Valentine's day and calling to set up a date.

Suave88

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There is a girl I want to ask out. Today is valentine's day and I want to call and set up a date for Saturday, February 19, 2022. The last time I called on January 27, 2022, she agreed to go out and hang out on Sunday, January 30, 2022, but she cancel last minute. I blamed myself for not giving her enough time, but I never admitted it or took responsibility for it. She PMed me a load of apologies on February 1rst, 2022 but I took a long time to react to it, acknowledge it, and start to chat with her. In fact, I never did and took about a whole week to react and reply. We have been PMing back and forward on Facebook for a week now. I want to ask her out, but I feel a little bit insecure. I don't want to come across as a wuss and corny, especially when she is not my girlfriend. I don't want her to take me for granted. What should you guys do if you were in my shoes?
1)call to set up a date or not?
2)call tomorrow instead?
 

Modern Man Advice

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There is a girl I want to ask out. Today is valentine's day and I want to call and set up a date for Saturday, February 19, 2022. The last time I called on January 27, 2022, she agreed to go out and hang out on Sunday, January 30, 2022, but she cancel last minute. I blamed myself for not giving her enough time, but I never admitted it or took responsibility for it. She PMed me a load of apologies on February 1rst, 2022 but I took a long time to react to it, acknowledge it, and start to chat with her. In fact, I never did and took about a whole week to react and reply. We have been PMing back and forward on Facebook for a week now. I want to ask her out, but I feel a little bit insecure. I don't want to come across as a wuss and corny, especially when she is not my girlfriend. I don't want her to take me for granted. What should you guys do if you were in my shoes?
1)call to set up a date or not?
2)call tomorrow instead?
Texting is fine when it is not prolonged. It, most times, plays against your odds of it ending up on an IRL date. For one, stop making the correlation between "Valentine's Day" (which is just an excuse for you spend money in restaurants, etc) and you asking her out.

You simply ask her out because you want to find out what she is about in person and create a connection. With that, stop. Stop overthinking, overanalyzing this. Simply do it! "Hey, I am going to get a bottle of wine and get a fire going this Sat if you want to join me" or what have you. Keep it simple (no dinner dates).

Lastly, stop apologizing or blaming yourself. She agreed to the date, if she was super into you she would cross oceans to see you. She canceled the last min. This is your call, but I have high standards. This literally just happened to me last week. She said, "I can't make it today, can we postpone?" I simply said "k" and deleted the conversation when she failed to give an alternative date/time. Moved on.

I simply do not have the time and energy (and know my worth enough) to convince women, or people in general, to be part of my life.

Hope this helps.


Modern Man Advice
 

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"I have a rare free evening on ______. Lets grab a drink at 7. Meet you there or pick you up? I am fine either way"

Thats basically all you have to do. If she dances around committing or worse.......commits and flakes again, never respond to her again.
 

AureliusMaximus

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she agreed to go out and hang out on Sunday, January 30, 2022, but she cancel last minute.
Like @Modern Man Advice said do not blame yourself. :up:;)

There is a very reason she did what she did, (rejected you that day), and if she was really into you she would never have canceled per see, (ye chicks are weird man). But the highly likely truth is that she got out with another dude than you which she really fancies and thus; got nailed and railed by him instead that night. :devil:

That is not your fault, but hers for not being honest and just telling you straight up that she has no interest in you, (They rarely do anyways, so you need to learn how to read the social cues). But chicks dig this game of keeping followers around.

Don't waste time chasing girls that are not into you. Actually don't chase girls at all. Girls should and will chase you if they do see you as a real prize. Chatting with her makes you just an additional dude feeding her craving for attention and being her emotional buddy tampon.

Use your time instead on those chicks that are really responsive to you.
 
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Suave88

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Texting is fine when it is not prolonged. It, most times, plays against your odds of it ending up on an IRL date. For one, stop making the correlation between "Valentine's Day" (which is just an excuse for you spend money in restaurants, etc) and you asking her out.

You simply ask her out because you want to find out what she is about in person and create a connection. With that, stop. Stop overthinking, overanalyzing this. Simply do it! "Hey, I am going to get a bottle of wine and get a fire going this Sat if you want to join me" or what have you. Keep it simple (no dinner dates).

Lastly, stop apologizing or blaming yourself. She agreed to the date, if she was super into you she would cross oceans to see you. She canceled the last min. This is your call, but I have high standards. This literally just happened to me last week. She said, "I can't make it today, can we postpone?" I simply said "k" and deleted the conversation when she failed to give an alternative date/time. Moved on.

I simply do not have the time and energy (and know my worth enough) to convince women, or people in general, to be part of my life.

Hope this helps.


Modern Man Advice
"Texting is fine when it is not prolonged. It, most times, plays against your odds of it ending up on an IRL date." I know this, it is a Fact.
For one, stop making the correlation between "Valentine's Day" (which is just an excuse for you spend money in restaurants, etc) and you ask her out. Asking her out equals spending money sooner or later.

"You simply ask her out because you want to find out what she is about in person and create a connection. With that, stop. Stop overthinking, overanalyzing this. Simply do it!" Why is it that everyone uses these cheese keywords here?????? "overthinking" and "overanalyzing"??????? "Hey, I am going to get a bottle of wine and get a fire going this Sat if you want to join me" or what have you. Keep it simple (no dinner dates)." I do not invate woman to my place, I am not hannibal lecter. Only, after having sex with them I do.

"Lastly, stop apologizing or blaming yourself." Hhhhuuuuhhh? when did I apologize????? I blame myself, but I never told her. We are supposed to give women time. The days to call are Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, do not call on Thursday and Friday and weekends. This is according to Antidump. I called her on Friday to set up a date for Sunday. This is not good. "She agreed to the date, if she was super into you she would cross oceans to see you. She canceled the last min." She had asked me to call her in the morning to confirm, but I did not do it until last minute.
"But what if she asks, “Sure i'd like to go, but could you call me that day a few hours before to confirm?" and the variances to that? Don Steele, the author of several dating books, decided to answer this,
say, "Maybe we should get together some other time instead when you're able to be more sure of your schedule." Cause if you let her do that, She's playin ya, taken you for granted, and looking for a way to blow-you off at the last minute...AND THAT SUX! Been there, done that." (Antidump Machine page 7)
If would have read the antidump machine before, I would have known she was about to cancel, and I would have cancel first.

According to her, She spent the night up. On Facebook, I was able to notice her status on messanger. She had gone to bed late, at 4:00 AM. When I called her, she said she had not slept the night and is tired and scare to drive, she added that the reason for her to be up all night was that she had to deal with her daugther going out to a party, and this caused her to be stressed out. I did not believe the daughter going out, but I do believe she was up until 4:00AM online, wasting her time and life. My opinion.

This is your call, but I have high standards. This literally just happened to me last week. She said, "I can't make it today, can we postpone?" I simply said "k" and deleted the conversation when she failed to give an alternative date/time. Moved on. She also said that she wanted to reschedule and asked me when I was back in town. First, she asked, "Can we do this later, can I reschedule, blah blah blah." She also asked me to call her sometime next week, which I did not do. I did not offer her an alternative. So I only talk to her for a couple of minutes and hung up while we were saying each other back and forward ok, ok, Her daughter came into her room and I heard them talking. So I hung up at that moment when she stopped talking to her daughter and restarted to talk to me. Then, on Tuesday, she PM me a load of apologies.

This is a good line here. "I simply do not have the time and energy (and know my worth enough) to convince women, or people in general, to be part of my life."

Well, thanks for your advice. You were the only one who replied on time, so I did not call her on Valentine. I called her this last Tuesday and something new come up.
 

Suave88

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Low interest. She flaked on the last date attempt. Invite her to your house to make you dinner. When she refuses just delete her.
Read my last post before jumping to conclusions.
 

AureliusMaximus

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hhhuuuuhhh? when did I apologize????? I blame myself, but I never told her. We are supposed to give women time. The days to call are Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, do not call on Thursday and Friday and weekends. This is according to Antidump. I called her on Friday to set up a date for Sunday. This is not good.
Dudebro...
Remember that it is you that asked the community and some guys here have way more experience than you have. Instead of going into full-fledged defense mode; maybe you should take the guys advice into account and maybe listen - even learn something from it?

We're here to help you, not to drag you down. But if you do not like the answers you receive from the community then why ask in the first place, right?

You know... It is often very easy to find the main error in some cases, you just need to localize a mirror and look into it...
 
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Suave88

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Here is a transcript of my first call after getting her number on January 26. I called her 1 day later on Friday of the same week. This is not good and is against the rules of Antidump machine. Nevertheless, there were Don Juans here encouraging me to call.

Rinnnnnggggggggggggggg………….

She: Hello

Ali G: Name, how you doing?

She: I’m doing good, who is this?

Ali G: Ali Gggg……

She: Hi Ali G…..

Ali G: The guy who been chatting with you on Facebook.

She: Yessss…..

Ali G: The one who said this and that.

She: Yesss…..

Ali G: What are you up to?

She: I’m at work right now.

Ali G: you kinna busy?

She: Yeahhhh, I’am really busy.

Ali G: Oh, I did not know that…..

Ali G: I’am on my way to X town to pic up some tools I left there.

She: Uhummmm

Ali G: On Sunday, can we hang out? (she lives in a town that is on my way to the other town I am actually traveling to)

She: Yeah, I see what I can do, yeah, that be really good.

Ali G: So yeah, maybe I can buy you some lunch or something.

She: Uhuuu Huhhh……..

Ali G: Ok…ahhh.. Whats your address?

She: Aaahhhh…give me a call right in the morning.

Ali G: Sunday in the morning?

She: huh… yeah

Ali G: Ok, I do that, this Sunday, I give you a call.

She Alright….

Ali G: Alright, bye

She: Bye

Ali G: Click

The time spent on setting this date was 1:06 minutes. Date: January 28,2022.
 

AureliusMaximus

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Sounds like you called your mom.. You didn't get her invested in the conversation and more of an interview than an actual call with a purpose.. It was boring and she checked out quick with an excuse that you call her next day. Also offering the dinner date is sort of a "no no" imo when you haven't even meet her. For the record if she was really into you she would have find a time by herself, even suggested a time to meet you same day or the next.

Next her. She's doesn't seem to be into you. Sorry mate.
 

Suave88

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Here is a transcript of my second call after setting my first date on January 28. This is when I got blown off.
Rinnnnnggggggggggggggg………….

She: Hello

Ali G: Hey, miss, how are you?

She: I’m…… Deadtire……

Ali G: What’s up????

She: I am deadtired…..

Ali G: What happened?

She: AAaahhh….stay up all night….my daughter, my child went to a party and…… I was stressed out all night long….

Ali G: Ohhh….****ttttt….

She: Yeahhh.

Ali G: Well, I am still have…like an hour…, you wanna go out or not???

She: huuummm……can we reschedule, who whennn huuunnnn whem are you….are you going to be back overhere any other time???

Ali G: Noooo……..

She: I haven’t slept all. rrrrrr

Ali G: No….no… no

She: Hooo man….

She: I haven’t slept honey and I don’t feel safe driving without sleep….

Ali G: Okey…

She: I am like…I….I literally just woke up within a few minutes ago

Ali G: Okey

She: Ok….I hate to reschedule..I have to….because I have had no slepp.

Ali G: Okeeeyyy..

She: Alrightttt????

Ali G: Alright.

Daughter jumped into the conversation and said who is that????

She: My friend Joe…..

She: Alright?????????

She: Call me some time……

Ali G: Click

The time spent on getting blown off was 1:15 minutes. Date: January 30,2022.

Keyword: friend. I do not like this word. She could have said" I am talking to Ali G or I am talking to some1"
 

Suave88

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Then, on Tuesday January 1 ,2022, she Facebook PMed me.
"Hey I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings the other day, but I had a really bad night with my kid that night. They really did some crazy stuff and I had to stay up to make sure they were okay. I was afraid I was going to have to drive all across town to go get them. So I hadn't slept at all when you called. I feel like crap that I wasn't able to hang out with you. I apologize if I offended you."
 

Suave88

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Then, on Tuesday January 1 ,2022, she double PMed me
"Hey"
In addition, she changed her picture for one where she has make up and her hair is done.
 

Suave88

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After 5 days I replied on Sunday January 6.
What's up?
 
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Suave88

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She replied the same day and even double texted me.
"Nothing really it's about time that I go to bed. It's been a long day kind of emotional but in a good way."
Double PM
"How about you are you okay are you doing good"
 

Suave88

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I then, replied on the 7th, the day after
Emotional?
 

Suave88

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She replied on the same day
"I got some really good newa"
"news"
2 days later I replied.
"Let me guess...........u are getting a free car, they're taking u to a local pub to ride the mechanical bull? which one?"
She "Lmao"

no
"My daughter's dad and his wife are letting me rent their house."
I answered
Well..... tht's comin at a price.
and then, she replied
Well it's still a blessing I mean of course if I live anywhere alone it's going to cost money but at least with this like I have a nice house and a nice area in a gated community for a decent price.
I did not comment about this anymore, so I changed the conversation, and I told her.
I like your new pic.
She replied,
Thanksalot
That's sweet.

So I asked her
What happened to your X?
She
My what face???
Lol, it was a piercing, Ali G.

I replied
"hmmmm, I feel tricked
:confused:
She
LOL
 
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