Ghosted out of nowhere...weird situation and cautionary tale...never assume you'll see a woman again no matter how well it is going

[BackInTheGame78]

Went on a few dates with this cute blonde chick, had a great vibe, attraction on both sides, make out sessions, on the second date she grabbed my hand as we walked and asked if I would want to go to the county fair with her in a few weeks and I teased her and said only if you plan on winning me a giant stuffed animal, and she laughed and said she will try her best...

Everything seemed like it was going normally with a chick that was really into me, she was texting me a lot after the date, saying we should do x,y and z sometime because it looked like fun.

Asked when she was free again a few days after I saw her and she gave me a list of days and I picked Monday and invited her to come cook dinner with me and the chick seemingly freaked out. I mean I have invited women over for dinner on a 3rd date probably 50 times, and 48 of them accepted, the other 2 said they weren't ready for that yet and we did something else. None of them freaked out the way she did.

So she gave me an excuse that she wasn't feeling good and thought she might be getting sick, said she went and got a COVID test but it came back negative, blah blah blah. She said she wasn't sure where her comfort level was with all of this because she just started dating again and blah blah blah. She asked if she could take a raincheck and we would figure something out when she felt better.

So I told her to yeah no issues, feel better and we would figure something out then.

And that was the last I heard from her...it's been like 10 days, noticed she deleted me off the dating app, has not responded to either of the 2 messages I sent.

I mean there is an off chance that she might be really sick or something but I have a feeling she just ghosted me. Doesn't seemingly make any sense to me since we had such a great vibe, there was mutual attraction and we had so many things in common. It felt like a situation that I had been in 3 or 4 times before where things just easily progress...

Except this time I get ghosted...don't really get it but I assume there must be another guy in the picture or maybe she had a boyfriend/is still married and they found out...you never know these days.

Not the end of the world because I have several other women I am dating but she definitely seemed to have a lot of potential.

Just a cautionary tale...no matter how good it's going, never assume you will see her again in the beginning.

 

[SW15]

This is an important message to share. Thank you for sharing the cautionary tale.

I've had some emotionally painful in the moment ghostings, commonly after a 1-3 dates and no sex. Those sorts of things can really impact a person's psychological outlook. That's a better ghosting post than post sex but it still feels lousy.

You're right that early stage relationships are more volatile and prone to behavior like this.

 

[manfrombelow]

Went on a few dates with this cute blonde chick, had a great vibe, attraction on both sides, make out sessions,

1. You were doing very well until this point. Tongue kisses on 1st dates are always good signs that the guy knows what he's doing.

on the second date she grabbed my hand as we walked and asked if I would want to go to the county fair with her in a few weeks and I teased her and said only if you plan on winning me a giant stuffed animal, and she laughed and said she will try her best...

2. Very good. But why didn't you escalate into sex?

Everything seemed like it was going normally with a chick that was really into me, she was texting me a lot after the date, saying we should do x,y and z sometime because it looked like fun.

3. When chicks like you, they initiate most of the chit chat and conversations.

Asked when she was free again a few days after saw her and she gave me a list of days and I picked Monday and invited her to come cook dinner with me and the chick seemingly freaked out. I mean I have invited women over for dinner on a 3rd date probably 50 times, and 48 of them accepted, the other 2 said they weren't ready for that yet and we did something else. None of them freaked out the way she did.

4. The bolded part was how you messed everything up, my brother. You don't ask a girl when she will be free again, because that's needy and weak. Instead, ALWAYS make DEFINITE date. For example, "Let's go to this ABC place at XYZ time."

And, how long was "a few days" here? After two amazing (or so you said) first dates, you must let her have the time to miss you, to think about you, and to decide on her own that she wants to see you again. Normally it should be at least one week, "a few days" as in 2-4 days is too soon, hence it communicates neediness and clinginess from you. And you didn't describe HOW she seemed to "freak out"?

So she gave me an excuse that she wasn't feeling good and thought she might be getting sick, said she went and got a COVID test but it came back negative, blah blah blah. She said she wasn't sure where her comfort level was with all of this because she just started dating again and blah blah blah. She asked if she could take a raincheck and we would figure something out when she felt better.

5. All BS. When someone likes you, they'll make time and space for you. She gave you some BS reasons to not see you, so her Interrest Level in you at this point was fvcking LOW.

So I told her to yeah no issues, feel better and we would figure something out then. And that was the last I heard from her...it's been like 10 days, noticed she deleted me off the dating app, has not responded to either of the 2 messages I sent.

6. So it is what it is. This particular person doesn't want to have anything to do with you anymore. So forget about her, and move on.

Just a cautionary tale...no matter how good it's going, never assume you will see her again in the beginning.

7. Exactly, that's why as men we should (and must) date multiple women at once so we won't have to waste our time & energy into trying to analyze and figure out why some particular female ghosts us while she did this and that to us and we did this and that to her days before.

 

[manfrombelow]

This is an important message to share. Thank you for sharing the cautionary tale.

I've had some emotionally painful in the moment ghostings, commonly after a 1-3 dates and no sex. Those sorts of things can really impact a person's psychological outlook. That's a better ghosting post than post sex but it still feels lousy.

You're right that early stage relationships are more volatile and prone to behavior like this.

Most of the times, it's the absence of sex that makes women ghost us, not vice versa.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

This is an important message to share. Thank you for sharing the cautionary tale.

I've had some emotionally painful in the moment ghostings, commonly after a 1-3 dates and no sex. Those sorts of things can really impact a person's psychological outlook. That's a better ghosting post than post sex but it still feels lousy.

You're right that early stage relationships are more volatile and prone to behavior like this.

Yeah I just don't really get it...nothing up until me inviting her over for dinner would have led me to believe she wasn't into me and would do a complete 180 like that. But whatever...nothing I can do about it so it will not take up any more emotional energy from me.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

1. You were doing very well until this point. Tongue kisses on 1st dates are always good signs that the guy knows what he's doing.



2. Very good. But why didn't you escalate into sex?



3. When chicks like you, they initiate most of the chit chat and conversations.



4. The bolded part was how you messed everything up, my brother. You don't ask a girl when she will be free again, because that's needy and weak. Instead, ALWAYS make DEFINITE date. For example, "Let's go to this ABC place at XYZ time."

And, how long was "a few days" here? After two amazing (or so you said) first dates, you must let her have the time to miss you, to think about you, and to decide on her own that she wants to see you again. Normally it should be at least one week, "a few days" as in 2-4 days is too soon, hence it communicates neediness and clinginess from you. And you didn't describe HOW she seemed to "freak out"?



5. All BS. When someone likes you, they'll make time and space for you. She gave you some BS reasons to not see you, so her Interrest Level in you at this point was fvcking LOW.



6. So it is what it is. This particular person doesn't want to have anything to do with you anymore. So forget about her, and move on.



7. Exactly, that's why as men we should (and must) date multiple women at once so we won't have to waste our time & energy into trying to analyze and figure out why some particular female ghosts us while she did this and that to us and we did this and that to her days before.

I dunno man, I have followed this pattern many times and things have usually gone smoothly for me. I am far from needy. Don't over text, don't freak out if I don't hear from them, do my own thing, am busy working on retiring by the end of the year, etc...

I think she either is seeing someone else or maybe she is actually still dating someone/married and they found out.

 

[manfrombelow]

I dunno man, I have followed this pattern many times and things have usually gone smoothly for me. I am far from needy. Don't over text, don't freak out if I don't hear from them, do my own thing, am busy working on retiring by the end of the year, etc...

I think she either is seeing someone else or maybe she is actually still dating someone/married and they found out.

It's reality and we must accept it. Nowadays, women would ghost us for millions of reasons.

Maybe some other dude got in the picture. Maybe something you said or texted triggered some crazy mechanism in her brain, maybe this, and maybe that. Who cares? Just move the fvck on. That's the only way bro.

 

[SW15]

Instead, ALWAYS make DEFINITE date. For example, "Let's go to this ABC place at XYZ time."

I am a big believer in this. It's a good idea but won't prevent ghostings 100%.

Most of the times, it's the absence of sex that makes women ghost us, not vice versa.

Post sex ghostings happen. A lot of same night lays turn into one night stands. There are times where one participants wants a repeat and the other doesn't. I recall a time with one of my male friends where he got same night sex from the bar. The next time he texted her (within a week, likely 2-3 days later, I don't remember the specifics), she was not down for sex. They might have even had an awkward phone call. I remember him telling me she was a practicing member of some religion and didn't think what she did was good. I think that was a semi-unique circumstance.

One of my most painful ghostings happened in the absence of sex. Many years ago (before swipe apps were invented), there was a third date makeout session at my apartment that didn't escalate into sex. Never saw her again in person.

 

[9-3enthusiast]

Just a cautionary tale...no matter how good it's going, never assume you will see her again in the beginning.

^^^ THIS ^^^

Summer before Covid I was seeing this one woman regularly for a few weeks.
Several times a week, either she came to my place, or I went to hers - bedroom fun was fantastic... 2 to 3 hours at a time - It was like we couldn't get enough of each other.
One Friday night I was at her place, we had a great night as usual - then the next day she said she had a problem and needed a few days to get her head around it. I know she had family problems at the time, so thought nothing of it.
Following day she stopped responding to texts - blocked me from social media - and didn't answer (or reply) when I tried to phone her.

Another guy maybe...?
Though I don't know when she woulda got the time, we were almost inseparable out of working hours....
Just shows... you never know... No matter how good things seem to be.

To paraphrase a quote by 'Al Bundy' - From a comedy show called 'Married With Children'.
"Never try to understand a woman - Women understand women, and they all hate each other..."

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I am a big believer in this. It's a good idea but won't prevent ghostings 100%.



Post sex ghostings happen. A lot of same night lays turn into one night stands. There are times where one participants wants a repeat and the other doesn't. I recall a time with one of my male friends where he got same night sex from the bar. The next time he texted her (within a week, likely 2-3 days later, I don't remember the specifics), she was not down for sex. They might have even had an awkward phone call. I remember him telling me she was a practicing member of some religion and didn't think what she did was good. I think that was a semi-unique circumstance.

One of my most painful ghostings happened in the absence of sex. Many years ago (before swipe apps were invented), there was a third date makeout session at my apartment that didn't escalate into sex. Never saw her again in person.

I'm much more of a sex on the 3rd date believer than most. Typically if I bang someone on date 1 or date 2 things don't go so well afterwards...date 3 or later seems to be the proper spot for me where things just seem to naturally progress...

As an aside, I have a woman coming over for dinner tonight that I have been on 3 other dates with and this is date 4. She was excited and asked what she could bring when I told her to come over for dinner. The normal reaction...not a freak out and ghost hahaha

Just a really weird interaction with this other one...

 

[Romanemp22]

I honestly wouldn't give two thoughts about it. So what if she ghosted, it just shows that she's a immature little girl and that's it I'm calling next two girls in line.

She obviously have emotional issues and she showed you she's not worth your time. On to the next one

 

[Georgepithyou]

She did you a massive favour, be glad she ghosted you early on long before you invested any emotions into the relationship.

Maybe she has a boyfriend and felt guilty about going all the way with another guy? You can never really know

 

[RangerMIke]

OP didn't do anything wrong. This sort of thing happens to all of us, I've lost count of how many times it's happened to me. The more you date the more this happens. It's just a chick being a chick. Don't fall into the illusion that it was something you did 'wrong', she's just not right for you. That's it.

More than likely it was something going on in this woman's life having nothing to do with you... forget about her and move on.

 

[manfrombelow]

Post sex ghostings happen. A lot of same night lays turn into one night stands. There are times where one participants wants a repeat and the other doesn't. I recall a time with one of my male friends where he got same night sex from the bar. The next time he texted her (within a week, likely 2-3 days later, I don't remember the specifics), she was not down for sex. They might have even had an awkward phone call. I remember him telling me she was a practicing member of some religion and didn't think what she did was good. I think that was a semi-unique circumstance.

One of my most painful ghostings happened in the absence of sex. Many years ago (before swipe apps were invented), there was a third date makeout session at my apartment that didn't escalate into sex. Never saw her again in person.

The bolded part: It happened to me too. The girl saw me as one night stand only. It's natural. But only one out of 100. To the other 99, sex keeped them hooked to me. Without sex? Ghosted!

 

[Dash Riprock]

90% of all women these days have some form of mental illness. It's a spectrum, some overtly pretty bad and others hide it well. It's a result of single parenting, uber-consumer bling-bling wannabe life style they see on tv, weak p*ussy men slobbering on themselves for a maybe date, endless attention on social media, and endless dating options as a result. Add all this up and you have a huge pool of really fuc*ked up women.

Just date for fun and sex. Like going to McDonald's; you get a hugely satisfying fatty salty meal, you down it in 15 minutes, crumple up the bag and you're done.

Women should be WAY down on the list of a man's priorities.

 

[SW15]

I'm much more of a sex on the 3rd date believer than most. Typically if I bang someone on date 1 or date 2 things don't go so well afterwards...date 3 or later seems to be the proper spot for me where things just seem to naturally progress...

As an aside, I have a woman coming over for dinner tonight that I have been on 3 other dates with and this is date 4. She was excited and asked what she could bring when I told her to come over for dinner. The normal reaction...not a freak out and ghost hahaha

Just a really weird interaction with this other one...

I don't put a time constraint on when sex happens. This is because I've had more serial monogamist goals than player goals over time. With that said, I have been active for 20+ years of being active in the environment and there have been no 5-10 year long relationships that have taken me away from the environment for an extended period. Man in my age cohort (mid to late 30s) have had those 5+ year relationships. Plus, game is also useful for retaining women for an extended period. Being active for as long as I have been will lead to a decent notch count if game is studied and at least adequate.

You'll be fine with your home dinner date tonight.

I agree that it was a weird interaction.

The bolded part: It happened to me too. The girl saw me as one night stand only. It's natural. But only one out of 100. To the other 99, sex keeped them hooked to me. Without sex? Ghosted!

There's merit to the point that you make. With women getting messaged so much via text message, social media accounts, and possibly swipe apps, sex is a way to create a hook and position yourself to receive a text message response or an answered/returned phone call if you make phone calls at times.

90% of all women these days have some form of mental illness. It's a spectrum, some overtly pretty bad and others hide it well. It's a result of single parenting, uber-consumer bling-bling wannabe life style they see on tv, weak p*ussy men slobbering on themselves for a maybe date, endless attention on social media, and endless dating options as a result. Add all this up and you have a huge pool of really fuc*ked up women.

Just date for fun and sex. Like going to McDonald's; you get a hugely satisfying fatty salty meal, you down it in 15 minutes, crumple up the bag and you're done.

Women should be WAY down on the list of a man's priorities.

In 2015, 4 years before his declared conversion to Christianity, Roosh wrote an article about dating for fun and sex being like eating at McDonald's.

Junk Food Sex – Roosh Valizadeh

When I was in college, I would eat McDonald's food at least three times a week. It never caused me indigestion or acute health problems. If I eat a McDonald's meal today, fifteen years later, I feel digestive discomfort not only one hour after eating but also the following day. Maybe I'm more sensit

www.rooshv.com

You're right about mental illness being common. Riding the carousel is much more likely to lead to some sort of mental illness. A lot of women are long time carousel riders long before we meet them. All the other factors you discuss are accurate.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

90% of all women these days have some form of mental illness. It's a spectrum, some overtly pretty bad and others hide it well. It's a result of single parenting, uber-consumer bling-bling wannabe life style they see on tv, weak p*ussy men slobbering on themselves for a maybe date, endless attention on social media, and endless dating options as a result. Add all this up and you have a huge pool of really fuc*ked up women.

Just date for fun and sex. Like going to McDonald's; you get a hugely satisfying fatty salty meal, you down it in 15 minutes, crumple up the bag and you're done.

Women should be WAY down on the list of a man's priorities.

My priorities are crypto and trying to retire by the end of the year...I just don't really get what the issue was. It was like a light switch flipped when I invited her to come have dinner with me as if I was a serial killer or something.

 

[Barrister]

My priorities are crypto and trying to retire by the end of the year...I just don't really get what the issue was. It was like a light switch flipped when I invited her to come have dinner with me as if I was a serial killer or something.

No use in obsessing over it, brother. Clearly, you really liked this chick. But you have been doing this long enough to know that another one will come around that you like just as much if not better. Look at it this way, her flipping out and deleting you over something this trivial basically allowed you to dodge a bullet. Think if you kept going with her and she did something even more intensely bat sh1t crazy down the line. Count your blessings and move on.

 

[AttackFormation]

I was gonna say this woman was acting like she had an anxiety disorder.

What about the women who dont have a single picture without cosmetics + photoshop, whose expressions imply an identification with that appearance. What disorders is that a sign of?

I dont know anymore, am i the crazy one? is the cosmetics + photoshop appearance the reality, and their appearance without that is what's fake?

 

[Guy69JackBlue]

What about the women who dont have a single picture without cosmetics + photoshop, whose expressions imply an identification with that appearance. What disorders is that a sign of?

I dont know anymore, am i the crazy one? is the cosmetics + photoshop appearance the reality, and their appearance without that is what's fake?

It's narcissism.

99.99999999999999% of females have it. It's inherent in their biology to delude their sense of personal value because they have very little tangible use in reality.

If females didn't have male help, civilization would collapse in a matter of weeks. Yet somehow things are seen as backwards and that they're the valuable ones.