When a woman talks about one specific ex every date

[zinc4]

Got into a minor altercation with my guy friend last night over this topic that he is currently dealing with.

He has been seeing a new woman for the past 2 months and opened up to me last night after a few shots of how he is falling for this chick but there is one thing really bothers him. Prior to last night he has not really talked much about this girl to me because he knows how red pilled my thinking is and we often views things differently about women.

Anyways, the thing that is getting to him is the fact that she can't stop talking about her ex husband and how much she hates him.

This chick has 2 kids it turns out... one with a man who passed away already from sepsis and another from her most recent ex husband who she always talks about to him because she "hates" him because he left her and the daughter that they had together after she had begged him not to. He also left her at a crucial moment when her first daughter who she had with the now deceased ex passed away from a blood clot during surgery.

My friend says she always has to mention this key event of him leaving her right after her first daughter passed.

The red flags here are just too many to literally count.

So i told him well you probably know what i think already...i would never consider a single mom for a relationship in the first place, period. They just have too much baggage.

My friend always gets very defensive easily so he says yeah that's why i don't really talk about her much to you because i know how biased you are about women. So i said biased? It's not being biased it's really just common sense.

To make matters worse, this woman still has to text her ex and stay in communication with him because her children go stay with him every other weekend.

So after a few more drinks he is visibly very upset and tells me that she drove him to her house this on Saturday when going to starbucks together because she had mentioned that after he left her he kept the house and sold it for himself. So this woman has the nerve to actually take my friend to that very house for whatever reason to show him it.

I kind of went off on him at that point and told him to evacuate now and told him about a girl i literally just had to next this weekend myself because of BS drama and redflags.

After hearing me telling him to stop seeing her, he tells me, "see you always jump to harsh conclusions too soon. She made it a point to tell me after seeing the house that they shared together that the reason she talks so much about him is because she hates him not because she cant get over him."

I then said are you crazy? Hate means there are still STRONG feelings there. Indifference is what she should feel. And taking you that house was incredibly insensitive and selfish on her part. Clearly it is bothering you fir obvious reasons. Personally, Id be so annoyed by that unless she was just another plate which to him she is clearly not. Even a plate doing that would annoy me.

So my friend is a bit alcohol fueled at this point and says "see...you always see everything as black and white. She tells me that she loves me every day and its more complicated than you think i just want her to stop mentioning him so much not to stop seeing her.

At this point im feeling annoyed at him. So I told him look, im just giving it to you straight you are in for a world of hurt if you keep taking this woman seriously. I would run not walk. Next time don't take single mothers seriously. I don't care if she is the hottest effing milf in the world. They are all damaged goods. ESPECIALLY this one.

So then he stands up and slams his chair back into place and says you know what forget i even told you anything. My sister gives me much better advice anyways. You are way too cynical. Yeah it bothers me but it doesnt mean i should up and stop seeing her out of the blue.

Lmfao. This guy never learns and seems to almost resent my rational way of thinking. I will never understand why so many guys are in total denial like this. He is still my friend, but i will remind him if the time i tried to talk sense into him if/when this really goes south for him which it obviously will.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

Got into a minor altercation with my guy friend last night over this topic that he is currently dealing with.

He has been seeing a new woman for the past 2 months and opened up to me last night after a few shots of how he is falling for this chick but there is one thing really bothers him. Prior to last night he has not really talked much about this girl to me because he knows how red pilled my thinking is and we often views things differently about women.

Anyways, the thing that is getting to him is the fact that she can't stop talking about her ex husband and how much she hates him.

This chick has 2 kids it turns out... one with a man who passed away already from sepsis and another from her most recent ex husband who she always talks about to him because she "hates" him because he left her and the daughter that they had together after she had begged him not to. He also left her at a crucial moment when her first daughter who she had with the now deceased ex passed away from a blood clot during surgery.

My friend says she always has to mention this key event of him leaving her right after her first daughter passed.

The red flags here are just too many to literally count.

So i told him well you probably know what i think already...i would never consider a single mom for a relationship in the first place, period. They just have too much baggage.

My friend always gets very defensive easily so he says yeah that's why i don't really talk about her much to you because i know how biased you are about women. So i said biased? It's not being biased it's really just common sense.

To make matters worse, this woman still has to text her ex and stay in communication with him because her children go stay with him every other weekend.

So after a few more drinks he is visibly very upset and tells me that she drove him to her house this on Saturday when going to starbucks together because she had mentioned that after he left her he kept the house and sold it for himself. So this woman has the nerve to actually take my friend to that very house for whatever reason to show him it.

I kind of went off on him at that point and told him to evacuate now and told him about a girl i literally just had to next this weekend myself because of BS drama and redflags.

After hearing me telling him to stop seeing her, he tells me, "see you always jump to harsh conclusions too soon. She made it a point to tell me after seeing the house that they shared together that the reason she talks so much about him is because she hates him not because she cant get over him."

I then said are you crazy? Hate means there are still STRONG feelings there. Indifference is what she should feel. And taking you that house was incredibly insensitive and selfish on her part. Clearly it is bothering you fir obvious reasons. Personally, Id be so annoyed by that unless she was just another plate which to him she is clearly not. Even a plate doing that would annoy me.

So my friend is a bit alcohol fueled at this point and says "see...you always see everything as black and white. She tells me that she loves me every day and its more complicated than you think i just want her to stop mentioning him so much not to stop seeing her.

At this point im feeling annoyed at him. So I told him look, im just giving it to you straight you are in for a world of hurt if you keep taking this woman seriously. I would run not walk. Next time don't take single mothers seriously. I don't care if she is the hottest effing milf in the world. They are all damaged goods. ESPECIALLY this one.

So then he stands up and slams his chair back into place and says you know what forget i even told you anything. My sister gives me much better advice anyways. You are way too cynical. Yeah it bothers me but it doesnt mean i should up and stop seeing her out of the blue.

Lmfao. This guy never learns and seems to almost resent my rational way of thinking. I will never understand why so many guys are in total denial like this. He is still my friend, but i will remind him if the time i tried to talk sense into him if/when this really goes south for him which it obviously will.

This sounds like a woman that is alpha widowed. EIther way, talking trash or being resentful about their exes is a big no for me. You will eventually end up on that list and she is already coming predisposed to not working out.

Modern Man Advice

 

[zinc4]

This sounds like a woman that is alpha widowed. EIther way, talking trash or being resentful about their exes is a big no for me. You will eventually end up on that list and she is already coming predisposed to not working out.

Modern Man Advice

100 percent. I told him the same thing basically. Alpha widowed is exactly the case here.

 

[Robert28]

I’ve been your friend before, but not as bad. I’ll tell you what’s going on with his thinking though, he’s still in the honeymoon phase. She’s never started it. Your friend is there to A) make her ex jealous or B) to not be lonely. This woman isn’t into your friend at all. Also, how can your friend be so dumb to not put 2 and 2 together? The husband “left her” but yet he still gets weekend custody and she texts him? Your friend wasn’t smart enough to figure out the rest of that story? She ran the husband off and he couldn’t take it anymore.

 

[Robert28]

This sounds like a woman that is alpha widowed. EIther way, talking trash or being resentful about their exes is a big no for me. You will eventually end up on that list and she is already coming predisposed to not working out.

Modern Man Advice

You want to be on the list that she talks bad about. What you don’t want to be is on the list she never talks about.

 

[zinc4]

I’ve been your friend before, but not as bad. I’ll tell you what’s going on with his thinking though, he’s still in the honeymoon phase. She’s never started it. Your friend is there to A) make her ex jealous or B) to not be lonely. This woman isn’t into your friend at all. Also, how can your friend be so dumb to not put 2 and 2 together? The husband “left her” but yet he still gets weekend custody and she texts him? Your friend wasn’t smart enough to figure out the rest of that story? She ran the husband off and he couldn’t take it anymore.

Yeah. My friend is in for a world of hurt. He is too stubborn to see it though. He also told me that later that very same day she went out of her way to show him a picture of her ex's current gf and if he thought she was pretty or not.

Like seriously....wtf. How can one be so blind?

 

[Alvafe]

Zinc4 this guy is not saveable ATM. Tell him he is fcked and drop it. He will be back when his azz gets handed to him by this chick.

actually he never will be, he is one of even in dead he will stick with it.

thing is guys like him will not let it go they think they know, but then he comes to you to cry, with you are not having it, you are a guy and are talking with another guy you are not willing to be a female tampon and even less one for a male (I question this he don't have balls but anyway).

the moment he start to dismiss what you are saying you should have told him, and yet you come here ask my opnion, you know very well you are ****ed if you stay, but you are so afraid to be alone you keep any crumble of female atencion, and yes its better ask your sister, because you have so much success with woman you need to waste your time with a woman who have 2 kids each from diferent parent.

btw did the first daughter died?

 

[cola]

Once you have a conversation about red pill to a guy and you see he just can’t conceive it, just let it be.
Be a good friend and be his dude date for a few weekends after she hurts him. All you can do.

 

[DonJuanjr]

Once you have a conversation about red pill to a guy and you see he just can’t conceive it, just let it be.

Hell, even sometimes they do seem like they see it, but still spit it back out.

 

[Robert28]

Dudes lucky he has a friend like you that will point it out. When I was making those mistakes I didn’t have anyone to lay down the truth for me, I had to learn the hard way. Maybe that’s why I am the way I am now but at least I’ll never put myself in a situation like that ever again. I’m better off for it in most ways and worse off in others, but that’s ok.

 

[CBear]

Didn't read the full thread but I think anyone can tell you with experience that if a woman is so worked up over someone, she's got a lot of feelings for them. I can tell you 100% that her ex can hit her up at any moment to come over and suck his d*** and she would do it. The truth is the truth. You think she'd care to talk to a stranger/date about the loser that she dumped and doesn't give an f about? Nope.

 

[Robert28]

Didn't read the full thread but I think anyone can tell you with experience that if a woman is so worked up over someone, she's got a lot of feelings for them. I can tell you 100% that her ex can hit her up at any moment to come over and suck his d*** and she would do it. The truth is the truth. You think she'd care to talk to a stranger/date about the loser that she dumped and doesn't give an f about? Nope.

Men can’t process that though. When we talk bad about an ex we really mean it, that’s not code for “I still love her”. With women the opposite is true, if they’re talking about an ex that’s bad news. Hell I had a girl that would talk about exes from highschool and she was in her 30’s!

 

[zinc4]

actually he never will be, he is one of even in dead he will stick with it.

thing is guys like him will not let it go they think they know, but then he comes to you to cry, with you are not having it, you are a guy and are talking with another guy you are not willing to be a female tampon and even less one for a male (I question this he don't have balls but anyway).

the moment he start to dismiss what you are saying you should have told him, and yet you come here ask my opnion, you know very well you are ****ed if you stay, but you are so afraid to be alone you keep any crumble of female atencion, and yes its better ask your sister, because you have so much success with woman you need to waste your time with a woman who have 2 kids each from diferent parent.

btw did the first daughter died?

Yes, first one died of a blood clot after a routine surgery. Sad story but still doesn't change the red flags there.

 

[derby1]

your mate is plugged into the whiteknight code of honour, its a terrible disease and one that should be acknowledged by the medical foundation.

I kind of feel sorry for how pathetic he is, but I had the disease, at one point my ex could have given me a STD, and i would have rationalised that i caught it off a toilet seat.

 

[zinc4]

Lol he just texted me to say that she told him over the phone today that she will move the earth for anyone that she loves and she loves him. And she wants him to book a vacation anywhere in the country for the end of September so they can go off on an "escape" together.

So this is his way of saying see i told you so. Haha. Poor guy.

He said see how much she really likes me now? I replied and said her words mean nothing and that i would not take her anywhere if i were him but good luck man.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

Didn't read the full thread but I think anyone can tell you with experience that if a woman is so worked up over someone, she's got a lot of feelings for them. I can tell you 100% that her ex can hit her up at any moment to come over and suck his d*** and she would do it. The truth is the truth. You think she'd care to talk to a stranger/date about the loser that she dumped and doesn't give an f about? Nope.

Nailed it. And this is one of several reasons why you should never talk about your exes to your current girl - because women don't understand:

When we talk bad about an ex we really mean it, that’s not code for “I still love her”.

My response to every question about my dating/relationship history is, "I never kiss and tell" with a smirk.

Lol he just texted me to say that she told him over the phone today that she will move the earth for anyone that she loves and she loves him. And she wants him to book a vacation anywhere in the country for the end of September so they can go off on an "escape" together.

But Zinc4, she said she'd move the earth!

I literally laughed out loud at this. She loves him so much that she's demanding he blow money taking her on a trip! That's love! I learned long ago not to offer advice to people who don't ask for it. It's hard when you see someone walking with their eyes closed to the edge of a cliff but you have to let them live their life and make the mistakes that may end up being the ONLY thing that will open their mind to the truth. Hell, I even find that when people do come to me asking for dating advice and I try to instill some knowledge on them, their blue pill brain just can't accept it and they try to argue with me using the same blue pill logic I was previously brainwashed to believe (my favorite one is when they reply to me by saying, "healthy women don't do that / want that / think like that / respond to that" etc). I do get through to some of them but in the end, after they get into another LTR (by following my RP advice), they always act like the things I told them had nothing to do with the successful seduction.

 

[mjb3617]

OP, your friend can't be saved. You're a good friend and gave it your best shot. Once he gets run over by this woman, I hope he's not bitter to the point where he doesn't seek your help.

I have a friend like you that helped me after I got run over. I owe him a lot otherwise I'd be worse off than I am now.

 

[zinc4]

You ruined a friendship. Don’t do it again.

Now he may never figure it out. Don’t ever do it again.
He will go out of his way to make himself right and you wrong. Even if it cuts his own throat. It’s no longer about women now. Think you’re right? Actually you were wrong. So wrong that you might have ruined a relationship with your bro.
that was all about you and what you think you know. If you knew Jack you would help get into hell faster and get it over with.

Next time just listen. Men learn by making mistakes and seeing it for themselves. He doesn’t have your experiences. He is battling his conditioning and trying to reconcile it with what he sees in the world.

Now that you know you fukked up, go fix it.

All about me? No. He told me and i told him my honest opinion. Friendship will not be ruined by something this minor. What kind of fairweather friends do you have? Ffs. We say exactly what we think to eachother. He gives it to me just as hard on other issues. We might not like it sometimes but it's nothing that would ruin our friendship.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

Its incredible to watch people walk into the fog, only to emerge years later, when everything is different but still strangely the same, it's a moment most of us know and you should know better than to try to direct his journey before he's been given the choice to change his view, just listen to the poor guy, he's already made up his mind because again he's in the fog. You can't do anything but damage.

The fog comes up everywhere, there is affair fog most notably where a wife forgets her husband exists basically

 

[zinc4]

You contributed to sealing his fate. Your job is to help him get back up when he crashes. Your self interest put you before him. That’s not service. His whole job is to now make you wrong. You know what that does? It cuts him off from the fruits of observation. Go fix this.

And stop telling him that it’s for his own good. Especially since it’s not.

You are over thinking. Me and my friends always keep it 100. It does me nothing to tell him that besides giving him the honest truth. My friend might be foolish in this one area of life, but he isnt soft and and is not stupid except when it comes to these kind of women. Just lets his emotions override him. He will realize the truth soon enough and one day we will have a laugh about it.

This guy meets women easily. He just tends to fall for the ones with all sorts of issues then goes full out disney mode and it backfires. If he wanted he could spin plates forever. Doesnt have that mindset though He is 6'6 and good looking. No point in him suffering like this when he can get much better.