Power dynamic when talking to girls in online dating

[SargeMaximus]

Yeah, fvck that. Life is too short to put this kinda effort into women. It's just another form of simping, the act of going against your true self for a woman.


If you feel yourself having to carry the conversation and make most of the effort to do anything then she's just not that interested in you, simple as that. Do with that as you want.


Fvck going online for women, you won't find the type of woman you actually desire there.

Agree with the first two but not the last one

 

[SmoothSmooth]

There are natural laws at play
Women chase alpha males (dominant, successful men). They identify these men by their behaviour in real life - posture, voice, confidence, aura, indifference, social proof, even scent etc and then make it VERY easy for them to mate (ie by being submissive and vulnerable). This is the power dynamic OP is referring to. When the girl is giggling at your bad jokes, asking for your help, placing herself in your orbit, putting more effort into the convo etc

Things like street approaching, online dating, DM sliding, even chivalry etc are all attempts by non dominant men to reverse the natural law and make men the selectors. That’s why they rarely ever work. Women have their guard up, act flakey, sh1t test hard, etc these tactics will mainly work (if ever) on women who lack the confidence to chase alpha males

 

[firstbornunicorn]

If you want dimes, you gotta have high res popping photos that showcase an interesting effortless life.

Wrong.

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

Not really…it’s like saying ‘is a millionaire handsome guy going to marry a girl he hooked up at a yatch party’…the answer is pretty much no in 99% of cases. It’s just a matter of understanding the social dynamics at play. There’s a right way of doing things, based on your goal. But hey; you can keep searching for that 1 in 1000 hot 21 year old girl that’s looking for a date online, and then hope to outcompete the 3000 guys she matches with for that date, and once you get the number, hope she doesn’t flake on you for the guy she’s crushing on at the gym/class/bar, and then hope she’s got a normal personality too. ‘Keep believing’ bro.

I’ll take the other route and let her compete for me whilst I’m out and about. I’ll qualify her and challenge her in person and easily standout from the 3000 men hiding behind their phones

OLD does not exist to help men get hotter girls than they normally would in real life. It exists to make a profit from desperate men who ‘keep believing’.

Regarding social media…Why do you guys think many IG models will have 30,000 followers but only follow back 400 people in total, most of which are women? Most girls aren’t using IG for men…they need to feel your aura, hear your voice, scope how you carry yourself to be attracted

Following models lol please.
It's almost as if you're responding to someone else entirely. Maybe you should read my posts again, or three times. I'll state it one last time, the amount of effort I put in OLD is next to zero, and yet occasionally I get a 10 from simply being present. I don't even bother with swipe apps, I would rather look at my phone for literally anything else. Something like a fet profile doesn't require swiping, it just exists and whoever is interested reaches out. I don't pine, hope, and pray as your first paragraph states. I have no expectations and yet it's happened repeatedly. I've responded to messages with 'can I help you?', I've ignored messages for months, only to have women respond instantly with more submission and respect. I've posted on forums about solo travel, only to have 18-22 year olds reach out asking to come along (ironic right?) and come through. You seem to read only what you want to read, because you're constructing a strawman for the second time. Apparently my reality simply can't exist for you, you refuse it outright. Fortunately that's not my problem. If you don't believe what I'm writing, what point is there for me to write anything to you?

Everything you're saying about OLD is true for most men that have no idea how to manage their time effectively with women online. They grow frustrated and jaded, as you and your friends have, because they sink an egregious amount of time into something that should be entirely passive. IRL is my main fling, OLD is an optional cherry on top that has it's own unique benefits. OLD allows for an insane amount of efficiency that IRL doesn't. Maybe it's not for you, because you and others in this thread seem sour about the returns on your clearly painful amount of effort. For example the good photos I use were taken anyway, for a completely different purpose. I have notifications disabled. I ignore most messages (because most are low effort). The apps I interact with women frequently on aren't marketed as dating apps, sexual tension manifests as a byproduct of working on a skill together, which is what I'm more interested in anyway. Sometimes I forget to check my networks for weeks, I'm busy. I think I spent all of 5 min to setup my profiles? All this culminates to time flying as women peruse my profile, meanwhile I'm off doing something I enjoy or only talking to them about the skills I'm interested in improving.

Again everything you've said is true (except that 10s online are impossible, that's really my only objection). The only thing I'm doing that you aren't is valuing my time much more. It's effortless because my goals are different than yours, not because I'm bending the fabric of OLD dynamics as you've inferred. I don't even act on IOIs unless I'm convinced an attractive woman is dying to worship me sexually. Sure I miss out on laying some 7s, but that's a testament to my standards; not sure how you see having high ones as something bad. I don't sit there staring at the screen waiting for messages, or god forbid swipe. Fill your life with abundance and women will seemingly plop onto your lap because you've created the conditions for it to happen effortlessly.

Unless you have a legit question I'm not entertaining this conversation further lol.

Wrong.

Hm yea, women love those potato quality bathroom selfies. Behold the difference focal length makes alone,

 

[biggoal]

While most women don't last long when they make an OLD profile, what does it say when time to time you see an HB7 on up women on a OLD site for literally like 3 years everyday?

 

[firstbornunicorn]

Hm yea, women love those potato quality bathroom selfies. Behold the difference focal length makes alone,

Who said anything about bathroom selfies? Authentic photos taken by friends are gold dude. But for that you need authenticity and friends, which you don't have, so I understand the resistance.

That's not focal length that does that, it's distance to the subject.

 

[Zimbabwe]

I match with some straight hotties on OLD…but rarely get a date. The problem is you’re getting 20-30 matches a day but any woman who’s a 7+ is getting 200-300. Imagine being in their shoes: unless the guy is pushing her turns on buttons with every message she simply has too many options, and might just forget.

Hard to win in the OLD environment either way because it’s built for women. They can play in your face, waste time, fish for your compliments (especially if you’re a good lookin guy) then just swipe left and not have to suffer consequences. Chicks will match with you already knowing they’re not going out with you, not ****ing you or hell maybe not even replying to you. Some even have boyfriends and do OLD because they’re looking for they’re next but just haven’t broken up with the dude yet. I know some women who keep they’re OLD profiles active just so they can match with guys who will offer free dates. Or they’ll post their IG info in the OLD dating profile just to entice guys to follow them and simp for attention in the dms. The bs reasons are plentiful.

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

Who said anything about bathroom selfies? Authentic photos taken by friends are gold dude. But for that you need authenticity and friends, which you don't have, so I understand the resistance.

Well all you said was 'wrong' and quoted my line about having high quality photos, the opposite imo being grainy bathroom selfies. You can't force a man's respect by attempting to undermine him; that only shows you find him a threat. I'm flattered, but I have no reason to spite you, or anyone else in this thread. You'll have to try much much harder if you want to get under my skin.

That's not focal length that does that, it's distance to the subject.

The measurements you see changing in the gif, notated in mm, are focal length. Longer focal length increases magnification and creates a narrower angle of view, and vice versa. All of those shots are taken at the same distance. Speaking of authenticity, it doesn't pay to try and pretend you know what you're talking about when you don't. Love it or hate it, it's my duty as your fellow man to call you out on your bs.

 

[biggoal]

I match with some straight hotties on OLD…but rarely get a date. The problem is you’re getting 20-30 matches a day but any woman who’s a 7+ is getting 200-300. Imagine being in their shoes: unless the guy is pushing her turns on buttons with every message she simply has too many options, and might just forget.

Hard to win in the OLD environment either way because it’s built for women. They can play in your face, waste time, fish for your compliments (especially if you’re a good lookin guy) then just swipe left and not have to suffer consequences. Chicks will match with you already knowing they’re not going out with you, not ****ing you or hell maybe not even replying to you. Some even have boyfriends and do OLD because they’re looking for they’re next but just haven’t broken up with the dude yet. I know some women who keep they’re OLD profiles active just so they can match with guys who will offer free dates. Or they’ll post their IG info in the OLD dating profile just to entice guys to follow them and simp for attention in the dms. The bs reasons are plentiful.

Do you ever get matches that will reply but eventually ghost and quit talking?

 

[firstbornunicorn]

The measurements you see changing in the gif, notated in mm, are focal length. Longer focal length increases magnification and creates a narrower angle of view, and vice versa. All of those shots are taken at the same distance. Speaking of authenticity, it doesn't pay to try and pretend you know what you're talking about when you don't. Love it or hate it, it's my duty as your fellow man to call you out on your bs.

The measurements are focal length. The changes in the face are due to distance, not focal length.

Those shots are NOT taken at the same distance.

The things that change between the photos are the focal length and distance, the changes in the face are due to the distance. I'm a portrait photographer for 5+ years and 10+ in sports and landscapes, but that alone isn't a reason to trust me on this. But you can always try it for yourself if you have the gear.

Same distance with 16mm, 24mm or 200mm will have the face looking the same, with of course a big difference in what's in the frame. But if you were to crop to have the face fill the frame on both photos you'd have a picture that looks the same.

 

[Zimbabwe]

Do you ever get matches that will reply but eventually ghost and quit talking?

The straw that broke the camels back was when Girls messaged first, but would still ghost me for no reason.

I legitimately believe 90% of women on OLD are Autistic to some degree, normal people don't behave like this.

 

[Mike32ct]

Do you ever get matches that will reply but eventually ghost and quit talking?

Yes. They simply can’t (or don’t want to) keep up with the multiple conversations they have going with guys. They will let many fall through the cracks.

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

The measurements are focal length. The changes in the face are due to distance, not focal length.

Those shots are NOT taken at the same distance.

The things that change between the photos are the focal length and distance, the changes in the face are due to the distance. I'm a portrait photographer for 5+ years and 10+ in sports and landscapes, but that alone isn't a reason to trust me on this. But you can always try it for yourself if you have the gear.

Same distance with 16mm, 24mm or 200mm will have the face looking the same, with of course a big difference in what's in the frame. But if you were to crop to have the face fill the frame on both photos you'd have a picture that looks the same.

Wait you're right, the crop would make them the same. I appreciate the correction, focal length AND distance were changed. The point stands that there are techniques for more attractive photos, and the difference between high and low quality can make or break a match when most people have a 5 second attention span.

 

[Bingo-Player]

i dont get why you older guys always suggest meeting girls through in person.

EVERY single girl is on social media. so that means the decent women and the bad women.

people do not cold approach in my generation. it is weird unless ur in a club. instagram is the best and main way.

i just need to figure out how to cold DM a girl and then get her to be feminine/submissive/simp for me even tho im the one who messaged her in the first place

First off you must understand most people have a real life persona and an online persona

The online persona is usually often a load of nonsense cobbled together with bravado unrealistic expectations and self perception this persona extends across social media , swipe apps OLD and soon the "metaverse"

Its not people don't approach in your generation , its people full stop they just don't know how to cold approach anymore

That provides a unique advantage though

for decades men have had too do all manner of brave things to get the attention of the pretty female that is just the way the world works men pursue the female and the female should submiss to the male

Online interactions have screwed this up because you don't really need to be brave to like a picture or drop her a message you just need an online account

What this does is create abundance and disposability for women who now have next to unlimited options to chose from none of which she is really satisfied with because deep down she knows she is cheating using a fake digital allure of filters and edits instead of her natural allure

At the same time men are cheating themselves out of their male dominance by faking confidence online

You have to understand online anyone can be thrown away at the click of a button , there is unlimited options for everyone but 99% of the will never amount to anything more than that temporary digital interaction

You end up with a lot of very confused and very unsatisfied people

This is why real world interactions with women are so so important , when you approach her in real life she knows you are the real mccoy she knows you have balls and she knows she naturally needs to submiss to such courage

You can't just be deleted

 

[biggoal]

The straw that broke the camels back was when Girls messaged first, but would still ghost me for no reason.

I legitimately believe 90% of women on OLD are Autistic to some degree, normal people don't behave like this.

They seem to have gotten worse since Covid on OLD though based on reading this forum. OLD has sucked for a few years, however since Covid there is less women on OLD but they act a lot more like you described them in your post. It's likely since you got more fatties, you have tons of men bombarding them as you mentioned so their attention span is shorter. Then many of them just end up deleting their account when it becomes to overwhelming for them.

 

[EyeBRollin]

I had nothing but success with online dating.

 

[Genetic Error]

I had nothing but success with online dating.

top 20% genetics then. i dont have this luxury hence the name

 

[EyeBRollin]

top 20% genetics then. i dont have this luxury hence the name

Idk man.. I’m short, bald, and black

 

[biggoal]

Idk man.. I’m short, bald, and black

True, but a lot of women like black men though. There seems to be a subset of decent looking women who like black and hispanic men over white men.

But location means everything with OLD. Maybe you're in a major metro area with good demographics of women under 40.

 

[EyeBRollin]

But location means everything with OLD. Maybe you're in a major metro area with good demographics of women under 40.

Yes, I’m in NYC metro. Best place in the world for OLD.