I still struggle with the abundance mindset

[firstbornunicorn]

There's no abundance. Especially now with corona, I don't meet many people at all. Unless I drastically lower my standards, there is no abundance whatsoever.

How do you deal with this?

 

[manfrombelow]

Focus on your job, your hobby, your physical exercises... etc... Only spend at max 20% of your time, energy, and resources for dating and banging women.

 

[firstbornunicorn]

Focus on your job, your hobby, your physical exercises... etc... Only spend at max 20% of your time, energy, and resources for dating and banging women.

Ok right now I spend maybe 1% of time on women. Maybe that's my problem?

 

[DonJuanjr]

It's kind of easy to say focus only 20% of your time and energy to banging women when you have plates or enough skill to pull already... When you've been deprived, the need becomes stronger and stronger. I'd say there is a certain point when just focusing on your self is not going to cut it. OP plow forward... That's what I'm doing... I'd say focus as much time as you need to generating a lay from an acceptable female. Screw just focusing on yourself... I am devoting any free time/energy I have to the pickup/dating/banging arena...

 

[Mike32ct]

Not sure you even need that mindset. Wouldn’t worry about it.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Abundance mindset is just a marketing jargon thrown by PUAs I mean red pill coaches to get you to believe their BS. There's nothing wrong with you OP.

 

[Mike32ct]

Abundance mindset is just a marketing jargon thrown by PUAs I mean red pill coaches to get you to believe their BS. There's nothing wrong with you OP.

Yup. It was a state of the art theory in 2004.

 

[jimwho]

Ok right now I spend maybe 1% of time on women. Maybe that's my problem?

I spend twice as much as you.

 

[EyeBRollin]

There's no abundance. Especially now with corona, I don't meet many people at all. Unless I drastically lower my standards, there is no abundance whatsoever.

How do you deal with this?

Meet more people. Gotta put yourself out there. Hit the dating apps.

 

[darksprezzatura]

Part of me thinks it's like believing a delusion.

Sort of mimics grandeur.

It could potentially be triggered by both external and internal circumstances.

Externally, if you have a stable rotation of 3-4 plates or more, it automatically feels like abundance and adapts your mindset accordingly.

Internally, it's triggered by focusing on our purpose which automatically leads to 3-4 plates or more.

Sort of like cognitive dissonance.

actions manifesting mindsets and vice versa.

This is one of the reason's the hero's journey is promoted so much.

Do I make any sense or am I too baked?

 

[Josh Davidson]

Focus on your job, your hobby, your physical exercises... etc... Only spend at max 20% of your time, energy, and resources for dating and banging women.

This sounds like sound advice...maximum of 20% your time, energy, and resources pursuing women.

 

[firstbornunicorn]

Meet more people. Gotta put yourself out there. Hit the dating apps.

It's mostly garbage though on dating apps. Corona makes the rest harder. I'm just gathering my balls and just start hitting on chicks IRL. Which is far from the culture here, I doubt it will work well.

 

[firstbornunicorn]

Internally, it's triggered by focusing on our purpose which automatically leads to 3-4 plates or more.

How? I get what I focus on. If I focus on my purpose you bet your ass I won't be getting women. I need to make a conscious effort to meet women, it doesn't just happen in my daily life. I did this from 17-24, only got laid when I started focusing more on women. I can go full autism and just work. But it won't get me women, I guarantee it.

Believing my way into thinking I have abundant water when dying by dehydration in a desert won't magically make perfect clear water show up. This is magical thinking.

I may need to drink whatever muddy swamp I come across.

 

[Josh Davidson]

How? I get what I focus on. If I focus on my purpose you bet your ass I won't be getting women. I need to make a conscious effort to meet women, it doesn't just happen in my daily life. I did this from 17-24, only got laid when I started focusing more on women. I can go full autism and just work. But it won't get me women, I guarantee it.

Believing my way into thinking I have abundant water when dying by dehydration in a desert won't magically make perfect clear water show up. This is magical thinking.

I may need to drink whatever muddy swamp I come across.

Agreed. I think we need to put in some effort into being good with women if we expect to be.

 

[Alvafe]

How? I get what I focus on. If I focus on my purpose you bet your ass I won't be getting women. I need to make a conscious effort to meet women, it doesn't just happen in my daily life. I did this from 17-24, only got laid when I started focusing more on women. I can go full autism and just work. But it won't get me women, I guarantee it.

Believing my way into thinking I have abundant water when dying by dehydration in a desert won't magically make perfect clear water show up. This is magical thinking.

I may need to drink whatever muddy swamp I come across.

the abundance mindset is more or less you don't give sh!t to woman and will do what benefit you, the mindset happen more often when you ahve options hence why people call it like that, you can have the same mindset even without having woman if you had that mindset once you know how to act.

so what you do with is not working? also note the way things are now will be difficult, because not only woman are more likely to hide but also a lot of venues are closed

also your analogy is kinda bad, you can't live without water, but you sure can live without woman, hell most people life without a arm or a leg, in the end its all in your brain, and as long you can't control yourself and relax things will be hard

 

[Joseph Defranza]

There's no abundance. Especially now with corona, I don't meet many people at all. Unless I drastically lower my standards, there is no abundance whatsoever.

How do you deal with this?

I'm sort of in the same boat as you right now. Loads of work, little time for friends or girls. If I ever suspect I might be acting out of scarcity with a girl though, I ask myself "if you were talking to three other hot girls right now, would you really be acting this way/saying this thing?" If the answer's no, don't behave that way. It sounds simple but it works for me. Whenever I'm not truly living a life of abundance I sometimes have to check myself and remind myself that if I had other options, I would not behave in that specific way. And that usually kills any scarcity behavior for me.

When you're grinding though, keep in mind your hard work will eventually bring you abundance. A true authentic abundance mindset. Hold on to that.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

There's no abundance. Especially now with corona, I don't meet many people at all. Unless I drastically lower my standards, there is no abundance whatsoever.

How do you deal with this?

Are you in one of the areas that is locked down?

If not then you create abundance through volume. There is no way around that. Too many people think there is a magical shortcut. There isn't.

How much volume you need is determined by your looks, skill at getting women out to meet and game.

This isn't really something you can fake very effectively...either you have it or you don't.

 

[Xenom0rph]

OP I salute your honesty. The "abundance mindset" that often gets touted by guys in the manosphere is actually nothing more than a glorified "fake it till you make it" mentality - it's a fallacy.

There's no way to feign an abundance mindset and make women believe it. Women are intuitive creatures, they can spot a guy that's faking an "abundance mindset" easily. There's no way to hide thirst if you're thirsty.

 

[Mike32ct]

Just focus on meeting more women. “Believing” there are lots of women out there for you is neither here nor there.

 

[Guy69JackBlue]

OP I salute your honesty. The "abundance mindset" that often gets touted by guys in the manosphere is actually nothing more than a glorified "fake it till you make it" mentality - it's a fallacy.

There's no way to feign an abundance mindset and make women believe it. Women are intuitive creatures, they can spot a guy that's faking an "abundance mindset" easily. There's no way to hide thirst if you're thirsty.

I think a better mindset to try to adopt is an "I don't care" mindset.