First date went well, now silence

Dash Riprock

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Seems like typical female behavior for 2022. If it were me I'd just move on. Could be 1000 reasons, most of which were/are out of your control.

Don't beat yourself up.

What I definitely wouldn't do though is double text her. I've actually had women reply or reach out months after I sent a message, lol.
 

SW15

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Seems like typical female behavior for 2022. If it were me I'd just move on. Could be 1000 reasons, most of which were/are out of your control.

Don't beat yourself up.

What I definitely wouldn't do though is double text her. I've actually had women reply or reach out months after I sent a message, lol.
Double texting is bad. I would make it standard to not even double text male friends. It's an important habit to form.

I've had women reply to texts months after I sent them. I had forgotten about those women.
 

Dr.Suave

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Delete her number
 

user252009

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I would stop listening to her words. And highly recomend you stop initiating after date 1. She will let you know then and thats what you listen to. Here is another one for the text first crowd.

And OP coffees are not really a good first date. Evening and drinks
I stopped initiating after 1st dates a few years back and NEVER heard back until I texted them first - even weeks later. So yeah, all this advice here has NOT benefitted me in any way. Everyone here says bang her on the first date, and then complains how hard it is to find a good woman for LTR. Are you guys listening to yourself?
 

user252009

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Seems like typical female behavior for 2022. If it were me I'd just move on. Could be 1000 reasons, most of which were/are out of your control.

Don't beat yourself up.

What I definitely wouldn't do though is double text her. I've actually had women reply or reach out months after I sent a message, lol.
Yeah
 

GreatHornedOwl

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From my experience in situations like this, the woman probably wasn't interested from the start. You'd have to screw up pretty bad to not hear back from her again, which probably isn't the case. Usually there's another guy in the picture.

As far as waiting for her to reach out after the date; that's feminine behavior to me. We lead, they follow. If you don't contact them, they're going to assume you're not interested and start talking to someone else. Women are not going to do the work for you.

You have to be assertive and get the ball rolling. Women usually expect you to put in most of the effort until they're in a relationship and feel an emotional connection. That's when the dynamic changes.
 

user252009

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From my experience in situations like this, the woman probably wasn't interested from the start. You'd have to screw up pretty bad to not hear back from her again, which probably isn't the case. Usually there's another guy in the picture.

As far as waiting for her to reach out after the date; that's feminine behavior to me. We lead, they follow. If you don't contact them, they're going to assume you're not interested and start talking to someone else. Women are not going to do the work for you.

You have to be assertive and get the ball rolling. Women usually expect you to put in most of the effort until they're in a relationship and feel an emotional connection. That's when the dynamic changes.
See? Again, a completely different proposal from majority of guys here. I think I’m done listening to everyone here and go with my gut. Before I discovered redpill and started listening to others, I had a lot more success with women.
 

SW15

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OP nothing personal here but no it wasnt. Or you wouldnt be in this situation. Maybe address how you are coming to this conclusion. I wish I had a dollar for every date that went well but the guy got ghosted the next 2 weeks.
I agree that it wasn't a great vibe. It might have been a good vibe, an above average vibe. While it is possible to get ghosted with a good vibe, a great vibe isn't going to lead to a ghost. The threshold of what constitutes a high quality date has increased over time. What would have been considered a great date in 2002 or 2007 is more likely to be considered merely a good date though. A good time and a pleasant conversation is not an assurance of anything now.

You have to be assertive and get the ball rolling. Women usually expect you to put in most of the effort until they're in a relationship and feel an emotional connection. That's when the dynamic changes.
The guys who get the short end of the stick on this are the guys who are stuck in an endless cycle of "one date, no sex, no second date" type interactions. They put in most of the effort and never get rewarded with the era where a woman starts to put in some of the relational effort.

As far as waiting for her to reach out after the date; that's feminine behavior to me. We lead, they follow. If you don't contact them, they're going to assume you're not interested and start talking to someone else. Women are not going to do the work for you.
This is true. Yes, there will occasionally be some women who contact you a few days after a date if they haven't heard from you. That behavior is rare. Most often, it will be the man who re-contacts the woman after an early stage date. Ideally, that contact is 5-9 days after the date.
 

Clamslammer

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it could be that she started to like you and is now nervous or feels insecure. Happened me very often. Funny how many retards here see it from the negative side or that OP did something wrong. For sure we cant tell, there are billion reasons why she might ignoring you. Let her internalize her feelings, meanwhile date others so you don't get stuck up with her.
People don't realize how often this happens when a guy has his stuff together. Girls are insecure and they know they cannot control you so they just eject. They believe that you will eventually reject them because they are not good enough for you. They will make some Bs excuse like we didn't click even though you can tell the way she looks at you she has genuine desire Guys do this as well with hot women but guys reject girls before they even approach them.

Op don't burn bridges with this women, if you know you did nothing wrong then don't worry about it. Do Not reach back out to her. You already did your part and she didn't respond, you did your part and now the balls in her court. She may or may not reach out, either way it does not matter you are looking for other women.
 

sangheilios

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@user252009

Honestly, you shouldn't even bother with expending any more of your time or energy into deciphering whether or not your date went well and if she is interested or not. When a woman is heavily interested she will readily respond to anything from you, it doesn't matter if you text or call......it's all just the same. A few years ago I met a woman that pursued ME before our first date, we had made plans for a specific day and I didn't even bother texting her the day of but she reached out asking if we were still good to go. We went on the date, I guess she lost interest and I never heard from her after that lol. Trying to figure out what is going on from their side will make you go insane, as there could literally be hundreds of combinations of variables at play. Maybe her cat died, maybe her Mom is in the hospital, maybe you gave up fboy vibes, maybe she's a lesbian, maybe she's speaking to an ex......who the hell knows.

As @BackInTheGame78 mentioned, I think the only way to really tell if a woman is interested is if you've had a sexual experience with her AND she is still in contact with you. Even something like her having sex with you doesn't mean anything, I've heard stories of women going all the way after a first date and then the hamster wheel spins with thoughts like "I just had sex with him on the first date, he'll just think I'm easy and just want me for that and not want anything more, I'm so embarrassed.".

I learned a while ago to stop stressing myself out over stuff like this and unless a woman is actively going out of her way to pursue me I don't bother and put 0 effort in.
 

EyeBRollin

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Met up with this great girl for a first (coffee) date last weekend, it went really great, we had a great genuine connection (we're originally both from the same part of Europe, but living in a different country now), she said at the end she really enjoyed it and that we'll talk. On Tuesday, I texted her and we shot back and forth a few short messages, then I asked her for dinner and drinks and what she thought about it, and got no reply - even now, still silence. Wth?
Wait 5-9 days after the first date than call her up. You have to be patient enough to see if she will reach out. Almost all guys fail this.
 

sangheilios

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The guys who get the short end of the stick on this are the guys who are stuck in an endless cycle of "one date, no sex, no second date" type interactions. They put in most of the effort and never get rewarded with the era where a woman starts to put in some of the relational effort.
That was basically my life from 2016 through 2019, which was when I totally gave up and moved on to other things for the sake of my mental health. Nothing was working and I legitimately thought I was developing some mental health issues (extreme anger, constantly second guessing myself, developing body image issues, etc.). Crazy part I was even going for women below my actual league and got nothing but attitude but yet these women would go for literally obese men, guys a full foot shorter than me, etc.
 
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See? Again, a completely different proposal from majority of guys here. I think I’m done listening to everyone here and go with my gut. Before I discovered redpill and started listening to others, I had a lot more success with women.
I understand, right now there's a great schism between redpillers(former PUAs now), freeagent lifestylers, and blackpillers
 

SW15

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The guys who get the short end of the stick on this are the guys who are stuck in an endless cycle of "one date, no sex, no second date" type interactions. They put in most of the effort and never get rewarded with the era where a woman starts to put in some of the relational effort.
That was basically my life from 2016 through 2019, which was when I totally gave up and moved on to other things for the sake of my mental health. Nothing was working and I legitimately thought I was developing some mental health issues (extreme anger, constantly second guessing myself, developing body image issues, etc.). Crazy part I was even going for women below my actual league and got nothing but attitude but yet these women would go for literally obese men, guys a full foot shorter than me, etc.
Too many "one date, no sex, no second date" type interactions with 0 successes will be psychologically traumatic. I'm not surprised that you experienced any of the things you experienced between 2016 and 2019 with those "one date, no sex, no second date" interactions.

Never go for women beneath your league. Since you are 6'4" and you have big muscles, your league is an impressive league. You need to only interact with the fittest women. The height thing is a huge advantage. Taller women, who have a smaller market, could really be into that. You could seriously consider focusing in on 5'10"-6'2" women. These women don't have as much of a market since they are either the same height or taller than a lot of men. You are meaningfully taller than the 5'10"-6'1" women. I could imagine a woman in that height range being quite attracted to you conceptually.

You might now even be rich enough to play the "rich older guy" card with some volleyball players/swimmers at the major university near where you live. An 18-19 year 5'11"-6'1" volleyball player could get into that. You could carve that persona.

You could also find some ex-college athlete gals who have stayed fit and possibly obtained breast implants post college.

You've got a great league. Enjoy it!

A good portion of the reason you were treated like shiit earlier is because you were dealing with shiit quality women and weren't selective enough in your overall strategy and you didn't use the right tactics to put the strategy into practice.

As @BackInTheGame78 mentioned, I think the only way to really tell if a woman is interested is if you've had a sexual experience with her AND she is still in contact with you. Even something like her having sex with you doesn't mean anything, I've heard stories of women going all the way after a first date and then the hamster wheel spins with thoughts like "I just had sex with him on the first date, he'll just think I'm easy and just want me for that and not want anything more, I'm so embarrassed.".
Yes, this is a good point and it can happen.

I learned a while ago to stop stressing myself out over stuff like this and unless a woman is actively going out of her way to pursue me I don't bother and put 0 effort in.
Few men have that luxury but you do. When a man is 6'4" and big muscles, there's a lot of potential for women to actively chase him.
 

MatureDJ

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I get that, but I don't get how we went from a great connection and really fun time and her saying we'll talk, to this
She was putting on a ruse - she was not attracted to you, and simply being cordial; I have done this many times myself when my date ends up having a lot more kg than what I saw in the photo. :mad: You have sent a follow-up message, and she has your number, so everything is up to her. In the meantime, SPIN MORE PLATES.
 

MatureDJ

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Few men have that luxury but you do. When a man is 6'4" and big muscles, there's a lot of potential for women to actively chase him.
What about for a man at 5'5" and big muscles? Let me guess ... :mad::mad::mad:
 

RobbyDog

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As far as waiting for her to reach out after the date; that's feminine behavior to me. We lead, they follow. If you don't contact them, they're going to assume you're not interested and start talking to someone else. Women are not going to do the work for you.
I tend to agree with this. Seems many here are too quick to NEXT a woman if she doesn’t start pursuing right away. Many women won’t put in much effort at first—they’re just as if not more afraid of rejection than men. A man reaching out after a few days certainly won’t be a dealbreaker. I think a lot of us put WAY too much stock into the timing of our communications with women. For a high IL woman it won’t really matter. I don’t think it hurts to under communicate sometimes in order to make her wonder/create good anxiety, but it’s not the be all and end all as some make it out to be. The key is to avoid needy/chasing type behaviour.
 
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SW15

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What about for a man at 5'5" and big muscles? Let me guess ... :mad::mad::mad:
Being 6'4" and having big muscles is an advantage. Being 5'5" and having big muscles is better than being 5'5" and not having big muscles. Big muscles are not going to overcome a height deficiency at 5'5".

@sangheilios is a top tier looking guy due to his 6'4" height and big muscles. 6'4" and big muscles is often the ticket to getting sex and getting sex fast from some of the best looking women.
 
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