When refusing to be manipulated gets you nexted.

[Raasay]

But I suspect all the hate I'm getting is because my iron spine that none of you possess.

Nothing more to add

 

[DonJuanjr]

Remember, women have very fragile egos and are easily offended. And in text conversations, you can come across as an @sshole even if you are not trying to.

That's why I use emojis to try and prevent that.

 

[DonJuanjr]

I think I have a good idea what to do next.

I would just get in touch with her saying something like "I know I was short with your request, I was in the middle of something. I should have said I had other matters to attend to, so I couldn't help you." You are not lying, because your "other matters" were your plans for that day.

 

[BadBoy89]

however, this weekend she texted me asking if I would help her move. Seeing as how we only had sex 3 times, I didn’t feel right about that. So I told her I’d have to pass.

How many times would you have had to have sex with her to feel right about it?

 

[BeExcellent]

no. Manipulation I can handle like I did. That’s not the problem. The problem is if a girl nexts me even though I have a backbone. I need some trick or technique to smooth things over without turning my back on my principles.

Advice from the old lady:

Totally get not helping someone move who you just started seeing. It’s kind of inconsiderate frankly for her to ask you.

But. You have to deliver the news a little more delicately. From the context of your thread it seems that maybe you come off as too brusque or harsh in asserting your boundaries. That can be off putting. So my best guess is that this is a calibration issue.

All you have to say is “Gee. I already have commitments this weekend (or whatever) so I’m not able to help. Would be cool to see your new place once you get settled…”

You don’t explain what those commitments are and you deliver the news matter of factly like no big deal. You don’t apologize for being unavailable. You don’t flat out refuse (she will see this as rude/rejection which is why she has vanished…),

Your commitment could be to your video game. None of her beeswax. Point is you have other plans already that don’t include being her work horse.

Think about the WAY you relay information. If you are too rejecting/rude girls with think you are a prick and bail.

Pretty girls have lots of options who don’t come off that way.

So my suggestion is to consider a better way to communicate your boundaries without coming off like a jerk.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Advice from the old lady:

Totally get not helping someone move who you just started seeing. It’s kind of inconsiderate frankly for her to ask you.

But. You have to deliver the news a little more delicately. From the context of your thread it seems that maybe you come off as too brusque or harsh in asserting your boundaries. That can be off putting. So my best guess is that this is a calibration issue.

All you have to say is “Gee. I already have commitments this weekend (or whatever) so I’m not able to help. Would be cool to see your new place once you get settled…”

You don’t explain what those commitments are and you deliver the news matter of factly like no big deal. You don’t apologize for being unavailable. You don’t flat out refuse (she will see this as rude/rejection which is why she has vanished…),

Your commitment could be to your video game. None of her beeswax. Point is you have other plans already that don’t include being her work horse.

Think about the WAY you relay information. If you are too rejecting/rude girls with think you are a prick and bail.

Pretty girls have lots of options who don’t come off that way.

So my suggestion is too consider a better way to communicate your boundaries without coming off like a jerk.

Like I said...OP can use some social tact.

 

[SargeMaximus]

How many times would you have had to have sex with her to feel right about it?

A few months worth. I'd expect that from a girlfriend not a fwb I just met.

 

[SargeMaximus]

Lol one of my girls agrees with me. Pics below. Eat that.

 

[metalwater]

people ask for what they want. she needed help and you are the first or second one in her mind. so she asked.

"Sorry I can't, if it was last week I could have but I am already busy". should I come by later at night and help unpack...

your thinking if she respected you she would not ask. how about if she had priority for you, you're the first one she would ask. she need a guy to lift crap, so she was picking the one she would prefer to have around.

 

[SargeMaximus]

people ask for what they want. she needed help and you are the first or second one in her mind. so she asked.

"Sorry I can't, if it was last week I could have but I am already busy". should I come by later at night and help unpack...

your thinking if she respected you she would not ask. how about if she had priority for you, you're the first one she would ask. she need a guy to lift crap, so she was picking the one she would prefer to have around.

I refer you to my post right above yours.
You guys on here are simps and now we got proof as my other girl agrees with ME. Hilarious

 

[metalwater]

I refer you to my post right above yours.
You guys on here are simps and now we got proof as my other girl agrees with ME. Hilarious

Sarge, ouch...

maybe. I for sure have simped before... I don't see this as a simp move or beta or stupid or anything like that.

in this case, I hold to my idea. It's some balance to be not a sucker and also not a jerk. getting that just right is always a thing. being a jerk is a more safe move but not always right.

perhaps more of the details would have me pick the other way; who knows.

not sure any of your girls are the ones that I would have said yes to... other than the way you did. just sayin...

been working hard to find lower-quality women so I can do it right.

 

[SargeMaximus]

Sarge, ouch...

maybe. I for sure have simped before... I don't see this as a simp move or beta or stupid or anything like that.

in this case, I hold to my idea. It's some balance to be not a sucker and also not a jerk. getting that just right is always a thing. being a jerk is a more safe move but not always right.

perhaps more of the details would have me pick the other way; who knows.

not sure any of your girls are the ones that I would have said yes to... other than the way you did. just sayin...

been working hard to find lower-quality women so I can do it right.

Not sure what you’re getting at, and this wasn’t directed at you personally. I just find it hilarious how I come on here and get mostly hate and people taking the moving girl’s side on this issue yet a girl I have in my rotation sees it exactly as I do. I don’t know about you but it really shows me what kinds of guys are on here.

 

[metalwater]

Not sure what you’re getting at, and this wasn’t directed at you personally. I just find it hilarious how I come on here and get mostly hate and people taking the moving girl’s side on this issue yet a girl I have in my rotation sees it exactly as I do. I don’t know about you but it really shows me what kinds of guys are on here.

no issues man. I am also interested in the topic.

so why would a woman in your rotation give you the advice to be nice to another woman? she would not. we know to not trust advice from women about how to treat other women. how much more a competitor.

if it's a girl you might want to promote, being kind sometimes is ok. not like your going to buy her a house or something.

if it's really just a woman that you only want for hookups, then you got it right.

We do have some simps and guys in all sorts of stages of learning. Many are just trying to figure out what else to do instead of simping.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I refer you to my post right above yours.
You guys on here are simps and now we got proof as my other girl agrees with ME. Hilarious

Again. It's not what you said, it's how you said it. You seem to think that the way you deliver a message doesn't matter but it's actually 93% of the total in importance according to studies.

Perhaps this is where some of your issues lie...you can't always be a bull in a china shop. Sometimes situations require tact and finesse.

 

[SargeMaximus]

Again. It's not what you said, it's how you said it. You seem to think that the way you deliver a message doesn't matter but it's actually 93% of the total in importance according to studies.

Perhaps this is where some of your issues lie...you can't always be a bull in a china shop. Sometimes situations require tact and finesse.

Maybe I prefer girls who like me for who I am

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Maybe I prefer girls who like me for who I am

That's a bullsh!t excuse and you know it.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

That's a bullsh!t excuse and you know it.

If they don't like him for who he is then they don't like him, pretty simple. Some of the ones if he could "change" to get to like him, just aren't good ladies to be messing with. Ladies like that are taking down the best of the best of men. I could name a long list of men beyond "high value" that were manipulated, and robbed and/or destroyed by the kinder gender.

Ecclesiasticus 25:23 KJVAAE
A wicked woman abateth the courage, maketh an heavy countenance and a wounded heart: a woman that will not comfort her husband in distress maketh weak hands and feeble knees.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

If they don't like him for who he is then they don't like him, pretty simple. Some of the ones if he could "change" to get to like him, just aren't good ladies to be messing with. Ladies like that are taking down the best of the best of men. I could name a long list of men beyond "high value" that were manipulated, and robbed and/or destroyed by the kinder gender.

Ecclesiasticus 25:23 KJVAAE
A wicked woman abateth the courage, maketh an heavy countenance and a wounded heart: a woman that will not comfort her husband in distress maketh weak hands and feeble knees.

The change shouldn't be for them, it should be for him. But they are his results so if that's what he wants to keep happening then so be it.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

The change shouldn't be for them, it should be for him. But they are his results so if that's what he wants to keep happening then so be it.

I agree on that. I was just saying making a change to get to a bad "type". But improving certain areas will get you what you should be able to get in life. Some of those who might like you, just won't like you enough with certain flaws or weaknesses.

 

[SargeMaximus]

That's a bullsh!t excuse and you know it.

its not an excuse, dad. Don’t be mad at me just because bitcoin is down today.

are you claiming that what happened to me before I responded the way you say needs to change is a result of the way I responded? Because that is not only impossible it’s laughable