When refusing to be manipulated gets you nexted.

[SargeMaximus]

This has happened to me a lot. Classic pua wisdom says women like men that have a spine and don’t get taken advantage of or refuse to be mistreated.
And yet, every time I do this a woman uses it as an excuse to next me.

case in point, I have been sleeping with a new girl. We’ve had sex 3 times and she has been texting me like crazy and all the good things.

we had plans to meet to fvck again tomorrow after she is moved into her new place .

however, this weekend she texted me asking if I would help her move. Seeing as how we only had sex 3 times, I didn’t feel right about that. So I told her I’d have to pass.

then magically today when I text to ask if we are still on for tomorrow she claims her landlord is fixing her bathroom tomorrow.


so, my frustration is that even if you do have a spine and don’t get manipulated by the woman and stand firm to your boundaries, a woman will still (and maybe more so) pass you up.

that’s my frustration.

 

[Plinco]

This has happened to me a lot. Classic pua wisdom says women like men that have a spine and don’t get taken advantage of or refuse to be mistreated.
And yet, every time I do this a woman uses it as an excuse to next me.

case in point, I have been sleeping with a new girl. We’ve had sex 3 times and she has been texting me like crazy and all the good things.

we had plans to meet to fvck again tomorrow after she is moved into her new place .

however, this weekend she texted me asking if I would help her move. Seeing as how we only had sex 3 times, I didn’t feel right about that. So I told her I’d have to pass.

then magically today when I text to ask if we are still on for tomorrow she claims her landlord is fixing her bathroom tomorrow.


so, my frustration is that even if you do have a spine and don’t get manipulated by the woman and stand firm to your boundaries, a woman will still (and maybe more so) pass you up.

that’s my frustration.

A lot of times women play games out of insecurity.

As far as the controlling part, you're dodging bullets

 

[SargeMaximus]

A lot of times women play games out of insecurity.

As far as the controlling part, you're dodging bullets

What kind of insecurity could this be? And how can I fix it?

I can handle the attempts at controlling. I got an iron will

 

[Robert28]

I guess it could be worse. You could have never slept with her and still been asked to help her move lol

 

[Plinco]

Most of these women expect to get their way all of the time. When a dude doesn't do what she wants him to do in a situation like this, she feels like she isn't getting the support that she is expecting to get. This is her way of handling it. An approximate analogy is like an immature narcissist who freaks out because the attention is being cut off.

 

[SargeMaximus]

Most of these women expect to get their way all of the time. When a dude doesn't do what she wants him to do in a situation like this, she feels like she isn't getting the support that she is expecting to get. This is her way of handling it. An approximate analogy is like an immature narcissist who freaks out because the attention is being cut off.

Yes but pua says that a man doing exactly this stands out from the betas. I’m naturally resistant to manipulation and so I was initially overjoyed to hear this. But as I said, over the years I have noticed that it is more an anchor to my results than a boon to them.

So how do I work with this virtue of mine?How can I show women I care or whatever it is they want without giving into the manipulation?

 

[SargeMaximus]

Doing nice things for girls after you've banged them is fine. Just don't overdo it. Having a spine doesn't mean you act like a mean d1ck to her all the time. Some girls like that, but many girls won't put up with it.

The issue that men have is they will do nice things for girls that they haven't banged (i.e. simping). Men should reward women with nice things after they have banged.

Unfortunately in your case she was comfort-testing you. You probably came across as a jerk to her and that's why she's gone cold.

I can’t take all this. Be a simp after you bang them? No thanks.

I don’t help people I just met move. Even if ive slept with them. That’s not cool at all.

she likely knew it too if you read her message. Pic below

 

[SargeMaximus]

Who said be a simp after you bang her?

Doing the occasional nice thing for her isn't simping dude. Especially if you're banging her. Even if you want to treat her like a dog, you still have to feed it from time to time. Feeding your dog isn't simping.

ok but helping a stranger move?Just because you had sex a few times? That’s not ok. Not at all. She’s not my wife. And I don’t appreciate being used for favors. God forbid that was the only reason she was sleeping with me

 

[SargeMaximus]

She's not a stranger if you've banged her 3 times man. You could've used the move as an excuse to get her to svck your c0ck or something fun

I just don’t feel right about it. I really don’t. And if it’s a requirement to doing well
With women I suppose I’m fvcked because I’m not ok with it at all

 

[SargeMaximus]

You should have enough abundance so that you can let her walk with no sweat anyway. Women will come and go regardless.

Well I’m not a rock star. But Fair enough. It is what it is. Thanks.

 

[SargeMaximus]

I read the text exchange. My mum always told me "it's not what you say but how you say it."

"Think I'll pass"? Lol. Surely, there was kinder way to refuse her request? Like telling a little white lie that you're busy that day with prior plans?

I dunno, I don't agree with lying either, by perhaps something a bit less cold. Assuming you want to convey genuine interest versus some chick to bang.

That said, girl's got "balls" asking you, I wouldn't ask that of a new man I'm dating or banging. If he were my boyfriend, yes, but not a man I've dated/banged three times. Sounds like a shyt test like Pan87 said.

You were right to not fall for that test but maybe you could have been a bit less direct and harsh when turning her down.

I treat people how I feel they are treating me.

 

[Plinco]

Yes but pua says that a man doing exactly this stands out from the betas. I’m naturally resistant to manipulation and so I was initially overjoyed to hear this. But as I said, over the years I have noticed that it is more an anchor to my results than a boon to them.

So how do I work with this virtue of mine?How can I show women I care or whatever it is they want without giving into the manipulation?

What exactly are the results you are looking for?

 

[SargeMaximus]

@catsmeow this isn’t a trial. None of your business

What exactly are the results you are looking for?

I don’t understand what you’re getting at

 

[SargeMaximus]

USER=155730]@SargeMaximus[/USER] i know its not a trial and I'm not trying to guilt trip you, just trying to get you consider and see things from her perspective.

You were not obligated to help but responding "think I'll pass" again that was pretty cold imo and probably hers as well.

Anyway, nevermind. I thought you really liked this girl.

I dont appreciate a girl I just met recently asking me to help her move. Hence my response.

 

[Plinco]

@catsmeow this isn’t a trial. None of your business



I don’t understand what you’re getting at

I'm guessing you want a relationship without the manipulation

 

[SargeMaximus]

I'm guessing you want a relationship without the manipulation

no. Manipulation I can handle like I did. That’s not the problem. The problem is if a girl nexts me even though I have a backbone. I need some trick or technique to smooth things over without turning my back on my principles.

 

[Plinco]

no. Manipulation I can handle like I did. That’s not the problem. The problem is if a girl nexts me even though I have a backbone. I need some trick or technique to smooth things over without turning my back on my principles.

I've ended quite a few that way myself.

The only way it works in my experience is that I don't play games, I call her out on her games, and it has to be a certain type of women that doesn't have a stick up her a$$

 

[SargeMaximus]

OK then next her, she's a manipulatuve bytch, what's the problem? You've only banged her three times, why this thread?

Just move the hell on if you don't like it. Easy peasy.

Ive already said why I made this thread and that the problem ISNT her trying to manipulate me.

 

[SargeMaximus]

There is no trick. It's what @Plinco said, find a different girl, one who doesn't play manipulative games and/or does not have a "stick up her arse."

Ciao. Good luck.

the manipulation isn’t the problem, as I’ve said. Thanks for responding to a problem I don’t have.

 

[DonJuanjr]

no. Manipulation I can handle like I did. That’s not the problem. The problem is if a girl nexts me even though I have a backbone. I need some trick or technique to smooth things over without turning my back on my principles.

Just say it a different way. You worded it because you were mirroring what you felt like was her treatment of you. Still though you don't want to lose the possible plate. Treat it without emotion. You have an offended emotion attached. Of course females are going to use every possible resource they have to get things done for them. You already know this, so don't get offended at her attempting it. She would probably attempt it with any guy she's talking to. Not because she views you specifically as an easy target.