Valentine's Day: Am I the *******?

[lgbs2004]

She blew up on him not because he removed her from social media, but because she wanted to get the final word in. It had nothing to do with him and everything to do with what "she wanted to do".

This!

 

[Glassguy]

This!

Yessss. She is a spoiled little tw@t. As a matter of fact, when she mentioned breaking up I would have sent "Awe thats too bad. You gave decent head. Why dont you come over and get down on your knees for me one last time and you can leave as soon as I finish in your mouth"......just to be the @sshole that I can be. That would have taken her off that pedestal in record time. Then again, I dont put them on the pedestal to begin with.......

OP has too many chemicals not currently balanced in his brain to do this to a chick he has feelings for.

 

[BPH]

I didn't see that until now. 1300+ posts too, smh

Why does **** like this matter? I kept a journal when I was in high school on this forum. I posted daily.

Like **** off "I should know better because I'm a "Master DJ" according to a forum"...Jesus Christ.

I've been in 3 ****ing relationships. I don't do this kinda crap for reasons like the very ****ing thing I'm posting about in the first place. Normally I just run through chicks and keep FWBs going until they get tired of there being no hope of a relationship, they move on, I move on.

Judging my actions versus "what I should know by now" against something I have very little experience sounds like some YouTube comment bull**** where you're making assessments based off some damn internet points. You sound like the very girl I'm having a problem with because "I should know" that she'd want to spend Valentine's Day with me in person.

Just **** off with that kinda crap. If you want to give me advice give it to me with the knowledge that I may or may not follow it to the letter. And that regardless of whether I do, you may be right, you may be wrong, and I'll learn from this experience either way.

But Jesus Christ you guys should not be angrier than me about this situation.

My god, rant over.

 

[lgbs2004]

"No one is as angry as the person who is wrong"

 

[King Lion]

Well...in the few hours since my last post a lot has happened actually...

A few minutes after I removed her from socials she notices and BLOWS UP. Starts texting me, trying to call me, etc.

She's saying that what I did wasn't mature, is this how I handle breakups, etc. Then she starts pleading for me to answer the phone, have an adult conversation, that kinda stuff. So I tell her that we're either going to have this conversation in person or not at all, and that if this is important to her she's going to have to come to me and talk face-to-face.

I didn't think much of it, she continued to go off for a while...I didn't respond, and just a few minutes ago I get this text "Okay, fine I suppose we'll do it your way. Pick a bar and a time."

Listen up, Skippy!

You still have a chance with her.

What you don't know, or understand, is that in her $500k/yr. work arena she is working with BSDs. Not soft-as-tits beta-male simp manginas.

So if you want to keep her and/or make it in her world - you better get tough kid!

NOW, after your recent take-no-bvll****, dump a dumb b*tch with-the-quickness attitude, she is feeling you as a MAN and that can work in your favor.

Tell her to come to your place - No bar!

If/When she gets there, don't be all smiley, or huggy-kissy like a kid with a Happy Meal at McDonald's. Just look to see if she has brought a peace offering. If she has, that's shows consideration.

If not, look at her, but don't let her in. When she asks "Why". Tell her you're starting to re-think whether or not it's worth your time.

Let her make the decision, because just like you, it's a females prerogative to decide who, what, when, where and why we do what we do.

If/When she shows feminine energy, let her in. If not, then unload a charge on her for being an inconsiderate selfish ingrate - Everything you are not.

If she tries to give you any attitude - Tell her to STFU - That lets her know this is not a topic up for discussion, because you, as do most decent people, appreciate gratitude - Not a sh*tty ungrateful attitude!

Don't suck up, or try to charm your way into her snatch - Let her come to grips with how/why she has come to be left wet and wondering by you from your new found highly 'charged' masculine energy.

At that point she will try to supplicate you, or threaten to bail on you. Either way, there should be no ambiguity so you will have your answer.

If she stays - Fvck the living **** outta her.

I mean literally give her the greatest hardest beat the lining outta her uterus and tear dat azz up banging she has ever had!

Then after she has had sufficient time to recover and pillow talk to you, tell her if she's willing to make you a sandwich - you may just do it again!

The Rest Is Up To You.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Why does **** like this matter? I kept a journal when I was in high school on this forum. I posted daily.

Like **** off "I should know better because I'm a "Master DJ" according to a forum"...Jesus Christ.

I've been in 3 ****ing relationships. I don't do this kinda crap for reasons like the very ****ing thing I'm posting about in the first place. Normally I just run through chicks and keep FWBs going until they get tired of there being no hope of a relationship, they move on, I move on.

Judging my actions versus "what I should know by now" against something I have very little experience sounds like some YouTube comment bull**** where you're making assessments based off some damn internet points. You sound like the very girl I'm having a problem with because "I should know" that she'd want to spend Valentine's Day with me in person.

Just **** off with that kinda crap. If you want to give me advice give it to me with the knowledge that I may or may not follow it to the letter. And that regardless of whether I do, you may be right, you may be wrong, and I'll learn from this experience either way.

But Jesus Christ you guys should not be angrier than me about this situation.

My god, rant over.

To be fair, it's not easy being a Bi Polar Humper.

 

[BPH]

Listen up, Skippy!

You still have a chance with her.

What you don't know, or understand, is that in her $500k/yr. work arena she is working with BSDs. Not soft-as-tits beta-male simp manginas.

So if you want to keep her and/or make it in her world - you better get tough kid!

NOW, after your recent take-no-bvll****, dump a dumb b*tch with-the-quickness attitude, she is feeling you as a MAN and that can work in your favor.

Tell her to come to your place - No bar!

If/When she gets there, don't be all smiley, or huggy-kissy like a kid with a Happy Meal at McDonald's. Just look to see if she has brought a peace offering. If she has, that's shows consideration.

If not, look at her, but don't let her in. When she asks "Why". Tell her you're starting to re-think whether or not it's worth your time.

Let her make the decision, because just like you, it's a females prerogative to decide who, what, when, where and why we do what we do.

If/When she shows feminine energy, let her in. If not, then unload a charge on her for being an inconsiderate selfish ingrate - Everything you are not.

If she tries to give you any attitude - Tell her to STFU - That lets her know this is not a topic up for discussion, because you, as do most decent people, appreciate gratitude - Not a sh*tty ungrateful attitude!

Don't suck up, or try to charm your way into her snatch - Let her come to grips with how/why she has come to be left wet and wondering by you from your new found highly 'charged' masculine energy.

At that point she will try to supplicate you, or threaten to bail on you. Either way, there should be no ambiguity so you will have your answer.

If she stays - Fvck the living **** outta her.

I mean literally give her the greatest hardest beat the lining outta her uterus and tear dat azz up banging she has ever had!

Then after she has had sufficient time to recover and pillow talk to you, tell her if she's willing to make you a sandwich - you may just do it again!

The Rest Is Up To You.

Alright, I'll reply to you specifically because this is closest to what I was planning to do and closest to what I did do.

Ok so here's what happened...

Saturday comes around. I'm not expecting much because she's under the impression that I was out banging some other girl on account of a random person texting her claiming to be some girl that's going to have fun with me in Atlantic City in an attempt to piss her off.

In the morning on Saturday she's asking to push the time back because she's super hungover and didn't sleep and I told her she made that decision, so she has to make this one today. Either she comes or she doesn't.

She doesn't respond after I ghost her following that message, so I assume she isn't on her way. But lo and behold, she does show up, and she did bring wine as something of a peace offering and as something to try and have a calmer conversation.

I initially thought it was over in the first 10 minutes. I sat her down and unloaded on her because she kept interrupting, trying to argue with me, being immature overall when I'm trying to be serious. I tell her she's gotta cut that **** out or she leave, and after making this offer a few times, she does. She gets up, walks out, and sits in her car.

I start closing up and turning off lights, I walk out to leave and as I'm going up to my car she comes out of hers and asks "is this really it?" I tell her if she wants to finish the conversation we can go back inside but it's not going to be an argument or a discussion, it will be what has to happen for me to want to continue with the relationship.

So we go back in and resume, she opens up the wine, and I tell her what needs to change; that she needs to be respectful and take me seriously when something's upsetting me, and that she needs to communicate things that are bothering her and if she wants to be part of a decision if I'm unknowingly disregarding her. She agrees that she can make some compromises.

However she also believes that I'M the toxic one in the relationship and that she couldn't believe that I was capable of being so cold and unloving during this little break-up over text ****. She thinks this all happened because she came to me feeling disappointed about Valentine's Day and the efforts I made over the weekend - she doesn't really see it as me being upset that she was ungrateful with my efforts. The odd thing was that she mentioned how she went to her friends about this crap the same way I went to mine and that they all agreed that my effort was minimal...

Anyway, we're talking in circles for a while so I boil it down to a few things so we can move on; she made the trip on my terms so this means something to her, she brought wine in an effort to have a more relaxed conversation, she agreed to make some compromises with her behavior without demanding any of me. She just did it in a way that was more "kicking and screaming" than I was expecting. In all fairness, watching her interact with other people, including her boss, is not dissimilar from how she behaves with me, so I suppose that makes some sense...

So I took her upstairs, tore off her clothes, and ****ed her down right there on the floor and finished on her chest.

From that point she felt a need to punish me for what she saw as me ignoring and punishing her, which happened in the form of sarcasm and messing with me about what she wanted; saying maybe we should have an open relationship, that there ARE 1 or 2 guys she'd want to hang out with first, that we should take a break for a week or two, etc. This boiled down to her just being an ******* because she knew it would get a rise out of me...

She leaves and texts me soon afterwards saying that she's getting dinner then heading home before inviting me to come join her, asking if I want to blow off everybody else and "come cuddle and ****". I took some time deciding whether I should do this, and thought that I got what I wanted, and if we're "good" and going to continue moving forward that I shouldn't continue punishing her, so I accept.

We get there late at night, she's on FaceTime with her girlfriend for a while and we're just sipping wine, ordering food, and relaxing in PJs. She argues her point a little more about how she was feeling and really thinking I need therapy because of how cold I was, but we don't get into a fight and we eventually go to bed. I later learn that she was EXTREMELY tired because in an effort to make the day and time I picked she didn't sleep at all on Saturday for fear that she wouldn't wake up in time.

Sunday is much better. It takes her some time to warm back up to me after feeling like I had punished her, but she comes around. She tells me that she didn't do anything with any other guys while we were broken up, and I believe her. She tells me how she was tempted, and how she thought about it, and how a combination of input from her friends and her own guilty conscience kept tame until she had the conversation with me to see what would happen. I believe her, and I appreciated her honesty.

 

[BPH]

Part 2 due to character/word limit...

We have amazing sex a few times before I head home; once where she said it was the best sex she's ever had, and then the very next time she has what she described as the most amazing orgasm of her life. So that was good.

I drive home, telling her I made it safe, before receiving one of the sweetest text messages I ever got from her; essentially promising that she will speak out more about things that are bothering or concerning her, and being a part of a decision because she isn't used to having people care about what she wants, along with promising that she will respect me when I'm truly being serious and won't make light of those moments.

Following this, where I'm at now in terms of what I'm thinking and what I want to do...objectively, she did do what I asked, she just didn't do it quite as submissively as I would've liked. I'm sure her friends agree with her and reinforce her point of view and I fully expect to not have been painted in the best light by her when she has her own retelling of how this conversation went down. However, she agreed to make changes, so I can see if she follows through and approach the relationship with a one-strike philosophy moving forward.

Some extra bits of background information for context:

She is Type A manic depressive bipolar, she is not Type B. She medicates, but her experience is that she experiences very low lows when she's down.

Her previous 2 relationships were very abusive; physically and emotionally. One was very short and more recent, the other was 10 years with a man who regularly cheated on her, put his hands on her, even proposed to her before cheating on her 2 days later. She would regularly leave him and once he tried to get her back she would do so, I'm the first person she's been with since then that has not been the case.

I believe her when she tells me what she has/hasn't done with guys in terms of cheating because she was faithful with that 10-year relationship and because she has a guilty conscience. She told me maybe 1 month into us seeing each other that she had been with 1 other guy aside from me. It was eating her alive and she told me she wanted to get it off her chest, but was afraid how I would react. I don't call her honesty and loyalty into question.

She is adopted, and had come from a series of foster homes until she was rescued by her current mother. During that time she had faced neglect, abuse, and due to the fact that her siblings are degenerates in one form or another, she has taken on the mantle of being the provider. Hence why she has managed to be so financially successful and has a lot more masculine traits than most other women I know.

Anyway, I know this was a hell of a read, and I'm sure I'll get a lot of negative responses, but this is what happened over the weekend and I wanted to share that experience. Let me know what you think, good or bad, I'll make sure to read over them all.

Thanks for all the input and advice otherwise. I appreciated yours in this case especially King Lion.

 

[Dr.Suave]

At least u are getting a bunch of sex out of this

 

[dude99]

Part 2 due to character/word limit...

We have amazing sex a few times before I head home; once where she said it was the best sex she's ever had, and then the very next time she has what she described as the most amazing orgasm of her life. So that was good.

I drive home, telling her I made it safe, before receiving one of the sweetest text messages I ever got from her; essentially promising that she will speak out more about things that are bothering or concerning her, and being a part of a decision because she isn't used to having people care about what she wants, along with promising that she will respect me when I'm truly being serious and won't make light of those moments.

Following this, where I'm at now in terms of what I'm thinking and what I want to do...objectively, she did do what I asked, she just didn't do it quite as submissively as I would've liked. I'm sure her friends agree with her and reinforce her point of view and I fully expect to not have been painted in the best light by her when she has her own retelling of how this conversation went down. However, she agreed to make changes, so I can see if she follows through and approach the relationship with a one-strike philosophy moving forward.

Some extra bits of background information for context:

She is Type A manic depressive bipolar, she is not Type B. She medicates, but her experience is that she experiences very low lows when she's down.

Her previous 2 relationships were very abusive; physically and emotionally. One was very short and more recent, the other was 10 years with a man who regularly cheated on her, put his hands on her, even proposed to her before cheating on her 2 days later. She would regularly leave him and once he tried to get her back she would do so, I'm the first person she's been with since then that has not been the case.

I believe her when she tells me what she has/hasn't done with guys in terms of cheating because she was faithful with that 10-year relationship and because she has a guilty conscience. She told me maybe 1 month into us seeing each other that she had been with 1 other guy aside from me. It was eating her alive and she told me she wanted to get it off her chest, but was afraid how I would react. I don't call her honesty and loyalty into question.

She is adopted, and had come from a series of foster homes until she was rescued by her current mother. During that time she had faced neglect, abuse, and due to the fact that her siblings are degenerates in one form or another, she has taken on the mantle of being the provider. Hence why she has managed to be so financially successful and has a lot more masculine traits than most other women I know.

Anyway, I know this was a hell of a read, and I'm sure I'll get a lot of negative responses, but this is what happened over the weekend and I wanted to share that experience. Let me know what you think, good or bad, I'll make sure to read over them all.

Thanks for all the input and advice otherwise. I appreciated yours in this case especially King Lion.

I hate to say this but she is placating you, and disarming you in order to get her tallons back into you.

Her games never even stopped. Even though she was placating you she still tried to push your buttons. When she asked for the open relationship because she had 2 other guys she wants to fack that was probably the truth and she is probably going to fack them behind your back.

She will play nice nice and pretend to be the perfect girlfriend for the next two months or so, all cluster b'd do this, but she is already laying the foundation for her to go all abused victim.

She is already making herself the victim in her friends eyes by slandering you to them. This should bother you enough to walk Away but for some reason it doesn't.

She has already been in 2 other abusive relationships so she says, her side of the story, says the cluster b. It would be interesting to get the guys she was with, their prespective on things. Cluster Bs love to play victim to the drama they create.

She is setting you up as the new abuser/monster in her life. "You need therapy for how cold you were. Your coldness is abuse."

She wants drama. She is following the cluster b script by turning you into her new abuser after she created the problems and drama. The question is why do you want a part in her play?


When she said it was over you should have stopped all communication right there.

The drama won't stop dude.

 

[Barrister]

I hate to say this but she is placating you, and disarming you in order to get her tallons back into you.

Her games never even stopped. Even though she was placating you she still tried to push your buttons. When she asked for the open relationship because she had 2 other guys she wants to fack that was probably the truth and she is probably going to fack them behind your back.

She will play nice nice and pretend to be the perfect girlfriend for the next two months or so, all cluster b'd do this, but she is already laying the foundation for her to go all abused victim.

She is already making herself the victim in her friends eyes by slandering you to them. This should bother you enough to walk Away but for some reason it doesn't.

She has already been in 2 other abusive relationships so she says, her side of the story, says the cluster b. It would be interesting to get the guys she was with, their prespective on things. Cluster Bs love to play victim to the drama they create.

She is setting you up as the new abuser/monster in her life. "You need therapy for how cold you were. Your coldness is abuse."

She wants drama. She is following the cluster b script by turning you into her new abuser after she created the problems and drama. The question is why do you want a part in her play?


When she said it was over you should have stopped all communication right there.

The drama won't stop dude.

Looking at this situation from afar like we are it is so easy to recognize these Cluster B tendencies (and I have gone through it myself). The rollercoaster ride looks as unhealthy as it is from a distance. However, when you are on it, it can be completely intoxicating. The horrible fighting followed by crazy-good sex. OP is clearly completely caught up in it. The only thing that is likely going to get him off of it is a crash and burn.

 

[lgbs2004]

The only thing that is likely going to get him off of it is a crash and burn.

And that's exactly what's going to happen

 

[dude99]

Looking at this situation from afar like we are it is so easy to recognize these Cluster B tendencies (and I have gone through it myself). The rollercoaster ride looks as unhealthy as it is from a distance. However, when you are on it, it can be completely intoxicating. The horrible fighting followed by crazy-good sex. OP is clearly completely caught up in it. The only thing that is likely going to get him off of it is a crash and burn.

Yes i understand. I too dated a sociopath and a BPD cluster b's in my day. I too was put through the ringer from their mental abuse and drama BS and i studied the disorders too in my time and that is why i am a firm believer in ZERO chances for any cluster b personality. I have been there and done that.

The only way to win/be happy when it comes to cluster b's and toxic chicks in general is to not engage with them at all.

 

[BPH]

Yeah, I kinda expected this response.

Well if something else terrible happens and I walk away I'm sure I'll revisit this post so you guys can have an "I told you so moment".

She did what I wanted, it just wasn't as one-sided as I would've wanted it to be. So I'm cautiously optimistic; either there's another crash and burn and I can walk away without wondering "what if", or she makes the changes she said she would and we're able to move forward and have a healthy relationship. Either way, I'll have my outcome without wasting much more of my time.

Further point, as I mentioned before, she is Type A Manic Depressive Bipolar...she is NOT Type B...and her brother who lives with her along with friends and family have confirmed how her ex treated her. Just wanted to flesh that out a bit.

 

[Barrister]

Yeah, I kinda expected this response.

Well if something else terrible happens and I walk away I'm sure I'll revisit this post so you guys can have an "I told you so moment".

She did what I wanted, it just wasn't as one-sided as I would've wanted it to be. So I'm cautiously optimistic; either there's another crash and burn and I can walk away without wondering "what if", or she makes the changes she said she would and we're able to move forward and have a healthy relationship. Either way, I'll have my outcome without wasting much more of my time.

Further point, as I mentioned before, she is Type A Manic Depressive Bipolar...she is NOT Type B...and her brother who lives with her along with friends and family have confirmed how her ex treated her. Just wanted to flesh that out a bit.

No one takes any joy out of your situation. For those of us who have been in LTRs with these kind of women we understand what you are going through. You are still wearing rose-colored glasses if you think there is any chance of a happy ending. Her blame of her ex is a classic cluster B trait - and her brother covering for her, who is family, means nothing one way or another. She sounds like she has traits of both narcissism and borderline from what you describe.

I really hope it works out for you and you don't come back here. Even if you do, it isn't going to give myself or anyone else in this thread satisfaction to say "I told you so." I am sorry you are dealing with this.

 

[BPH]

No one takes any joy out of your situation. For those of us who have been in LTRs with these kind of women we understand what you are going through. You are still wearing rose-colored glasses if you think there is any chance of a happy ending. Her blame of her ex is a classic cluster B trait - and her brother covering for her, who is family, means nothing one way or another. She sounds like she has traits of both narcissism and borderline from what you describe.

I really hope it works out for you and you don't come back here. Even if you do, it isn't going to give myself or anyone else in this thread satisfaction to say "I told you so." I am sorry you are dealing with this.

I appreciate that, I guess I'll see.

I'm not oblivious to what I'm getting myself into, but if it doesn't work out I'll have learned something from the experience and can walk away feeling like I gave it my all.

 

[dude99]

Yeah, I kinda expected this response.

Well if something else terrible happens and I walk away I'm sure I'll revisit this post so you guys can have an "I told you so moment".

She did what I wanted, it just wasn't as one-sided as I would've wanted it to be. So I'm cautiously optimistic; either there's another crash and burn and I can walk away without wondering "what if", or she makes the changes she said she would and we're able to move forward and have a healthy relationship. Either way, I'll have my outcome without wasting much more of my time.

Further point, as I mentioned before, she is Type A Manic Depressive Bipolar...she is NOT Type B...and her brother who lives with her along with friends and family have confirmed how her ex treated her. Just wanted to flesh that out a bit.

Believe me when i say this i do not want to have an i told you so moment. I do not relish in any guy being used and and abused by some chick. I am just issuing you fair warning so you can not wast time and emotions and your resources investing in a trap that will spring on you one day.

As for Bi-polar, all bi-polar is a cluster b type personality. She may be type a bi-polar manic etc... for that paticular personality but the disorder itself is a type b personality disorder itself. All sociopaths, narcissistis, all borderline personality disorders all estronic personality disorders all bi polar disorders are all type b personality disorders. She may be type a in the bi-polar catagory of bi-polar itself, but she is still a type B in the mental disorder.

With that being said. Guard your heart. Personaliy i would give her her walking papers. But if you choose to stay with her after this placating i would not invest anything serious in her. No emotions no serious amount of time and no financial resources (yes she makes more than you but that wont stop a scorned cluster b from trying to financially ruin you in the future.)

 

[Glassguy]

I appreciate that, I guess I'll see.

I'm not oblivious to what I'm getting myself into, but if it doesn't work out I'll have learned something from the experience and can walk away feeling like I gave it my all.

Let me get this straight.....
She flat out tells you that there are a few guys that she wants to hang out with (fuc them) and she needs a week or two break....

And you're still pursuing making this relationship work with her?

Or did I read that earlier message you posted wrong?

 

[King Lion]

Alright, I'll reply to you specifically because this is closest to what I was planning to do and closest to what I did do.

Ok so here's what happened...

Saturday comes around. I'm not expecting much because she's under the impression that I was out banging some other girl on account of a random person texting her claiming to be some girl that's going to have fun with me in Atlantic City in an attempt to piss her off.

In the morning on Saturday she's asking to push the time back because she's super hungover and didn't sleep and I told her she made that decision, so she has to make this one today. Either she comes or she doesn't.

She doesn't respond after I ghost her following that message, so I assume she isn't on her way. But lo and behold, she does show up, and she did bring wine as something of a peace offering and as something to try and have a calmer conversation.

I initially thought it was over in the first 10 minutes. I sat her down and unloaded on her because she kept interrupting, trying to argue with me, being immature overall when I'm trying to be serious. I tell her she's gotta cut that **** out or she leave, and after making this offer a few times, she does. She gets up, walks out, and sits in her car.

I start closing up and turning off lights, I walk out to leave and as I'm going up to my car she comes out of hers and asks "is this really it?" I tell her if she wants to finish the conversation we can go back inside but it's not going to be an argument or a discussion, it will be what has to happen for me to want to continue with the relationship.

So we go back in and resume, she opens up the wine, and I tell her what needs to change; that she needs to be respectful and take me seriously when something's upsetting me, and that she needs to communicate things that are bothering her and if she wants to be part of a decision if I'm unknowingly disregarding her. She agrees that she can make some compromises.

However she also believes that I'M the toxic one in the relationship and that she couldn't believe that I was capable of being so cold and unloving during this little break-up over text ****. She thinks this all happened because she came to me feeling disappointed about Valentine's Day and the efforts I made over the weekend - she doesn't really see it as me being upset that she was ungrateful with my efforts. The odd thing was that she mentioned how she went to her friends about this crap the same way I went to mine and that they all agreed that my effort was minimal...

Anyway, we're talking in circles for a while so I boil it down to a few things so we can move on; she made the trip on my terms so this means something to her, she brought wine in an effort to have a more relaxed conversation, she agreed to make some compromises with her behavior without demanding any of me. She just did it in a way that was more "kicking and screaming" than I was expecting. In all fairness, watching her interact with other people, including her boss, is not dissimilar from how she behaves with me, so I suppose that makes some sense...

So I took her upstairs, tore off her clothes, and ****ed her down right there on the floor and finished on her chest.

From that point she felt a need to punish me for what she saw as me ignoring and punishing her, which happened in the form of sarcasm and messing with me about what she wanted; saying maybe we should have an open relationship, that there ARE 1 or 2 guys she'd want to hang out with first, that we should take a break for a week or two, etc. This boiled down to her just being an ******* because she knew it would get a rise out of me...

She leaves and texts me soon afterwards saying that she's getting dinner then heading home before inviting me to come join her, asking if I want to blow off everybody else and "come cuddle and ****". I took some time deciding whether I should do this, and thought that I got what I wanted, and if we're "good" and going to continue moving forward that I shouldn't continue punishing her, so I accept.

We get there late at night, she's on FaceTime with her girlfriend for a while and we're just sipping wine, ordering food, and relaxing in PJs. She argues her point a little more about how she was feeling and really thinking I need therapy because of how cold I was, but we don't get into a fight and we eventually go to bed. I later learn that she was EXTREMELY tired because in an effort to make the day and time I picked she didn't sleep at all on Saturday for fear that she wouldn't wake up in time.

Sunday is much better. It takes her some time to warm back up to me after feeling like I had punished her, but she comes around. She tells me that she didn't do anything with any other guys while we were broken up, and I believe her. She tells me how she was tempted, and how she thought about it, and how a combination of input from her friends and her own guilty conscience kept tame until she had the conversation with me to see what would happen. I believe her, and I appreciated her honesty.

Well done, man!

 

[King Lion]

Part 2 due to character/word limit...

We have amazing sex a few times before I head home; once where she said it was the best sex she's ever had, and then the very next time she has what she described as the most amazing orgasm of her life. So that was good.

I drive home, telling her I made it safe, before receiving one of the sweetest text messages I ever got from her; essentially promising that she will speak out more about things that are bothering or concerning her, and being a part of a decision because she isn't used to having people care about what she wants, along with promising that she will respect me when I'm truly being serious and won't make light of those moments.

Following this, where I'm at now in terms of what I'm thinking and what I want to do...objectively, she did do what I asked, she just didn't do it quite as submissively as I would've liked. I'm sure her friends agree with her and reinforce her point of view and I fully expect to not have been painted in the best light by her when she has her own retelling of how this conversation went down. However, she agreed to make changes, so I can see if she follows through and approach the relationship with a one-strike philosophy moving forward.

Some extra bits of background information for context:

She is Type A manic depressive bipolar, she is not Type B. She medicates, but her experience is that she experiences very low lows when she's down.

Her previous 2 relationships were very abusive; physically and emotionally. One was very short and more recent, the other was 10 years with a man who regularly cheated on her, put his hands on her, even proposed to her before cheating on her 2 days later. She would regularly leave him and once he tried to get her back she would do so, I'm the first person she's been with since then that has not been the case.

I believe her when she tells me what she has/hasn't done with guys in terms of cheating because she was faithful with that 10-year relationship and because she has a guilty conscience. She told me maybe 1 month into us seeing each other that she had been with 1 other guy aside from me. It was eating her alive and she told me she wanted to get it off her chest, but was afraid how I would react. I don't call her honesty and loyalty into question.

She is adopted, and had come from a series of foster homes until she was rescued by her current mother. During that time she had faced neglect, abuse, and due to the fact that her siblings are degenerates in one form or another, she has taken on the mantle of being the provider. Hence why she has managed to be so financially successful and has a lot more masculine traits than most other women I know.

Anyway, I know this was a hell of a read, and I'm sure I'll get a lot of negative responses, but this is what happened over the weekend and I wanted to share that experience. Let me know what you think, good or bad, I'll make sure to read over them all.

Thanks for all the input and advice otherwise. I appreciated yours in this case especially King Lion.

She has found a real man that is a PRIZE in you now, and she knows it....Be well.