Silence after good first date

[Barrister]

Sometimes our definition of a good date differs from a woman's definition of a good date.

I will echo this sentiment. And honestly, OP, from your description of how the date went, I would say that generally any resistance to physical escalation can be a sign that she may not be enjoying it. Principally, the fact that she was "fighting it a bit" at the end to your kissing does not sound like a high interest woman to me. By the end of the first date, if it went well, you should have a good makeup session with a very willing partner. If you do go out again, I would agree with @oldmanofthesea and advise you to dial back the physical touch just a bit. Not completely, because escalation is important, but she clearly has some boundaries that may be a little trickier to cross than your average woman. You have to decide whether they are worth navigating.

 

[BadBoy89]

I already told her on date that I don't like girls who play games like hard to get, I only believe in matual interest.

Wouldn't have said this.

You basically told her other hot young girls have made you crazy with their sexual tactics and you can’t handle it. You need clear, concise straight forward sexual interest from hot young girls.

Remember men, nothing in writing and nothing with your words that can incriminate you,

 

[Romanemp22]

I will echo this sentiment. And honestly, OP, from your description of how the date went, I would say that generally any resistance to physical escalation can be a sign that she may not be enjoying it. Principally, the fact that she was "fighting it a bit" at the end to your kissing does not sound like a high interest woman to me. By the end of the first date, if it went well, you should have a good makeup session with a very willing partner. If you do go out again, I would agree with @oldmanofthesea and advise you to dial back the physical touch just a bit. Not completely, because escalation is important, but she clearly has some boundaries that may be a little trickier to cross than your average woman. You have to decide whether they are worth navigating.

Thanks for your input it's very good. I'm guessing if she was interested she would text me first or would reply to my text,by this way its just disrespectful.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Thanks for your input it's very good. I'm guessing if she was interested she would text me first or would reply to my text,by this way its just disrespectful.

Maybe she thought your actions towards her were disrespectful as well. Always two sides to a coin.

 

[manfrombelow]

@oldmanofthesea nailed it.

Sometimes, even if you have done everything correctly "by the book", women still ghost you, because it's life, and sh!t happens in life.

 

[Barrister]

Thanks for your input it's very good. I'm guessing if she was interested she would text me first or would reply to my text,by this way its just disrespectful.

I would agree for the most part. There is nothing wrong with reaching out on your own from time to time. But I definitely would never reach out a second time if she never responded NOR would I make it so I was ALWAYS the one initiating texts. Some guys have certain rules they follow. You don't need that - but you do need to show that you are busy and not glued to your phone waiting on a response.

And I would advise strongly against seeing a chick's flakiness when it comes to texting as "disrespectful." It isn't that deep. This is female nature. If you get that upset by it you have lost, brother. Take it in stride. If she never responds again, you don't care because you have other tail already lined up.

 

[RickTheToad]

Last night I went on a date with a new girl I've meet through Instagram. We texted for a few days and I asked her out. On date things went really well, she really expressed high interest in me and things I do, you know she did all the things girl do when she likes a guy like occasional touching, complimenting etc.

Now at the beginning of a date I was putting my hands on her leg but she said she don't do that on first date. As the date was progressing I guess she became more comfortable and she was very receptional for my touches. As we were saying good bye, maybe last two three minutes, I pulled her to me and we started making out. She was fighting a bit but she liked it and returned my kisses.

Now after the date I didn't text her, I went to sleep and that's it. Today I sent her occasional flirty voice message and there was /is no response. I could tell she's online as it shows and she's posting on Instagram so I know for a fact she got that message.

Its funny because we really had great vibe, I was initiating making out doing my moves and I really thought she was gonna be crazy about me. I already told her on date that I don't like girls who play games like hard to get, I only believe in matual interest.

What are your thoughts about it? I'm thinking should I call her one last time in maybe two days to set up a date and if she don't pick up or says she's "busy" to move on or I'm thinking moving on right now.

Give it a few days and hit her up with a text. Hey, How are you? If she replies and asks how you're doing, then say fantastic as always. Love to see you again. What does your schedule look like over the next few days? That's how I'd handle it.

 

[Atom Smasher]

She’s likely timid and you are simply too much for her to handle. When she was with you she tried but when apart, her tension was relieved and she preferred that homeostasis.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Guys, we should never forget that when a woman goes out with us for the first time, she is “trying us on”, just like how she tries on a dress. When she buys a dress, she knows full well that she will need to see how it makes her feel the next day before deciding whether or not to keep it.

Similarly, women date us knowing full well that they will have to evaluate how they feel the day after. That’s why a date can seem to go well to a man and yet he won’t hear from her again. The next day is everything.

This is why I say that wise is the man to strategically plants seeds with the day after in mind.

 

[Dash Riprock]

Good for you for getting the date. You made a couple of fixable (for future dates) mistakes.

First, don't force or push her on a first date. If she says no or is fighting you, it's a sign she's not comfortable. Women want to feel safe and comfortable with the men they're out with as they know most of us could snap their neck in 15 seconds. The term is Social Awareness. Think of it as taking what the defense is giving you. This is amplified early on in the dating process. Respect that next time.

Second, though not the kiss of death, I would recommend against being the first one to call/text after a date. High quality and high interest women will actually be the ones to do this. Sometimes with a simple "thank you" which sadly is quite rare as many young(er) women are extremely entitled. So pursue (not chase) the ones that do thank you. HUGE gold star for the ones that do.

I would hit her up in about a week with a date idea. Be specific as to what it is and tell her a date and time. "Hey Sally, just scored two tickets to the Brewers-Cubs game on Thursday. Let's start with drinks and apps at (bar/restaurant) at 6:00 and we'll walk to the game." Or similar. Be the man, make the plan, and take the LEAD.

Good luck.

 

[Romanemp22]

Also I forgot to mention one red flag that I noticed is she was asking me things about marriage, saying that more than 6 months of relationship is too much and you basically need to get married under 6 months of knowing each other and ofc I didn't liked that.

 

[Romanemp22]

Good for you for getting the date. You made a couple of fixable (for future dates) mistakes.

First, don't force or push her on a first date. If she says no or is fighting you, it's a sign she's not comfortable. Women want to feel safe and comfortable with the men they're out with as they know most of us could snap their neck in 15 seconds. The term is Social Awareness. Think of it as taking what the defense is giving you. This is amplified early on in the dating process. Respect that next time.

Second, though not the kiss of death, I would recommend against being the first one to call/text after a date. High quality and high interest women will actually be the ones to do this. Sometimes with a simple "thank you" which sadly is quite rare as many young(er) women are extremely entitled. So pursue (not chase) the ones that do thank you. HUGE gold star for the ones that do.

I would hit her up in about a week with a date idea. Be specific as to what it is and tell her a date and time. "Hey Sally, just scored two tickets to the Brewers-Cubs game on Thursday. Let's start with drinks and apps at (bar/restaurant) at 6:00 and we'll walk to the game." Or similar. Be the man, make the plan, and take the LEAD.

Good luck.

Thanks for your time and reply brother I appreciate advice. I think imma let this one go, if she wanted she would gave me some response other than silent treatment.

 

[Romanemp22]

Never text or call first after 1

As I said I've done that before and never had negative outcome this was first time

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Last night I went on a date with a new girl I've meet through Instagram. We texted for a few days and I asked her out. On date things went really well, she really expressed high interest in me and things I do, you know she did all the things girl do when she likes a guy like occasional touching, complimenting etc.

Now at the beginning of a date I was putting my hands on her leg but she said she don't do that on first date. As the date was progressing I guess she became more comfortable and she was very receptional for my touches. As we were saying good bye, maybe last two three minutes, I pulled her to me and we started making out. She was fighting a bit but she liked it and returned my kisses.

Now after the date I didn't text her, I went to sleep and that's it. Today I sent her occasional flirty voice message and there was /is no response. I could tell she's online as it shows and she's posting on Instagram so I know for a fact she got that message.

Its funny because we really had great vibe, I was initiating making out doing my moves and I really thought she was gonna be crazy about me. I already told her on date that I don't like girls who play games like hard to get, I only believe in matual interest.

What are your thoughts about it? I'm thinking should I call her one last time in maybe two days to set up a date and if she don't pick up or says she's "busy" to move on or I'm thinking moving on right now.

Man, you esculate and she shuts you down. It's what Mystery callebld a IoD. It's disinterest. You called her saying she doesn't do this on 1st dates.

Game = compliance!

Lack of compliance means #next!

Your best ROI is to acquire hotter younger dtf.

 

[Romanemp22]

I would agree for the most part. There is nothing wrong with reaching out on your own from time to time. But I definitely would never reach out a second time if she never responded NOR would I make it so I was ALWAYS the one initiating texts. Some guys have certain rules they follow. You don't need that - but you do need to show that you are busy and not glued to your phone waiting on a response.

And I would advise strongly against seeing a chick's flakiness when it comes to texting as "disrespectful." It isn't that deep. This is female nature. If you get that upset by it you have lost, brother. Take it in stride. If she never responds again, you don't care because you have other tail already lined up.

Agree and I'm the same, I just don't get the point of me texting her again or calling her if she clearly ignored my first text,idk if she's playing some game or really is not interested but I don't think I'm gonna follow up

 

[Romanemp22]

Man, you esculate and she shuts you down. It's what Mystery callebld a IoD. It's disinterest. You called her saying she doesn't do this on 1st dates.

Game = compliance!

Lack of compliance means #next!

Your best ROI is to acquire hotter younger dtf.

Couldn't agree more with that, only compliance and matual interest

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Couldn't agree more with that, only compliance and matual interest

It's OK if she needs more time. I am saying to acquire the ones dtf for you from Go! Most women move like modern women. They are Netflix and chill material. Not play house. Feminine, fit, young, and compliant are the benchmark prerequisite.

Big ups on the date. Now STACK. #NEXTSET! Build off the momentum. Go get more girls. Ping from 1 to the next like Tarzan on a vine.

 

[Romanemp22]

It's OK if she needs more time. I am saying to acquire the ones dtf for you from Go! Most women move like modern women. They are Netflix and chill material. Not play house. Feminine, fit, young, and compliant are the benchmark prerequisite.

Big ups on the date. Now STACK. #NEXTSET! Build off the momentum. Go get more girls. Ping from 1 to the next like Tarzan on a vine.

Giving silent tretmant doesn't suit up as she needs more time. I would definitely respect more if she just told me if she's not interested in going further but this is just childish.

 

[GreatHornedOwl]

Some of you guys still don't get it. All this pickup you've been reading on the internet, and you just can't get it through your brains... women are DIFFERENT. Feeling her up right off the bat on the first date? Can you get any more desperate? Do you not have any self control? You need to realize what you are communicating by doing this: That you are a lonely, horny dude who is not used to being on dates with women. Whether this is actually true isn't the point, that is the message you are sending. You know how to get a woman intrigued? Making her question whether YOU are interested by NOT making a move. Evaluate her personality and how she carries herself to decide if you want to invite her on a second date. Stop giving your power away and putting the ball in her court by immediately displaying your interest when she hasn't given you any reason to do so.

You were just another guy who couldn't keep his paws to himself and scared her away.

 

[Georgepithyou]

Look OP stranger things have happened, I've had a date where we ended up making out in her car and she blocked me the next day because i refused to send her a d*ck pic.

Best not to overthink it and move on.