jnMissouri
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Nov 2, 2014
- Messages
- 793
- Reaction score
- 322
You know that women test for strength, we men test for compliance. I got compliance from her, she got strength from me.
So we have established boundaries which she is following, such as no hanging out with other men even in a group setting such as networking events, etc. Once in a while she will bring up some ridiculous scenario that agitates me and asks me what about if I do this. Last night it was, what if I want to go out to dinner with my friend Kim and her husband, is that allowed? I told her no, we already talked about this before, if there is another guy there and I don't go, she doesn't go.
She said but what if she wants to talk to Kim about something and she doesn't want me to hear it. (Her friend Kim and her husband know of me and that I'm her boyfriend). I said that's something she can do over the phone, why would it be ok for her friends husband to hear something about her but not me? She said but we've always hung out together as a group, etc. I told her that was when she was single and she is not single now, she can go to dinner with her friend Kim alone but if her husband is there I either be there or she doesn't go like we've agreed to many times about boundaries. She said but you told me before you have a life and don't want to always go to such things. I told her yeah, but you didn't even invite me in this scenario. You just immediately come up with hanging out with them without me because you want to talk to her and don't want me to hear it, something you can do on the phone with her or alone with her, I told her it's a ridiculous scenario with BS excuses as to why she has to go alone just to agitate me. I reiterated my expectations that if there is another man there I either go or she doesn't go. I asked her if that was clear otherwise I was hanging up and she said yes. I asked her twice, both times she agreed.
So I kept getting upset at the scenario, as she should know better than that. So I'm getting louder and more vulgar, so she said if I keep pushing her let's end it. I told ok go for it, hang up and don't call me anymore. I said it over and over again (all night I couldn't get her to do it) but suddenly she did hang up (I hung up on her earlier that night too). So I texted her and told her to bring me my house keys back tomorrow and to let me know for sure it's over before I go bang another girl. She said I'll bring your stuff tomorrow and go for it with others, sorry I couldn't make you happy.
So I call her and she answers (despite hanging up on me a few minutes earlier and she even answered when I called her after I hung up on HER earlier). I told her I want my stuff back tonight. She said oh it's icy I don't want you to drive in these conditions. I told her no I want it back tonight. Somehow we got back on the topic of the scenario and 1) she said I was the one that said let's end it not her, she didn't want to break up and 2) she said it's a misunderstanding, in the past when she was single and she hung out with her friend, her friends husband always joined so she wasn't sure how to handle that if he showed up and wanted to see if I was ok with that, she said he is a 70 year old man, etc. (true, I've seen him on facebook). I told her that's a simple problem to solve, when you want to hang out with her you tell her it's just the girls, no guys, we leave the guys at home for this one. If her husband is there we go out as a group. I asked her again if this was clear. She said yes. I mentioned it again and asked her if she had any issues with it to tell me because I don't want to be with her if she does, telling her I expect her to follow my boundaries even in this situation. Again I asked her if my expectations are clear about the boundaries and following them. She said she doesn't have a choice (as in, she must do what I want her to do if she wants to keep me). So then we make up and make plans for the next day as if nothing ever happened....
My friends and I all feel this was a test to see if I buckle and show weakness and bend to her. Otherwise why the ridiculous scenario that was completely illogical and designed to push my buttons. Otherwise why agree to abide by my boundaries still even in this scenario after I asked her to repeatedly otherwise I'm done. Why answer my call when I call her back, why did she tell me she wasn't the one that wanted to break up I did and why comply 100% especially at the end and tell me she has no choice but to do what I ask her to do in this scenario...
She likes masculine men. Her father was dominant and abused her mother apparently. She has told me before she doesn't like feminine men when I've pointed out well dressed but girly looking men. I take it she would have lost attraction for me if I had given into her?
Also, am I don't think I'm being unreasonable about this. If she is going out to dinner with them, her boyfriend needs to be there, she is not single and has no reason to go hang out with her friend and her husband without me. No he's not a threat, I even let her keep her friends husbands number in her phone, her friend knows she has her husbands number, the guy is 70. She sometimes likes to talk to her husband about a guys perspective. I wasn't worried about that. But my boundaries are clear: if there is another man there, she doesn't go without me....
So we have established boundaries which she is following, such as no hanging out with other men even in a group setting such as networking events, etc. Once in a while she will bring up some ridiculous scenario that agitates me and asks me what about if I do this. Last night it was, what if I want to go out to dinner with my friend Kim and her husband, is that allowed? I told her no, we already talked about this before, if there is another guy there and I don't go, she doesn't go.
She said but what if she wants to talk to Kim about something and she doesn't want me to hear it. (Her friend Kim and her husband know of me and that I'm her boyfriend). I said that's something she can do over the phone, why would it be ok for her friends husband to hear something about her but not me? She said but we've always hung out together as a group, etc. I told her that was when she was single and she is not single now, she can go to dinner with her friend Kim alone but if her husband is there I either be there or she doesn't go like we've agreed to many times about boundaries. She said but you told me before you have a life and don't want to always go to such things. I told her yeah, but you didn't even invite me in this scenario. You just immediately come up with hanging out with them without me because you want to talk to her and don't want me to hear it, something you can do on the phone with her or alone with her, I told her it's a ridiculous scenario with BS excuses as to why she has to go alone just to agitate me. I reiterated my expectations that if there is another man there I either go or she doesn't go. I asked her if that was clear otherwise I was hanging up and she said yes. I asked her twice, both times she agreed.
So I kept getting upset at the scenario, as she should know better than that. So I'm getting louder and more vulgar, so she said if I keep pushing her let's end it. I told ok go for it, hang up and don't call me anymore. I said it over and over again (all night I couldn't get her to do it) but suddenly she did hang up (I hung up on her earlier that night too). So I texted her and told her to bring me my house keys back tomorrow and to let me know for sure it's over before I go bang another girl. She said I'll bring your stuff tomorrow and go for it with others, sorry I couldn't make you happy.
So I call her and she answers (despite hanging up on me a few minutes earlier and she even answered when I called her after I hung up on HER earlier). I told her I want my stuff back tonight. She said oh it's icy I don't want you to drive in these conditions. I told her no I want it back tonight. Somehow we got back on the topic of the scenario and 1) she said I was the one that said let's end it not her, she didn't want to break up and 2) she said it's a misunderstanding, in the past when she was single and she hung out with her friend, her friends husband always joined so she wasn't sure how to handle that if he showed up and wanted to see if I was ok with that, she said he is a 70 year old man, etc. (true, I've seen him on facebook). I told her that's a simple problem to solve, when you want to hang out with her you tell her it's just the girls, no guys, we leave the guys at home for this one. If her husband is there we go out as a group. I asked her again if this was clear. She said yes. I mentioned it again and asked her if she had any issues with it to tell me because I don't want to be with her if she does, telling her I expect her to follow my boundaries even in this situation. Again I asked her if my expectations are clear about the boundaries and following them. She said she doesn't have a choice (as in, she must do what I want her to do if she wants to keep me). So then we make up and make plans for the next day as if nothing ever happened....
My friends and I all feel this was a test to see if I buckle and show weakness and bend to her. Otherwise why the ridiculous scenario that was completely illogical and designed to push my buttons. Otherwise why agree to abide by my boundaries still even in this scenario after I asked her to repeatedly otherwise I'm done. Why answer my call when I call her back, why did she tell me she wasn't the one that wanted to break up I did and why comply 100% especially at the end and tell me she has no choice but to do what I ask her to do in this scenario...
She likes masculine men. Her father was dominant and abused her mother apparently. She has told me before she doesn't like feminine men when I've pointed out well dressed but girly looking men. I take it she would have lost attraction for me if I had given into her?
Also, am I don't think I'm being unreasonable about this. If she is going out to dinner with them, her boyfriend needs to be there, she is not single and has no reason to go hang out with her friend and her husband without me. No he's not a threat, I even let her keep her friends husbands number in her phone, her friend knows she has her husbands number, the guy is 70. She sometimes likes to talk to her husband about a guys perspective. I wasn't worried about that. But my boundaries are clear: if there is another man there, she doesn't go without me....
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