they may.

Learn to banter. Vibe. All the best playboy's i met were all story tellers. Learn it. Acquire the gift of gab. That million dollar mouth piece. It will add you in dating but your career and life as well.

 

[IamtheAlphamale]

I've done around 2,000 cold approaches all during the day. I don't do really do night cold-approaches as it does not fit with my lifestyle. I have had a few close encounters where I have almost gotten laid, but I still have yet to get laid from doing this. This hobby is incredibly time-consuming and for the number of approaches I've done I've gotten surprisingly few results. I would have never guessed cold-approach would be so difficult.

Most of the online dating gurus proclaiming that "if you follow my program, you can get 1 lay over every 30 approaches!" are straight-up lying. EVERY guy who I have talked to who approaches does not get laid on anything close to that frequency. Furthermore, I have tried most of the "big" techniques out there, and for the most part, no single technique produces greater results than any other technique, which are approximately no results.

Cold-approach has given me tremendous insight into women's nature, and the biggest insight I have gained is that most women are non-interested in men by default. The staggering amount of women who rejected me without even looking at me is astounding. It has nothing to do with my look, or anything else because most women will barely look at you and just reject you. Of course, there may be some cases where I'm not tall enough, not good looking enough, etc., but I actually feel that is pretty rare, given the fact women's knee-jerk reaction is to reject without even looking at you. It's almost comical at times how reactively they reject at times.

Anyway, I kind of see why dudes out there end up being a good cuck and marry a chick after she's ridden the carousel. Once they get a piece of strange they cling to it for dear life. I'm one of the .1 percent of dudes out there taking action, and I still have nothing to show for it.

Also, my photos have rated on photo-feeler 8.5, my fashion is fine, I'm a normal dude with a good job, well-groomed, yadda yadda. All the basics of what should lead me to success are covered. Just in case you were wondering.

Anyways, just thought I'd share my experience with this. If you are curious about cold-approach I definitely recommend it. If anything it's just fun to go up to a chick who you think is hot and tell her you think she's attractive, or if you want to be a cuck and be indirect you can go that route too.

If anyone else want to share their experience of daygame then feel free to.

Don't go up2 a girl and tell her she's cute.

If I'm opening at the mall I just ask 'her do you have any ideas foe a birthday present for a girl?' You will need a back story. Just put it together. Really pretty girl but you just want to be friends etc. But she got you a big basket of presents cause she's obsessed with you. Etc.

Just talk a while. 40 minutes in get her number. If you do this enough eventually you can get every girls number you approach.

Don't compliment them about their looks. If your going to compliment them just make it about something their wearing. Or I'd you must compliment on looks do the eyebrows. They put a lot of time into that.

I'm pretty rusty for approaching but my strategy would get 98 percent of hot chicks numbers.

There's also this YouTube channel called menwholikewomen. Listen to it. You'll learn text game and ****.

I'm just starting approaching again but I used to all the time back in the day. Your probably better looking than me. I wear a hoodie and jeans that are baggy as **** I'm 5'7 and 245 pounds of fat. The few approaches I've done recently I got crazy reactions from. I just forgot how to weave the conversations to keep them there. Pandemic is ****ing with my momentum.

Anyways try rules of the game by niel Strauss. That will show you the basics of using conversations.

If you want to be direct that's cool. I do indirect and then when I have them really into the conversation after about a half hour I tell them I just made up my approach and wanted to approach them. And I say 'I don't want to lie and start this out like that. I actually just made that approach up and wanted to talk to you.' They respond very well to this. Just make sure she's comfortable with you for a while b4 u do this.

 

[SW15]

I could be in a temple or anywhere, see a girl, and I will not hesitate. Single minded focus. Could get blown out. It's water off a ducks back. Zero ****s given. Life's too ****ing boring not to try.

Impressive. A lot of men would be severely traumatized by taking 100-300 straight rejections.

These social circles are becoming a thing of the past similar to high school sweet hearts getting married and having the white picket fence, 2.2 children and a dog. The past two years showed what &&&& who is important. Most your buddies will play house. Will **** off.

Yes, social circle introductions are fading. See chart

The ability to free think is virtually nonexistent if at all. It's actually remarkable at how stupid and programmed modern women are.

Agree. I am a free thinker.

 

[DonJuanjr]

The few approaches I've done recently I got crazy reactions from.

Care to elaborate?