Met that girl in the club tonight

[powersize]

Hey folks. There is that girl I was messing up with a couple of month ago.

Here is the old threat:

Fuked up tonight

Learn to be present and in the moment. Expect anything but don't anticipate anything. Play the long game and don't let anything get emotional. A few months ago I had a woman that I'd set up a date with that cancelled at the last minute. No problem, I always expect something like this could...

www.sosuave.net

Long story short - this is the girl I work with (yeah-yeah Do not **** where you eat I got it). I lost my frame with her, acted needy, after the advices you all gave me in early August I was stupid enough to try to text her and ask her out a couple of times where she either ignored or flaked (did not respond on my text or said she is busy this day without alternative time)

Yeah, it took me some extra time to get my balls and move on with her but I did it - in early September I had enough sh1t and after the last flake I just simple unfollowed her from IG and FB and deleted all the conversations. This was the day before her 30s birthday for which I was not invited despite the other colleagues from work were but at the same time I did not send her happy birthday message.

So after that I went totally NC and payed 0 attention on her at work - no small talk, no hey/hi and stuff like that, but was polite when I needed some job related stuff from her. The whole September I was improving myself: gym, coding, dressed better.

Yesterday we all needed to work but I finished the last one at the office at the midnight - so I went straight to the club where I met my friend. And guess who was there - that girl. I think I spotted her first with some dude who was trying to kiss her but I guess she did not see me. So I was moving around with my friend and then her female friend approached me with "Hey, do you know my friend?" And that girl was standing behind her smiling. So I came over to her, grabbed her waist, pulled over to me, we started talking, dancing and stuff like that. She asked "Why I do not pay attention on her, why I act like that and other BS". I made it clear that she was the one who started ignoring and flaking but probably I just simple needed to say "I do not like your behavior". Anyway we kept dancing, she was giving me some compliments that I am tall, fit and stuff like that, I could touch her everywhere and had some small kisses. Than she introduced me to her friends where that dude was (the one who was trying to make it out with her when I firstly spotted her). So I stayed a bit with them where that dude firstly tried to make his things with her infront of me but then I pulled her to me and he stopped. At one point she told me that they both have some competition with that dude who will dance and kiss more partners at the club and he is winning so she needs to help him to escape who this girl she is dancing with - I simple said "Go". She turned around, grabbed the dude's hand and walked away. I had that "I do not give a fuk" attitude and walked away as well. After this I stayed probably 20 min more at the club and left.

I do not really care if she had anything with that dude or with other dudes after I left - cause I feel I already moved on, and I know that the dude she was with is nothing compared to me in terms of physics and the way how I carry on myself. Over the last month I had good progress at the gym, while she gained some fat a bit. So I came home, had some decent sleep, my brain is not messed up cause of the situation. So what I will do next? - Nothing. I do not care frankly. That girl should really chase me in order to prove that she is worth my attention.

What do you think folks? Shouldn't I talk and dance with her at all?

 

[Zimbabwe]

Why do you even care, don't you have other girls?

 

[powersize]

Shes not yours its just your turn...get used to it

What do you mean here?

 

[powersize]

Why do you even care, don't you have other girls?

Currently no plates in my rotation. Focused last month on my stuff mostly.

 

[Bingo-Player]

she power played you , you completely lost your frame you cannot come back from this point it's done

And besides i counted maybe 4 red flags in that story alone and i've not read the other one, trust me you aint missing anything with this girl other than maybe one night of sex which really you can get elsewhere

I hate to break it too you but you probably need to hear it .... after you left she will have gotten fvcked hard that night

Don't ever interact with this woman again

 

[powersize]

she power played you , you completely lost your frame you cannot come back from this point it's done

And besides i counted maybe 4 red flags in that story alone and i've not read the other one, trust me you aint missing anything with this girl other than maybe one night of sex which really you can get elsewhere

I hate to break it too you but you probably need to hear it .... after you left she will have gotten fvcked hard that night

Don't ever interact with this woman again

Appreciate your reply mate. Have a couple of questions:

Where exactly I lost my frame this night? I did not overreact and walked away once she wanted to leave. In fact yesterday she texted me where I went cause she was looking for me after all.

Red flags? Like dancing with other dude, selling me BS about how many partners she kissed and danced with? What else?

I know I ain’t missing anything. And I fact I do not care if she had gangbang this night with the whole bunch of dudes - told you I worked out last month on myself and in particular my mindset.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Yesterday we all needed to work but I finished the last one at the office at the midnight - so I went straight to the club where I met my friend. And guess who was there - that girl. I think I spotted her first with some dude who was trying to kiss her but I guess she did not see me. So I was moving around with my friend and then her female friend approached me with "Hey, do you know my friend?" And that girl was standing behind her smiling. So I came over to her, grabbed her waist, pulled over to me, we started talking, dancing and stuff like that. She asked "Why I do not pay attention on her, why I act like that and other BS". I made it clear that she was the one who started ignoring and flaking but probably I just simple needed to say "I do not like your behavior". Anyway we kept dancing, she was giving me some compliments that I am tall, fit and stuff like that, I could touch her everywhere and had some small kisses. Than she introduced me to her friends where that dude was (the one who was trying to make it out with her when I firstly spotted her). So I stayed a bit with them where that dude firstly tried to make his things with her infront of me but then I pulled her to me and he stopped. At one point she told me that they both have some competition with that dude who will dance and kiss more partners at the club and he is winning so she needs to help him to escape who this girl she is dancing with - I simple said "Go". She turned around, grabbed the dude's hand and walked away. I had that "I do not give a fuk" attitude and walked away as well.

This entire section is one big red flag

But if you see where i underlined and bold ...... you never tell a woman you don't like her behaviour because then she knows its working

You shouldn't have given her any attention in the club and made sure you were speaking to other women all night i'm not saying that would have solved all of your problems but she certainly wouldn't have liked it

Women cannot stand seeing a man they have had on a string , chasing other women it's like the ultimate insult to them lol

And stop telling me you don't care about her , you do care otherwise you wouldn't have bothered with these posts in such detail

But use this experience to understand why you cared and why you wont care in the future

I dont wanna sound like i am busting your balls but sometimes we do need it.

 

[powersize]

you never tell a woman you don't like her behaviour because then she knows its working

So what do you do instead - next her?

 

[Bingo-Player]

So what do you do instead - next her?

Yes just walk away you don't need closure on it it's not that serious

 

[powersize]

Yes just walk away you don't need closure on it it's not that serious

But what is wrong with calling them out for bad behavior if at the end of the day you walk away in both situations?

 

[dude99]

Hey folks. There is that girl I was messing up with a couple of month ago.

Here is the old threat:

Fuked up tonight

Learn to be present and in the moment. Expect anything but don't anticipate anything. Play the long game and don't let anything get emotional. A few months ago I had a woman that I'd set up a date with that cancelled at the last minute. No problem, I always expect something like this could...

www.sosuave.net

Long story short - this is the girl I work with (yeah-yeah Do not **** where you eat I got it). I lost my frame with her, acted needy, after the advices you all gave me in early August I was stupid enough to try to text her and ask her out a couple of times where she either ignored or flaked (did not respond on my text or said she is busy this day without alternative time)

Yeah, it took me some extra time to get my balls and move on with her but I did it - in early September I had enough sh1t and after the last flake I just simple unfollowed her from IG and FB and deleted all the conversations. This was the day before her 30s birthday for which I was not invited despite the other colleagues from work were but at the same time I did not send her happy birthday message.

So after that I went totally NC and payed 0 attention on her at work - no small talk, no hey/hi and stuff like that, but was polite when I needed some job related stuff from her. The whole September I was improving myself: gym, coding, dressed better.

Yesterday we all needed to work but I finished the last one at the office at the midnight - so I went straight to the club where I met my friend. And guess who was there - that girl. I think I spotted her first with some dude who was trying to kiss her but I guess she did not see me. So I was moving around with my friend and then her female friend approached me with "Hey, do you know my friend?" And that girl was standing behind her smiling. So I came over to her, grabbed her waist, pulled over to me, we started talking, dancing and stuff like that. She asked "Why I do not pay attention on her, why I act like that and other BS". I made it clear that she was the one who started ignoring and flaking but probably I just simple needed to say "I do not like your behavior". Anyway we kept dancing, she was giving me some compliments that I am tall, fit and stuff like that, I could touch her everywhere and had some small kisses. Than she introduced me to her friends where that dude was (the one who was trying to make it out with her when I firstly spotted her). So I stayed a bit with them where that dude firstly tried to make his things with her infront of me but then I pulled her to me and he stopped. At one point she told me that they both have some competition with that dude who will dance and kiss more partners at the club and he is winning so she needs to help him to escape who this girl she is dancing with - I simple said "Go". She turned around, grabbed the dude's hand and walked away. I had that "I do not give a fuk" attitude and walked away as well. After this I stayed probably 20 min more at the club and left.

I do not really care if she had anything with that dude or with other dudes after I left - cause I feel I already moved on, and I know that the dude she was with is nothing compared to me in terms of physics and the way how I carry on myself. Over the last month I had good progress at the gym, while she gained some fat a bit. So I came home, had some decent sleep, my brain is not messed up cause of the situation. So what I will do next? - Nothing. I do not care frankly. That girl should really chase me in order to prove that she is worth my attention.

What do you think folks? Shouldn't I talk and dance with her at all?

Nope. She was having the time of her life having 2 guys compete for her.

You did nothing but inflate her ego and validate the schitt out of her.

When you go no contact YOU STAY NO CONTACT. When her friend came over and asked "hey do you know my friend?" Your answer should have been "we work at the same company." Period. When she asks why are you not validating her or giving her attention you answer "not sure what you mean we discuss work stuff all the time." Then go back to what you were doing.

When you and the other dude were competing for her her head and ego must have been in the clouds.

Go no contact. Stay No contact. Stay professional and move on

 

[powersize]

Nope. She was having the time of her life having 2 guys compete for her.

You did nothing but inflate her ego and validate the schitt out of her.

When you go no contact YOU STAY NO CONTACT. When her friend came over and asked "hey do you know my friend?" Your answer should have been "we work at the same company." Period. When she asks why are you not validating her or giving her attention you answer "not sure what you mean we discuss work stuff all the time." Then go back to what you were doing.

When you and the other dude were competing for her her head and ego must have been in the clouds.

Go no contact. Stay No contact. Stay professional and move on

I agree that it was validation for her, but at the same time why she was validating me by saying all the compliments?

 

[dude99]

I agree that it was validation for her, but at the same time why she was validating me by saying all the compliments?

To keep you as an orbiter. Women collect them. They want that free supply of attention and validation and bragging rights to their other colleges about how she keeps you on a string. Women talk. They brag. They enjoy leading guys on. They enjoy giving you false hope so you will drop everything for her

 

[powersize]

To keep you as an orbiter. Women collect them. They want that free supply of attention and validation and bragging rights to their other colleges about how she keeps you on a string. Women talk. They brag. They enjoy leading guys on. They enjoy giving you false hope so you will drop everything for her

Aren’t orbiters constantly chase and provide free attention? Neither of both I have done for the past month.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

Hey folks. There is that girl I was messing up with a couple of month ago.

Here is the old threat:

Fuked up tonight

Learn to be present and in the moment. Expect anything but don't anticipate anything. Play the long game and don't let anything get emotional. A few months ago I had a woman that I'd set up a date with that cancelled at the last minute. No problem, I always expect something like this could...

www.sosuave.net

Long story short - this is the girl I work with (yeah-yeah Do not **** where you eat I got it). I lost my frame with her, acted needy, after the advices you all gave me in early August I was stupid enough to try to text her and ask her out a couple of times where she either ignored or flaked (did not respond on my text or said she is busy this day without alternative time)

Yeah, it took me some extra time to get my balls and move on with her but I did it - in early September I had enough sh1t and after the last flake I just simple unfollowed her from IG and FB and deleted all the conversations. This was the day before her 30s birthday for which I was not invited despite the other colleagues from work were but at the same time I did not send her happy birthday message.

So after that I went totally NC and payed 0 attention on her at work - no small talk, no hey/hi and stuff like that, but was polite when I needed some job related stuff from her. The whole September I was improving myself: gym, coding, dressed better.

Yesterday we all needed to work but I finished the last one at the office at the midnight - so I went straight to the club where I met my friend. And guess who was there - that girl. I think I spotted her first with some dude who was trying to kiss her but I guess she did not see me. So I was moving around with my friend and then her female friend approached me with "Hey, do you know my friend?" And that girl was standing behind her smiling. So I came over to her, grabbed her waist, pulled over to me, we started talking, dancing and stuff like that. She asked "Why I do not pay attention on her, why I act like that and other BS". I made it clear that she was the one who started ignoring and flaking but probably I just simple needed to say "I do not like your behavior". Anyway we kept dancing, she was giving me some compliments that I am tall, fit and stuff like that, I could touch her everywhere and had some small kisses. Than she introduced me to her friends where that dude was (the one who was trying to make it out with her when I firstly spotted her). So I stayed a bit with them where that dude firstly tried to make his things with her infront of me but then I pulled her to me and he stopped. At one point she told me that they both have some competition with that dude who will dance and kiss more partners at the club and he is winning so she needs to help him to escape who this girl she is dancing with - I simple said "Go". She turned around, grabbed the dude's hand and walked away. I had that "I do not give a fuk" attitude and walked away as well. After this I stayed probably 20 min more at the club and left.

I do not really care if she had anything with that dude or with other dudes after I left - cause I feel I already moved on, and I know that the dude she was with is nothing compared to me in terms of physics and the way how I carry on myself. Over the last month I had good progress at the gym, while she gained some fat a bit. So I came home, had some decent sleep, my brain is not messed up cause of the situation. So what I will do next? - Nothing. I do not care frankly. That girl should really chase me in order to prove that she is worth my attention.

What do you think folks? Shouldn't I talk and dance with her at all?

Sounds like you are answering your own question/dilemma but you're seeking confirmation. I can tell you, that no matter what we say you will figure it out. And sometimes it is important we figure these things out on our own.

Modern Man Advice

 

[dude99]

Aren’t orbiters constantly chase and provide free attention? Neither of both I have done for the past month.

Yes and she sees you as one. When you began NC she had her doubts and didn't know where she stood but when she seen you give her all that free attention she now thinks you are easy to reel in.

Go permanent NC. Next her 100% it is the only thing that will Change her perception of you.

 

[Bingo-Player]

But what is wrong with calling them out for bad behavior if at the end of the day you walk away in both situations?

Theres nothing wrong with it , you just don't gain anything from it so therefore its pointless

You may swell be speaking to a brick wall women do not care about men that aren't fvcking them

 

[powersize]

Theres nothing wrong with it , you just don't gain anything from it so therefore its pointless

You may swell be speaking to a brick wall women do not care about men that aren't fvcking them

I always thought that by doing so you show that you have balls and have your boundaries - which is simply you do not tolerate her BS.

The thing is if the girl doesn't ask why you pulled away and acts like nothing happened after your "I do not like" speech - that yeah, this is pure validation where she just confirmed how low value you are.

 

[bat soup]

Hey folks. There is that girl I was messing up with a couple of month ago.

Here is the old threat:

Fuked up tonight

Learn to be present and in the moment. Expect anything but don't anticipate anything. Play the long game and don't let anything get emotional. A few months ago I had a woman that I'd set up a date with that cancelled at the last minute. No problem, I always expect something like this could...

www.sosuave.net

Long story short - this is the girl I work with (yeah-yeah Do not **** where you eat I got it). I lost my frame with her, acted needy, after the advices you all gave me in early August I was stupid enough to try to text her and ask her out a couple of times where she either ignored or flaked (did not respond on my text or said she is busy this day without alternative time)

Yeah, it took me some extra time to get my balls and move on with her but I did it - in early September I had enough sh1t and after the last flake I just simple unfollowed her from IG and FB and deleted all the conversations. This was the day before her 30s birthday for which I was not invited despite the other colleagues from work were but at the same time I did not send her happy birthday message.

So after that I went totally NC and payed 0 attention on her at work - no small talk, no hey/hi and stuff like that, but was polite when I needed some job related stuff from her. The whole September I was improving myself: gym, coding, dressed better.

Yesterday we all needed to work but I finished the last one at the office at the midnight - so I went straight to the club where I met my friend. And guess who was there - that girl. I think I spotted her first with some dude who was trying to kiss her but I guess she did not see me. So I was moving around with my friend and then her female friend approached me with "Hey, do you know my friend?" And that girl was standing behind her smiling. So I came over to her, grabbed her waist, pulled over to me, we started talking, dancing and stuff like that. She asked "Why I do not pay attention on her, why I act like that and other BS". I made it clear that she was the one who started ignoring and flaking but probably I just simple needed to say "I do not like your behavior". Anyway we kept dancing, she was giving me some compliments that I am tall, fit and stuff like that, I could touch her everywhere and had some small kisses. Than she introduced me to her friends where that dude was (the one who was trying to make it out with her when I firstly spotted her). So I stayed a bit with them where that dude firstly tried to make his things with her infront of me but then I pulled her to me and he stopped. At one point she told me that they both have some competition with that dude who will dance and kiss more partners at the club and he is winning so she needs to help him to escape who this girl she is dancing with - I simple said "Go". She turned around, grabbed the dude's hand and walked away. I had that "I do not give a fuk" attitude and walked away as well. After this I stayed probably 20 min more at the club and left.

I do not really care if she had anything with that dude or with other dudes after I left - cause I feel I already moved on, and I know that the dude she was with is nothing compared to me in terms of physics and the way how I carry on myself. Over the last month I had good progress at the gym, while she gained some fat a bit. So I came home, had some decent sleep, my brain is not messed up cause of the situation. So what I will do next? - Nothing. I do not care frankly. That girl should really chase me in order to prove that she is worth my attention.

What do you think folks? Shouldn't I talk and dance with her at all?

She sounds like another dumb attention whoare doing what dumb attention whoares always do. She reeled you in and then spat you out, just so that you would boost her ego by showing that you still wanted her.

The way to get over women like this is to realize that they're garbage. Once an attention whoare, always an attention whoare. They won't change and they won't suddenly become attracted to you if they weren't before.

 

[powersize]

She sounds like another dumb attention whoare doing what dumb attention whoares always do. She reeled you in and then spat you out, just so that you would boost her ego by showing that you still wanted her.

The way to get over women like this is to realize that they're garbage. Once an attention whoare, always an attention whoare. They won't change and they won't suddenly become attracted to you if they weren't before.

You told me the same 2 months ago - most likely you are right here. But I don't wanna overthink the situation. I simple relaxed, let my instincts work, and enjoyed the night. If the validation was her ultimate plan - fine, she got what she was looking for. But at the end of the day I am still the winner - because I have been working on myself over the last 2 months, did not overreact on her BS and gonna continue ignoring her like I did before.