Ok, why did this girl ghost?

[SargeMaximus]

This is a manipulative conversation. I’ve had similar but they turned out well.
How likely is it that a woman you have never met would jump to high level sexual escapades?

There was no subtext in her words. Straight man directness. Usually if they are interested, it’s like a ramp. From innuendo as a start point. Arousal is more gradual. If you have been kissing or touching I could see it. She can go from Luke warm to hot quickly in the right context. But there’s still a ramp. The slow building caused by closeness.

I had to talk more with a woman if it was by text. I had a couple meet me for the first time for sex. But the calibration was instinctual. There was no thinking on my part. Once in the zone you just go with it.

What I read in your post is just a woman trying erotic texting. You didn’t play. She asked what you intended to do with her. You shut it down.

Let me ask you a legitimate question. What data, philosophy or game idea were you using? This isn’t a make wrong, I just want you to look at what information you were operating on.

I was trying not to be too sexual because you guys tell me it’s not a good idea. If I was doing my normal style of game I would have told her what I was going to do with her.

yet another example of me taking advice from here and getting blue balls with it

 

[SargeMaximus]

I agree with your own assessment. I’ve been very successful moving up the ramp to sex. Getting her mind to imagine good feelings is the same as doing good things.

It’s the lack of the ramp that says she just wanted erotic texting with you. That can lead to sex, IF you are skilled with words. You forgot to have fun is your only error. Sext with her for fun next time. Good practice for extreme dirty talk when you get a woman worked up in person. That which you can imagine, you can have. Next time just have some fun. None of this is serious stuff. This is ALL play. Go with what you know until you know more.

You bringing up sex in a direct linear manner can most definitely crash things. HER bringing up sex is the exact opposite. Even if she was just wanting sexting and was never intending to meet you, you get dirty talk practice. Notice I said “intending”, do you think women ever change their minds?

Yeah that’s normally what I do. But I am trying to improve my game but it’s funny how when i decide to make changes, I run into girls that my old style would work on

 

[SargeMaximus]

That is interesting indeed. Just an opinion, but isn’t it time to work on direct masculinity? I believe that things are already in you. There are elements that this basic stuff doesn’t help with. The upper level of your life is something different. I know it was for me. It was ideas and constructs within me that messed me up.

Here is a little secret. A real nugget. It’s been said that confidence is an attractant. It is but is very contextual. One can be extremely competent and confident in what he does. Won’t help.

The only “confidence” that really penetrates a woman…is sexual confidence. When women talk about confidence in a man, they are talking about sexual confidence. They just don’t know what else to call it. It’s a general telegraphed vibe that they pick up. Their body responds. Her genetics respond. Remember that there is communication going on that is non verbal.

Now there are plenty of women who won’t respond unless you are 6’6” and built like a rhino. You are only interested in those that respond to your presence. I had a cute women at a friggin gas station today start talking to me about having a problem figuring out what drink to buy. I directed her to the carbonated drinks with no sugar and introduced myself. THAT is an opening. If I was a computer geek with no sexual confidence I would not have existed to her.

Work on that maybe? How would a man carry himself if he had high sexual confidence?

I have high sexual confidence. I been with lots of girls. But I don’t have confidence in my ability to get hotter girls. It’s kind of a weird thing.

 

[SargeMaximus]

You found your ruin. The item that derails you. Nice. This is an unworthiness in you. Just my opinion. Look at it and evaluate it for yourself. I had the same thing.

There are social
Pressures and ideas that pressure you in this. Too old. No six pack. All kinds of social stigma is thrown at you to keep you small. That is how our social structure is designed.

At least you know what your ruin is. You have a way out. You are the cause of this. I journal and write. It’s always on my mind. This basic stuff won’t help you.

Yes I agree. Everything you are saying is the kind of game I’m trying to evolve into. A true natural of my own style. This is what I’ve been looking for when I came here. I call it the missing Keyes.

Can you help me? Do you have a blog or books or something? Can I pm you stuff from time to time?

 

[SargeMaximus]

Of course. I can only give you my viewpoint and won’t tell you what to do or think. A good life pulls in good things. I am no pick up artist. I’m just a man. My troubles and problems of life are just different now. Be thankful for your challenges and problems. Without them you would be bored stiff. I’m going for a motorcycle ride to clear my mind now. Night driving on rural roads helps me.

So like my first question would be how come some women are initially attracted to me but then when I be my normal self they lose interest? If it’s simply a matter of me needing to be a better conversationalist as is being suggested, won’t that come across as disingenuous and fake? How can I improve my game without becoming a faker that she can tell is just faking it?

 

[PRW63]

Yeah fair. Still, not being direct like this doesn’t get me laid so it would seem I have no choice but to keep using it.

Im not desperate,I’m the same way in sales. I like to think my subtext is “I want it, but it’s not necessary from you.”

What matters is how the subject interprets it,...not what you meant by it.

 

[SargeMaximus]

What matters is how the subject interprets it,...not what you meant by it.

Yeah and ime whenever I try the way you are suggesting, it gets interprets as fake, which it is. Whereas my way I get laid

 

[PRW63]

Yeah and ime whenever I try the way you are suggesting, it gets interprets as fake, which it is. Whereas my way I get laid

No you aren't doing it as I suggested because I never suggested a way to do it in order for you to follow it. All I did was tell you what I thought was wrong in your Text Game from the example you gave. You are mixing me up with someone else.

I never tell anyone "how to get laid". My focus is always on the self-improvement side of the fence. The rest is always philosophical and maybe sudo-political (RP, evils of Feminism, etc.). My advice,...on the few occasions that I give it,.... can be used by anyone on either extreme from the one who wants to wait till marriage for sex, to the Pump & Dumper on the other extreme. It is mostly how to not scare the woman away before you even get the date,...what they do once on the date is their problem, but if they ruin the date I will tell them why.

 

[SargeMaximus]

No you aren't doing it as I suggested because I never suggested a way to do it in order for you to follow it. All I did was tell you what I thought was wrong in your Text Game from the example you gave. You are mixing me up with someone else.

I never tell anyone "how to get laid". My focus is always on the self-improvement side of the fence. The rest is always philosophical and maybe sudo-political (RP, evils of Feminism, etc.). My advice,...on the few occasions that I give it,.... can be used by anyone on either extreme from the one who wants to wait till marriage for sex, to the Pump & Dumper on the other extreme. It is mostly how to not scare the woman away before you even get the date,...what they do once on the date is their problem, but if they ruin the date I will tell them why.

Ok my bad. I get so much advice on here that sounds the same.

so my text game is weak, I agreebut I also thought the point of texting was to set a date and logistics only.

so without telling me to be a better conversationalist (Which is the advice I was responding to) what would you suggest I need to do different?

If it’s different than what I’ve heard on here and different from what I’ve tried before, I will try it.

 

[bat soup]

Guys, I even purposefully tried not to talk about sex or show too much interest this time yet this girl deleted her account shortly after. Pics below

You should have asked for her number and taken the conversation off the site. It seems this girl actually wanted to talk about sex, but who knows if she was fake or real. It could be a dude that gets off talking about it or it could be some fat ugly girl that gets off on wasting men's time.

I remember some girl asking me "are you kinky" and then disappearing. A lot of women on these sites are attention whoares.

 

[RBK]

So like my first question would be how come some women are initially attracted to me but then when I be my normal self they lose interest? If it’s simply a matter of me needing to be a better conversationalist as is being suggested, won’t that come across as disingenuous and fake? How can I improve my game without becoming a faker that she can tell is just faking it?

What is your "normal self" nice?

The problem I see now is women have a LOT of options due to on line dating. Fours on Tinder think they are 10s because they are getting DMd but 100 guys who are probably 7s. It's skewed the whole damn system and men are continuing to give these women attention and validation which ****s up the scale for everyone.

Best thing you can do is make yourself better everyday, try not to think so hard when texting with women and develop your own style. Women need to know you won't tolerate certain things and you need boundries as an older man. Being able to walk away at any point is a strong motivator.

I could be wrong, but you seem to seek validation from women which is a dangerous problem to have.

 

[PRW63]

Ok my bad. I get so much advice on here that sounds the same.

Too much advice is a bad thing.

so my text game is weak, I agreebut I also thought the point of texting was to set a date and logistics only.

so without telling me to be a better conversationalist (Which is the advice I was responding to) what would you suggest I need to do different?

Thinking back to about maybe the 3rd post to you I remember giving some advice, and it fits with the "Don't scare her away before the date". I said to get away from the text and meet face to face as soon as possible. I remember saying that body language, facial expressions, tone of voice, are what makes a huge difference. So it is the over-all way you present yourself,...not just conversation. Sometimes the less you say the better. It means they know less about you, gives more mystery about you,... which leaves more room for curiosity,...and curiosity makes them want to learn more, and they can't learn more without being around you.

 

[SargeMaximus]

What is your "normal self" nice?

The problem I see now is women have a LOT of options due to on line dating. Fours on Tinder think they are 10s because they are getting DMd but 100 guys who are probably 7s. It's skewed the whole damn system and men are continuing to give these women attention and validation which ****s up the scale for everyone.

Best thing you can do is make yourself better everyday, try not to think so hard when texting with women and develop your own style. Women need to know you won't tolerate certain things and you need boundries as an older man. Being able to walk away at any point is a strong motivator.

I could be wrong, but you seem to seek validation from women which is a dangerous problem to have.

Lol, not at all. I walk away regularly. Just finding that walking away doesn’t get you laid either

 

[SargeMaximus]

Too much advice is a bad thing.

Thinking back to about maybe the 3rd post to you I remember giving some advice, and it fits with the "Don't scare her away before the date". I said to get away from the text and meet face to face as soon as possible. I remember saying that body language, facial expressions, tone of voice, are what makes a huge difference. So it is the over-all way you present yourself,...not just conversation. Sometimes the less you say the better. It means they know less about you, gives more mystery about you,... which leaves more room for curiosity,...and curiosity makes them want to learn more, and they can't learn more without being around you.

Yeah I’m trying of course. A current trend I’m noticing is women I’m messaging online claim to be out of town for a week. So we can’t meet right away. Not sure what I can do with that. By the time a week is up, she’s been railed by someone else

 

[bat soup]

Yeah I’m trying of course. A current trend I’m noticing is women I’m messaging online claim to be out of town for a week. So we can’t meet right away. Not sure what I can do with that. By the time a week is up, she’s been railed by someone else

This is probably a lie. That just means that you're low on their priority list or they just want to chit chat.

 

[SargeMaximus]

This is probably a lie. That just means that you're low on their priority list or they just want to chit chat.

The sky is also blue >>
Seriously, what is the solution?

 

[bat soup]

The sky is also blue >>
Seriously, what is the solution?

Well, if a woman is fobbing you off with lies then you should treat her accordingly. Don't make her important, be direct and don't waste a lot of time chatting to her.

 

[PRW63]

Yeah I’m trying of course. A current trend I’m noticing is women I’m messaging online claim to be out of town for a week. So we can’t meet right away. Not sure what I can do with that. By the time a week is up, she’s been railed by someone else

Likely she wasn't out of town,...it just wasn't your turn at the wheel yet. With OLD, for every one match you get the average decent looking woman will get 10 (if not more). So the deck is stacked against you 10-to-1. Now of course my numbers aren't "scientific",...but you get the point, right? That is why you have to meet in person as quick as you can to beat the others to the punch. Many of those guys will chat her fingers off for days with out making a date so use it to your advantage.

Work toward your advantages,...and,... you have way more advantage face-to-face in real life meeting women though the process of a normal healthy social life. Now the women you meet that way may still be using OLD,...sorry, you can't do anything about that. But at least you had the in-person advantage of meeting her face-to-face which the other guys on OLD don't have and wish they could get.

 

[SargeMaximus]

Well, if a woman is fobbing you off with lies then you should treat her accordingly. Don't make her important, be direct and don't waste a lot of time chatting to her.

Isn’t that what everyone has been telling me is the wrong way? Wonder how I developed my current style eh?

you guys are hilarious. Literally giving me the advice I already do. Bravo

 

[SargeMaximus]

Likely she wasn't out of town,...it just wasn't your turn at the wheel yet. With OLD, for every one match you get the average decent looking woman will get 10 (if not more). So the deck is stacked against you 10-to-1. Now of course my numbers aren't "scientific",...but you get the point, right? That is why you have to meet in person as quick as you can to beat the others to the punch. Many of those guys will chat her fingers off for days with out making a date so use it to your advantage.

Work toward your advantages,...and,... you have way more advantage face-to-face in real life meeting women though the process of a normal healthy social life. Now the women you meet that way may still be using OLD,...sorry, you can't do anything about that. But at least you had the in-person advantage of meeting her face-to-face which the other guys on OLD don't have and wish they could get.

So, to clarify, conversationalist is NOT effective?

Just wow. That’s what I’ve been saying all along. You guys are genuises/s