Cold Approach - Never Realized How Hard This Would Be

[AureliusMaximus]

So the key to approach improvement is to learn to detect the signs of interest and to develop an intuition about who's likely interested and who isn't. The signs are there but they come and go like lightning. Otherwise, it's nothing more than chance and the odds are stacked against you. That is demoralizing. If you go out with the specific intent of learning to recognize subtle sign of interest, you will definitely develop the skill.

I believe that too.

Instead of being a spammer hitting up everyone; you need to be like a marketer and run a direct marketing campaign towards those leads (e.g. potential customers), that would be most likely to respond back so that in the end the you can close them.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Machine gun cold approaching is futile in this day in age 20 years ago the churn rate may have been lower but the female ego is just too swollen now

in the last 2/3 years as "me too" culture has developed ive noticed female body language become increasingly hostile

Dont get me wrong men can be creepy ive witnessed it first hand but chicks seem to be ridiculously over cautious of men in general now and they seem to want rapport built or pre qualification through a social circle as a basic requirement for interest to be established

There are a lot of bizarre dynamics at play in the modern dating / pick up environment

i try my best to ignore all the nonsense and just do my own thing as i always have done but it is undoubtedly getting harder to actually find women that are actually WORTH approaching


Ive said it before but i don't really believe women give men enough credit for the balls it takes to pull a cold approach off smoothly and make her feel comfortable in the process it is an art in itself

I my opinion if Nyou achieve this she should automatically spread for you , but in reality even if you do pull a smooth approach off there is likely going to be another 200 hurdles to navigate before you actually get her in bed

 

[zinc4]

I've done around 2,000 cold approaches all during the day. I don't do really do night cold-approaches as it does not fit with my lifestyle. I have had a few close encounters where I have almost gotten laid, but I still have yet to get laid from doing this. This hobby is incredibly time-consuming and for the number of approaches I've done I've gotten surprisingly few results. I would have never guessed cold-approach would be so difficult.

Most of the online dating gurus proclaiming that "if you follow my program, you can get 1 lay over every 30 approaches!" are straight-up lying. EVERY guy who I have talked to who approaches does not get laid on anything close to that frequency. Furthermore, I have tried most of the "big" techniques out there, and for the most part, no single technique produces greater results than any other technique, which are approximately no results.

Cold-approach has given me tremendous insight into women's nature, and the biggest insight I have gained is that most women are non-interested in men by default. The staggering amount of women who rejected me without even looking at me is astounding. It has nothing to do with my look, or anything else because most women will barely look at you and just reject you. Of course, there may be some cases where I'm not tall enough, not good looking enough, etc., but I actually feel that is pretty rare, given the fact women's knee-jerk reaction is to reject without even looking at you. It's almost comical at times how reactively they reject at times.

Anyway, I kind of see why dudes out there end up being a good cuck and marry a chick after she's ridden the carousel. Once they get a piece of strange they cling to it for dear life. I'm one of the .1 percent of dudes out there taking action, and I still have nothing to show for it.

Also, my photos have rated on photo-feeler 8.5, my fashion is fine, I'm a normal dude with a good job, well-groomed, yadda yadda. All the basics of what should lead me to success are covered. Just in case you were wondering.

Anyways, just thought I'd share my experience with this. If you are curious about cold-approach I definitely recommend it. If anything it's just fun to go up to a chick who you think is hot and tell her you think she's attractive, or if you want to be a cuck and be indirect you can go that route too.

If anyone else want to share their experience of daygame then feel free to.

Unless you are exceptionally good looking, tall or have excellent game i would not expect anything from day time public cold approach nowadays. The reason being is it's simply considered socially unacceptable now. This isn't the early 2000s and 90s anymore.

That's great that you are out there approaching but i feel like that same effort put into online dating or cold approaching in bars at night time would go X100 farther as far as actual results go. Or build up a popular Instagram or youtube / tik tock account and hit up randoms. I would probably go that route if i was younger again combined with OLD and nightlife ofcourse.

The only thing that you should have learned from this is that women are sheep and dictated 100 percent by what society and their peers tell them. They definitely still are very interested in men though. But only men that are pre qualified by their peers. You obviously haven't learned jack squat about women...no offense.

By day time cold approach you will always just be the creepy desperate stranger in their minds by default. Unless you can game large groups at once and make them all laugh and subtly compete for your attention, then i don't see this working.

Even nightlife game is quickly shifting in this direction after all of this pandemic mess.

 

[Barrister]

Unless you are exceptionally good looking, tall or have excellent game i would not expect anything from day time public cold approach nowadays. The reason being is it's simply considered socially unacceptable now. This isn't the early 2000s and 90s anymore.

That's great that you are out there approaching but i feel like that same effort put into online dating or cold approaching in bars at night time would go X100 farther as far as actual results go.

The only thing that you should have learned from this is that women are sheep and dictated 100 percent by what society and their peers tell them. They definitely still are very interested in men though. But only men that are pre qualified by their peers. You obviously haven't learned jack squat about women...no offense.

By day time cold approach you will always just be the creepy desperate stranger in their minds by default. Unless you can game large groups at once and make them all laugh and subtly compete for your attention, then i don't see this working.

Even nightlife game is quickly shifting in this direction after all of this pandemic mess.

Daytime cold approach still works and can easily be done without being considered "creepy." I am successful with it usually if I am striking up the conversations and overall just having a friendly vibe. You can pretty quickly tell whether or not you have a shot. I am guessing OP is telegraphing his intentions immediately and this is raising the alarm with the women he is approaching.

 

[zinc4]

Daytime cold approach still works and can easily be done without being considered "creepy." I am successful with it usually if I am striking up the conversations and overall just having a friendly vibe. You can pretty quickly tell whether or not you have a shot. I am guessing OP is telegraphing his intentions immediately and this is raising the alarm with the women he is approaching.

The last time i did day time approaches was about 5 years ago and i remember thinking then it had become a lot more difficult. I got a lot of numbers and great convis still but none would ever convert them to actual dates. Could also have to do with the fact that i look older now.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Even nightlife game is quickly shifting in this direction after all of this pandemic mess.

IDK in my area if you are prepared to lurk around till 3/4 am you will likely find a chick who is up for a ONS

i was with two chicks in a bar about 3 weeks ago both were pretty sloshed , i started playing them off against one another saying i couldnt decide which one was prettier, they were both getting frisky

One told me she had a husband i said my hands are cold i want you to warm them , put my hand on her thigh and said that will do

She didnt flinch so i moved closer to her pu$$y , i look at her and she just smiled

Alcohol definitely does something to a woman's sex drive completely lowers inhibitions

 

[zinc4]

IDK in my area if you are prepared to lurk around till 3/4 am you will likely find a chick who is up for a ONS

i was with two chicks in a bar about 3 weeks ago both were pretty sloshed , i started playing them off against one another saying i couldnt decide which one was prettier, they were both getting frisky

One told me she had a husband i said my hands are cold i want you to warm them , put my hand on her thigh and said that will do

She didnt flinch so i moved closer to her pu$$y , i look at her and she just smiled

Alcohol definitely does something to a woman's sex drive completely lowers inhibitions

Yep. I am hitting up a famous cougar bar here tomorrow night that also attracts plenty of 20 year old range girls who like to people watch.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Cold-approach has given me tremendous insight into women's nature, and the biggest insight I have gained is that most women are non-interested in men by default.

If you were a salesman who's job was to sell running shoes, and you settled on a telemarketing strategy that involved cold-calling random numbers in the phone book, chances are that you would sell very few (if any) pairs. From that, you might conclude that most people are simply not interested in running shoes. Of course, your conclusion would be 100% wrong, as just about everyone owns a pair of running shoes. However, there is a good reason why no one sells running shoes through telemarketing.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Aaron Clarey did a podcast for a young man under 30. 6 figs. Guy swiped 20000 women. Had 10 matches. 3 agreed to dates. 1 showed up. Later ghosted. Unless at least 6 + the apps and OLD is going to be awful. Even then with the algorithm plus female entitlement, I much prefer pickup.

Wtf. Those number are crazy. I have never done that bad on OLD. Guess Ive been lucky

 

[zinc4]

Wtf. Those number are crazy. I have never done that bad on OLD. Guess Ive been lucky

OLD depends just as much on your location as it does your pics.

 

[SW15]

Agreed that that swipe apps/social media have changed the landscape. But here’s how:

Women are actually getting approached even more now (both online and in real life). Why is this?

Male Thirst acceleration.

Dudes are so thirsty now, because of this mass approaching both online and offline. It’s accelerated female hostility, accelerated reflexive rejection, accelerating male thirst in turn. Prior to swipe apps, socialcircles were smaller, women’s prospective pool was smaller, this made women easier. This in turn made dudes less thirsty. Society was healthier overall. Dudes didn’t feel like they needed to do 2000 approaches (which I think is a mental illness inducing amount of rejection, and simultaneously fvcking up the market. No guy should be spamming like that).

All of this leads to a landscape that freaks the fvck out of women. She smiles at a guy - guy thinks she wants to fvck. She looks at a guy - guy thinks she wants to fvck. The attention and validation is so free and easy that women start to really look down on men as these pathetic walking erections.

it’s scary for them. Every guy appears to want to fvck her. This makes her feel both hunted and aroused at the same time (fear and arousal are linked for women). But it manifests as open hostility and lots of hard No’s or hard “sorry, I have a boyfriend” rejections.

Dudes have to acknowledge and accept that every single time they approach a woman, they are making it just that little bit harder for themselves and everyone else.

…but there’s no other option because women, the vast majority of the time, will not approach. We have to approach them. But if every dude is approaching (and they are, believe me, just not effectively) then we are going to be dealing with what we have now.

i’d describe what we have now as an absolute feeding frenzy. The Simp/Thirst Economy.

This was such a good response.

I have been getting less "I Have a Boyfriend" excuses in the last 5-10 years or so. I heard that one way more in the 2000s than since the early to mid 2010s. I figured women were getting better at excuse making. I learned "Boyfriend Destroyer Lines" for hearing the "I Have a Boyfriend" excuse.

I agree that there is more thirst and more open hostility.

I agree that there is a pandemic of male thirst. The simping/male thirst and spam approaching is out of control!

Cold-approach has given me tremendous insight into women's nature, and the biggest insight I have gained is that most women are non-interested in men by default.

If you were a salesman who's job was to sell running shoes, and you settled on a telemarketing strategy that involved cold-calling random numbers in the phone book, chances are that you would sell very few (if any) pairs. From that, you might conclude that most people are simply not interested in running shoes. Of course, your conclusion would be 100% wrong, as just about everyone owns a pair of running shoes. However, there is a good reason why no one sells running shoes through telemarketing.

Cold calling is an inefficient and ineffective sales/marketing strategy. It can be argued that cold approaching is inefficient and ineffective too. I would agree with that. Cold approaching is a better channel strategy than the app swiping channel.

Unless you are exceptionally good looking, tall or have excellent game i would not expect anything from day time public cold approach nowadays. The reason being is it's simply considered socially unacceptable now. This isn't the early 2000s and 90s anymore.

Daytime cold approach still works and can easily be done without being considered "creepy." I am successful with it usually if I am striking up the conversations and overall just having a friendly vibe. You can pretty quickly tell whether or not you have a shot. I am guessing OP is telegraphing his intentions immediately and this is raising the alarm with the women he is approaching.

Cold approach can work now but it is far from the best way to spend your time. I have only embraced it since I've never had a viable social circle. I've done more day time approaching than night time bar approaching. I have gotten complimented by women on doing these types of approaches.

I do think there's something off about the way @momentomori is doing it, especially since he rates as an 8.5 on Photo Feeler.

 

[DonJuanjr]

I learned "Boyfriend Destroyer Lines" for hearing the "I Have a Boyfriend" excuse.

Can you give some example of some bf destroyer lines you've used that were successful?

 

[SW15]

This brings up another point. In the past women would give IOIs or something of a approach invitations. Today, the caliber is lower and women are glued to their phone. DHV is something that goes over a woman's head. It's not considered usually until the milk goes bad.

IOIs are fading. This isn't the 1990s or 2000s anymore. Millennial women have been notoriously poor at signaling. Looking for IOIs now is more a fruitless endeavor than it was in the mid-2000s but you can still get some if you look close enough. Interestingly enough, if Millennial women were better at signaling, it would cut down on the Spam approaching to some extent.

I am also a big believer in approaching as you go about your day and not making a point to go out and approach just for the sake of approaching. Some guys can pull that off, but for me, it instantly makes my game feel off.

Few men have a day-to-day routine that would enable enough approaching. This has gotten worse with the pandemic too as white collar men aren't showing up to office buildings anymore to hit on women in other companies in the same building. I got some approaches in and some numbers that way.

I was known for doing 2-3 hour weekend afternoon approach sessions on walking paths, in the grocery stores, and occasionally in the malls/bookstores.

 

[Plinco]

I was in the mall today and saw two 7.5/10, young energetic, my type of girls. My gut felt off about saying something to them as they walked past me. I chickened out.

Cold approach can work now but it is far from the best way to spend your time. I have only embraced it since I've never had a viable social circle. I've done more day time approaching than night time bar approaching. I have gotten complimented by women on doing these types of approaches.

I can't think of a better way other than cold approaching indirectly. Social circle game seems too beta.

 

[zinc4]

This is the absolute worst mindset for daygame cold approach. One I really try to avoid. If you view yourself as a creepy stranger approaching randoms, then how to do you think that's going to effect your Game? Firstly it's going to stop you approaching women during the day. I've gotten laid from daygame before. It is hard, but it does work. If I'm in a good state I can get numbers from about 50% of my approaches, but I am highly targeted. My state appears to have a massive effect on how women respond to me during the day.

With the huge amount of daygame approaches I have done over the years, and many failures and learnings, I've discovered that it's best to approach girls who are alone. You need a girl who's wandering around a mall, art gallery, book store alone. If she's outside, walking around on her own, then the likelihood that she's a bit vulnerable and needs a guy in her life increases quite a lot. Girls are a lot easier if they have a big void you can fill.

Your approach should be direct, but not complimenting her looks in any way. You mention something about her that you noticed, but nothing about her beauty. You might want to compliment her fashion or style or something. You then ask her name. If she gives you her name, you then ask what she's up to. She'll usually either tell you what she's up to, or try to exit the conversation. If she's open you can get a chat going. If you're getting closed responses then you can terminate the set politely and wish her well. The end goal is that you end the chat because you have to be somewhere else, but you'd like to see her again. Pull your phone and get her number.

It's really simple. You don't want to be too scripted. You want each girl's response to you dictate how you take the interaction and be picky about it. I actually terminate many sets soon after I start them, without number closing, because she's not what I thought I wanted.

I used to crunch the numbers and in my hey day so to speak, i was averaging about one real date from every 35 to 40 something plus approaches it seemed. This was before OLD was really a thing....back in the yahoo chat and AOL days. I got back i to it for a brief period about 5 years ago and all i can say us it felt much more difficult to get a real date.

Mind you, this is in the southern part if the US so it could vary greatly by location ofcourse.

 

[DonJuanjr]

i was averaging about one real date from every 35 to 40

I'm 1 for about 47.

 

[momentomori]

This is the absolute worst mindset for daygame cold approach. One I really try to avoid. If you view yourself as a creepy stranger approaching randoms, then how to do you think that's going to effect your Game? Firstly it's going to stop you approaching women during the day. I've gotten laid from daygame before. It is hard, but it does work. If I'm in a good state I can get numbers from about 50% of my approaches, but I am highly targeted. My state appears to have a massive effect on how women respond to me during the day.

With the huge amount of daygame approaches I have done over the years, and many failures and learnings, I've discovered that it's best to approach girls who are alone. You need a girl who's wandering around a mall, art gallery, book store alone. If she's outside, walking around on her own, then the likelihood that she's a bit vulnerable and needs a guy in her life increases quite a lot. Girls are a lot easier if they have a big void you can fill.

Your approach should be direct, but not complimenting her looks in any way. You mention something about her that you noticed, but nothing about her beauty. You might want to compliment her fashion or style or something. You then ask her name. If she gives you her name, you then ask what she's up to. She'll usually either tell you what she's up to, or try to exit the conversation. If she's open you can get a chat going. If you're getting closed responses then you can terminate the set politely and wish her well. The end goal is that you end the chat because you have to be somewhere else, but you'd like to see her again. Pull your phone and get her number.

It's really simple. You don't want to be too scripted. You want each girl's response to you dictate how you take the interaction and be picky about it. I actually terminate many sets soon after I start them, without number closing, because she's not what I thought I wanted.

I agree. Approaching girls who are alone is awesome. If you live in a city where people commute using public transit you are much more likely to encounter a girl alone (i.e., Europe and parts of Asia). However, in the U.S. people commute by car, and so the chances of finding girls walking around alone are lower than Europe/Asia. I live in the U.S. and I think daygame/game in general is particularly challenging for this reason. Having said that, I approach girls in groups of two often. Generally, I avoid 3+ but if the girl is hot enough I won't hesitate in going in.

I always compliment them on their beauty. People say sh!t like you shouldn't do that, it inflates their ego, they didn't work for it, etc. I think it's all bs, I prefer being as honest and direct as possible on the open/approach. Indirect just feels disingenuous but I mess around with it on occasion. To each their own though. Quite frankly it's irrelevant IMO.

As far as waiting for IOI's... LOL. I've approached girls staring the sh!t out of me and then once I walk up to them they get all awkward and reject. On the other hand, I've approached girls not acknowledging my existence and they exchange and go on a date. IMO, if you wait for choosing signals you will be waiting a long time to make an approach, and you are a fuc@$(g pu$$y (JK, we're having fun). Just my .02.

 

[momentomori]

I was in the mall today and saw two 7.5/10, young energetic, my type of girls. My gut felt off about saying something to them as they walked past me. I chickened out.

I can't think of a better way other than cold approaching indirectly. Social circle game seems too beta.

This is what I love about cold approach. You see that girl and you feel like a boss, and you at least took your shot, even though you got rejected. That feeling of "chickening out" is the worst and cold-approach at least makes you feel like your in the game. Whereas if you're not approaching you're not even in the game.

 

[momentomori]

You can't just approach women, you have to look good and approach women.....

Make sure you are dressed well, haircut, smell good, shoes ect......

Have a lil more swagger(the way you carry yourself) more confidence.

Your definitely doing something wrong but I would have to see you in action to really help.

If your not all that handsome/attractive then aim lower until you get more confident and comfortable with your approaches......

Cold Approaching is bread and butter, but it's not for the weak. Your success rate is a reflection of your SMV, Simple.

You gotta look good and carry yourself good, either you got it or you don't and will need to improve to have it.

Whenever me and my boys wanna get laid that's what we always did, go out and approach women but we do it like it's something we do all the time, we approach women as if we assume she's going to like us, confidence, gotta have that swagger, especially if your not "eye catching"

Don't give up, just work on yourself and find what works for you......good luck

I disagree. I approached and have gotten loads of numbers and almost banged a girl on an instadate while in gym clothes having just come from the gym. Fashion, if it does have an impact, is so small that it's not worth considering. Also, if you look like a try-hard f@ggot it will work against you. In general, I dress well, but at the end of the day it's not going to have an impact on outcomes.

 

[momentomori]

Welcome to the game. How old are you? What country???

I'm not casually taking a piss when I point out the abundance of shilling on YouTube and house husband's pedaling ebooks or some rubbish digital programming &&&& 0 receipts. Running game particularly cold approach is a day job. It's putting in work. It's not pods about hypergamy or some 6 hour rant about a Netflix doc. Receipts or didn't happen. But this is what you got for YouTube. For every 1 ToddV or Troy Francis with actual infield or receipts, you got call outs or Internet beefs. Attacks on marriage from guys who are married. Programs or ebooks on game from fellas who DON'T APPROACH.



Your not wrong. It's work. A model on the old rsd forum had a 10% success rate. Male model. This was before OLD swipe apps and only fans. No clue how much the numbers change but world class is about that ratio. Chad or a Tyrone with 10% success rate. Still gets rejection and blow outs. Still gets ghosted or flakes.

Been doing pickup for more than a decade. I swear by it over the low hanging fruit of OLD. Do both but approach has been far better in every metric. There is no catfish in pickup. There's no photoshop or filters. She's either dtf or #nextset! Work volume. Don't piss around decades or whatever. Approach minimum of a handful everyday. Allocate your time to generating income, start a biz, learn a trade or something else that has actual intrinsic value. Get a second passport. Have a bank account over seas. Obviously do it above board legally.

I'm out chain gunning pickup day or night. No excuses. I'm unapologetic. It's no game time when you feel like. It's jet lii unleashed. Collars off. Instead of kicking as your taking your d out and you smash. Obviously calibrate. No means #nextset. Blow me or blow me out. I don't hesitate. I approach, pull or next. Even when I pull and I beat it rotten, #nextset! On the walk back to the car I will open new sets. It's always game time.

You can take old school Rooshv and do sets of 100 or Julien Blancs handful everyday. Avoid burn out of going on a rampage.late nights out in clubs or bars. Do both day and night game. Avoid YouTube jargon. Vet gurus. If no receipts or in fields ... cool story bro. Didn't happen.

Work volume. Check old archives. Field test everything. Exercise common sense. Dev ability to story tell. Banter. Read women. Push pull. Learn when to #next and when to pull. Have your own gambit and openers not from some dork online but from your experience. Learn how to boost your own state. DHV.

Lastly, it's a tool. It's a skill set. That's it. You won't be perfect. The game isn't. Life isn't. You will take Ls. It is what it is. If you actually go through the fire you become something else. You actually know female nature. You recognize patterns of behavior. You spot high interest level. The game is COMPLIANCE. I lead. She follows or next.

Hotter girls are turning 18 everyday.

Never base your value on getting the girl. You active the man with or without the girl. Enough pickup and you see where these girls end up. You and I are competing for less than 1% of the population. Off rip you are already ahead of 99% of dudes cause men dont approach. 1% are any good at pickup.

Meditate. Enough contact with female logic will drive you nuts. Puahate and sluthate came because they failed to integrate the experience. Do headspace or calm app. Look up Muse.

Pickup, rejection, ghosting, pulling, beating it rotten etc is funny. The game is hilarious. It's all lulz.

2000 approaches? That's great dude. 2001 will be hilarious. Maybe you pull. Then you got some funny story to tell.

Guess what???

Spoiler

Every set is practice.

#nextset

@SW15 knows the game.

Glad to hear from other people putting in the work. Its work, and although I haven't gotten the results I would want, I do enjoy it. Just wish I got more results... Lol