Need help dealing with a problem I've never had before

[RickTheToad]

10 hours? You must be marathon ****ing, most of the time its like 15-20 minutes, but frequent.



If that's the case why do you think this wasn't an issue in previous weekend where we would go way more than 5 times like in this instance?



Yeah I'm in great shape. I'm about 6ft 194lbs with between 10-13% body fat with a good heart. I 100% think it's psychological because I'm worried about it happening it again, so maybe the pills are a good option until you get my confidence back (however long that takes).

What I AM worried about is if the difference of me on the pills is so obvious that she realizes I'm taking something to be able to **** her. THAT would be arguably worse than going soft again, with her thinking I need this drug to be able to have sex. That is something I'm worried about. Have you yourself had this issue and followed the same solution you're recommending me?



I agree, like I said I think I just put pressure on myself to have enough sex with her when I do see her that it gets her through the week without me. I can slow down and focus on the foreplay but sometimes once I get her going she just wants to jump right into it.

As for the Cialis recommendation you made above, can you read what I responded to Dash Riprock with? That's something that does concern me a little bit...



Since seeing this girl I rarely, if ever masturbate during the week. I usually save my fluids for the weekend since I know we usually have quite a bit of sex (which may be the issue here). I am not overweight in the slightest. I am on a pretty strict diet involving eggs, oatmeal, rice, chicken, broccoli, and tuna. On the weekends I do cheat on this diet within reason so we can go out and enjoy things without being too particular. I don't eat processed foods otherwise. I have not checked my testosterone levels recently, haven't had a reason to, I use no PEDs and exercise regularly, and have not had any issues in the bedroom prior to these very recent, and less recent drunken events. No issues urinating ever, no STDS. I don't think I'm stressed, maybe just in those certain moments where I'm not certain I'm ready for sex again with the fear of going soft since it's now happened before. I exercise 5 days/week but I do not meditate or soak or anything outside of the hot tub every now and then.

As for the supplement, I take something with Magnesium and I BELIEVE Zinc, but I don't believe I have anything with folic acid. I don't believe my sperm and prostate is the issue, probably more of a mental block.



When I say mental issue, I think it's my insecurity due to this having happened before. I put pressure on myself, as mentioned, to have sex with this woman enough times when I do see her to make up for the time that I don't during the week. Sometimes we have arguments and fight but we usually make up and have sex later and that's always been fine without issue. So I think it's more of a lingering fear of "am I ready again?" or "what if I go soft?"

I am not otherwise depressed, taking any medications, or have anything that I would consider a mental disorder or issue.



Not completely sure what you're suggesting here, but I'm trying to increase my sex drive if anything. I don't even masturbate during the week anymore because I know I'll go plenty of rounds with my woman on the weekend.

Also I'd be curious to see what Black Widow Void and Barrister think of the drug recommendations made here to get my confidence back as a temporary fix. I don't know if there's a way to tag these users but I may message them if this doesn't reach them.

On a side note, I started doing some looking for Cialis. Looks like I'd need a prescription, and I'd be seeing my girl again this weekend...so I don't know if there's a realistic way for me to get this if that's what the recommendation is, at least until my confidence is back up.

Maybe you are just not attracted to her enough to get hard? You may want to also get your prostate checked just in case. Interesting username you picked, BPH. In medical terms, BPH stands for Benign prostatic hyperplasia, which can cause the issues you are experiencing. https://www.webmd.com/men/prostate-enlargement-bph/features/managing-sexual-concerns-if-you-have-bph

You should talk to a urologist or at least your primary doctor on these issues.

 

[BPH]

I'm thinking you're putting pressure on yourself. You know you're going to be there for three days and she's used to you being a super hero all the time. I don't know what the medical term is Performance anxiety maybe. Cut yourself some slack and don't bone so much.

I agree, I bolded the section there because I think that is in fact the term. I'll give it a shot, I looked into the drugs suggested by some of the guys here, and prescriptions are required so I don't think I'd be able to get them before I see her again this weekend anyway.

make sure to get enough sleep.

also, it's not all you, she is also in on this. one of the things some of the guys teach is that if you have a performance issue with a girl, you probably won't have the same issue with another girl. it's true and it's not all the fault of the guy, it's a compatibility thing. If you go out with another girl and you end up like a stallion, then what's the variable...

girl gives off vibe and chemicals that massively affect the libido of the guy. she can be telling yes and thinking yes, but her body is saying; nope. maybe being more dominant will help, but maybe not. if you notice the issue more during or around the ovulation time of the girl then it could be from her side. nothing to tell her about it, just know it's not you; directly...

if you're not already doing it, running and lifting.

That's one of the things that came to mind too. I thought maybe the fact that we recently had some fights and arguments might be impacting my confidence with her at times. Knowing that, I'm also trying to overcome this issue, if it even IS an issue and not just a one-off, because I do enjoy my relationship and want to keep going with it. That's why I came here looking for potential solutions.

I looked into the drug recommendations and I'd probably give them a shot to boost my confidence as a temporary fix, but the fact that I need a prescription, as mentioned, means I probably won't get a hold of them before I see her this weekend. Also I do run and lift, 4x week for weights and cardio, and a 5th time for just cardio.

one word - Dopamine

i find it incredibly difficult to become sexually stimulated now because my mind is constantly stimulated by artificial screens and other crap

So many men have this issue these days there is literally no other answer

Porn is of course a big big problem but extreme dopamine release in general society is causing major problems

Well that obviously doesn't sound great, but then what is your solution?

You're not 18-21 anymore

Yeah but I'm 27. That's still plenty young.

 

[BPH]

Maybe you are just not attracted to her enough to get hard? You may want to also get your prostate checked just in case. Interesting username you picked, BPH. In medical terms, BPH stands for Benign prostatic hyperplasia, which can cause the issues you are experiencing. https://www.webmd.com/men/prostate-enlargement-bph/features/managing-sexual-concerns-if-you-have-bph

You should talk to a urologist or at least your primary doctor on these issues.

Again, I can rule stuff like this and the testosterone out as the cause of the problem if really need be. I personally think it's the fear of it happening again coupled with the fact that we've had some fights and arguments recently. Regardless, I'm looking for solutions and so far it seems that the majority recommend reducing the sex and enjoying the foreplay and experience more, or getting a drug to boost my confidence for the time being.

Also BPH is my username because they are my initials.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Well that obviously doesn't sound great, but then what is your solution?

i wish i had one , you basically need to completely "log off" and reconnect with the real world

Its easier said than done with work , socialising , entertainment and romance now all available all on a screen

 

[BPH]

Well I'll be seeing her this weekend. Short of a last minute prescription I don't see myself getting any of the mentioned drugs for the confidence boost for the time being.

Any last minute advice or final tidbits here? Is it just slowing down and reducing the sex a little bit or should I take some sort of supplement to ensure I'll be good until my confidence is back up?

 

[BPH]

She got a car too? Too onesided.

OP the sex thing is mental. You got oneitis too.
Just being strait with you. This has NEXT written all over it. That phrase I just quoted is a precursor to a breakup. 6 months in.
Shes already shopping for your replacement and a better sex partner.
And for the love of god dont ever cry infront of your girl.

You just triggered biological responses you are going to pay for for the next year if you stay with her.

Personally I would breakup with her. Its the only way to get your frame back.

I assumed it was mental, I’m just wondering what the solution is since “just don’t think about it” is one of those easier said than done things.

That said, I’m not asking you to analyze my relationship. I drive to her because I live with my parents still and since she has her own place I PREFER to make the trip. Of course I have oneitis, I feel like that’s kinda expected when you commit to a relationship. If either of us decided to break up we’re both very attractive and wouldn’t have much trouble finding somebody new, but we treat each other well which is why we’re doing this.

Anyway, don’t wanna get too detailed but I hardly think breaking up with a girl I love is a necessary to “save my frame”. So far you’re the only reply on here with that extreme of a recommendation.

 

[The Duke]

Crying & ED is likely a tell tale sign of low t.

Alcohol is also a depressant which he did state he was drinking before the crying.

 

[Mike32ct]

Alcohol is also a depressant which he did state he was drinking before the crying.

Yeah. Alcohol plus lack of sleep (eg late night at the club) can definitely make somebody emotional.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

10 hours? You must be marathon ****ing, most of the time its like 15-20 minutes, but frequent.



If that's the case why do you think this wasn't an issue in previous weekend where we would go way more than 5 times like in this instance?



Yeah I'm in great shape. I'm about 6ft 194lbs with between 10-13% body fat with a good heart. I 100% think it's psychological because I'm worried about it happening it again, so maybe the pills are a good option until you get my confidence back (however long that takes).

What I AM worried about is if the difference of me on the pills is so obvious that she realizes I'm taking something to be able to **** her. THAT would be arguably worse than going soft again, with her thinking I need this drug to be able to have sex. That is something I'm worried about. Have you yourself had this issue and followed the same solution you're recommending me?



I agree, like I said I think I just put pressure on myself to have enough sex with her when I do see her that it gets her through the week without me. I can slow down and focus on the foreplay but sometimes once I get her going she just wants to jump right into it.

As for the Cialis recommendation you made above, can you read what I responded to Dash Riprock with? That's something that does concern me a little bit...



Since seeing this girl I rarely, if ever masturbate during the week. I usually save my fluids for the weekend since I know we usually have quite a bit of sex (which may be the issue here). I am not overweight in the slightest. I am on a pretty strict diet involving eggs, oatmeal, rice, chicken, broccoli, and tuna. On the weekends I do cheat on this diet within reason so we can go out and enjoy things without being too particular. I don't eat processed foods otherwise. I have not checked my testosterone levels recently, haven't had a reason to, I use no PEDs and exercise regularly, and have not had any issues in the bedroom prior to these very recent, and less recent drunken events. No issues urinating ever, no STDS. I don't think I'm stressed, maybe just in those certain moments where I'm not certain I'm ready for sex again with the fear of going soft since it's now happened before. I exercise 5 days/week but I do not meditate or soak or anything outside of the hot tub every now and then.

As for the supplement, I take something with Magnesium and I BELIEVE Zinc, but I don't believe I have anything with folic acid. I don't believe my sperm and prostate is the issue, probably more of a mental block.



When I say mental issue, I think it's my insecurity due to this having happened before. I put pressure on myself, as mentioned, to have sex with this woman enough times when I do see her to make up for the time that I don't during the week. Sometimes we have arguments and fight but we usually make up and have sex later and that's always been fine without issue. So I think it's more of a lingering fear of "am I ready again?" or "what if I go soft?"

I am not otherwise depressed, taking any medications, or have anything that I would consider a mental disorder or issue.



Not completely sure what you're suggesting here, but I'm trying to increase my sex drive if anything. I don't even masturbate during the week anymore because I know I'll go plenty of rounds with my woman on the weekend.

Also I'd be curious to see what Black Widow Void and Barrister think of the drug recommendations made here to get my confidence back as a temporary fix. I don't know if there's a way to tag these users but I may message them if this doesn't reach them.

On a side note, I started doing some looking for Cialis. Looks like I'd need a prescription, and I'd be seeing my girl again this weekend...so I don't know if there's a realistic way for me to get this if that's what the recommendation is, at least until my confidence is back up.

I've heard covid affects T. I saw something about this but it was a contradiction.

It said low T. Typically that would be a sedentary slob. Articles argued high T too. Sounds made up and written by a feminist.

Seek medical help. Can't help or offer anything on low to or ed. Still pimping.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Alcohol is also a depressant which he did state he was drinking before the crying.

Still sounds low T. I cannot offer any MD advice. Likely best to seek a doctor.

 

[typical]

Oneitis and Low T bro. Also arguing with ED is another sign you're in denial.

You're 27 now, so each year your test levels will decrease. Also unless you're a gym freak and working out 4-6 times a week then your metabolism is going to slow down and you will start to feel lethargic and tired after heavy meals. You're not 18 anymore with a permanent hardon.

Also 15-20 minute sex sessions 10-20 times over a weekend is too frequent and not long enough to satisfy most women. 20 mins should be warmup time then take your time and vary your pace and you should last 45 mins or more. At 27 your sexual skills should be giving her at least 3-5 orgasms each hour, once you can achieve this ANY woman is putty in your hands and will be tapping out after a few hours with you.

You're still behaving like a sex starved teenager and trying to get that Dopamine hit from sex, so it sounds like jack hammer sex, wham bam thankyou ma'am. Slow down relax you have all the time in the world enjoy her body slowly tease her man.

Also cut out all forms of "pornographic" or "partial" nude forms of entertainment. Cut it all out and refrain from having a wank while watching any porn. Hit the gym clean up the diet, drink less crappy alcohol and again start to purchase higher quality liquor and enjoy it slowly once a week and no more. Get full bloodwork done and get your test levels and sperm count checked. Also see a shrink just incase there's something else at play.

Also take time off just to be by yourself and do something productive yet light and stimulating. Go to a beach or park and read a book under some shade. Could be stress.

Good Luck