Marriage Ultimatums from Women

[PRW63]

I recently saw a clip from a show/movie where a girl broke up with a man during dinner because she realized he had no intention of proposing. He was confused as to what her issue was with this proposal-anxiety, and she replied something along the lines of "I'm a 28-year-old girl, this is what we do."

I agree with the girl. She has a ticking clock. The clock is real. The wall is real. If she wants family/babies and the guy isn't taking her there,...then time is short, life is short,...dump him.

It is no different than a guy dumping a woman because she doesn't share his goals.

Advice for everyone,...don't stay in relationships that aren't going where you want to go. Pretty easy to comprehend.

 

[2Rocky]

yeah, no

if she want to marry and anyone will do then you are just a filler

i was just pin pointing that most women sooner or later will hit you with this , even those that like you a lot

There is a time limit guys....No quality woman is going to be a "plate" for 3 years +. And it is not just about resource extraction...It is about having a stable environment to raise a child in. Once you are 60+ it is about having a partner to grow old with. There is always a reason

 

[Bigpapa]

I agree with the girl. She has a ticking clock. The clock is real. The wall is real. If she wants family/babies and the guy isn't taking her there,...then time is short, life is short,...dump him.

It is no different than a guy dumping a woman because she doesn't share his goals.

Advice for everyone,...don't stay in relationships that aren't going where you want to go. Pretty easy to comprehend.

guys try to go with this alpha mindset , mainly as a way to fix the dynamic between the man and the woman

the sad reality that it has passed the point of no return , and having this very hard lines that people preach will do more damage than good with women in general

if you truly do not like where towards tyings are going then dump her or whatever , but do not try to do things only because it will make you alpha or whatever . That sh1t is not working anymore , and does more damage than good

 

[Bokanovsky]

Men, how do you handle this marriage topic with women?
I'm never getting married but I genuinely don't know the best way to handle this "when are we getting married" stuff. As of right now, I'm leaning toward just telling them "we don't need to get married, why involve the state in our life?" I thought about telling them the damning marriage stats about men and divorce, but I doubt it would resonate with them. So yeah I'm not sure the best course of action here. Appreciate the feedback fellas.

Tell her that marriage is an outdated institution that has no place in the modern world. She'd have a hard time arguing with that.

 

[Joseph Defranza]

I agree with the girl. She has a ticking clock. The clock is real. The wall is real. If she wants family/babies and the guy isn't taking her there,...then time is short, life is short,...dump him.

It is no different than a guy dumping a woman because she doesn't share his goals.

Advice for everyone,...don't stay in relationships that aren't going where you want to go. Pretty easy to comprehend.

my desire for children and marriage are very different. I 100% want children in the future but I don’t want to sign a contract that puts me into a financially compromising position. There is no need for me to be a husband In order to be a good father, the only reason girls want to get wifed up is so it’s harder for men to leave them. Marriage is just literally locking a man in place for security purposes for the female

 

[2Rocky]

If it comes to an Ultimatum from her it is over already. The fact you are behind the curve on this is a huge strike against you.

my desire for children and marriage are very different. I 100% want children in the future but I don’t want to sign a contract that puts me into a financially compromising position. There is no need for me to be a husband In order to be a good father, the only reason girls want to get wifed up is so it’s harder for men to leave them. Marriage is just literally locking a man in place for security purposes for the female

Regardless of marriage or not, you are on the hook for Child Support for 18 years.

 

[Joseph Defranza]

so the consensus I’m getting here is expect every girl to bring up marriage and don’t be surprised if it’s a deal-breaker for her. That sounds objectively correct, it’s a shame that it’s the case though

 

[PRW63]

guys try to go with this alpha mindset , mainly as a way to fix the dynamic between the man and the woman

the sad reality that it has passed the point of no return , and having this very hard lines that people preach will do more damage than good with women in general

Well I know I'm preaching to the choir with you but, I'm not sure a lot know what "alpha" is. It just means to be the leader (same thing in nature), it doesn't mean being a self-centered narcissist or a cartoon character. The dynamic is not between "Alpha & the Woman". The dynamic is between "Masculine & Feminine". But then so many not knowing that difference kind of makes my point.

 

[RickTheToad]

The short answer is, yes, if the relationship makes it that far. The sooner the ultimatum or even the discussion about it, the bigger the red flag. The last girl I dated kept asking me to get married. When I'd dodge the question she kept trying to threaten me by saying, "Well... just so you know...... I asked my last LTR BF if he wanted to get married and he said he wasn't ready then a few years later he proposed to me and I turned him down because he missed his opportunity.... so just know that my offer has an expiration." My response was, "Gotcha."

There are some women who don't want to get married, and they tend to not be conservative women (which is funny because I know most red-pill guys think conservative women are always the ideal - well, when it comes to marriage.... you can expect that demand from them). There are also some women, such as my crazy ex wife, who said she didn't see the point in marriage and didn't want kids and then later changed her mind 3 years later and gave me an ultimatum.

I do have a buddy who's GF gave him an ultimatum after maybe 2-3 years of dating and living together. She wanted kids (so did he) and she just felt he wasn't moving things forward. So she gave him the ultimatum and actually forwarded him the break-up e-mail she sent to her previous boyfriend in which she explained his lack of initiative on moving things forward toward marriage was the cause of her leaving him, and then threatened my friend that he too would suffer the same fate. OOOOF. They are married now and trying to have kids. I can't stand her (for this and other reasons) but I will say that the two of them seem extremely happy together. He never has a bad thing to say about her and even after 5 or 6 years together she is head over heels for him.

If that was me, I would of said, oh, okay. Take care then. Just look at the face and see how she reacts. Pause, and say, see, you didn't like that either. So, don't do that to me. I do not respond to ultimatums. If and when I am ready, I will do so, if this doesn't work for you, no problem. You are free to walk any time you wish. Just remember, no backies.

 

[PRW63]

my desire for children and marriage are very different. I 100% want children in the future but I don’t want to sign a contract that puts me into a financially compromising position.

Financially compromising position? You do that every time you buy a car or get a credit card. You are on the hook for the kids no matter what anyway. If she calls the police and says you slapped her then you are going to jail just as fast married or not.

There is no need for me to be a husband In order to be a good father,

BS. That is how broken children are raised who have no concept what a real family is and what real parents are and what a real father is. These are the kids who grow up (raised by the Public Schools) to destroy the society they live in and go off and join ANTIFA. Socially functional children grow up with parents who actually know what it means to be a parent, and both parents have the mental capacity to actually make a real family work. Get the government out of marriage??,...GREAT! I love it!,...but it is still marriage even if it is a private (non-government) marriage,....it is not "Hey come be my slut/plate for a few years and pop out a couple offspring for me."

 

[RickTheToad]

BS. That is how broken children are raised who have no concept what a real family is and what real parents are and what a real father is. These are the kids who grow up (raised by the Public Schools) to destroy the society they live in and go off and join ANTIFA. Socially functional children grow up with parents who actually know what it means to be a parent, and both parents have the mental capacity to actually make a real family work. Get the government out of marriage??,...GREAT! I love it!,...but it is still marriage even if it is a private (non-government) marriage,....it is not "Hey come be my slut/plate for a few years and pop out a couple offspring for me."

That's painting a broad brush dude. If parents are actually raising their children, keeping them off social media and monitoring what they do online, then the kids should be okay. The fallout from families is due to both parents working and the kids are in daycare. The financial stress is great and usually causes the friction. Crappy diet and not exercising is another thing that changes a person's hormone / mood levels

 

[PRW63]

If it comes to an Ultimatum from her it is over already. The fact you are behind the curve on this is a huge strike against you.

Yes. It is already over by that point. The ultimatum is more of a justification for ending it than anything else. If she was smart she would have ended it before the ultimatum was needed,...it isn't that hard to see where something is going (or not going) if you just pay attention.

 

[Bigpapa]

Well I know I'm preaching to the choir with you but, I'm not sure a lot know what "alpha" is. It just means to be the leader (same thing in nature), it doesn't mean being a self-centered narcissist or a cartoon character. The dynamic is not between "Alpha & the Woman". The dynamic is between "Masculine & Feminine". But then so many not knowing that difference kind of makes my point.

bellow you will find a transcript of An alpha opener from another pua forum :

“As she was walking towards the narrow path she kind of accidentally bump into me super gently, of course i am evil and i made a big **** storm out of it, i took the mma fighting stance and told her using my fake angry method "what is your problem you want to fight" … “

and then also , very important , the poster says that you have to continue with a commanding tone the rest of the discussion

the problem is that unless you have a very effeminate and gay vibe about you or having a big smile , I do not really see how this can not backfire in over 90% of the cases

but guys are told and teached this kind of things

To be frank , even as a guy you would get a bit scared if another dude would approach you like this , unless you are straight out of the hood and are an experienced street fighter

 

[PRW63]

That's painting a broad brush dude. If parents are actually raising their children, keeping them off social media and monitoring what they do online, then the kids should be okay.

...and those are the "real" parents I'm talking about. They aren't the ones I am railing against.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

If that was me, I would of said, oh, okay. Take care then. Just look at the face and see how she reacts. Pause, and say, see, you didn't like that either. So, don't do that to me. I do not respond to ultimatums. If and when I am ready, I will do so, if this doesn't work for you, no problem. You are free to walk any time you wish. Just remember, no backies.

Not sure if you are specifically referring to my ex GF or my friend's wife but in the case of my ex GF, the ultimatum from her end wasn't "marry me or I'll leave you," it was, "marry me or I won't give you the opportunity to marry me in the future." Since I didn't want to marry her, it wasn't an ultimatum LOL. Hence my "Gotcha" reply.

But having said that, I agree with you on the correct response for ultimatums and she did give me other ultimatums; in her attempt to isolate me from my friends, she tried various tactics, the final one being telling me, "Look, your friends have been an issue in our relationship for a year now and I've tried to hang out with them and I feel I've made an effort but they just aren't my kind of people and as long as you remain friends with them, this huge problem between us isn't going to go way and our relationship isn't going to work out." I took 0.0000001 seconds to respond with, "Ok bye." She backpedaled and said, "Wait, what, why?" and I said, "You are giving me an ultimatum to choose between you or my friends. I'm not going to be with someone who puts me in that position," and in typical female fashion she says, "I didn't tell you you had to choose between me and your friends, I just said things between us aren't going to work if you remain with your friends." LOL. Women are so f*cking nuts when it comes to claiming they didn't say what they said. They truly think, "I didn't say I didn't want to eat there, I just said I didn't want to go to that restaurant" are two completely different things and that we are going to buy into that absolute nonsense.

 

[Joseph Defranza]

Financially compromising position? You do that every time you buy a car or get a credit card. You are on the hook for the kids no matter what anyway. If she calls the police and says you slapped her then you are going to jail just as fast married or not.

BS. That is how broken children are raised who have no concept what a real family is and what real parents are and what a real father is. These are the kids who grow up (raised by the Public Schools) to destroy the society they live in and go off and join ANTIFA. Socially functional children grow up with parents who actually know what it means to be a parent, and both parents have the mental capacity to actually make a real family work. Get the government out of marriage??,...GREAT! I love it!,...but it is still marriage even if it is a private (non-government) marriage,....it is not "Hey come be my slut/plate for a few years and pop out a couple offspring for me."

A) a good man I know lost half his retirement in addition to paying alimony cuz of his divorce. That would have happened with or without children involved. That is the kind of deep level financial compromise I am speaking of that I want no part of.
B) “broken children” usually come from a home where one of the parents is not present, most notably a lack of father figure for instance. If both the mother and father live together in the same house to raise the kid and be a family, I don’t see how having the title of “husband” is necessary for their upbringing

 

[2Rocky]

A) a good man I know lost half his retirement in addition to paying alimony cuz of his divorce. That would have happened with or without children involved. That is the kind of deep level financial compromise I am speaking of that I want no part of.

You would be amazed at what the "child support" will extend to, especially if the couple cohabitated. Health insurance, College costs even Retirement because the couple were defacto domestic partners. Have fun when people call yours son a "Cute lil B@stard".

 

[Modern Man Advice]

I recently saw a clip from a show/movie where a girl broke up with a man during dinner because she realized he had no intention of proposing. He was confused as to what her issue was with this proposal-anxiety, and she replied something along the lines of "I'm a 28-year-old girl, this is what we do." Yeah, I get it, she's in the epiphany phase so she's craving the ring. There have been hordes of clips from the Steve Harvey/ Dr. Phil show where men are put on the spot for not proposing and horrible advice is given to women to give their man an ultimatum like "I need a proposal soon or I'll leave." I know if I ever get a real ultimatum, I'm ending the relationship. But in the context of just simply talking about the topic, I don't think I can change their minds.

To be clear, I have absolutely zero intention of ever proposing for the usual financial, legal, and child-custody reasons you hear from this space. But after seeing that clip I thought "is this the kind of sh*t I have to look forward to from literally every single woman I date forever? Constant questions about marriage until they realize I'll never propose in which case they'll eventually leave?" All women grow up just EXPECTING that the end-goal of a relationship is marriage, and I don't know how to get past that deep kind of programming.

Men, how do you handle this marriage topic with women?
I'm never getting married but I genuinely don't know the best way to handle this "when are we getting married" stuff. As of right now, I'm leaning toward just telling them "we don't need to get married, why involve the state in our life?" I thought about telling them the damning marriage stats about men and divorce, but I doubt it would resonate with them. So yeah I'm not sure the best course of action here. Appreciate the feedback fellas.

Say sure, but not without a prenub. That usually does the trick.

Modern Man Advice