I'm going to ask this question regardless. What is it in a woman that dates a guy and then turns him into her Dad?

[Firecrotch66]

I'm 23. I tend to date women in their late 20s so older than me and for whatever reason what ends up happening is they go do a whole lot of stupid sh** that can harm me, they go and tell all their coworkers every detail of what we together you know private information and then I end up parenting them. I'm sick of this. I can't do this anymore. I don't know why I can't just a normal thing with these girls. Wtf. I don't know if this just some weird form of manipulation yet I've about had it at this point. There's a girl I have an on and off thing with and I'm done with her. She does this s**t over and over again and plays this whole game of "I'm so sorry I did those things" and then goes off and does the same sh** again. I know its intentional at this point I got a 12 year old sister and my sister doesn't pull this kinda garbage on me. Some of my sisters friends pull that kind of garbage on their Dad's yet these old women I'm dating/talking to(mostly past tense at this point. I'm not actively dating. At this point I'm trying to figure my own life out. It's mostly past tense). I'm not their Dad not only am I not their Dad I'm also younger than them. This is crazy.

 

[Fruitbat]

I'm 23. I tend to date women in their late 20s so older than me and for whatever reason what ends up happening is they go do a whole lot of stupid sh** that can harm me, they go and tell all their coworkers every detail of what we together you know private information and then I end up parenting them. I'm sick of this. I can't do this anymore. I don't know why I can't just a normal thing with these girls. Wtf. I don't know if this just some weird form of manipulation yet I've about had it at this point. There's a girl I have an on and off thing with and I'm done with her. She does this s**t over and over again and plays this whole game of "I'm so sorry I did those things" and then goes off and does the same sh** again. I know its intentional at this point I got a 12 year old sister and my sister doesn't pull this kinda garbage on me. Some of my sisters friends pull that kind of garbage on their Dad's yet these old women I'm dating/talking to(mostly past tense at this point. I'm not actively dating. At this point I'm trying to figure my own life out. It's mostly past tense). I'm not their Dad not only am I not their Dad I'm also younger than them. This is crazy.

this isn’t all women, this is the woman you describe and being honest, the fact that she keeps doing it shows you haven’t nexted her for it. You’re early 20s, you should have tons of girls available.

fool me once, shame on thee. Fool me twice, shame on me.

or George Bush jnrs version: fool me once, shame on, shame on….you? You fool me can’t get fooled again.

 

[Firecrotch66]

this isn’t all women, this is the woman you describe and being honest, the fact that she keeps doing it shows you haven’t nexted her for it. You’re early 20s, you should have tons of girls available.

fool me once, shame on thee. Fool me twice, shame on me.

or George Bush jnrs version: fool me once, shame on, shame on….you? You fool me can’t get fooled again.

I'm nexting her today man. I'm finally coming to terms with it that I'm being used for validation. A woman who's happy to be with me doesn't do s**t like that. I'm just kinda...slow to accepting that. Yeah fr.

 

[derby1]

I'm 23. I tend to date women in their late 20s so older than me and for whatever reason what ends up happening is they go do a whole lot of stupid sh** that can harm me, they go and tell all their coworkers every detail of what we together you know private information and then I end up parenting them. I'm sick of this.

I dont know man, I see a lot of women do this, They literally report every move their boyfriend makes to update there social media "fans"

this one I know, she literally went on her first date the other night, and updated everyone the morning after, with about 4 paragraphs of how the night worked out.

its nauseating

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

I've said this in a bunch of different threads, but due to agency, women have become agents, they can act in whoever's interest they desire including their own, they can become agents of the state through child support, are agents of the social circle with the highest status in her life, she shares information with them and them, her, all her friends are in service to her and her, them.

She is loyal to social status, she is rising up the hierarchy at any cost to a man or woman she's not aligned with.

Its cloak and dagger ****, it just is what it is, the only answer is to not allow them to have the information in the first place, because it will be disseminated.

 

[SW15]

I'm 23. I tend to date women in their late 20s so older than me and for whatever reason what ends up happening is they go do a whole lot of stupid sh** that can harm me, they go and tell all their coworkers every detail of what we together you know private information and then I end up parenting them. I'm sick of this. I can't do this anymore. I'm not their Dad not only am I not their Dad I'm also younger than them. This is crazy.

Yes, this is crazy. I've never heard of anything like this.

At 23, focus more on dating 18-22 year olds.

 

[Focal core]

why did you always end up parenting them? sounds to me you yourself had issues to be settle . and you're always on the same cycle attracted to the same type of women that needed rescued. This In long term will have an adverse effect to your health which can cause serious health repercussions.

Various cancers, stomach/intestinal issues, glandular difficulties, rheumatism, migraine headaches, Anxiety/Panic Disorders and adult acne are only a few of the ailments that are triggered by long-held resentment and repressed rage.

Are you as a child has been emotionally blackmailed into responding to the needs of your mother? you maybe a people pleaser.

 

[Firecrotch66]

I dont know man, I see a lot of women do this, They literally report every move their boyfriend makes to update there social media "fans"

this one I know, she literally went on her first date the other night, and updated everyone the morning after, with about 4 paragraphs of how the night worked out.

its nauseating

Every time I hear someone say the exact thing your saying I keep looking back at my skiing accident 4 years ago and I keep wondering if I did in fact die and got projected into an alternate universe called this one. I don't remember growing up with people being this insecure and needing to consistently document every movement of their significant other. This just doesn't seem something of a world I remember.

I also remember my childhood was vastly different. It was strange because where I grew up in had very much of a old school feel to it. Think jazz, 1960s chevrolets, and country clubs. The place I grew up I visited it couple months back and it's completely different from what I remember.

 

[Firecrotch66]

I've said this in a bunch of different threads, but due to agency, women have become agents, they can act in whoever's interest they desire including their own, they can become agents of the state through child support, are agents of the social circle with the highest status in her life, she shares information with them and them, her, all her friends are in service to her and her, them.

She is loyal to social status, she is rising up the hierarchy at any cost to a man or woman she's not aligned with.

Its cloak and dagger ****, it just is what it is, the only answer is to not allow them to have the information in the first place, because it will be disseminated.

Man this makes me want to buy a ranch in the mountains far away from society and build it to be self sufficient. If is what women have become I want no part in it. Yeah I'm beginning to understand the concept of silence and stoicism.

 

[Firecrotch66]

Yes, this is crazy. I've never heard of anything like this.

At 23, focus more on dating 18-22 year olds.

Yeah I'm do that.

 

[Firecrotch66]

As a woman, allow me to chime in.

First off don't get why you feel you need to "parent" them for sharing information, perhaps I'm missing some context?

Second, perhaps it's not quite as malicious as you think and I'm giving a lot of benefit of doubt when saying that; I don't know these women or what exactly they're sharing with others.

But anyway, what it boils down to is yin/yang, mars/venus and women valuing different things.

Generally speaking women value communication, sharing, supporting each other. Sharing details and information with each other and supporting.

I'm guilty of this too sometimes, or used to be. However as I get older, I value privacy, and what happens between my boyfriend(s) and me remains private between us or I might share some things with my brother but that's it. I deactivated most of my socials also.

Anyway, I hear ya and wouldn't like it either. This is just something to consider to foster a better understanding of our differences versus getting angry about it.

So there's women in this forum? That's a little surprising. To each their own.

It's more I've had this conversation with her time and time again. I've asked her to be respectful and keep our private information private. In response she completely agrees. She acknowledges my request and goes off and does it again regardless of the agreement. It p*sses me off that I didn't listen to my gut a month ago and nexted her.
A month ago she told me she loves to argue. She wants a man who won't let her walk all over him yet also wants him to be nice to her. She basically told me she wants to date a jerk who's an a$$hole to everyone except for her. Which that's not how it works. If she's going to be a complete piece of s**t to the person she's dating guess what they're going to be an a$$hole right back at her. You don't get special treatment cause youre dating them. That's an incredibly immature mindset. If you want respect and kindness from someone honor the dam* agreement. So in terms of context it's the fact we have had this conversation before it's the same stupid conversation and the result each time is the same. She just plays this game of agreeing to disagree. Honestly at this point I'd take a go f**ck yourself I'm do what I want over the s**t she's doing. At least I can respect a f**k you over the s**t she's pulling.

It's not that its malicious. It's childish and its starting to drive me insane because what happened to people being adults? I find myself time and time again with not women. I find myself with girls in the body of women. I know women don't stop maturing at 15 because I have sisters and I have cousins who act their age. I'm starting to think maybe its just specific to white American women(I haven't had that issue with poc) because that's the majority I attract and they all act like they're 15 while having the body of a woman. I casually asked this lady the other day what age she feels and she tells me without hesitation "15" and that was exact moment where I was like where did I f**ck up in life. There was another red flag her ex is 32 and has a kid. He left her for pretty much the same reason I'm nexting her. He told her he can't be with her anymore because he needs to commit more time to his kid(Dude was parenting the lady too). I don't have a kid yet I do have a dog and the dog is a puppy. I grew up with dogs. I've already had experience raising puppies and training them and it's exactly like raising a kid. With this lady it's not mutual whenever I'm around her it feels like I'm babysitting her. Beyond the puppy I have alot of experience with children. I took care of my parent's friends kids. I've parented my parents friends kids because my parents had me in their early 20s and I guess they weren't done getting their partying out of their system so my brother and I ended up made responsible for taking care of their friend's kids. Me being the younger brother ofc he had me do most of the heavy lifting so he could go and game on his gameboy. I have a ton of experience with kids it's to the point where people who know me keep trying to get to switch my major from computer science to child education. I don't want to do that. Just because I'm really good with kids doesn't mean I'm passionate about it. Me being good with kids comes from having to take care of them from the age of 10. Most 10 year olds aren't raising toddlers. No they're out and being kids. Majority of guys you talk to don't have a clue how to raise a kid. Honestly that's something you can't have a kid and know how to do you need years of experience to really understand how to communicate with a baby and approach them. It's learning a language and culture within itself. You don't baby a kid. You treat em exactly how you would another person it's more nonverbal communication and tonnage based very similar to training and communicating with a dog. Sorry I got side tracked. When I pick up on childish behavior my early conditioning kicks in.

I would understand if she was sharing with close friends. Coworkers? Your coworkers are not your friends. You're just there with them because all of you need money.

liked "I'm guilty of this too sometimes, or used to be. However as I get older, I value privacy, and what happens between my boyfriend(s) and me remains private between us or I might share some things with my brother but that's it. I deactivated most of my socials also."


"Anyway, I hear ya and wouldn't like it either. This is just something to consider to foster a better understanding of our differences versus getting angry about it." -- fyi I'm not angry this me frustrated and a bit annoyed. I'm very intense. I sound like white trash. I take swearing and turn it into an art form. My delivery of swearing in person is smooth like butter. When I switch over to a vulgar delivery my fav swear combination is thunder c*nti*g douchecanoe. I would fit in a rap session at studio like I belong there. Very heavy Eminem Denzel curry vibes. Me angry is cold and calculated producing an efficient result giving me a full advantage over my target. Or when I'm feeling a bit chipper annihalting them because at that point I'm just doing it for fun and I want to give the person a reason to hate someone. In terms of understanding I hear you on our differences yet you can do the same thing you need in terms of sharing and supporting while Knowing your audience.

 

[Firecrotch66]

why did you always end up parenting them? sounds to me you yourself had issues to be settle . and you're always on the same cycle attracted to the same type of women that needed rescued. This In long term will have an adverse effect to your health which can cause serious health repercussions.

Various cancers, stomach/intestinal issues, glandular difficulties, rheumatism, migraine headaches, Anxiety/Panic Disorders and adult acne are only a few of the ailments that are triggered by long-held resentment and repressed rage.

Are you as a child has been emotionally blackmailed into responding to the needs of your mother? you maybe a people pleaser.

Boy There's rescuing and then parenting. There's a fine line between the two yet there is a difference. Rescuing is playing the whole I'm save her from herself. Parenting is b**ch stop doing this stupid s**it because you're putting me in a bad spot. Lol don't feel the resentment am very aware of the repressed rage. When it explodes and it does every now and then everything becomes very silent in my head and I become very focused, calm, and collected. It's a very serene experience.

Adding on yes. I was blackmailed all the f**ck the time. It was do this and this for me and I'll meet your basic needs on Maslow's hierarchy of needs by my mother. Or my Grandmother who lived with my parents would play this game of being super sweet to me under the condition I didn't **** up a single note when I was practicing violin. ****ing up when practicing is part of getting better. She would constantly critize every dam mistake I made. I had a private violin teacher and that's his job to criticize me not my grandmother's. I love that instrument yet because of my Grandma I have to keep my playing of it a secret. If I mention I still play when I'm back at home she does a 180 and it triggers that abusive side of her. She gets all grandiose and goes "Yes I always knew you were the next pavarotti. That's the bull**** I had to deal with. She kept going the greats were abused and I have to abuse you for you to be great. Ha no negative reinforcement never works long term. I would know I raised dogs. Positive reinforcement works like a charm. To add on whenever I called her out her thing was ""I just want you to be great because you have so much pure talent in you"" and my response would be ""Okay guess I got that talent from you why won't you play here's my violin let's have you play it because talent you get from your ancestors"" and then she'd get all goblin like and calm down(Yes I am very talented but that's not how you enable that talent. That just makes me hate you and anything associated with it). I need you to practice concert style all the time. I get what she was going for yet the execution was so poor. Poor poor execution. Same with my Mom. I have younger siblings that are 10 years younger. It's interesting because I came out as the most messed up out of the family. My brother he met a great woman and in a way through her he healed. He was pretty messed for a long time. My younger siblings are as healthy as can be. My parents are people that should have never had kids at 22. They should've waited till they were 38 to have kids like they did with my sisters.

 

[TheKid]

As a woman, allow me to chime in.

First off don't get why you feel you need to "parent" them for sharing information, perhaps I'm missing some context?

Second, perhaps it's not quite as malicious as you think and I'm giving a lot of benefit of doubt when saying that; I don't know these women or what exactly they're sharing with others.

But anyway, what it boils down to is yin/yang, mars/venus and women valuing different things.

Generally speaking women value communication, sharing, supporting each other. Sharing details and information with each other and supporting.

I'm guilty of this too sometimes, or used to be. However as I get older, I value privacy, and what happens between my boyfriend(s) and me remains private between us or I might share some things with my brother but that's it. I deactivated most of my socials also.

Anyway, I hear ya and wouldn't like it either. This is just something to consider to foster a better understanding of our differences versus getting angry about it.

Every woman I know talks about comunication being a value of theres. But yet every single one of them I have been with I have caught slipping on details. They dont tell you the full story and when you find out they expect it to be okay, however if they catch me slipping details its a problem for the next few days.
They dislike the fact that ive only been making deals about it since they do to me. I dont understand why they keep secrets but expect me not too also then.

 

[Focal core]

Boy There's rescuing and then parenting. There's a fine line between the two yet there is a difference. Rescuing is playing the whole I'm save her from herself. Parenting is b**ch stop doing this stupid s**it because you're putting me in a bad spot. Lol don't feel the resentment am very aware of the repressed rage. When it explodes and it does every now and then everything becomes very silent in my head and I become very focused, calm, and collected. It's a very serene experience.

Adding on yes. I was blackmailed all the f**ck the time. It was do this and this for me and I'll meet your basic needs on Maslow's hierarchy of needs by my mother. Or my Grandmother who lived with my parents would play this game of being super sweet to me under the condition I didn't **** up a single note when I was practicing violin. ****ing up when practicing is part of getting better. She would constantly critize every dam mistake I made. I had a private violin teacher and that's his job to criticize me not my grandmother's. I love that instrument yet because of my Grandma I have to keep my playing of it a secret. If I mention I still play when I'm back at home she does a 180 and it triggers that abusive side of her. She gets all grandiose and goes "Yes I always knew you were the next pavarotti. That's the bull**** I had to deal with. She kept going the greats were abused and I have to abuse you for you to be great. Ha no negative reinforcement never works long term. I would know I raised dogs. Positive reinforcement works like a charm. To add on whenever I called her out her thing was ""I just want you to be great because you have so much pure talent in you"" and my response would be ""Okay guess I got that talent from you why won't you play here's my violin let's have you play it because talent you get from your ancestors"" and then she'd get all goblin like and calm down(Yes I am very talented but that's not how you enable that talent. That just makes me hate you and anything associated with it). I need you to practice concert style all the time. I get what she was going for yet the execution was so poor. Poor poor execution. Same with my Mom. I have younger siblings that are 10 years younger. It's interesting because I came out as the most messed up out of the family. My brother he met a great woman and in a way through her he healed. He was pretty messed for a long time. My younger siblings are as healthy as can be. My parents are people that should have never had kids at 22. They should've waited till they were 38 to have kids like they did with my sisters.

Man that whole lot of rage .. Get that solved

 

[Firecrotch66]

Every woman I know talks about comunication being a value of theres. But yet every single one of them I have been with I have caught slipping on details. They dont tell you the full story and when you find out they expect it to be okay, however if they catch me slipping details its a problem for the next few days.
They dislike the fact that ive only been making deals about it since they do to me. I dont understand why they keep secrets but expect me not too also then.

I think its because it's called control flow of information they knowing white knight pu**ies will protect against their bfs with their bullscheisse cause they simpin. These boys be simpin on some hoes. Cause they simpletonini. If there were female simps then it'd be an even playing field.

 

[Firecrotch66]

Man that whole lot of rage .. Get that solved

hmm do they have liposuction for rage?

 

[Focal core]

hmm do they have liposuction for rage?

Its been called therapist all the time, or get self help material.

 

[Focal core]

long-held resentment and repressed rage (its really bad) impacting your daily interaction and your emotional health. It's not that anger is wrong or bad, but it's harshly self-judged, and eradicated from one's persona. Non-acceptance of any type of human emotion has one forging and maintaining a partial personality, instead of a whole one.

be that whole person you deserved to be

 

[Zimbabwe]

Women need a masculine role model in their life, it's up to you as her Boyfriend to take that responsibility. I don't see why any man should complain about that.

 

[Firecrotch66]

long-held resentment and repressed rage (its really bad) impacting your daily interaction and your emotional health. It's not that anger is wrong or bad, but it's harshly self-judged, and eradicated from one's persona. Non-acceptance of any type of human emotion has one forging and maintaining a partial personality, instead of a whole one.

be that whole person you deserved to be

True. I think mainly cause it's 1am my time and this is usually the time of the day I like sex. Angry sex with a pissed off girl sounds amazing rn. Whatd u mean by that last sentence?