Why do I not find my wife attractive?

[AureliusMaximus]

This is what this feels like.
Why on earth did you give your ultimate, life changing commitment to a woman who didn't meet your basic needs? Because sex is a basic need for all men.

Simp 2.0?

 

[AureliusMaximus]

she is trying hard to convince me to stay with her. Trying to convince me that love does not necessarily equal sex.

The only reason women and men connect and interact is primarily because of sex. trying claim anything else is simply being delirious.

Women and men are very different and we do not naturally have the same interests so without sex there would be no reason to interact with each other..

Women sit down and talk and share their feelings, create drama (which creates more feelings) and this is way they bond with each other and form relationships. They are less logical beings and very much the prisoners of their social life.

We guys we do fun shi't together like playing football, basketball or riding mountain bikes (or whatever)and bond that way.
Less talking, more doing. We do not sit around and share out feelings because we are rational logical beings and emotions means less to us.

Give me one reason we would talk to women if it wasn't for the sex?
(No need to answer that because we all already know it).

 

[Plinco]

Simp 2.0?

I'm not a simp, I made a stupid decision

 

[rockeyyyadav]

I don't find my wife sexually attractive. Been married for over a year and have not had sex, not because she didn't want it, but because I did not want to do it with her. There's nothing wrong with the way she looks, but she does not have any confidence in the way she looks (body issues) and I think this is the root of it.
Here are some observations:

Observations of what and possibly why I am attracted to:

• Strong, but submissive libidos. Or they may be aggressive and sexualized, but the relationship does not last long.
• Brunettes who appear to be “smarter and healthier” maybe appear more confident and high energy.
• They have been mostly young, but some are in their 30’s. Most have been brunettes, but some blondes.
• Young, pretty, and confident, but also submissive in bed.
• Girls who appear to be high maintenance. Perhaps as a sign of high value, high confidence (respect ~ sex).
• I look at obtaining women as a symptom of self-improvement, and if I stay with her, then I will not self-improve (?)

Observations of my relationship with her, and possible causes:

• She is socially awkward and has body image issues, the girls I was with before didn’t have that problem.
• The relationship makes demands from me that I view as aggressive toward me, such as getting emotionally involved, to slow down, giving into demands that are not a part of my goals. She is emotionally involved because she cares more about me, which I am not used to.
• She is boring when she talks to me. Probably because she sits at home all day, and has few friends.
• During attempted sex, she does not feel aroused enough by my actions. Probably because I don’t act in a way that I find her attractive.

Possible root causes:

My libido draws from my core values, but does not match with my expected values, that is, living aggressively. My libido corresponds with my ambitions.



I have to see her as sexualized (confident with her body), submissive in bed, not getting in my way. I expect a woman to be turned on sexually by me being aggressive.

thank for give some information

 

[jimwho]

Give me one reason we would talk to women if it wasn't for the sex?
(No need to answer that because we all already know it).

There's the whole making of the sandwich thing....

 

[Plinco]

Why did you marry her in the first place?

You only been married for only a year - you must have ignored some pretty big red flags and still married her even though you knew you were not really sexually attracted to her, right?

Because she met a 'redpill' checklist, plus I've never thought that I would not be sexually attracted to a decent looking woman. As it turns out, I've learned that I (a) need high energy woman (women)

 

[Plinco]

The only reason women and men connect and interact is primarily because of sex. trying claim anything else is simply being delirious.

Women and men are very different and we do not naturally have the same interests so without sex there would be no reason to interact with each other..

Women sit down and talk and share their feelings, create drama (which creates more feelings) and this is way they bond with each other and form relationships. They are less logical beings and very much the prisoners of their social life.

We guys we do fun shi't together like playing football, basketball or riding mountain bikes (or whatever)and bond that way.
Less talking, more doing. We do not sit around and share out feelings because we are rational logical beings and emotions means less to us.

Yeah, her and my family are all trying to pressure me to stay with her, which in itself is a major red flag since most of my family are idiots.

Give me one reason we would talk to women if it wasn't for the sex?
(No need to answer that because we all already know it).

making money?

 

[AureliusMaximus]

Because she met a 'redpill' checklist

You should have checked your di´ck list first mate and listened to what it told you. xD

Like Eddie Murthy said in raw. Let your d'ick guide you and be the priory one. The d'ick radar never lies lol
Happy di'ck, happy life.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

making money?

Like how?
Men built this world and invented it and women just use it enjoy the life pleasures of it that men created.

Women are not interested in that.
Take away all men and now imagine women work in the coal and iron mines, or them working in the steel mill factories. It would never happen mate.

If it wasn't for us men, women would still be living in caves bickering, creating drama and sharing their feelings about how hard their life is (without men).

A prime example of this in display is the TV series "survivor".
The guys get their camp up and running within a few hours and very fast starts to enjoy a quite comfortable life while the women three days later still are fighting over petty things and have basically accomplished very little. They even end up coming over to the guys begging for their resources and attempting to stay in the guys camp.

Women are nothing without us guys and they are certainly not leaders, nor inventors and builders of this world. They need us for their survival. But ironically we do absolutely do not need them.
Remember this guys. It is one of our super powers over them.

To sum this up in one YouTube comment (from that video above), just for the fun of it:

 

[Plinco]

Like how?
Men built this world and invented it and women just use it enjoy the life pleasures of it that men created.

Women are not interested in that.
Take away all men and now imagine women work in the coal and iron mines, or them working in the steel mill factories. It would never happen mate.

If it wasn't for us men, women would still be living in caves bickering, creating drama and sharing their feelings about how hard their life is (without men).

A prime example of this in display is the TV series "survivor".
The guys get their camp up and running within a few hours and very fast starts to enjoy a quite comfortable life while the women three days later still are fighting over petty things and have basically accomplished very little. They even end up coming over to the guys begging for their resources and attempting to stay in the guys camp.

Women are nothing without us guys and they are certainly not leaders, nor inventors and builders of this world. They need us for their survival. But ironically we do absolutely do not need them.
Remember this guys. It is one of our super powers over them.

To sum this up in one YouTube comment (from that video above), just for the fun of it:
View attachment 7196

I have some female customers that makes me money. Some are old ladies, and no, I don't want to have sex with them

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

I applaud your transparency @Plinco

 

[Plinco]

I applaud your transparency @Plinco

I appreciate you reading my thread

 

[Plinco]

So here's another way to put it:

I've digested a lot of "blackpill" info and forced myself to comment to a girl who was a virgin with low self-esteem without considering whether or not I am attracted to her physically. She is doing all sorts of nice things for me because I am inadvertently playing the dread game with her because she knows that I am not physically attracted to her.

 

[metalwater]

So here's another way to put it:

I've digested a lot of "blackpill" info and forced myself to comment to a girl who was a virgin with low self-esteem without considering whether or not I am attracted to her physically. She is doing all sorts of nice things for me because I am inadvertently playing the dread game with her because she knows that I am not physically attracted to her.

as you are still working on this after some time maybe you want to look at other ways to solve it. I don't mean it as sarcastic at all, it is only that you seem to want to solve this in a positive way and have tried many other things. getting different results is about trying different things.

Why do I not find my wife attractive?

Are you from some specific religion or something... I just read the last pile of pages. Dude, there is a huge chunk of missing story here that you're not telling us. Is she Asian, anyway she looks like a nice girl. I bet she looks better with makeup. Stick her in D.VA's uniform. Change it up a...

www.sosuave.net

if you have not tried it ever, you might be able to achieve an energy relationship that leads to good sex by looking spiritually instead of only physical lust. If you could do it, it would be a very awesome setup, it would be as good as it could possibly be. The only issue would be that it puts you into a vulnerable position if she is not really what you think she is.

If you don't have better choices and still want a solution, maybe it's worth a try.

 

[Stoic]

So here's another way to put it:

I've digested a lot of "blackpill" info and forced myself to comment to a girl who was a virgin with low self-esteem without considering whether or not I am attracted to her physically. She is doing all sorts of nice things for me because I am inadvertently playing the dread game with her because she knows that I am not physically attracted to her.

Actually feel for your wife in this one.

It sounds like she did nothing wrong here. It's not her fault that you're not attracted to her. But it is your fault that you married her despite not being physically attracted to the woman.

I just would do your best not to farther mentally damage her on the way out of the marriage.

Anyway best of luck man.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Because she met a 'redpill' checklist, plus I've never thought that I would not be sexually attracted to a decent looking woman. As it turns out, I've learned that I (a) need high energy woman (women)

This is a good example of why checklists don't work. You can't be entirely calculating and pragmatic when choosing a romantic partner. Sure, a degree of pragmatism is important but there also has to be an emotional connection. Us men like to think of ourselves as being less emotional than women and, in a general sense, that is probably true. However, that does not render emotion completely irrelevant.

On a fundamental level, choosing a romantic partner for a serious relationship is a two step process. One, there has to be "chemistry", for lack of a better word. You must find her attractive and you must also like being around her. Then, and only then, do you start looking at objective criteria, which may result in eliminating someone you are attracted to for pragmatic reasons. But you don't skip step one and go straight to step two (which is what you did).

 

[Mr. Personality]

I don't find my wife sexually attractive. Been married for over a year and have not had sex, not because she didn't want it, but because I did not want to do it with her. There's nothing wrong with the way she looks, but she does not have any confidence in the way she looks (body issues) and I think this is the root of it.
Here are some observations:

Observations of what and possibly why I am attracted to:

• Strong, but submissive libidos. Or they may be aggressive and sexualized, but the relationship does not last long.
• Brunettes who appear to be “smarter and healthier” maybe appear more confident and high energy.
• They have been mostly young, but some are in their 30’s. Most have been brunettes, but some blondes.
• Young, pretty, and confident, but also submissive in bed.
• Girls who appear to be high maintenance. Perhaps as a sign of high value, high confidence (respect ~ sex).
• I look at obtaining women as a symptom of self-improvement, and if I stay with her, then I will not self-improve (?)

Observations of my relationship with her, and possible causes:

• She is socially awkward and has body image issues, the girls I was with before didn’t have that problem.
• The relationship makes demands from me that I view as aggressive toward me, such as getting emotionally involved, to slow down, giving into demands that are not a part of my goals. She is emotionally involved because she cares more about me, which I am not used to.
• She is boring when she talks to me. Probably because she sits at home all day, and has few friends.
• During attempted sex, she does not feel aroused enough by my actions. Probably because I don’t act in a way that I find her attractive.

Possible root causes:

My libido draws from my core values, but does not match with my expected values, that is, living aggressively. My libido corresponds with my ambitions.



I have to see her as sexualized (confident with her body), submissive in bed, not getting in my way. I expect a woman to be turned on sexually by me being aggressive.

if not, I would suggest not watching porn Or jerking off instantly and see where that leads you…

when you got to have sex again. Be dominant. Choke her. Spit on her tits, talk dirty. …

if none of that works. Maybe move on.

 

[Plinco]

if not, I would suggest not watching porn Or jerking off instantly and see where that leads you…

when you got to have sex again. Be dominant. Choke her. Spit on her tits, talk dirty. …

if none of that works. Maybe move on.

I used to watch porn back in 2017. I felt so disgusted with myself I just couldn't watch it again.

I've not been having sex with her, because I don't feel the desire to. I have the desire for other women, but not her.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

This thread lulz!

 

[Plinco]

This thread lulz!

Oh yeah